


Thawing a Frozen Heart

by InkstainedGwyn



Category: Persona 4
Genre: AU, Angst, But the team is all here, Depression, Fluff, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Loneliness, Lots of kissing, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, also I wasn't sure if I should tag this but, but then it's ok because holy shit no not going through with that, everybody loves nanako, it's really mostly yosuke and souji and nanako, just be warned, nanako does that thing in november, no really, souji is sad and bitter, there's innuendo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 21:16:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 65
Words: 152,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6770209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkstainedGwyn/pseuds/InkstainedGwyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Souji Seta hated Yosuke Hanamura, who was everything he'd never been allowed to be. </p><p>AU where Yosuke - Golden Child of Inaba, beloved by all - is the leader of the Investigation team, and Souji Seta is just a bitter transfer student with a shadow of his own. Yosuke may be the one who saves him, but it was Nanako who made it possible.</p><p>[Ongoing; has moved past The True Ending and is projected to last until after uni.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So. This does have spoilers, even for an AU, so if you've never played through P4 and you care about spoilers, mind your way. I love goofball Yosuke and serene, calm Souji/Yu, but I also wanted to play with an AU in which Yosuke is the charismatic leader and Souji is... where Souji would have been if the IT hadn't been there to save him. Nanako is also the dearest piece of sunshine to ever walk the fictional earth and I defy anyone to say differently. 
> 
> Here's my [tumblr](https://ohlookashinysquirrel.tumblr.com) if you want to poke at me.

Souji Seta hated Yosuke Hanamura. 

He usually didn’t _hate_ people - he just didn’t care about them. He’d moved from town to town so many times in his sixteen years that he’d long ago given up on trying to make friends; friends were just another liability he didn’t have time for, and they weren’t anything that would impress his parents whenever they came back. Another year, another city; this was the third (fourth? He couldn’t remember) time he’d been sent to stay with a relative - whenever his father took a diplomatic position outside the country, he’d stay in Japan with some family member or another. The last time had been with a maiden aunt in Sapporo and it was awful; she’d been kind enough, but had no idea how to live with a child (Souji had been ten). 

Luckily for both of them, Souji had been cured of his childhood at a very early age, had it locked down and away along with the rest of his emotions, like awkward linens given to you by your maiden aunt that you never wanted to use but couldn’t get rid of for whatever reason, even if you knew she’d never visit and they’d never, _ever_ see any use. When his parents lived in the country, he lived with them, but it might as well have been living alone - a silent apartment to come home to, meals prepared once a week by some hired help, and eventually himself (you learn to cook when you’re alone), a silent apartment to study in, sleep in, and leave from, each morning, for school. Even when his parents were home they were busy, and if they were busy, he was expected to stay in his room, studying, without bothering them, unless he needed a form signed or to present his grades. Souji was also a grade-A student. There was no question that he’d be going to Tokyo University, probably to study law; his father had even occasionally mused on the idea of Harvard, perhaps, or Cambridge.

His parents were away now, in some other country, and Souji was in Inaba. It wasn’t his parents’ first choice - there was _no_ school around here that could even challenge him - but he wasn’t old enough to live alone, and there’d been a rash of new babies, broken bones, and illnesses in the family that left his mother’s youngest brother, Ryotaro Dojima, as the only one who could take Souji. At least Dojima was a detective - Souji might get _something_ out of it that would help him on his way to a law degree. 

And so he came to Inaba, another bump on the increasingly-traveled map of his life, and he settled down into it the same way as he had every other place. Quiet, study, get through it, get over it, get on with it. At least in a small town, he _knew_ he’d be out of place, probably ostracized or pigeonholed and he really _didn’t_ care, he just had to get through it. That’s all life was, really. And he was right. Certainly, a few folks tried to talk to him on his first day; he expected that, and he wasn’t rude to them. There was no need to be rude to them. He just wasn’t friendly, and by the end of the week, they left him alone - especially once they realized that he was at least eight months, if not a year, ahead of them in studies. It was to be expected, as a transfer student.

Except, Yosuke Hanamura didn’t have that problem. Yosuke was _loud_ , he was bright and cheerful, everybody loved Yosuke, everybody _loved_ Yosuke, or if they didn’t love him, they adored him, or he’d helped get them together by being a mediary, or he’d found them an anniversary gift or helped their grandmother find her keys or filled their grandpa’s coal hutch or _who the hell knew_. Yet, Yosuke was a transfer student, had moved to Inaba five or six months before Souji. 

_How the hell does he do it? His father manages Junes, there’s no way this is his first move_. He shook his head. _Well, he’ll learn eventually. We all did._

Except, Yosuke Hanamura seemed like he never would. Everybody loved him - half his class, male _and_ female, had crushes on him, and that wasn’t counting the class next door, the first years, or the third years. Yosuke seemed to like them all back, too, in that weird, _how-are-you-keeping-everybody-happy_ way, dating left and right, and nobody minded, even if a few people complained (very mildly).

“Yo, Yosuke, last night was great. I gotta run to practice now, but want to grab a movie on Friday?” Kou Ichijo, captain of the basketball team, stuck his head in the doorway, and Yosuke, who was sitting with a handful of girls, waved.

“Sounds good, Kou, text me!” 

The other boy waved, and jogged off, and Chie Satonaka - a bubbly brunette who was also one of the best martial artists in school - stuck her lower lip out. “Are you dating Kou now?”

Yosuke laughed. “Nah, it’s just a few dates, we’re not interested in going steady or anything. You jealous, Chie?”

Yukiko Amagi, daughter of the prestigious Amagi family, who owned the best traditional inn in Inaba - and actually within a good 100-mile-radius - giggled as she sat on Yosuke’s desk. “Of course she is. Kou’s the only guy Chie’s interested in more than you, Yosuke-kun.” 

Chie, meanwhile, turned a bit pink. “You already knew the answer, _ass_.”

Souji Seta, who hated Yosuke Hanamura, had finally had enough. He’d been sitting at his desk for a half-hour, trying to study - _fat lot of good studying in the classroom is, why would anyone think a school is for_ learning _?_ \- because it was easier than trying to force his way through the gaggle that _always_ accumulated at Yosuke - golden child, loved by all - Hanamura’s desk. It was clear, however, that he was going to get nowhere, and fast.

He slipped his books and notebook into his bag, stood up, and walked over to the desks. Yosuke - who’d been sitting sideways in his chair, dyed hair perfectly styled, school jacket unbuttoned over a school shirt and pants that fit perfectly, arms crossed, trendy headphones around his collar - looked up, then blinked, and smiled. “Seta, dude, hi.”

Souji didn’t return the smile. He looked pointedly at Yukiko, whose legs were dangling in the aisle. “Please let me pass.”

Yukiko, who really _wasn’t_ trying to get in anyone’s way, jumped up hurriedly and apologized; Souji just nodded and hurried out of the room. They watched him go, and Chie ‘tsk’d’. 

“Jeeze, what’s up with _him?_ He’s got the worst attitude…”

Yosuke shrugged. “Dunno. Social anxiety, maybe. Sucks, but what can you do?” He watched the silver-haired teen turn the corner and disappear down the stairs, then looked back. “Okay, ladies, how about some steak at Junes?”

Chie grinned, throwing her hands in the air. “Steak! Woo-hoo! Your treat!”

“I _know_.” He laughed. “Don’t I always pay when we go out?”

* * *

Souji Seta hated Yosuke Hanamura, _hated_ running into him practically everywhere in town, such a _small_ town, but his uncle was almost always out on the weird serial murder case that had started right before he arrived, and there was no way he’d make _Nanako_ , his six-year-old cousin, do the shopping, but while he always expected to run into Yosuke at Junes, his “kingdom,” he’d never expected to see him _working_ there. 

_Huh. I’d always thought he got all his spending money from Daddy, but maybe Daddy makes him work. That’s something. I guess._

Yosuke actually looked surprisingly mature, standing there in his assistant manager's uniform as he went over a thick stack of invoices with another manager; it wasn’t until he looked up and caught Souji’s eye that the other boy realized he’d been staring; his face darkened and he took a tighter grip on his grocery bags before hurrying out, ignoring Yosuke’s friendly nod and smile.

Staring after him for just a moment, Yosuke shook his head. _I don’t get him. He’s smart, oddly attractive, has great style_ \- the popped collars and brushed cotton jeans might not be _his_ style, but they fit Souji’s frame perfectly - _so what the fuck crawled up his butt and died?_

It wasn’t like he had time to think about it, though. Not with the mystery looming, even now as they tried to figure out what had happened to Kanji, and he _still_ had to work, and Ai kept bugging him about another date, but he was just so _busy_ …

* * *

School kept on, the same monotonous day in, day out, with shitty weather and fog everywhere. Then, suddenly, _Kanji Tatsumi_ , Inaba urban legend, gang-stomper extraordinaire, who _never_ came to school, was showing up in his classroom after class to hang out with Yosuke  & co. _What the hell?_

Souji decided to ignore it - nothing else he could do, right? _At least the guy is coming to school, it's a waste of an education, otherwise_. 

He came down with a cold two days before the school camping trip; it didn’t bother him in the slightest that he wasn't able to go.

* * *

_At least the summer brings better weather_ , Yosuke thought to himself, humming as he meandered along the riverbank. It was one of his very rare off days - even Yosuke sometimes wanted a break from all of the hubbub, from dates and hangouts and the shoulder-wearying work inside the TV, never mind that his personas did most of the fighting (and Jiraya helped keep them all manageable), it was still _exhausting_. He had no plans, and he liked it that way. 

As he came around a bend, he heard giggling and the sounds of playing on the bank ahead; it sounded like a young man and a little girl. They were having fun, and Yosuke smiled. _That’s a nice sound_. It wasn’t particularly intriguing, but he kept walking, figuring it was a family on a picnic, and-

_Hang on…_

From just beyond the picnic shelter, he saw a little girl of about six or seven - brown pigtails, with a white-and-pink sundress - go running across the riverbank, hands full of flowers as she launched herself at a young man, who laughed as he caught her, spinning her around.

“I love you, big bro!” She giggled, hugging his neck, and the silver-haired boy who she’d called ‘big bro’ planted a big kiss on her cheek before spinning her around again. 

“I love you, too, Nanako.” The voice was warm, and gentle, and _holy shit how is that Souji Seta?_ Yosuke could see his face, and if it hadn’t been for his schoolfellow’s unique hair colour and now-familiar fashion choices, Yosuke would never have accused this boy - with bright eyes and curved lips - of being his sullen, withdrawn classmate. 

_Holy shit._

In what probably wasn’t his smartest moment, he turned, heading up the bank towards them. “Seta-san, hey! This your little sister?”

* * *

Nanako was Souji’s weakness. She was so bright and innocent that even his rusted feelings ached whenever she was sad, or when he said something thoughtless that hurt her, and under the excuse that she was, at least, family, and he’d be able to see her again, he slowly let her pry open the locked door to his heart. He kept it locked with everyone else, of course. He liked Dojima-san well enough - respected him - although he wasn’t exactly _fond_ of him, but Nanako… Nanako brought sunshine back into his airless life. 

Going out to the riverbank wasn’t his favourite way to spend an afternoon - he really should be studying, he’d started working on some law textbooks so that he could start early college classes next year - but… _Nanako_. She’d lost her mother years ago, and even if she had friends, there were only so many places a six-year-old could play by herself, safely, especially with the serial murderer on the loose. She wanted to to go the river and pick flowers, and why would Souji say no? He couldn’t. 

He’d just gently sat Nanako back on her feet, his heart lighter than it had been in weeks, when he looked up to see the last person in the world he’d ever want to spend an afternoon with walking towards them. The light feeling immediately vanished.

“Seta-san, hey! That your little sister?”

His stomach immediately wrenched, even before he saw Nanako turn with a smile. _Oh no…_

“Hi!” Nanako, who was usually reserved with strangers, waved. “I know you! You work at Junes!”

Souji wanted to throw up. _Oh no… Nanako_ … he knew how much Nanako loved Junes, and how _happy_ she was, and nice to everyone, and now she was going to fall just as in love with Yosuke as everyone else in this _fucking_ town, and…

Suddenly, he realized they were both looking at him, quizzically, and Nanako was looking worried, and he couldn’t - _couldn’t_ \- disappoint her, so he plastered a ‘no-really-of-course-I’m-not-pretending-I-don’t-hate-you” shell of the most polite smile he could muster on his face and nodded to Yosuke, who gave him a strange look, but then crouched down.

“I’m Yosuke, what’s your name?”

“I’m Nanako!” She smiled. “Do you know big bro?”

“Yeah, we’re-” He looked up and met Souji’s barely-holding-it-together smile and nodded. “We go to school together.” 

She clapped. “Yay! big bro never talks about school.” She stepped back, hugging Souji’s leg, and Yosuke could see at least some of the tension drain out of the boy’s shoulders. 

_Interesting_. Yosuke Hanamura was good at seeing an opportunity and taking it. “You seem to get along well with your bro.”

“Yeah! He’s great! He cooks for me and takes me shopping and helps with the laundry and we watch TV and he helps with my homework _and_ brings me flowers and I _looove_ big bro!”

Souji couldn’t help it. He flushed, and his smile melted into a real one - at least a small one - and he gently stroked Nanako’s hair. “I love you, too, Nanako.” Souji Seta hated Yosuke Hanamura, but for a moment he felt that hatred shift - just a little. Maybe it was just settling, like icebergs do, but either way, he continued to talk. “Her father is my uncle,” he said, quietly. It was the most he’d said at one time to Yosuke, ever.

Nanako - with a smile that was enough to light all of Inaba, not just the riverbank - turned back to Yosuke. “Do you wanna play with us?”

 _I… kinda want to_. But Yosuke wasn’t stupid - Souji might have the best grades, but Yosuke _wasn’t_ stupid, and he had the kind of sixth-sense that helped him so well in the TV world. He knew that as interesting as Souji Seta was turning out to be, the guy hated him, for whatever reason. And even if he was being polite now, well - Yosuke knew when to call a retreat.

“Sorry, can’t.” He brushed his bangs out of his eyes in a familiar gesture that drove every girl in the first and third rows of class insane, and stood up. “Gotta head home, but thanks - maybe later. If you see me at Junes again, come say hi!”

“Okay! I’ll bring big bro! Thanks!”

Souji frowned at this, startled. _Why- oh, right. She can’t go out without me. But…_

Yosuke caught the frown, but just smiled at Nanako. “Bye!”

Nanako waved until Yosuke was out of sight; Souji sat down, heavily, on the picnic bench. Slowly rubbing his fingers over the splintering brown paint, he watched Nanako, his chest heavy.

Finally, she turned back, the same brilliant smile on her face. “You look tired, big bro.” She climbed onto the seat next to him and started to tuck flowers into his hair - something he normally would have carefully avoided, but right now, he _was_ tired.

“You liked Yosuke?” He didn’t speak for a while, and when he did, his voice was hesitant. 

“Yeah! He was nice. I liked his shirt.”

 _His shirt_. Souji actually had to smile a bit at this - it was a band shirt, and it fit the brunette perfectly, but he knew Nanako was just looking at the silly drawing on it. “Would you want to have someone who works at Junes as your big bro?”

 _Oh my god_. Even as he said it, he couldn’t believe his mouth. _What has gotten into me?_

Nanako stopped, looking thoughtful - he knew she wouldn’t realize it was a loaded question, she would answer it honestly, like she did everything. “Are you gonna work at Junes, big bro?”

 _Huh?_ He looked at her, puzzled. “Why would I?”

“Well, you said would I like to have a big bro who worked at Junes…” She looked confused, and suddenly he felt his heart lighten, just a little.

“No, I meant Yosuke.” He was in a mood today, determined to pick at the splinters in his frozen heart even as he picked at the peeling paint on the bench.

“Huh?” She thought again, tucking a daisy behind Souji’s ear, before giggling at the sight. “I dunno. More big bros would be nice, but you’re my REAL big bro!”

She beamed and Souji, remembering the talk they’d had the other night about what “real” meant - that had haunted him until the wee hours - caught his breath even as his heart swelled. 

“You’re my real little sister,” he said softly, stroking her hair. _The only real person in my life_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

Now, Yosuke Hanamura had _two_ mysteries to ponder - serial murders, and Souji Seta. He found himself feeling restless after their meeting by the Samegawa, and after his meandering footsteps led him to Junes, he decided to call everybody out. 

They talked for a bit, and he tried to bring up Souji, but while everybody seemed intrigued, it really didn’t catch their attention like it did his - which, he supposed, was understandable. The TV was really the only thing that they could afford to focus on right now, anyway, and Kanji was worrying at the bit to head into the shadow world, his first time since he’d gotten his glasses. 

The next day, Yosuke wished they’d waited. They usually never went into the TV that late, and it was almost midnight by the time he’d gotten home, and he was pretty sure he’d sprained his shoulder at some point - probably that ridiculous backflip he’d tried - and his parents had chewed him out for missing curfew and _ugh_ he was so fucking _tired_. Maybe he could just sleep-

“-mura? _Mr. Hanamura!_ ”

He found himself jerking awake as Nakayama-sensei stared at him, icily. “Since you’ve decided you know the lesson so well that you can afford a nap, perhaps you can tell us in what period Japan first instituted bonus pay?”

Yosuke stood, dazed, and grasped desperately through his still-tired brain. _Fuck. Just name an era, dumbass, dammit, I may love bonus pay but who the fuck knows_ -

Behind him, something rustled, and he heard a single word, murmured quietly. “ _Meiji_.”

“Meiji!” It had barely registered that it was even actually a legitimate period before he yelped it, and although Nakayama-sensei gave him a dubious look, she nodded. “Correct, Mr. Hanamura.”

Chie and Yukiko gave him stunned looks from the row ahead, and he shrugged, collapsing back into his seat even as he leaned back, just a bit. 

“Thanks, dude,” he mumbled, so quietly that he wasn’t sure Souji would hear it, but he wasn’t going to draw attention - he was starting to realize that was something the other teen hated. 

The grunt he received in return was noncommittal, but it was a _grunt_ , and Yosuke found himself feeling like the day was actually looking up. A lot.

* * *

Souji still wasn’t sure why he’d helped Yosuke. He still hated him, hated the fact that all day, every day, he could smell his cologne as he sat in the row behind the brunette - it was musky and fogged his brain, and that was _another_ reason he couldn’t study in there, that and the perfume from all of Yosuke’s many female admirers. _And the cologne from the boys. Has he no shame?_

He, of course, had been brought up knowing that boys liked girls, girls liked boys, and none of that _really_ mattered, anyway, without the right connections. A shrug. _Not that I care, anyway. Maybe that’s how he gets by, by being shameless_. 

Still, he wasn’t stupid. He knew, really, that he’d helped Yosuke because Yosuke had made Nanako smile - she’d been singing that stupid Junes theme the entire night before, after they went home. _To be fair, she sings that four nights out of seven anyway, but still… She deserves to be happy_.

* * *

Then school ended for the summer, and Souji’s days consisted of taking walks with Nanako, and studying. It was probably coincidence that their walks did _not_ coincide with the time of day they’d originally met Yosuke by the river, but that was okay, because there were cats, and Nanako loved cats, and okay, maybe Souji did, too. Kind of. Although he only fed them for Nanako’s sake.

The next time he ran into Yosuke and had to acknowledge him was towards the end of summer. He’d taken Nanako to Junes - he hadn’t seen Yosuke around for a bit, and assume that he’d be out of town on vacation or something, or at least he _hoped_ \- but no. There was Yosuke, and Chie, and Yukiko, and _what the hell. How does his group get bigger every time I see him?_

Kanji was there, as was a blonde boy- _boy? girl?_ \- and another girl who kind of looked familiar, but Souji didn’t pay attention to pop culture or TV so of course he didn’t know who Rise Kujikawa was, except that he’d probably seen her in a few ads, hence the familiarity. 

Nanako knew who she was, though, and she squeaked. “Risette!” Grabbing Souji’s hand, she pointed. “Big bro, look! Risette!”

The name finally rang a bell, and he squeezed her hand carefully. “That’s nice, Nanako, but it’s rude to just-”

“Hey! Seta! Nanako-chan, hi!”

 _Shit_. Yosuke had seen them, and sensing an opportunity, he leaned over to murmur something quietly to Risette - who had her arm tucked through Yosuke’s - and Risette turned around, a wide smile on her face, and leaned forward. 

“Hi, you must be Nanako-chan!” 

Nanako squeaked again, clinging to Souji’s hand, and although he sighed inwardly, he didn’t dare let it show on his face. “Go ahead, Nanako.” He pushed gently, and after a quick look for his approval, Nanako walked over. 

“Um. Hi! I like you, Risette!”

That was really all it took for the entire group to fall head-over-heels for Nanako. It didn’t surprise Souji, although he couldn’t help feeling jealous and more than a little lonely. 

As if Nanako was a door, however, Souji found the group widening, found himself sitting down, Nanako on one side and the weird blonde boy - _who keeps staring at me, why is he staring at me?_ \- on his other side. He didn’t really interact with anyone, although he could feel the occasional curious glance his way _except for the staring boy_ , and allowed himself to slip into rusty thoughts while Nanako chattered happily to “Rise-chan.”

Suddenly, though, he realized that everyone was staring at him, and a couple of them were snickering, and _what just happened?_

“Big bro brings you flowers, eh?” Chie was looking at him with a raised eyebrow and a grin, and Souji turned _crimson_. 

“Is it weird to give your little sister flowers for a holiday?” His voice was mild and somehow - _somehow_ \- it was the right response, and everyone left him alone again, but he couldn’t slip back into his thoughts, and he found himself feeling more and more antsy. 

The clock saved him, ringing the hour, and he stood. “Nanako, we need to finish shopping for dinner.” 

“Oh right!” She hopped up with a smile, even as the others protested, and took Souji’s hand. “Dad’s coming home early and we’re gonna have curry!” 

“Oooh! Can you make curry, Nanako-chan?” Yukiko smiled even as Chie tried to shush her, and Yosuke snorted.

“Even if she can’t, it’s probably better than _Mystery Food X_.” 

“Shut the hell up, Yosuke!” Chie aimed a punch that he dodged, and Kanji looked green, and Souji and Nanako just watched, nonplussed. 

Well, Souji was nonplussed; Nanako thought it was hilarious, and her laughter triggered everyone else, and suddenly the whole group was laughing, and even Souji smiled, and _holy shit. Souji Seta should smile more often_. 

Yosuke couldn’t help the thought, really. He didn’t have much time to think it, though, before Nanako shook her head. “Anyway, big bro makes curry! It’s really yummy! And he makes omelettes and ginger pork and hamburgers and shoe and kinpira and ..”

“ _Shoe?_ ” Yukiko looked confused, and Rise leaned over. “I think she means _stew_.”

Nanako never got a chance to finish before Souji, crimson again, dragged her away, the little girl waving the whole time. 

They left, and everyone looked at Yosuke. For a second, nobody knew what to say, and Yosuke shrugged. “I know, right?!”

* * *

A week later, Souji Seta _really_ hated Yosuke Hanamura, as he looked at the long row of shoes in the entryway to the Dojimas' house. Yosuke and Yukiko were in the kitchen, arranging slices of watermelon on plates, Nanako was at the table with Rise, Chie, and the staring-boy-whose-name-was-actually-Teddie _and he was still weird_ , and Kanji Tatsumi was sitting on the patio with the door open and for a second, Souji had to step out of sight, hiding in the entryway, just to steady his breathing. 

Clenching his hands into fists, he _almost_ , for the first time, said “screw it” to what was making Nanako happy, he was so mad. _How dare he bring his harem into_ my _house, invade_ my _space, push his fucking happy-fun-time-face into my business, how_ dare _he flaunt his happiness like a fucking trophy_ -

Eyes wide, he suddenly realized just how close he was to losing it. _Jeeze, Souji, he’s not worth it. Why are you letting yourself get so worked up over this?_ Nanako’s laughter floated in from the other room, and he rubbed his face. He wasn’t even jealous about Nanako any more - he knew by now, after a long summer, that the little girl had a heart that could love everyone and still have more than enough room for him, her “real big bro.” 

No, it was the fact that he _didn’t_ have the room, not in _his_ heart. Nanako had her space, and the rest was locked, and he didn’t even have the key. He didn’t want the key. 

_Whatever. I put up with enough obnoxious formal dinners for Father, this is just another event to be gotten through_. Swallowing, looked up - about to go into the kitchen to get some water - when he realized that Yosuke was standing there. 

“You ok, dude?”

Souji almost punched him right there, but he didn’t, he _couldn’t_ , and for one confused moment, he had the urge to sink to the floor and just tell Yosuke everything - his fucked up brain, wretched home life, _everything_ \- 

But he didn’t. He nodded, even if his fake smile wasn’t quite as steady as it had been, and Yosuke wasn’t going to force it. To be honest, he was surprised as hell that this had _worked_ , that Souji hadn’t spit in his face, sent him away - and he was glad.

 _I’m not just doing this for kicks_ , he told himself, irritably. _I wish he’d get that. He’s got the biggest case of lonely that I’ve ever seen, and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to_ try.

That’s what Yosuke Hanamura, golden child of Inaba, beloved by all, _did_. He made other people happy, helped them sort through their demons - _or fight them, in the case of the TV world_ \- and it made him happy, too. 

Besides, Nanako was already everyone’s darling, and _that_ was something he _knew_ they had in common with Souji. _Come on… just a bit closer… you’ll open up to us eventually_.

He wasn’t going to push it, but he wasn’t going to let Souji Seta stagnate, either. Not after seeing that smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **kinpira** \- kinpira gobo, a sauteed/simmered dish consisting of root vegetables, usually burdock root, sometimes lotus, carrots, etc.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 3 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mean to write the summer festival, and I have 0 idea where it came from, and 0 complaints. This whole thing is becoming a long piece of self-indulgence, and I love it. According to my Japanese class, the peony pattern means "wealth, good fortune, honor, daring and masculine bravery" and I totally see that being the kind of thing Souji's parents would make him wear.

“Sorry, Souji, I know this is last minute, but one of the rookies called out, and I promised Nanako that I’d take her to the summer festival…” His uncle’s voice, heavy over the phone, trailed off.

 _Not the most ideal evening, but it’s for Nanako_. “Oh, I’ll take her, don’t worry about that. Just eat something, take a nap if you can. Don’t try to make the whole night through on just coffee.”

“Thanks.” Dojima-san’s voice was grateful, and Souji smiled, just a bit. It was nice to be relied on. 

Nanako was pretty disappointed when she found out that her dad wasn’t going to take her to the festival, but rallied considerably when she found out that ‘big bro’ was going to take her, instead. Her smile made everything all right, and it was under that influence that he agreed to “dress up” with her. 

Even if, seconds later, he found himself balking at the thought. _What if Yo- other people see us?_ He shook his head. “I don’t think I have any festival clothes-”

“Nuh-uh!” Nanako jumped up off the couch - they were sitting in his room - and ran over to his closet. “You brought a yukata, remember!”

 _That’s right_. His mother had insisted he bring it, _just in case_ \- it wasn’t his nicest, but it was nice enough for a formal lunch, which meant it was probably a little _too_ nice for some backwoods-town summer festival, but it was all he had - and Nanako was looking up at him with those big brown eyes, hands clasped together, and he could put up with a little bit of embarrassment for her sake. Especially since she was looking forward to wearing her own yukata.

“All right.” He smiled as her eyes crinkled and she clapped, cheering. When she ran off to start getting dressed - insisting that she could _totally_ do it herself, she just might need help tying it and, um, maybe her hair? - he took his outfit out of the closet, holding it up to the light. _I don’t really want to do this_. 

It was dark charcoal grey, with a muted pattern of lighter grey peonies in a diagonal band - faint enough to only show in the light - and a crimson obi. He knew it looked good on him - his father would allow nothing less when presenting his family on formal occasions - and he was pretty sure neither of his parents would approve of him wearing it to a rural temple festival where it would probably get sticky with shaved ice syrup or takoyaki sauce or _worse_ \- 

Somehow, that made him feel better about wearing it.

* * *

Nanako, of course, looked adorable in her small pink yukata, and although it took him some time, he managed to put her hair up with a few flowers and that just made her smile all the more. Taking her hand, they headed for the temple; he was glad to see that while most people his age were in casual summer outfits, there were a few yukata, a few jinbei. He didn’t stand out as much as he’d worried, although with his height and the careful way he moved - the ‘proper’ way to act while wearing formal clothes had been drilled into him at an early age - he stood out more than he realized. 

He bought Nanako cotton candy, first thing - the bag had her favourite TV show character on it, and she was carrying it carefully, and he knew she’d savour the treat over the next week or more - and then they went over to look at the goldfish. They couldn’t _get_ one, of course - it wasn’t the best idea to bring a pet of any sort home without asking his uncle first - but that was okay, and then they wandered around a little bit.

He’d just finished holding Nanako up to light a stick of incense at the shrine when he heard the last thing he wanted to hear, the one thing he was hoping to avoid. 

“Look! It’s Sou-kun, and Nana-chan!”

* * *

The Investigation Team was wandering through the festival, the girls in yukata and the boys in casual clothes, and they’d just managed to crush Ted’s hope of having the girls to himself when, turning the corner, they saw the last thing Yosuke expected - Souji Seta, dressed in a _really nice_ yukata, like _seriously_ nicer than anyone would expect to see at a festival like this _holy shit_ , holding his little cousin up to light incense. 

Yosuke was always the instigator, the greeter, the person who said hi and opened the group up and brought people together, but suddenly he realized he’d been _staring_ , and that Teddie had already called out to them, using some stupid nickname for Souji that he’d thought up himself, and the look on Souji’s face was one of confusion and embarrassment and a little bit of anger, but there was something else, too, that Yosuke couldn’t pinpoint, and he put Nanako down, helping her fix a fold in her obi before turning to the group.

“Um, hello.” The silver-haired boy’s voice was quiet, as it always was.

Yosuke was glad to see that he at least wasn’t going to run away - he didn’t look that athletic, but he had annoyingly long legs and even though nobody was supposed to be able to run in a yukata, he looked like he was used to wearing them, and probably _could_. The others, Yosuke included, returned his greeting, and Nanako bounced up and down. 

“Ohhhh _wow_ , you guys are _so pretty!_ ” She was staring, wide-eyed, at the girls, and Yosuke was pretty sure that any one of the group would have gladly taken a bullet for Nanako at that second, and then they were complimenting her, too, and nodding to Souji - it was kind of unspoken now that everybody knew that Souji was uncomfortable, but they were trying to make him _more_ comfortable. 

Was it for him? Since when had the rest of the team taken up _his_ job, fixing people and trying to make them happy?

He looked around, but nobody was looking at him, they were all talking, mostly to Nanako, and Yosuke took the chance to nod to Souji again. “Having fun?”

* * *

The question surprised Souji. _How would something like this be_ fun _?_

Then, he looked at Nanako, talking animatedly with Rise while Yukiko admired the flowers in the little girl’s hair, and he nodded, just a little. 

“Don’t know if I’d call it fun, but… it’s okay.”

The brunette smiled, and _why was he always smiling?_ It baffled Souji. He’d met a lot of people who smiled a lot, and it was always fake, because that’s what his father’s line of business _was_. Smile, schmooze, be polite, forget people who weren’t useful, suck up to the ones who were. 

Yosuke’s smiles were anything but fake. They lit up his face, seriously, Yosuke was the _literal_ personification of a ray of sunshine and Souji had _no_ idea how the boy could be happy all the time, but it wasn’t fair, and somewhere deep inside his heart the hinges strained, just a little bit, and it hurt, and he frowned. 

Yosuke, who’d just been thinking, absent-mindedly, that Souji looked like moonlight - both his looks and his demeanor, he always seemed like he wasn’t completely there, was thinking about something else, if Yosuke was more of a sap he might have used the word _ethereal_ \- but then Souji frowned, and his attention snapped back. 

“What’s wrong?”

Suddenly, his concern made Souji feel sick, he wasn’t going to show it, but he wanted to _go_ , and just then Nanako let out a little sigh and squeaky yawn and _thank god_ , he took her hand and nodded to the group. 

“It was good to see you,” he said. His tone was flat, but it was warmer than it had been when he’d said goodbye after the watermelon, so nobody objected. “Say goodbye, Nanako.” 

“G’night.” Nanako gave a sleepy little wave, and Teddie started to whine, but Yosuke grabbed him and put a hand over his mouth.

“Night, guys. See you later.”

 _Not looking forward to it_. Souji was tired, and he was beginning to realize that despite his wishes, he’d gotten tangled up in Yosuke Hanamura’s life - he _hated_ Yosuke Hanamura, it wasn’t _fair_ \- but he was just too tired to fight it, and he nodded, and they left.

* * *

Yosuke watched them leave; the crowd was lighter now, but even if it hadn’t been, Souji’s figure was enough to stand out against the milling throng. Just before the gates they stopped, and Souji crouched down, and Nanako climbed onto his back, and Yosuke could tell she was already asleep, head against his shoulder, by the time they left the temple grounds, and _dammit_ if it wasn’t the cutest thing he’d ever seen. It was almost gross.

When he turned back to see why the rest of the group was so quiet, he found them all looking at him with varying degrees of smirks - or in Rise’s case, a pout - and he held up his hands. “What the- what? Why are you guys looking at me like that?”

“Oh, I dunno, leader.” Chie slugged his shoulder. “Can I have Kou if you’re going to go after Seta-kun?”

“Woah, wait a minute, hold the hell up, it’s not like that!” 

He continued to protest, although not _too_ hard, and everyone dissolved into laughter. He brushed his bangs out of his face, shaking his head. “You guys see it, too, right?”

“Yeah. He’s harder to read than Naoto-kun.” Rise still looked a little put-out, but Yosuke knew it wasn’t _really_ a problem. The mention of Naoto, however, just brought a flush to Kanji’s face and they all remembered that the mystery was over, except was it? And Naoto was still a mystery, and… _ugh_. 

They split up shortly after, going their own ways, and as Teddie and Yosuke wandered home, Teddie babbled, like always, and Yosuke ignored him, like always. 

_Well, if it is over, I’ve got more time to try to draw Souji out of his shell_. A shrug. _And if it’s not_ … 

It wasn’t something he wanted to think about, so he didn’t. 

“Sensei? What’s wrong? Are you lovesick for Sou-kun? Can I have Rise-chan, if you are?”

Yosuke choked. “Hell no, bear, shut up! And don’t make up stupid nicknames for people!”

* * *

The first time Yosuke ran up to Souji on the way into school, Souji almost ignored him. At first, he figured Yosuke was just going to keep running, catch up with one of his many friends or boyfriends or girlfriends, and once he realized he wasn’t, he found he had nothing to say to Yosuke, nothing he wanted to say, nothing he _could_ say. 

He tried to lengthen his stride and get away - he _was_ taller than Yosuke, though only by a little - but Yosuke stubbornly kept right beside him, and it didn’t matter if Souji had nothing to say, because Yosuke talked the entire time. When they got to the school, he was quite aware that people were watching them with some surprise - Souji was, after all, the outcast transfer student, and Yosuke was the Golden Child of Inaba - but he ignored them, just like he tried to ignore Yosuke. 

That didn’t stop him from hearing some of the whispers. Most of them were innocuous. “ _Since when did they become friends?_ ” or “ _Yosuke’s so cute! He’s so nice!_ ” or “ _Never expected_ that.”

Or, “ _Wow, is Yosuke dating the transfer student now?_ ”

That last whisper was why his face was a stormcloud the next morning, when Yosuke ran to catch up with him, yet again.

“Please leave me alone.”

Yosuke didn’t flinch - to be honest, he’d expected something of the sort. He was surprised Souji hadn’t turned him away the day before, so he didn’t let it faze him. He just nodded. “Can do. See ya!” and with a wave and a sprint, headed to school ahead of Souji.

Souji felt a little guilty, but was it over his treatment of Yosuke, or Yosuke's easy acceptance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **yukata** \- festival outfit, for men or women; a long gown-like outfit with traditional patterns  
>  **obi** \- a band of cloth used to tie a yukata  
>  **takoyaki** \- fried dough balls with octopus  
>  **jinbei** \- festival outfit, usually for men, with a baggy tied top and shorts or short pants; made from traditional cloth, summer wear


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 4 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I don't know where half of these chapters are coming from. Stupid dorks.

He found, the next morning, that he needn’t have felt guilty at all. Yosuke ran right up to him, again, with the same “Morning, dude!”

Souji just blinked at him, and his speechlessness caused him to miss the politeness window of opportunity to tell him to _go away_ , so he just turned his gaze back to the front and continued to walk. He knew better, this time, than to try to outpace Yosuke, who would just keep up with him; he wasn’t sure where the brunette got his endurance and energy from, but Souji was not an athlete, even if he kept himself in shape, and he wasn’t interested in running anywhere.

The walk repeated itself much like the one at the beginning of the week; Souji was silent, Yosuke talked incessantly, but this time, Souji heard some of what Yosuke was saying, even if it was mostly inane, about the weather, or the summer, or random town gossip. It wasn’t by choice, he just was having more trouble blocking it out that morning. 

He soon found that while Yosuke would give him space any time he asked - and he did, as often as he could - he was going to try to walk with Souji every morning, and Souji was going to have to tell him off to get him to stop - something the silver-haired boy was reluctant to do. Even if he hated Yosuke Hanamura, he’d never been one to enjoy confrontations. _Nor am I enough of a dick to try to cause trouble at school_.

Therefore, he endured it, and one morning, he actually found himself responding to a question Yosuke asked him - it was unexpected, because Yosuke hadn’t _been_ asking him questions up until that point, he’d just talked, and somehow, Souji had grown used to it. The question was about Nanako, so Souji answered without realizing it, and when he _did_ realize it, he merely stiffened and looked ahead, never mind the faint flush dusting his cheeks. 

Yosuke was smart enough not to react, not to that. He just nodded at the response, and kept talking. Inside Souji’s heart, the iceberg shifted again.

The next day, Souji managed to chase Yosuke off before the shorter boy had even stepped up next to him; he spent his walk to school in an uncomfortable cloud of frustration. _Why am I letting him_ get _to me like this?_ Souji Seta was a very logical boy - logic was all he had, and it was his rock and foundation, and he wasn’t stupid. He was oblivious, but he wasn’t stupid.

He had no answers for himself, but finally, he came to a realization. _I don’t understand him, and I don’t know how he manages, so maybe I should learn. That’s what you do, when you don’t understand something - you study it. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt for me to learn how to put on the kind of front Yosuke has… I’m sure Father would be proud. Genial people always get along better._

* * *

The next day, when Yosuke ran up beside Souji with his cheerful and customary “Morning, dude!” Souji half-turned his head and nodded, although he didn’t respond. It was all Yosuke could to not to drop his satchel, but he didn’t, he just quashed the swelling happiness - _seriously, dude, he nodded at you, that’s not even a good morning_ \- and pretended it was just another day.

The morning walk became a habit, and while Souji never actually _talked_ to Yosuke - certainly, he responded to questions, but never conversed - he _listened_. He learned about Yosuke’s family, his neighbour's dog, his favourite bands, his favourite movies, the best places in Inaba to get steak - courtesy of Chie, apparently. None of it was especially revelatory, and none of it was confidential -something Yosuke would have only told a friend, or a close friend - but it made Souji feel odd, as if he were a voyeur, watching someone else’s life unfold. He didn’t even watch television, except with Nanako, and the sensation was strange.

* * *

Several days later, he was walking with Yosuke - still listening, and not talking - when Kanji came running up, falling into step with them. “Senpai, hey!”

It was a bit of a shock when Souji realized Kanji was talking to both of them, not just Yosuke. 

Yosuke answered cheerfully, and the two of them talked for a bit while Souji walked beside them, feeling oddly like part of the conversation, even though he had no stake in it. Suddenly, talk turned to the upcoming exams, and Kanji groaned.

“I been tryin’, senpai, honest, but the stuff they’re going over in math… I don’t get it at all.” 

Yosuke laughed. “Not surprised, bro. What’s the topic?”

Kanji told him, and Yosuke thought for a bit, and then started to explain it. 

Incorrectly.

Souji couldn’t even stand a full four sentences before he shook his head. “You’re going to mess him up completely,” he said, frowning. “That’s not it at all. What you need to remember is-”

Yosuke could only stare while Souji started to explain the math concept that had been confusing Kanji - perhaps not as well as a tutor would have, and _damn_ the guy looked as stiff and uncomfortable as a board - but well enough that Kanji’s face brightened, and by the time they reached Yasogami High, he was exuberant. When he dashed off to class, Yosuke turned to Souji, an odd look on his face. 

“Dude, you know… exams _are_ coming up…”

* * *

_I. Hate. Yosuke. Hanamura_. Souji sat at a table at Junes as most of the Investigation Team - which he only knew of as Yosuke Hanamura’s misfit harem - caroused around him, studying forgotten. Kanji wasn't there - he was a grade lower, and was completely uninterested in what the second years were studying, and had to work at home, anyway - but Rise was there, not liking to be left out of anything “Senpai” was doing. Souji wasn’t even talking any more, although he did admit that Yukiko had tried to listen to him - before getting distracted by Chie - and he just sat, hands gripped into fists as he wondered why he’d agreed to anything so ridiculous in the first place. 

The easy answer was “because Yosuke had suggested he could bring Nanako to play with Teddie,” and for some reason Nanako was enamoured of the strange boy, and Souji _had_ been busy with schoolwork enough that he felt guilty about leaving her alone so often, so he agreed. The not-so-easy answer was that Yosuke had looked at him with that bright, _hopeful_ gaze, and for the first time, someone had _needed_ him, and he acquiesced. 

For once, it wasn’t Teddie causing trouble - Teddie and Nanako were sitting at a table nearby, talking up a storm, and that didn’t bother Souji in the slightest. The cacophonous din surrounding him was giving him a headache, however, and at last, he reached his breaking point. Snapping his notebook shut, he stood up, and everyone at the table suddenly stilled. 

“Forgive me for interrupting your valuable _study_ time,” he said, his voice dripping with annoyance and disdain. “If you’ll excuse me.” 

Everyone at the table exchanged guilty glances as Souji stalked away, sitting down at a table far enough across the court that he could keep an eye on Nanako without having to listen to their rowdiness as he studied. 

Yosuke felt a grimace twist its way onto his face. _Dammit, dammit! I’d really hoped we could make this work, I thought it’d give him the chance to open up, and everybody would get something out of it, and they’d appreciate that he helped them, and he’d feel good about helping them, and maybe it would be a bonding moment. And now_ … He felt all of the good-will he’d been slowly building with his classmate vanishing, and it hurt. 

Next to him, Rise dropped her head. “I’m sorry, senpai,” she mumbled quietly, and everyone around the table nodded, staring down at their laps. 

“Argh.” He stood up. “You guys… just do whatever.” He grabbed his notebook and soda and everyone blinked as he hurried across the food court.

* * *

“Um, hey. Sorry about that.”

Souji looked up to see Yosuke standing at his table; he immediately turned his attention back to the textbook. He wasn’t going to give Yosuke _anything_ to work with, but Yosuke expected it - and to be honest, didn’t really blame him. 

“Dude, I’m sorry. My friends are assholes, and I really _did_ want to study, and…” He chewed his lip. “Can I still join you?” _Smooth, Yosuke. Real fucking smooth, like Yukiko’s omelets_. 

For a minute, Souji stared at his notebook. _I just. Want. To go. Home_. But he had to admit to himself that Yosuke hadn’t been the worst of the group, and he actually _had_ tried to listen to Souji, and if Souji went home right now he’d be taking Nanako away from her surprisingly-well-behaved playdate, and _well… if Yosuke actually wants to study_...

Finally looking up again, he nodded, pulling his math workbook back out as Yosuke hid a grin and dropped into the chair opposite. “Ok, so I get limits, kinda, but this hospital rule really confuses me, and I don’t even know if I’ve got the stupid thing memorized right, so would you-”

A pause as he looked up, and realized that Souji was laughing. 

It wasn’t really a laugh, not to anyone who didn’t know Souji Seta. But for Yosuke Hanamura, who’d been chasing after Souji’s frozen heart for months now - even if he didn’t realize it yet himself - it was a goddamn _miracle_ , and his jaw dropped. 

“W-what?” He was flustered, and Souji had never seen Yosuke flustered before, and for some reason, it actually made his quiet chuckle turn into a full-blown smile. Luckily for Yosuke's dignity, he responded before the brunette could fall out of his chair.

“L’hôpital’s rule,” he said. “It’s French, originally published by Guillaume de l'Hôpital, although most people believe that it was originally discovered by Johann Bernoulli.”

Yosuke flushed. “Um, okay, Nakayama-sensei never said anything about that, but cool, cool. You don’t think that’ll be on the test, do you?”

Souji smiled again. “Doubtful. Let’s stick with learning the rule itself, shall we?”

The brunette nodded, looking hard at his papers for long enough to compose his thoughts. “Let me guess, you totally speak French, too.” He already knew Souji was a whiz in English class.

“Yes?” Souji looked puzzled. “I’m better at Latin, though.” 

With an exasperated mental _of course he is_ , Yosuke leaned in to listen to Souji’s careful - if still a bit wooden - tutoring session, and before too long, shadows materialized next to the table. 

The air dropped several degrees as Souji finished an explanation about indeterminate forms, then looked up. “Yes?” 

Yukiko was holding her notebook, and Chie was behind her. “I’m sorry, Seta-san.” Yukiko looked very distraught, and Chie frowned.

“No, I’m sorry, it was _my_ fault. Could we… join you?” 

“Rise-chan said she’s going to play with Teddie and Nanako-chan,” Yukiko added, her voice anxious.

Yosuke looked at Souji, who frowned, but then nodded. “If you think you’ll get anything out of it.” 

“We will, thank you!” Chie’s response was hurried as she dropped into the chair between Souji and Yosuke, and Yukiko sat opposite Chie so that they were spaced evenly around the table. Even as Yosuke felt a _smidge_ of regret at the loss of solo study time, his gratitude - to Souji _and_ to his friends - was stronger.

* * *

Yukiko did end up having a giggling fit once more, while they were studying, but it was short-lived, and they were able to get through enough material that Souji found himself feeling less-than-utterly-annoyed over it. It wasn’t until the intercom crackled, announcing the afternoon’s fresh produce deal, that they realized how late it was. He looked up. 

“I’ve got to go. I need to get home and make dinner, and Nanako has homework.”

He’d just called to Nanako, looping his school bag over his shoulders, when Yosuke walked around the table. “Hey. Thanks.”

Souji looked up, eyebrows raised, and nodded. “Yeah. Don’t mention it.”

Yosuke nodded in return, and the two stood there while they waited for Nanako to throw away her empty drink cup, and somehow it almost felt warm - _companionable_ , although Souji had never experienced that particular sensation before. The hatred shifted again - it was pretty clear by now that the iceberg wasn’t settling, it was melting, but Souji Seta was as stubborn as he was logical, and he ignored it.

* * *

They parted, and he was cooking dinner for Nanako later that evening - slicing burdock root while mirin and soy simmered on the stove - when she looked up from her homework. “Your friends are awesome, big bro!”

 _Friends?_ The word startled him so badly that the knife slipped and he cut his finger - just the tip - and the next ten minutes were spent frantically searching for the first aid kit while he tried to calm Nanako down and then dinner was late, and it wasn’t until he was back in his room after having tucked Nanako in for the night that he had a chance to slump onto his couch, staring at the ceiling. 

_Friends? I don’t have friends. They’re not my friends - since when does spending time with other people at their insistence, when you’d rather be anywhere else, make them_ friends _?_ His finger ached, and so did his heart, and he wished he’d never taken _stupid Yosuke Hanamura_ up on his _stupid_ offer to study, and it was midnight before he realized he was still sitting on his couch, staring up at the ceiling fan, and he turned it off and climbed into his futon and the throbbing pain in his finger kept him up far later than he should have been awake, given that there was class in the morning. 

At least, he _told_ himself it was the pain in his finger.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 5 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realize that I kind of have the timing of some events off, but as this is an AU, I'm not so worried. I've also been trying to find the right mix of translations and actual Japanese words, so if it gets too much or seems jarring (as with the foodstuffs) let me know.

Souji missed his alarm the next morning, only waking up when Nanako crept into his room.

“Big bro? Are you sick?”

 _Just tired as hell_. He reassured her that he was ok, crawling out of bed, and skipped breakfast so that he could get ready and make it to school on time. 

The uncomfortable thoughts from the night before were muted now, and he was tired enough that he couldn’t really get enough energy to feel as angry, or as down. Strangely enough, he felt like he’d slept well, in the few hours he _had_ gotten to rest. _Not like I had any particularly good dreams, but I expected to have some nightmares_. 

Wasn’t that what always happened to people who lay awake chasing impossible thoughts? Maybe the rain last night had helped him sleep. He’d always liked rain.

* * *

The road to school was nearly empty, as he’d left at the last possible moment to make it without being late, and he had to jog the last stretch to make it in, dropping into his seat with an exhausted huff just before the final bell. He got a few strange looks, though less than he’d expected, and miraculously, Yosuke didn’t ask what was up, even though it was the first morning Souji had ever been nearly late to school. He actually looked a bit tired, himself. 

Yosuke saw Souji come in and he felt more relieved than he realized he would. _Calm down, dude, it’s not like you don’t know that was Naoto last night on TV_. He’d been worried, though, given that King Moron had been an aberration in the patterns, and, well… he was relieved to see Souji, even if Souji looked like hell. 

Knowing what he did about the silver-haired teen, he didn’t comment on the ‘look like hell’ part, however. He just nodded. “Morning, dude.” Souji grunted at him, but it wasn’t an _angry_ grunt, it was more like a tired, resigned, and _oookay since when did I become such an expert?_

The morning passed as innocuously as any morning could with Kashiwagi as their homeroom teacher; finally, lunchtime rolled around and the students scattered, as was their wont. Yosuke didn’t usually head up to the roof to eat, but Chie and Yukiko were cramming in some study time, since they’d all be busy in the TV that afternoon (he hoped), Kanji was downstairs probably having a panic attack over Naoto, and Rise had skipped out to go check out the TV with Teddie. He was tired, and frustrated, and _what the hell, Naoto_. Everybody was pissed off that the boy had been so cryptic the last time they’d seen him, and that he’d done something so dangerous. 

He poked tiredly at his cup noodles. Usually he’d have something from the convenience store - curry, or katsu, or something - but he’d been too busy and there hadn’t been anything worth grabbing when he finally left Junes last night, after an unexpected late-evening shift. 

Suddenly, he heard a voice above him, the tone dry. “If you don’t like them, why are you eating them?”

* * *

Souji hadn’t expected to find Yosuke on the roof - the brunette was usually off with his standard group of friends, or the guys from the sports teams, or music club - _what instrument does he play, anyway?_ \- or, well, half the school. Yet, here he was, sitting in the spot where Souji usually came to be alone, and Souji felt angry at the intrusion, but then - _jeeze. He looks exhausted_. He knew that if Yosuke had been waiting for him, he’d have looked up, and waved, and smiled, and it was _really weird_ to see him looking so… off. He was staring at his instant noodles as if they were the most disappointing things in the world, and for some reason, Souji found it to be kind of funny.

“If you don’t like them, why are you eating them?”

He sat, gingerly, on the ledge - not _next_ to Yosuke, but nearby, as the other boy looked up in surprise. “Because they were out of curry?” He looked around, suddenly realizing that this was a quiet corner of the roof, and _shit, I probably stole his lunch spot_. He sat up a bit, trying to scoot over so that Souji had room to sit and not be uncomfortable. “Sorry, dude. I guess I took your spot.”

Souji just shrugged, opening up his bento. He hadn’t been paying attention that morning when he shoveled leftovers haphazardly on top of his rice, and he’d brought way too much. _I guess missing breakfast skewed my perception_. 

“Don’t worry about it.” He looked at his bento, and then at Yosuke, who was looking back at his noodles and trying not to sniff the air, and then held the box out. “Want some?”

Yosuke, who really _had_ been trying to hold himself back, looked up, surprised, and Souji shook the box, just once. “It’s shogayaki. I brought too much.”

The smile that lit the brunette’s face was like sun coming out from behind the clouds, and Souji had an odd feeling that _this is better, it’s weird to see him looking so down_. “Sure, dude, thanks!” Yosuke grabbed a piece with his chopsticks, ate it, and raised both eyebrows. 

“Holy crap this is fantastic, no wonder Nanako can’t stop bragging about big bro’s cooking!” 

Souji flushed and jerked the box back. “If you’re going to be an ass about it-”

 _Are we actually… joking around?_ Yosuke laughed. “Hell no, dude, it really is great. Gimme some more!” 

Finding himself feeling oddly warm inside - warm enough to melt ice - Souji sat the bento on the ledge between them. Being very careful to make sure there were no embarrassing cases of touching chopsticks or anything of the sort, the two slowly ate their way through the meal. 

Once the box was empty, Yosuke leaned back against the big pipe behind him and stretched. “Dude, that was amazing. You even made kinpira and nasu dengaku! I haven’t eaten that well in a long time. Mom never has time, and usually I just end up with something from the convenience store that’s either defrosted or has been sitting there for two days.”

“Nanako loves kinpira,” Souji said. “I like nasu.” A shrug as he looked at the empty box. He’d been expecting Dojima to be home more, now, since that weird murder case was solved, but the detective was still out almost every night, so it had just been him and Nanako every dinner. This was by no means something he disliked, but he found himself thinking about the nabe they’d planned for that evening as he counted the few grains of rice clinging to the corners of the bento box. 

“Hey, is everything okay?” 

Yosuke’s voice snapped him out of his reverie and he looked up. “Do you like yosenabe? I picked up some crab yesterday, and we were going to have hot pot tonight, and I don’t think Dojima-san is going to be home, he’s never home any more, so it’s just me and Nanako.”

 _Is he inviting me over for dinner?_ Yosuke couldn’t believe what he was hearing. _Holy shit, of course I do and oh_ fucking hell _oh goddammit_. He’d forgotten, just for now, about Naoto, and that made him feel guilty as hell in two different ways because now… _dammit. For all the days for Souji Seta to finally show some sort of interest in hanging out_ … 

_I just invited him over for dinner, how is that a difficult question?_ The silver-haired boy watched, bemused, as the entire possible range of human emotions seemingly tripped across Yosuke’s face, one after another. _I can’t imagine he’s ever able to keep a secret_.

Yosuke sighed, rubbing his neck as he looked up. “Dude, I have to work tonight. I’m gonna have to pass, I’m sorry…” Anxiously, he watched the other boy’s face.

 _Oh. Yeah, I should have figured that_. Souji found himself feeling a little relieved, a little disappointed - _wait, disappointed?_ \- and a little embarrassed. Then, he found himself feeling something he’d never expected - concern. 

“You look really tired, you said you pulled a late shift, and you have to work again tonight? Don’t they know that class is back in?”

_I………………_

If you’d told Yosuke Hanamura that morning that Souji Seta was going to make a concerned comment worrying - even a _little_ \- about his health after sharing a bento and inviting him to come over for dinner, Yosuke would have laughed and told you to wake up, it was almost time for school and with exams around the corner, he couldn’t afford to be late. 

Hence why his brain was stuck in a loop of _do not comprehend_.

Surprisingly enough, however, the charismatic Yosuke Hanamura was really good at covering awkward moments (and, despite Souji’s earlier assumption, was pretty good at lying - or just not telling the truth - else he’d be an awful leader for the Investigation Team) and he just snorted.

“Dude, _I wish_. You want to have a talk with them? Go ahead. But thanks, man. Really.” He gave Souji a heartfelt smile. “Not that I’m trying to be greedy here, but that was a damn good lunch and any other evenings you think you’re going to need help eating dinner, well… just let me know, and let me know what to bring over. Maybe a dessert Nanako-chan would like.”

“Oh.” Souji found himself caught off-guard by this; he’d never invited anyone to hang out before, he hadn’t even thought about anything past that night, and even though _Logic_ was trying to set off warning bells in his mind, they were drowned out by the crack of ice as his heart - still caged - shed its frozen shell. “Yeah.” 

He gave a faint smile, one that Yosuke was beginning to realize was the biggest smile anyone except Nanako ever got and _hell, that’s more than he’s given anybody else at this school, I’d guarantee it. Except maybe the teachers_. Teachers didn’t count, and Yosuke found himself feeling a little smug. The bell rang, and Yosuke grabbed his now-cold, half-eaten cup noodles and jumped up. 

“Anyway, thanks again, Seta. For lunch and for the invite.” Giving a half-wave, he dashed downstairs to hit the restroom before class started back up.

Souji watched him run off as he put the lid slowly onto his bento box, tucked it into his bag, and headed back to the classroom. 

_Is it the lack of sleep?_ He was doing a lot of stupid things today, things that weren’t like him at all, and… he found himself just not caring.

* * *

Yosuke stood in front of the Junes bakery, trying to decide between chocolate eclairs and strawberry shortcake. The afternoon had been a bust - despite all their prep, their running around town, Rise’s hours in the TV (which kind of worried Yosuke, that she might force herself until she collapsed) - and they’d called it off without being able to do a thing about Naoto, and now he was pretty sure he was going to do something dumb, or at least stupid, or maybe ridiculous, but… 

_Hell no, Souji Seta_ invited me to his house _and I’m smart enough to know that’s a one-of-a-kind chance and the sun hasn’t even set yet so it’s not like I’m crashing his dinner or whatever_. He chewed on his lip. _Besides, I’ve done a lot more really obnoxious stuff and he hasn’t punched me yet, so hey_.

* * *

The doorbell rang as Souji was slicing renkon for the nabe. The clay pot, filled with chicken and crab and kikuna and enoki, was already simmering on the small gas stove on the living room table (he could have cooked it in the kitchen, but Nanako liked to watch it bubble.) He looked up, puzzled; behind him, Nanako popped her head up from where she was watching TV. “It’s still light outside, can I answer the door?”

“Go ahead, but you know the rules.” _It’s probably a package for Dojima-san, or something_. He wasn’t worried. He certainly wasn’t expecting to hear Nanako exclaim-

“It’s Yosuke, hi!!” 

_Yosuke? What happened to work?_ Too startled to feel anything other than surprise, his “son of a diplomat” training kicked in and he called out, “Come on in. It’s ok, Nanako, I invited Yosuke for dinner.”

“Really? _Yay!_ ” Nanako sounded thrilled - which was more than enough to make any weird feelings go away (for the moment) - and he heard Yosuke chuckle. 

“Glad to see you, too, Nanako-chan. I hope you like strawberry shortcake, cuz I brought some for dessert.”

A gasp. “I _loooove_ strawberries!”

Souji walked out from the kitchen, carrying half a renkon and a santoku knife, and nodded to Yosuke - the gesture was friendly, even if he wasn’t smiling. “Well, you’ve got her adoration for life. Come in. Nanako, will you put the cake in the fridge?” 

“Yep!” She took the container carefully and bounced into the kitchen, and Yosuke smiled, taking his shoes off. 

“Sorry about showing up randomly, but I didn’t have any way to text you, and it turns out I wasn't needed any more, so…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Can I do anything to help?”

Souji shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, make yourself at home. I’m just going to finish this up.” He held up the half-sliced root. “Rest of the nabe is already simmering.”

“It smells amazing, dude. What mix do you use- _what?_ ” He stopped when Souji looked back at him, almost looking offended. _Oh shit what did I do, what the hell_ -

“Of course I don’t use a mix.” The scandalized tone in Souji’s voice was so out-of-place with what Yosuke knew of the silver-haired boy that he couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Sorry! I should have known you’d do all your cooking by scratch.” He wandered into the kitchen behind Souji, standing by the table. 

“Not exactly.” Souji sighed. “I never really have time to make _good_ tonkotsu broth.” 

_So, Souji likes to cook. I could have guessed that, from Nanako-chan’s comments, but it’s fun to find out first-hand._

As Souji finished up the renkon, Yosuke realized he’d changed out of his school uniform into something casual, and while it wasn’t nearly as stylish as his regular clothes, it somehow still managed to look good. All grey and black, of course. _Guy needs to get some coloured shirts, jeeze_.

* * *

After about an hour of small talk - and by small talk, it meant that Yosuke talked a little bit, Nanako talked a _lot_ , and Souji asked Yosuke what he wanted to drink - they were finally sitting around the steaming pot of yosenabe while Souji carefully filled Nanako’s bowl with the pieces she pointed out. Nanako got to pick first, of course, and neither teen saw reason to complain. 

After a chorus of “Itadakimasu!” they all started to eat. It was quiet for a bit, once the chorus of “this is _so good_ , big bro!” and “No kidding, thanks for the meal!” was out of the way, and Souji found himself focused on his bowl.

Not because he was hungry - he wasn’t _not_ hungry, he just wasn’t ravenous - but because he’d never really had a friendly meal with someone his own age that wasn’t somehow familial or to please his father, and this was different from the roof because there wasn’t going to be a lunch bell and _what do you do when this kind of thing happens?_ If he’d known Yosuke was going to come over, he could have psyched himself up - _or more likely turned him away_. Souji was at least _that_ self-aware.

After a bit, though, he realized that Yosuke was just as focused on his own meal, and he looked tired, and a bit preoccupied. 

“Something wrong?” The words slipped out before he knew it, and suddenly he wondered _why_ he was prying into Yosuke’s business, but then Yosuke looked up at him with a surprised expression, and Souji shrugged. “You look tired. It’s no big deal, though.”

Yosuke felt a bit dazed at the question - _I thought I was hiding this shit about Naoto pretty well_ \- but then he shrugged. “Friend problems. None of us have seen Naoto for a few days and we’re worried about him.”

“Naoto… Shirogane?” Souji raised an eyebrow. _That’s right. I remember seeing them all out eating ramen that last day on the school trip_. 

“Yeah, little first-year dude, everybody calls him the detective prince.” He looked a bit surprised. “You know him?” _Oh, right. Dojima-san_. 

“Yeah, he’s come over once or twice to see my uncle. Not for a few weeks, though. They had a pretty big argument the last time he was here.”

“Really?” If Yosuke had cat ears, they would have perked at this, and he knew it, but _dammit_ they were out of leads. “I thought he was in good with the police?”

Souji shrugged. “I don’t know. He was quite insistent that the murder case they just wrapped up wasn’t wrapped up, or something?” A shrug. “Dojima-san told him to drop it, he was too obsessed, and then Adachi-san said something about going back to school like a good kid and Naoto stormed out. Not that I would have blamed him. Adachi’s a bit of an ass.”

 _You’re telling me_. Yosuke had had more than a few run-ins with the guy, although they’d started getting along okay by this point. _But wait… that means_ …

He sat there, lost in thought, and Souji looked back at his nabe, feeling uncomfortable. “Sorry. I hope you find your friend, soon.” 

“Huh-?” Yosuke looked a bit startled, then realized that Souji was poking at his nabe with his chopsticks much as Yosuke himself had been doing with his ramen at lunch, and Souji’s voice had actually been _small_ when he said it, and _wait. Wait wait wait wait. Wait. What was that?_

As if determined not to indulge his curiosity, however, Souji just looked back up, and the oddly-lost look was gone, and he nodded. “I hope you find him. Have you checked with his grandfather? Last I heard, he lived somewhere around here.”

“Y-yeah, dude, that’s a good idea. Thanks.” 

It took a few minutes for Yosuke to file everything away and fall back into his normal charisma - Nanako had been watching TV and ignoring them both, as she usually did when she knew the conversation was For Grownups - and somehow he managed to salvage the rest of the evening.

It wasn’t particularly special - they finished the meal, ate dessert (Souji ended up with whipped cream on his nose, and he’d managed to wipe it off, surreptitiously, except that Yosuke had absolutely seen it and had somehow managed _not_ to give away that he had and was probably going to remember the look of secret embarrassment on Souji’s face for the rest of his life). Once they’d finished, Yosuke had convinced Souji - or rather, Nanako - to let him help with the dishes, and Souji had stood in the kitchen, looking lost without anything to do while Yosuke kept up the idle conversation, and then it was time for Yosuke to head home. 

Souji stood at the door, Nanako’s arm around his leg, as Yosuke turned back and waved. “Thanks again for the food, it was great! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Yeah, no problem.”

Closing the door behind him, he looked at Nanako, who was singing the Junes theme while she went back to drying the dishes. She looked up and smiled. 

“That was fun! Can we do it again?”

Souji looked back at the door. For a second, his locked heart strained against its hinges; now that most of the ice was gone, it was much more fragile. 

“Yeah. Yeah, we can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **katsu** \- panko-breaded, fried cutlets; usually pork or chicken, sometimes ham, fish, or other meats  
>  **bento** \- a box used to pack a lunch, and take to school or work  
>  **shogayaki** \- fried soy/ginger pork  
>  **kinpira** \- kinpira gobo, a sauteed/simmered dish consisting of root vegetables, usually burdock root, sometimes lotus, carrots, etc.  
>  **nasu dengaku** \- miso-baked eggplant  
>  **nasu** \- eggplant  
>  **yosenabe** \- seafood hotpot  
>  **nabe** \- nabemono, "things in a pot" - hotpot, different ingredients simmered in broth  
>  **renkon** \- lotus root  
>  **kikuna** \- chrysanthemum leaves  
>  **enoki** \- thin mushrooms  
>  **santoku** \- a general-purpose kitchen knife  
>  **tonkotsu** \- pork bone broth, frequently used in ramen  
>  **itadakimasu** \- an expression used before eating, 'thank you for the food'


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 6 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I never intended Souji to play the violin, but it just... fit so well, and gave him something more than just resentment and loneliness, and will fit in really well with what I want for the ending. Plus, I really have a thing for lanky, silver-haired guys who play violin so... I guess it was inevitable.

The next morning, Souji was walking to school as usual - having actually slept well, although he realized that it was more than likely due to the fact that he’d been so tired from the night before - when he heard the familiar pattern of running feet followed by Yosuke’s usual “Morning, dude.” 

“Morning.”

It wasn’t the friendliest greeting, but it was the first time he’d verbally responded to Yosuke, who just grinned. “Thanks again for the food last night!”

Souji looked around, hesitantly, hoping nobody else heard it, given the whispers he’d heard the first time they’d walked to school together. Yosuke caught the glance, knew what it meant, and internalized the sigh. _One thing at a time. Jeeze, it’s not like I don’t have friends, people don’t assume I’m dating_ everybody _I hang out with_ …

He merely smiled, dropping the subject; things were quiet for a bit.

Finally, Souji looked over. “Have you heard from Naoto?”

A hint of worry flickered across Yosuke’s face, but he shook his head. “No, but it was kinda too late last night to check, you know?” _Not that I didn’t call Rise, and Kanji_. “I’m pretty sure we’ll have it sorted out this afternoon, thanks.”

Souji just nodded, not sure what else to say, and they continued to school.

* * *

Souji grew used to greeting Yosuke each morning, but it was nearly a week before he found Yosuke still sitting at his desk when lunch rolled around - probably a good thing, as it gave the taller boy a chance to grow more accustomed to _not hating_ Yosuke Hanamura. 

They’d finished exams that morning, and Yosuke just looked tired. A moment’s hesitation, then Souji tapped his bento quietly against Yosuke’s seat. “I made too much stew, if you’re interest-”

“Hell yeah!” Yosuke’s head shot up and Souji winced at how _loud_ he was and _wasn’t he just lying face down on his desk, complaining that his brain was mush?_ Still, he didn’t find it as annoying as he might have, other than for the potential for someone to overhear and think they were planning a lunch date. 

“It’s cloudy, but shouldn’t rain, I’m going up to the roof.” He stood up, and Yosuke - who looked like he’d prefer to eat in the classroom but wasn’t going to complain - followed behind. Minutes later, they were contentedly munching as Yosuke regaled Souji with stories from the previous week of Junes work.

As the brunette dug the last rice out of the corners of the box with his chopsticks - Souji hadn’t really minded, he was never hungry enough to finish a whole meal himself, _although why he felt he needed to give me puppy-dog eyes in order to claim the last few bites I have no idea_ \- the silver-haired boy sat back, leaning against the stone balustrade with a sigh as he raised his eyes to the sky.

Yosuke followed his gaze upwards, his thoughts hazy - he wasn’t stupid, and he’d actually gotten a lot of out of Souji’s study session, but they’d been so _busy_ in the TV and exams _sucked_ \- and then it occurred to him that the sky was the same colour as Souji’s eyes. _Not something I should be focusing on right now, though_. It was a bit of a regretful thought, but it wasn’t like Yosuke didn’t have enough on his mind. 

“Seta, dude, thanks.”

“You can call me Souji, you know.” He was still looking at the clouds. 

Yosuke raised an eyebrow at this, breaking into a grin. “Sure.” A pause. “Souji.”

“Yes?” Souji finally looked at him. “What?”

“Huh? No, I was just saying your name.”

Souji gave him an annoyed look. “I was _going_ to ask if you were working today, but if you’re going to be an ass about it-”

With a laugh, Yosuke closed the bento box. “Oh no you don’t, dude. I am 100% free today, since clubs were cancelled for exams, and I’m not playing in the next orchestra event, anyway.”

“What do you play?” Souji busied himself with slipping his bento box into his bag, and Yosuke sensed that even with everything that was new between the two of them, there was something more in that question. 

Keeping an eye on Souji’s face, he shrugged.

“Trumpet. There’s not a huge variety, here. I prefer guitar, but there’s no room for something like that in a high school orchestra, you know?”

“Ah.” 

The reply wasn’t much, but there was more interest on Souji’s face than Yosuke had seen before, so he snapped his fingers. “I got it! I’ll run home and grab my guitar, and we can hang out before dinner.” Souji’s face went blank at this, but Yosuke grinned. “Come on, dude, it’ll be fun.”

 _I… fun? Is that really necessary?_ He didn’t really know how to respond, but he found it harder and harder to naysay the brunette each time they were together, and eventually, he shrugged. “Sure, if it’ll make you happy. Just remember that I’m going to be cooking, too.”

“Awesome!” Yosuke pumped his fists in the air and Souji shook his head. _He’s so easy-going I don’t even know where to start_.

* * *

They left separately - something that made Souji a little less anxious - and he spent some time picking around up the house while he waited for Yosuke. Not that it was anything other than spotless - between himself and Nanako, they kept it clean enough that Dojima-san joked sometimes that he could have eaten off the floor. 

Nanako was speechless with excitement when she found out that Yosuke was coming over, and she immediately ran out into the back yard to pick flowers - they’d put together a little vegetable garden and Nanako had convinced Souji (it hadn’t been very difficult) to buy a packet of flower seeds for her. She tended them daily, and the corner was a riot of pinks and purples by this time of the year. 

She’d just finished arranging a few handfuls of chrysanthemums and dianthus in a cup on the table when there was a knock at the door; Souji looked up from the kitchen where he was kneading buckwheat dough, and nodded. She bounced over and threw open the door, grinning.

“Hi, Yosuke!”

“Hi, Nanako-chan!” There was a bustle at the entrance, and the brunette appeared after a minute, having left his shoes in the entry. He had a soft guitar case slung over his shoulder and a ribbon-wrapped box in the other. “Nanako said something about liking warabi mochi, so-”

“Yaay!” 

Souji smiled - still small, but larger than at the first lunch on the roof - and nodded to the kitchen table. “Go ahead, set them down. Make yourself at home, I’m almost done with this part.”

Yosuke carefully sat his guitar case against the wall and slid the box of sweets onto the table. Hands shoved into his pockets, he wandered over to the counter. “Whatcha cooking, Souji?”

Souji was so unused to hearing his name - Nanako called him “big bro,” classmates called him Seta, and his uncle was rarely around - that a faint flush crawled into his cheeks, but it was the only change to his countenance as he sprinkled hot water on the mound of dough on the cutting board before folding it and starting to knead it again with practiced fingers.

“Soba. Nanako would like you to know that the green onions are from our garden, as are the flowers on the living room table. Have a seat, I’ll be done in a moment.” 

This was a cue for him to head to the other room, Yosuke knew. He didn’t _want_ to tear his attention away from Souji’s hands, but they were _Nanako’s_ flowers, and what could he do? He wandered into the living room and sat down, although not before praising the table centerpiece, much to the little girl’s delight. 

She watched with fascination as Yosuke opened his guitar case. “Oh! I know what that is. Do you play music?”

“Sure do, Nanako-chan! You got any favourite-” _crap_. “Except the Junes song, sorry, I don’t know how to play that.” 

Her face fell for a moment, and he had to stop himself from backpedaling, _no no no I love you Nanako-chan but I am_ not _gonna learn that_ , but then she clapped her hands together. “Do you know “Twinkle, Twinkle”?

He chuckled. “Yep.” Pulling his guitar out of the case, he started to tune it as a cold glass of mugicha appeared at his elbow. Souji then handed a much smaller one to Nanako, who took it carefully with both hands. 

“Thank you!”

Yosuke turned to see Souji taking his usual seat at the table, opposite Nanako; the shorter teen turned slightly, grinned at him, then turned back to Nanako before playing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.”

Nanako, of course, clapped and sang along, and Souji got that ridiculous smile again as he watched her, even though he tried to hide it. When Yosuke was done, she got him to play a couple of other children’s songs for her before he turned back to her cousin.

“What kinda music do you like?”

Souji’s face looked a little blank. “Anything, I guess?” He shrugged. “My parents listen mostly to classical. I think Dojima-san likes enka.”

 _Figures, but I was asking about you_ , not _your family_. Yosuke thought for a moment before starting into a light alternative rock song that had been popular a few years ago. 

Nanako, of course, loved it - she was just happy to be spending time with big bro and Yosuke. Souji listened passively, but it didn’t skip his notice that Yosuke had a very good voice. _He’s got legitimate talent, too_. The thought stung, and if it had been a month previous, would probably have elicited another round of _I hate Yosuke Hanamura_. Now, he just felt lost, and a little sad, though he made sure to keep it inside. 

Yosuke took Souji’s silence as acceptance - there wasn’t really any other way to read the silver-haired teen - and played a couple of other songs before breaking to chug half the glass of tea. Souji cleared his throat. “Were those all by the same band?”

Breaking into a smile - _hadn’t expected him to be interested enough to ask, never mind that I hoped he would_ \- Yosuke nodded. “Well, the first two songs were, the last one was a different band. Here.” He dug through the front pocket of his guitar case and slid two CDs across the table. “I brought ‘em in case you wanted to borrow them.”  
_  
Hang on, I didn’t_ \- Souji blinked, slowly taking the CDs. _So, wait… he… planned out what to play… thinking about what I might like?_ He looked a bit startled, chewing on his lip as he looked at the brightly-coloured discs. “Um, thank you. I think there’s a CD player in my room that Dojima-san left in there. I’ll take a listen.” He stood up. 

“You don’t need to do it now, dude.” Yosuke laughed.

“I’m not, the soba dough is ready.” He headed back to the kitchen, missing the mild embarrassment on Yosuke’s face before he turned back to Nanako and continued to play for her.

* * *

_He’s really not bad at all._ Souji wouldn’t necessarily have chosen this activity for the afternoon, but he had to admit that live music was nicer than having the news on while he cooked. Still, it brought back memories, and he busied himself with rolling and slicing out the fresh noodles to avoid becoming too restless. _Not that I ever wanted to come here, but I’m starting to think Inaba was more and more of a bad idea, I haven’t felt this unbalanced in years_. 

_Of course, if I’d never come to Inaba, I’d never have met Nanako_. The thought stilled him. _Or Yosuke_ , whispered another small corner of his mind. He grimaced. _That’s the_ point _!_

Dinner was quick once the noodles were done; the silence wasn’t as heavy as it had been the first time, and Yosuke was clearly feeling a lot better - Souji wasn’t, _ok, it’s not that I feel… worse… I just can’t explain it_ \- but Souji was always quiet, so it wasn’t as noticeable.

* * *

With the meal over and the dishes done, Yosuke pulled his guitar back into his lap and stretched. “So, dude. You play any instruments?”

He wasn’t expecting Souji to go still at this, his face shutting down. “Not any more.”

 _This is where I should shut up_. Of course, he wasn’t going to. “What instrument?”

Souji looked down at his hands, rubbing them together. “When I was ten, I spent two years in Sapporo with an aunt on my father’s side. She didn’t know what to do with me, so she signed me up for violin lessons.”

“Dude, that’s awesome. Why’d you stop?”

“My parents.” A small, hurt frown. “It was unnecessary, and got in the way of my studies.”

 _Wait what the hell?_ “Your _studies?_ Dude, you were ten years old!”

Souji just shrugged, and the look on his face told Yosuke that he’d finally seen one small bar of the cage around Souji Seta’s heart. The brunette frowned, not knowing what to say.

Nanako looked up at this. “My mom played the piano, and the flute, _and_ the violin!” With this surprising comment, she scrambled to her feet and went running to her room; the two boys looked at each other, sharing a brief moment of confusion. It wasn’t long before she came back, carrying a violin case that was more than half her height.

Souji froze at the sight, and Yosuke raised an eyebrow as he took the case from her, setting it carefully on the table in front of the taller boy, who looked deeply troubled. "Go ahead.” _I am the nosiest shit on this side of the Samegawa_.

Shaking his head, Souji looked distressed. “I shouldn’t, I don’t remember how, anyway, and if this is Dojima-san’s…”

“It’s okay.” Nanako sat down. “It was mom’s, and now it’s mine. Dad gave it to me! If you want to play with it, you can. I want to hear you play, big bro!”

“But my parents-”

“Dude, your parents aren’t here, and you wouldn’t be studying right now even if you _didn’t_ touch it, so go ahead!” Yosuke sounded annoyed. 

Looking as if he’d been shot, Souji reached out, unlatching the case and slowly pushing it open. The instrument inside had obviously been lovingly cared for. When the silver-haired boy took the violin out, Yosuke realized with a start that his hands were shaking. _Holy shit. This really means a lot to him. I never thought I’d see_ anything _unsettle him like this_.

With a lost look on his face, Souji looked at the strings. “I don’t know if it’s in tune-”

Yosuke rummaged in his guitar case. “I gotcha, dude. It’s an all-in-one, I use it for my different instruments.” He plopped a portable tuner onto the table in front of Souji, then switched it on and selected the right setting. 

For a second, Souji looked at him, and the expression on his face was one of deep dismay, and it was _almost_ enough to make Yosuke relent, but something told him that this was something very important, and that they’d all regret it if Souji didn’t go through with it. 

When he realized no one was saying anything, and that Nanako was still watching him with eager eyes, Souji shakily began to tune the violin. It took him some time - it had been nearly five years, and he’d forced himself to not think about it since then - but it seemed as if he remembered more than he’d protested, because he was soon finished. Taking up the newly-rosined bow, he set it to the strings. 

And waited. 

Yosuke found himself holding his breath, and realized Nanako was, too; finally, Souji started to move the bow. The first few notes were awful - nails on chalkboard - and it was clear Souji’s hands were still shaking, but he took a deep breath, and soon the bow was gliding over the strings. 

_Holy… shit._

It was just “Amazing Grace.” It wasn’t a difficult song, by any means, and Souji missed notes here and there, but the tone of the instrument was beautiful, and the _feeling_ pouring out through the music was enough to bring a lump to Yosuke’s throat. _And he had to quit playing? Because it was a ‘waste of time’? That’s ridiculous! Even if he wasn’t any good, you don’t discourage something someone loves so much!_

Yosuke had always been lucky - his parents had supported his love of music, and as long as he actually got his act together and took the right steps, he knew they’d support him taking a musical path after high school. _I couldn’t imagine feeling like this about music - like Souji clearly feels about the violin - only to be told to stop, never touch it again, it’s not_ good enough. _I think I’m starting to see why Souji is such a lonely knot of pain_.

Finally, the song ended and Souji dropped the violin and bow to his sides, breathing heavily; Yosuke had to pretend to be focused on packing his guitar up so that Souji wouldn’t know he'd seen the dampness in his eyes. Nanako stayed where she was for a moment, eyes wide, before jumping up and running over to hug Souji and bury her face in his leg. 

“Big bro,” she sobbed. “That sounded like mom. Thank you.”

Souji gave a shuddering sigh and carefully placed the violin onto the table before kneeling down to hug Nanako tightly. With an emotional look Yosuke _never_ thought he’d see, he looked over her back at the other boy. 

“Yosuke, I’m sorry-”

“No, dude.” Even Yosuke felt subdued. “I should get home. Thanks for the meal.” He stood up, slinging his case over his shoulder, then paused. “I mean it, though. I don’t know… your past, but you’re here, right now, and your folks aren’t, and you should take some time for yourself.” 

Souji closed his eyes, though not before Yosuke saw the anguish in them. “Please, Yosuke, just… good night.”

Yosuke gave a quiet sigh, feeling a bit guilty. “Good night, Nanako, Souji.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **bento** \- a box used to pack a lunch, and take to school or work  
>  **warabi mochi** \- a confection made from bracken starch (not rice, like true mochi) and dusted with kinako (sweet toasted soybean powder)  
>  **soba** \- buckwheat noodles  
>  **mugicha** \- barley tea, best served cold


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 7 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I promise the violin thing really isn't the main point of this story, it just means this is turning into a very LONG story.

Souji didn’t hear the door close, he was too focused on the small girl in his arms, who was clinging to his shirt and trying not to cry _too_ loudly. He blinked, his own eyes moist, and carefully maneuvered himself into a cross-legged position so that Nanako could sit on his knee; once he did, she sat back and rubbed her eyes. 

Sniffling, she looked around, and her face fell. “‘m sorry Yosuke had to leave ‘cause I was crying.”

“Nooo, no no, that’s not why Yosuke left.” Souji quickly wiped away any tell-tale signs of his own distress before hugging Nanako. Kissing the top of her head, he turned her around and pointed to the clock. “See? It’s time for homework.” Even if he doubted Yosuke did his homework at this time - or at all - _Souji_ did, and that was enough for Nanako. 

“O-oh. Okay.” She turned back. “U-um… big bro?”

He gave her a smile, hiding his exhaustion. “What’s up, Nanako?”

“Ummm…” She looked down at the floor for a moment. “Would you- would you play more? Mom used to play me to sleep, but… dad never plays her music anymore, and we never go to the river to pick flowers any more, and…” 

Souji’s heart clenched and a look of dread crossed his face; luckily, Nanako was still looking down at the floor. Running his hand through his hair, he forced himself to take a deep breath. Very carefully _not_ thinking about himself, or anything to do with himself, he squeezed her hand. “If you’re okay with me playing your mom’s violin, and I’m nowhere near as good as your mom was-” He knew that Chisato Dojima had been a talented piano teacher, though he hadn’t known she’d played other instruments as well. 

Nanako’s head jerked up and she smiled through her tears. Souji handed her a tissue and she wiped her eyes, blew her nose, then nodded vigorously. “Yeah! I want you to! You were great, big bro, it made me so happy!”

He smiled in spite of himself, his cheeks growing warm. “All right, well, it’s almost bedtime, would you like to hear a little more?”

“Yeah!” She looked at him with shining eyes and sat down, right beside his knee, as he stared at the violin and tried to remember the songs he’d learned. As he slowly started into Borodin’s “Notturno,” Nanako smiled and curled up next to him, her eyes closing.

* * *

Yosuke probably should have gone straight home - not that his parents would have been home to care - but he found himself wandering down to the riverbank, instead. It was dark by this point, the waxing moon reflected on the water, and he took a seat on one of the rocks near the water. Remembering what Nanako had said one day about wanting to go at night to see the fish “sleeping,” he gave a chuckle that was more regret than amusement.

_I feel like a complete asshole_. He’d known Nanako’s mother was dead, he’d known Souji had something - _a whole lot of somethings_ \- locked up inside, but he hadn’t imagined that this would be the catalyst. _Not that music is Souji’s whole issue; I think it’s just the tip of the iceberg. Shit. Even if this is something he probably needs to work through, I feel like an asshole for just… and then Nanako_ … 

He put his head in his hands, trying to think, trying _not_ to think about how the moon really reminded him of Souji, and finally, he sighed. “All right,” he said out loud. “Come on, dude. You’re the problem solver, you’ll work through this.”

One of the riverside cats meowed in agreement and jumped into his lap.

* * *

“ _What is going on_ -”

It wasn’t exactly a song, it was just a quiet, peaceful, random meandering of notes - Souji had a gift for composition, it seemed, even if he wasn’t aware of it - and it stopped abruptly at the sound of Dojima’s voice. His nephew, who’d been sitting on the floor, still holding the violin, twisted his torso as fast as he could without jostling his legs; Dojima, who was standing in the doorway with a look on his face that suggested he’d seen a ghost, bit off the last of his exclamation when he saw Nanako, asleep with her head on Souji’s knee. 

The sudden silence was enough to wake her up, but at least it hadn’t been his uncle’s shouting; she yawned and sat up and rubbed her eyes, which lit up when she saw her father. 

“Dad!” She ran over to him, her face shining, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “Big bro can play the violin, and it sounds like mom!”

“Yeah, I noticed that.” Dojima gave him a hooded look, full of pain, but it was gone before he turned back to Nanako. “You should be in bed. Come on. I’ll tuck you in.”

“Okay! Good night, big bro!” She scampered ahead; Souji, biting his lip, tried to ignore the cold lump in his stomach as he started to put the violin away. Dojima paused in the hallway.

“Don’t you go anywhere. We need to have a talk.” His voice was rough, and that just made the lump grow heavier. Souji carefully loosened the hair on the bow, wrapping the instrument in the layer of kimono silk it had come in before slipping it into the case; he’d just flicked the last latch closed when footfalls sounded behind him and Dojima - looking exhausted, sank onto the couch. 

“Well, she was already tired, so she fell right asleep. Thanks.”

The amount of pain in his uncle’s voice was enough to make him feel like being sick. “Dojima-san, I’m sorry…”

Dojima rubbed his hand across his face. “I just… how did this happen?”

Souji looked at his hands. “I had- had a friend over for dinner. We were talking about music, and I said- said I used to play the violin, and then Nanako ran off... she said it was hers, and asked me to play-” 

“I see.” With a heavy sigh, Dojima leaned back against the couch. “Don’t feel bad, you had no idea. Chisato - my wife - she… she played. Well, I guess you know that, now. She taught piano, but loved music of all types, and we didn’t have the room or money for a piano of our own so she’d play the violin… for Nanako…” His voice was rough. “The violin _is_ Nanako’s - I couldn’t bear to keep it myself, but I wasn’t going to take that away from my daughter, too…”

“I’m sorry, I-” Souji was trying to keep himself from completely losing it, and Dojima looked up. 

“Stop, kid. You’re fine. I- I haven’t seen Nanako so happy in a long time. It hurts like hell, but I’m grateful, even if it doesn’t sound like it. Although I don’t know what I'm going to say to your parents…”

Souji’s head snapped up, feeling like he’d been punched in the gut. “My parents?”

“Yeah.” Dojima rubbed the back of his neck again. “That was something your mother was _very_ clear about; she wanted you focused on your schoolwork and nothing else this year, and wanted to make sure none of "that music nonsense" distracted you.”  
_  
I haven’t touched the violin since they told me not to. I haven’t even asked. I even stopped thinking about it!_ He grit his teeth. _They’ll never trust me, I’m just a tool to them, it doesn’t matter what I do, I_ … 

He snapped out of the cycle of panicked thoughts when his uncle put a hand on his shoulder; he hadn’t even realized Dojima had moved from the couch. “Look, Souji, your mother and I… we haven’t ever seen eye-to-eye. We’ve always wanted different things, had different priorities. I was sure you were her son when we first met - and you still are - but you’re also yourself, which I, admittedly, didn’t expect. What do _you_ want?”

The silver-haired boy dropped his gaze to his hands, remembering how the wood sang under his palms, the look in Nanako’s eyes, the warmth of her head on his knee, the look of surprise on Yosuke’s face. 

“I don’t know.” 

“That’s fair.” His uncle gave a heavy sigh. “You figure out what _you_ want, and I’ll figure out what to tell your folks. Come on, it’s time for bed.”

* * *

The auditorium was quiet; Souji sat carefully on a bench just behind the curtain, waiting to hear his name. Someone else was on stage; a girl playing a flute, and it was pretty, but he wasn’t paying attention - he was craning his neck to see if he could see his parents. His aunt had promised him they’d be there, and it had been more than a year since he’d seen them, and he imagined the looks on their faces when he played the song he’d been practicing. His teacher told him he was good; she told him he was very good, and that she was proud of him, and if she was proud of him, they would be proud of him, too. 

Finally, the flute girl’s song ended, and there was applause, and he heard his name. Sliding off the chair, he walked out; the lights were bright, so he couldn’t see the audience, but he’d practiced for this, and his aunt had _promised_ , so he knew it would be ok. They’d be there.

Lifting the bow, he took a breath; the accompanist started playing, and he joined in just at the right time with his chosen song; Alexander Borodin’s “Notturno.” He’d picked it himself, loving the way it that sounded like someone singing; it made him smile, and he’d never really felt so happy as when he played, and six minutes passed quickly. The final notes echoed throughout the silent auditorium; suddenly everyone was applauding, and he bowed like his parents had taught him, and hurried off stage, feeling exhilarated. 

Holding the bow of his violin carefully, he hurried down the hall; as he approached the dressing room, however, he heard loud voices; they were familiar, and angry, and he instinctively slowed his steps. He knew those voices.

“- _dare_ you fill his head with this sort of nonsense?” That was his mother.

“Perhaps you didn’t hear me, but your son shows remarkable promise with the instrument. If he focused-” That was his teacher.

“I’m sorry.” The polished voice that belonged to his father. “I don’t think you understand. My son already has a future as a lawyer and politician, and his focus will remain on _that_. While I appreciate the time you have spent on teaching him, I must regretfully inform you that he will no longer be taking classes.”

_Wh- what?_ Souji wasn’t stupid. He understood; his parents weren’t proud of him, they were ashamed. They were angry. He felt sick, but knew better than to cry - his mother hated it when he cried. Just then, the door opened, and his parents were standing in front of him. 

Their faces weren’t even angry; they were cold, and disdainful, and bore the same expressions you’d see on the face of a rich businessman stopped on the street by a beggar looking for change. 

“Come, Souji. We’ve wasted enough time.” His mother took the violin out of his hand without another word, handing it back to his teacher, who was looking indignant, and angry, and as if she wanted to cry. 

“The instrument is Souji’s, Mrs. Seta.”

“He doesn’t need it. Throw it away, give it to another stage brat, I don’t care.” He felt panic, seeing it disappear, and his teacher’s eyes met his for just a moment. He could tell she wanted to say something, but there was no _time_ , and neither of his parents took his hand, his father just looked back and told him to hurry, it was time to go, and he had to run after them and ignore the empty feeling, the feeling of disappointment and regret he was too young to really understand. 

The car ride back to his aunt’s house was suffocating. His parents’ attitudes were so frigid that it felt like he was trapped in a field of ice, and he couldn’t breathe, and all the while he grew colder, and colder, and-

“Big bro?” Something shook his shoulders. “Big bro!”

“Nanako!” He gasped awake, realizing that he’d been asleep on top of his futon, and that it _was_ a cold night for late September, and that he’d been having a nightmare. He blinked sleepily at his little cousin, who leaned over and hugged him. 

“Are you ok?”

He’d been shivering, and his throat was dry, and he must have been making some sort of noise if he’d woken Nanako. “Y-yeah. Sorry, I just had a bad dream.”

“It’s ok. I have them, too, sometimes. Especially when I miss mom.” She shivered, and he hugged her, trying to keep her from catching a cold.

* * *

The next thing he knew, it was light outside and he was waking up and he must have grabbed the blanket off the couch because he and Nanako both were curled up on top of his futon, in a nest of blankets and pillows. His back kind of hurt from the weird position he’d been sleeping in, but Nanako looked peaceful and happy as she curled up, holding onto one of the tails of his pajama shirt.

_What do I want?_ He looked down at Nanako, who was asleep with a smile on her face. _She has nightmares too, huh? Especially about her mom. Of course she does_. His heart squeezed, painfully, and he felt the hinges strain, and maybe - just maybe - one of the bars fell free as he shook his head. _How could I say no, anyway?_

He woke her up, and she headed sleepily downstairs to get dressed and start breakfast; Souji did the same, following her downstairs to find his uncle still at the table. It was a little earlier than he or Nanako were usually up, and Dojima raised an eyebrow, but just poured two extra mugs of coffee. 

“Uncle.” Souji looked down at his mug, watching the steam ghost across the top of the hot drink (cream, no sugar). “It makes Nanako happy, I- I want to play.” _It makes me happy. It terrifies me_. He couldn’t say that, though. 

He looked up in time to see an expression, half pain and half pride, crossing Dojima’s face. “Then play. Don’t worry about my sister, I’ll deal with her.” A nod, and a faint grimace. “Just… if you don’t mind… please do it when I’m not around, huh?”

Souji swallowed. “Of course.” He took a gulp of his coffee; it was still a little too hot, but the pain helped him focus on something other than his thoughts.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 8 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

Yosuke wasn’t sure he was going to see Souji the next morning, and he was almost a little afraid to; he didn’t know him well enough yet _even though I want to_ to know how he’d handle something so raw, especially given that not too long ago Souji had hated him. He chewed his lip as he walked along the floodplain; he felt disappointed when he didn’t see a head of silver hair bobbing along above the crowd, but he couldn’t really do anything about it.

Suddenly, he heard a voice at his elbow. “Heeeeyyyyy Yosuke!” 

“Yosuke-kun!”

He turned his head to see Chie and Yukiko walk up beside him. “Hey ladies, what’s up?”

Chie grinned. “Not much, would rather not be heading to school, but what’s new?” They all laughed. 

“You’ve been hanging out with Seta-san, right?” Yukiko tilted her head, and Yosuke looked at her, warily. 

“Yeeeahhh, but why are you asking? There’s nothing going on and it really weirds him out when people start assuming we’re dating just because we’re hanging out. It’s hard enough to get him to relax enough to talk, I wish it would stop.” 

Chie blinked, then laughed. “Wow, dude, you really are interested, aren’t you?”

“He’s a nice guy.” Yosuke huffed. “He deserves better than to be some outcast. Anyway. Why are you asking?” He eyed them. “Exams are over.”

“That’s mean, Yosuke-kun.” Yukiko gave him a look, and he smiled a bit, brushing his hair out of his eyes. 

“You’re right, sorry. It’s been a tough week, what with exams and Naoto-kun.”

“Well, we were asking because we were wondering if you’d bring him up to the roof after class?” Chie had her hands in her pockets, although she held them in front of her in a defensive move when Yosuke snapped his head around to look at her. “Woah, dude, chill.”

“Planning to ambush him, or ask him out on a group date?” He laughed, but the idea of Souji getting confessed to on the rooftop made him feel less than thrilled. 

Chie slugged his shoulder. “ _Neither_ , dork. We wanted to thank him for the study session and I doubt he’d feel too great about it if we did it in the classroom in front of all the wierdos that hang around in the afternoon.”

“Weirdos like us, you mean?” Yukiko dissolved into one of her hyena spells of laughter and Chie just looked at her. 

“Like _you_ , maybe.”

Yosuke chuckled. “I’ll see what I can do, but I haven’t seen him today so I don’t even know if he’s coming to school.”

Chie raised an eyebrow. “Dude, you think he might be skipping? For _real?_ ”

“Or sick, probably more likely.” Yukiko frowned. “It’s been extra cold lately.”

“Yeah.” _Or just emotionally destroyed_. He frowned, glumly, and Chie put an arm over his shoulder. 

“Cheer up, dude, at least he doesn’t hate you any more.”

_I wouldn’t be so sure about that._

* * *

When they walked into the classroom, he stopped short; Souji was already at his desk, head on his arms, asleep. Chie and Yukiko giggled quietly as they took their seats; Yosuke shook his head, but was secretly relieved to see him. _Although, if he’s so tired that he came in early to crash at his desk_ … 

The brunette sat down quietly, sneaking a peek at Souji’s face as he slid his bag beneath his seat. _He looks a lot less stressed when he sleeps. How sad is that?_

When he turned back around, Souji must have sensed him moving - or something else woke him - because he stuck his head up, stretching blearily. “Morning.”

“Morning. You sleep at school or something?” Yosuke turned back around to see Souji carefully raking his fingers through his hair to try to get rid of any bedhead from sleeping face-down on the desk. 

“No, I ended up waking up early and decided to come in instead of going back to sleep and then risking oversleeping.”

“Would Nanako-chan really let you oversleep?” 

“Not really.” They both chuckled, but then Yosuke grew serious, dropping his voice. “How is she doing?”

Souji flushed. _Not exactly what I want to be talking about, but it’s hardly his fault_. “She’s doing really well, actually. Dojima-san wasn’t too happy, but he’s not mad, it’s just… hard for him.” 

Yosuke sighed, rubbing his face. “I’m sorry, man, I never thought-”

“It’s really okay, Yosuke.” Souji’s voice was a lot kinder than he expected, and Yosuke found the knot in his stomach easing even as one formed in his throat. 

“Well, anyway, I hope you get a chance to listen to those CDs.” He smiled. “You can keep ‘em as long as you want.”

“Thanks. If I like them, would it bother you if I downloaded them to my hard drive?”

“Nah, dude! If you like them, that’s great. Put ‘em on your MP3 player, or whatever.”

Souji smiled a little. “I don’t have one, but I can save them on my laptop.”

Just then, the bell rang, and Yosuke turned back around. Then, remembering Chie and Yukiko’s question from that morning, he looked back over his shoulder. “You free to hang out after school?”

 _Eh?_ Souji frowned. “I really need to do some homework…”

“I gotta work this afternoon, anyway. I just meant for a bit.”

A shrug. “Sure. I don’t mind.”

“Cool, cool!” _Man, the girls had better not make me regret this… I’ve already almost fucked things up three times, I don’t need them to put the nail in the coffin_ for _me, I can probably do it myself._

* * *

The day went by slowly; things were always sluggish and lazy after exams. Finally, Sofue-sensei finished her lesson about Egyptian pyramids, the bell rang, and Chie - who’d gotten the ok at lunch that Yosuke would take Souji up to the roof - dashed out of the classroom, trailed by Yukiko. _Seriously, they’d better have listened to me_ … He watched them run off as Souji shook his head, bemusedly.

“They’re in a hurry.”

“Knowing Chie, there’s probably a sale on at Souzai Daigaku.” Souji laughed and Yosuke looked pleased with himself. 

They gathered their things, then Yosuke stretched. “I gotta work in, like, two hours, so let’s just go hang out on the roof.”

Souji, who’d really not thought about anything that day other than homework - worried that if he thought too much he’d fall back into a panic, or start thinking about Nanako’s violin - shrugged. “Works for me.”

They walked out onto the roof - it was a nice, late-summer day, despite the cold night before - but when they turned the corner into the open, he felt Souji stiffen beside him. Yosuke was surprised, as well; it wasn’t just Chie and Yukiko, but also Rise. 

Souji frowned, then looked to the shorter boy. “Yosuke?”

“Just humour them, please,” he said. “I think it’s ok.”

He could sense that Souji was not certain, but felt relieved and a little bit pleased that he apparently trusted Yosuke enough that he didn’t leave, and they walked over to the girls. 

“Hey ladies.” Yosuke smiled. “You wanted to see Souji?”

If the girls were surprised to see him call Souji by his first name, they didn’t show it; instead, all three of them held out bags of what looked like cookies. 

Yosuke’s first response was shock. _Holy shit they_ are _confessing!_ Then, he realized that they were bags of _cookies_ and they didn’t look store-bought, and _oh no no no_. 

“What the hell?” He jumped in front of Souji. “Are you guys trying to kill him? Dude I am telling you, as a friend, _do not let them feed you anything homemade_ -”

At the same time that Chie aimed a kick at Yosuke’s shin - or, to be honest, some place more threatening - Yukiko and Rise both complained.

“No fair, Yosuke-kun!” 

“That’s mean, Senpai!”

Souji, meanwhile, was watching all of this with an air of disbelief; unlike Yosuke, the idea that they might be confessing hadn’t even crossed his mind, but he couldn’t imagine what they _were_ doing, and Yosuke’s actions were even more confusing. _Although, kind of funny_. 

His mouth quirked, and after a moment, everyone paused, realizing that he was actually laughing at them. 

Yosuke turned around. “Dude, is that the thanks I get? They’re trying to poison you!”

“ _Dude we are so not!_ ” Chie frowned. “Calm the hell down! My mom made these!”

“Yeah, and our chef made these.” Yukiko held up her bag, her face red. “I don’t want to poison Seta-san.”

“Mine are from the bakery in Okina.” Rise pouted. “I just put them in a cute bag!”

“Okay, _okay!_ ” Yosuke shrugged. “Sorry.”

The girls held the bags out again, and Souji - who’d stopped laughing - looked confused again. “Uh… what is this?”

“Well, we wanted to say thank you for helping us study.” Yukiko was still a bit pink.

“But the scores aren’t out yet. I don’t know if I helped you or not-”

“That’s not the point.” Chie nodded. “We appreciate that you did it, and if we didn’t get anything out of it, that’s our fault. Please take them?” 

Souji looked as if he didn’t quite know what to do - or say - about the situation, his face flushed as they handed him the cookies. Rise pushed hers in with theirs. 

“I wanted to say I’m sorry. I was being selfish and I’m sorry I wrecked your study session.” She looked up at him. “Also, you’re kinda cute, senpai!”

“Wha- hey, Rise!” Yosuke sighed and shook his head, and the red-haired girl giggled. 

“Jealous, Yosuke-senpai?”

“Hell no. Just, calm down, you guys.”

Everybody laughed, and Souji just looked down at the cookies in his hands. “Um. Thanks. Do you… mind if I share these with Nanako?”

Yosuke gave the girls his best “ _if these are dangerous you’d better come clean now_ ” look, but they just grinned.

“Of course! That’s why I gave you extra!” Chie stretched, and Yukiko nodded.

“Nanako is a really sweet girl, Seta-san. You’re really lucky.”

“Yeah, she is.” Souji smiled at the bags in his hand, and the girls all looked at each other, then back to Souji, then to Yosuke, who couldn’t suppress a smirk as he smiled. _He’s like a whole new guy compared to when they saw him last_.

Looking up, Souji bit his lip, then continued. “Er… you can just call me Souji, you know.”

The group was quiet for a moment, and then Chie grinned. “Awesome! We should celebrate by getting steak!”

“Dammit, Chie, that’s not even a good reason-” Yosuke shook his head, and Chie laughed.

“‘Course it is! New friends are always a reason to celebrate.”

Souji slowly tucked the bags of cookies into his satchel. “I hate to be rude, but I really should get back, Nanako’s going to be home today and I don’t just want to leave her alone-”

Yosuke eyed him. _Does he want to come, or is he trying to get out of it?_ "Well, dude, like I said, I gotta work in, like-” he looked at his phone. “An hour now. We could always grab food at Junes, and you could get Nanako-chan on the way and bring her with you!”

“Yeah! That sounds great! I wanna see Nanako-chan again!” Rise clapped. “Please, senpai?”

Souji looked surprised, but then nodded. “We can’t stay all night, I do have homework, but… are you guys sure?”

“Of course we are! Nanako-chan is the best!” Chie smiled at him, and he found himself smiling back, just a little.

* * *

They agreed to head over to Junes, and Souji would go home to grab Nanako - Yosuke would probably have to ditch for work shortly after they got there, and he wanted to eat before his shift - and they’d all meet up at the food court. 

When he opened the door, Nanako came running to meet him. “Big bro!” 

“Want to go to Junes, Nanako? Yosuke and-” A pause. “The others are all going to be there.”

“The others? You mean your friends?” 

Remembering the cookies in his bag, and the earnest smiles, and his own voice saying “call me Souji,” he turned red, then nodded. 

“Yeah, my friends.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 9 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

Having friends felt surprisingly... _normal_. Given the way he’d seen Yosuke with his ~~harem~~ large group of friends - which seemed to be tapering down, just a bit, from how it was when Souji had started at Yasogami - he assumed that they’d be expecting him to spend all his free time doing… whatever it was that they did. 

They didn’t, which was a relief. He still thought they were _really_ noisy, and half the time they were talking about tv shows that he didn’t watch or tossing around inside jokes that he didn’t get, and he needed time to catch up as he’d fallen behind on his extracurricular studying, between helping Nanako with the house, schoolwork, and spending the occasional evening or afternoon with Yosuke. The two of them spent more time together than he spent with the whole group; he was still surprised that they got along at all, but they _did_ , and at least Yosuke didn’t mind if Souji just wanted to sit and be quiet sometimes. _Most of the time._

About a week after their impromptu “friendship” party - which Souji thought sounded pretty silly, but he appreciated the thought, so he didn’t say anything - Yosuke tapped his shoulder as he was putting his books away. 

“Hey, partner, you free this afternoon?”

A wince. _I still don’t get the nickname. Names._ Yosuke had taken to calling him partner, Teddie - Teddie still freaked him out - _still_ called him Sou-kun, and while Rise hadn’t given him a nickname, she called him “♪Souji♫-♪senpai♫.” When she wasn’t hanging on Yosuke’s arm, she was on his, and he really wasn’t a huge fan of her perfume. She was also unflaggingly gentle with Nanako and always cheerful, and he respected her a lot more than he’d ever expected to.

“Helllooo~?” Yosuke waved a hand in front of his face. 

“Huh? Oh, sorry.” Souji shook his head. “I’m here, yeah, I’m free.”

A laugh. “Dude, you’re so weird. What were you thinking about so hard over there?”

“Rise.” He didn’t seem to think it was a weird answer as he stretched; Yosuke got an odd look on his face, but shrugged. 

“Dude, whatever. Let’s head up to the roof. I gotta favour to ask.” When Souji eyed him, he shook his head. “Not just you, everybody.”

_I have a bad feeling about this._

* * *

“No.” Souji’s response was immediate, as was Chie’s; they even said it in unison. Rise didn’t mind - _not a surprise, she loves performing even if she hates show business_ \- Yukiko and Kanji were on the fence, and Naoto was, to Souji’s disappointment, all for it. He couldn’t fault her sense of responsibility, but…

“ _No_.” He tried to ignore Yosuke’s puppy-dog eyes. “I can’t play bass!” 

“Dude! It’s not like Yukiko or Chie-”

“Not _dooooing_ it!” Chie was humming, with her hands over her ears, and Yosuke gave her an exhausted look before turning back to Souji.

“Anyway. Bass is just like the violin, but the strings are backwards. You’d be a natural!”

Souji winced when he said “violin,” and Yosuke bit his tongue. “Shit, dude… sorry…”

“Whaaaaat? Souji-senpai plays the violin?” Rise’s eyes sparkled as she latched onto this piece of information. “♪ _Sennnnpaiiiii_ ♫, come on! It’ll be fun.” 

Taking a deep breath, Souji shook his head; Yosuke followed up, still trying to convince him. “You’re probably better suited to play than any of us other than Naoto and myself! Dude, please…” He sighed heavily, looking down, and then up at Souji from underneath his lashes - it was a _total_ come-hither look, _and_ he had the puppy-dog eyes again. “I guess we’ll be moving soon…” He scuffed the roof with his toe. 

Souji was not used to receiving looks like that, and it was making him feel so strange that he was really glad when Yosuke shifted his gaze to Chie, and she finally threw her hands up. 

“Ugh! Fine! Whatever, dork!”

She sounded exasperated, but it was clear to Souji that they all cared a lot about Yosuke. _He’s an idiot, and he’s loud, but he’s a good guy, and it would be a shame if he had to move_. He sighed to himself, thinking about Nanako, and the violin, and the whole pandora’s box that he’d been trying not to open - and then he looked back at Yosuke, whose back was to him as he planned with the others, having already assumed that Souji was out. 

He realized that, at this moment, he could head back down to the classroom. It might disappoint the others a little, he knew Yosuke would be disappointed - he could already see the little slump in his shoulders - but he also knew they wouldn’t hold it against him. Dropping his eyes to the ground, he saw the group’s shadows stretched out away from them; one large shadow, with lots of heads and arms, Yosuke’s shadow beside it, just barely touching, and then his own, separate. He shivered. _Except, loneliness is just another kind of pain_. 

Slowly, still watching the shadows, he walked over to the group. Stopping just where the edge of his shadow touched Yosuke’s, he looked up; they’d stopped, and were watching him, and _Yosuke’s got that hopeful look in his eyes again and dammit_ … 

A nod. “All right, I’ll do it.”

“Yay!” Rise cheered, throwing her arms around Souji’s waist; Yosuke didn’t say anything, but his look of gratitude made Souji decide that it would probably - _maybe_ \- be worth it. 

Chie managed to detach Rise from Souji’s uniform jacket, and they all had a talk about what they were actually going to _do_ and who would play what and did they even have a snowball’s chance in hell of learning a song to play in less than a week; Yosuke scratched his cheek. 

“Souji shouldn’t have trouble picking up the bass, I’m a great guitarist, Rise’s an ex-idol, for goodness’ sake; Naoto, you said you’ve had piano recitals before?”

She nodded, clearing her throat. “I played Mussorgsky at my last one.”

Souji looked up. “ _Pictures at an Exhibition?_ ”

“‘Promenade’, yes.”

“You’ll be fine.” Rise piped up. “I’ve got a couple of songs in mind, and they’re way easier than that.” She and Souji nodded at each other, and Yosuke tapped his forehead as he thought.

“Drums… Kanji? How’s your rhythm?” 

“Man, why’m _I_ on drums?” 

“Because it’s not a metal band, Kanji. We’re trying to draw a crowd, not chase them off. Can you imagine the housewives at Junes?” Rise giggled. “Okay, that just leaves Chie-senpai and Yukiko-senpai. And Teddie.”

 _Ugh. That weird guy_. Souji shrugged. “Could we borrow something from the band room?”

Just then, the last bell rang, signalling that club time was over; they’d have to wait for the next day. As everybody headed downstairs, Yosuke fell back to walk with Souji. 

“Dude… thank you. I realize this is probably the last thing you want to do, and I’m really sorry I outed the violin thing to the group, and you can totally still back out if you’d prefer not to, but I’m really grateful-” _okay, babbling_. He gave a little grin, and Souji nodded.

“Relax, Yosuke. I really don’t mind. It’s not ideal, but… _I_ chose to start playing music again.” His lips tightened into a small line as he thought about his parents, then pushed that thought to the back of his mind. “I don’t have a bass guitar, though.”

“That’s okay.” Yosuke grinned again. “I’ve got two guitars and a bass. I brought the acoustic over to your place last time, but this time I’ll probably want the electric… but it's easier to practice on an acoustic... hmm. Oh, right, and the bass.” He looked Souji up and down. “It’s just a black Fender bass, but I think it’ll look good on you.”

“I don’t _care_ what it looks like.” Souji sounded exasperated. “Just as long as it holds a tune.”

“Of course it does.” The brunette stretched as they emerged from the school building. “Tell you what, I can go home and grab them, and we could practice a little bit, if your uncle isn’t going to be home?”

“I don’t know.” Souji looked hesitant. “He’s been coming home early on and off this past week. I don’t think we’d upset him like I did with the violin, but at the same time, I doubt he wants to listen to our nonsense.”

“Well…” Yosuke looked thoughtful. “Gimme your number, dude. I’ll text you when I’ve found everything and you can tell me if Dojima-san’s home or not.”

The silver-haired boy’s hand hovered over his pocket, where his phone resided; he remembered his mother handing him the slim basic model before they’d dropped him at the train station. 

“Emergencies only,” she said. “There won’t be anyone in that forsaken place to actually talk to, so don’t let me catch you running up phone bills.”

Carefully, he flipped it open. “Okay. But do me a favour, don’t text me a lot, okay? And don’t mention the violin. Or music. Or the concert, or really… just…” 

Yosuke gave him a look of minor disbelief, but then shrugged, pulling out his own phone. “Sure, dude, whatever you need.”

* * *

When Souji got home, he found Nanako on the back porch folding laundry; she greeted him with a cheerful “Welcome back, big bro!”

He set his bag down, going out to help her with the futon comforter she was currently struggling with; as they folded it together, he asked her about her day. 

“It was good! I caught crickets with Mai-chan and we went to the river.”

“Have you heard from your dad yet?”

Her face fell. “Yes… he said not to wait for him for dinner, he doesn’t think he’ll be home tonight.”

Souji patted her head. “Yosuke might come over, is that okay?”

She clapped. “Yeah! I like Yosuke, it’s fun to have guests! Dad said we could order sushi!”

Silently thanking his uncle, Souji smiled. _Means I won’t have to worry about dinner or dishes._

Half an hour later, he was startled by a jingle and buzz from the table; realizing it was his cell phone - _first text message I’ve gotten_ \- he flipped it open.

> yo partner wuz up

Somehow, Souji was less-than-surprised at Yosuke’s text style.

> Uncle’s probably not coming home tonight. We’re ordering sushi. 

The next text took him some time to decipher.

> ((ヾ(* ´∀｀)ノ))

When he realized it was a celebratory pose, he found himself snickering.

> Who said you get any?

> .・゜゜・（／。＼）・゜゜・． ur so mean

Another snicker.

> Are you coming over or not?

> i want hotate

> You can have the tamago.

> dude u suck

By this point, Souji was laughing openly, and Nanako was watching from the table.

> Hirame?

> c u in 20 ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪♬

That gave Souji just enough time to run out and pick up dinner; he was just pushing the front door open when Yosuke came barrelling down the hill on his bike, narrowly missing the trash can.

“Wooooah!” He screeched to a stop. “Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best idea.” 

He had _two_ guitar cases strapped to his back; Souji rolled his eyes, calling for Nanako to come take the sushi. She carried it inside, and he walked over to help Yosuke carry his stuff inside. 

Nanako looked, curiously, at Yosuke’s things. “You brought your guitar again!”

“Sure did, Nanako-chan! Your bro and I are gonna practice some music.”

Souji, busy unpacking the sushi, looked up. “We’re probably going to be in my room, since it’s gonna be boring, is that ok?”

“Sure, but ummm… could Yosuke play a song first?” She looked at them anxiously, and Yosuke looked surprised.

“Wow, Nanako-chan, I’m honoured. ‘Course I can.” He grinned as she clapped. 

“All right, all right.” Souji smiled. “Let’s eat first. I got them to put the wasabi on the side, Nanako, so which pieces do you want?”

“Ummmm…” She scanned the tray. “Tako! And, umm... kuni, and tamago.”

“Guess you’re lucky, Yosuke, no tamago for you.” He smirked as Yosuke pulled a face at him, then smacked the brunette’s chopsticks out of the way when he tried to sneak the hotate. Nanako giggled.

“Nuh-uh, that’s big bro’s favourite!”

* * *

Once dinner was over, Yosuke pulled out his guitar - he’d brought the acoustic again for practice purposes - and played for Nanako while Souji cleaned up. The silver-haired teen found himself enjoying it more this time, and he still liked listening to Yosuke sing. 

Eventually they headed upstairs, leaving Nanako to watch _Loveline_ ; Yosuke followed Souji to his room with more than a little curiosity. _I’ll bet his room is either empty and completely clean, or weird because it’s a spare room or something._

He was right on the first count; the futon was tucked neatly away under his hung and folded clothes in the closet, there was a tv, cd player, and potted plant on the dresser, a couch and a table, a large set of empty shelves, and a desk. The desk was piled with schoolwork, as well as several very thick, very imposing, very dry-looking textbooks. 

“Dude, this place is… really stark.” Souji looked around as Yosuke did, then shrugged. “It does what it needs to.” He moved two textbooks from the table in front of the couch; Yosuke caught the title of one as he passed.

“ _The Japanese Legal System: Introductory Cases and Materials_ …” A pause as a horrified look crossed his face. “Dude, _what the hell_ , isn’t that like a first year college law book?”

Souji shrugged, placing it on his desk. “Yes.” Yosuke continued to look at him with a horrified expression, and he raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“You want to be a lawyer?” Taking a seat, the shorter boy crossed his arms.

Looking surprised, Souji shrugged. “I don’t really have an option. My parents had my career picked out when I was still in the womb; if I was a girl, I’d make a marriage of alliance of sorts, if I was a boy, I’d go into law, with the eventual goal of politics. I’m just a footnote in my father’s career portfolio to make it “well-rounded.”

 _That sounds completely terrible and 100% wrong._ Yosuke frowned. “Dude, that shouldn’t be how it works-”

“It doesn’t matter.” Souji cut him off. “Can we not talk about it?”

“Sorry, man.” Yosuke frowned, but he wasn’t going to push it. “All right, well-”

* * *

They spent the next couple of hours playing around on the instruments as Yosuke coached Souji on the bass; as expected, he picked it up quickly, and seemed to enjoy it well enough. They practiced until a small clock on the desk chimed nine; Souji looked up. 

“We should call it here. I’m going to go tuck Nanako in, then I need to study.” 

While Souji was downstairs, Yosuke put the instruments away; as he was waiting for his friend to return, the textbooks caught his eye again. _Ugh. I would bet everything I have that’s why Souji’s so upset and uptight. I can’t even imagine already studying for law school while I was still in high school, even if I_ wanted _to go!_ He shook his head.

When Souji came back, he opened the desk drawer, taking out and handing back Yosuke’s CDs. “I copied them both, thanks.”

“Did you like them?” Yosuke was pleased that he’d picked well. 

“Yeah.” He reached over to tap one. “I liked this one best. I didn’t realize rock bands used classical instruments, as well.”

 _Ohhh that’s right._ Yosuke remembered that the CD Souji had picked was very melodic. _They mix a lot of orchestral motifs into their music… well, I didn’t know, but I guess I picked right. I think that’s also the band I played a couple of songs from that Souji said he liked so much_. He grinned. 

“Heck yeah. The best music is unpredictable, mixes stuff you don’t expect. That’s the kind of stuff I love, that’s what I want to play.” He beamed. “Glad you liked it, partner. If you want to borrow some more of that band’s CDs, I have ‘em.”

“Yeah. I’d like that.” Souji smiled, and it was a bit stronger than it had been since they’d talked about his daunting future.

* * *

When Yosuke left, Souji went back up to his room to study; he found his attention drifting, however, and try as he might, he just couldn’t get through a page. Closing the book, he leaned over to rest his head on the cover, breathing slowly; after a quarter of an hour of incomprehensible thoughts that were more _feelings_ than _concepts_ , he put the book away, picked up the violin that Nanako had insisted on lending him, and went to sit in front of her room and play quietly for a half an hour, until his thoughts had quieted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **hotate** \- scallop  
>  **tamago** \- egg (usually sweet)  
>  **hirame** \- flounder  
>  **wasabi** \- japanese horseradish, usually in condiment form  
>  **tako** \- octopus  
>  **kuni** \- crab


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 10 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess turn-about is fair play; in this AU, Souji's the one who cries. Shorter chapter this time.

It wasn’t exactly a _huge deal_ \- especially since they’d done everything they could to keep the news that Risette would be doing a special, one-time performance away from the internet and the media - but there was still a _very_ large crowd in front of the stage.

“Seriously, why the hell are we the only two with nerves?” Chie looked around at the group, griping; Yukiko shook her head.

“Well, I mean, Rise-chan’s used to this, I don’t think Kanji-kun cares, Naoto-kun never loses her cool, and I think Yosuke-kun and Souji-kun are _excited_ about the whole thing. And Teddie, well… he’s just Teddie.”

“How beary rude! _Just_ Teddie? I’m a vital part of Operation Get Well Soon, Nana-chan!” He stood off to the side with a video camera, looking impatient. After one too many “unsolicited surprises” during their rehearsals - Souji had almost strangled him the third time - they finally came up with an alternative use for the boy when Nanako (who’d been looking forward to the concert immensely) came down with a cold and Dojima-san decreed that she wouldn’t be able to leave the house. Souji had asked him to film the show for her, and Teddie swore he would do _everything_ to make “Nana-chan” feel better. He was also threatened within an inch of his life if he tried to film anything _extra_.

Chie rolled her eyes at the boy before sidling up to Souji and Yosuke, who were standing a little ways off, facing each other, talking excitedly about different tunings, or fingerings, or keys, or… she didn’t really get it, or care, she had enough to do to remember her own part. Sighing, she elbowed Souji, who started.

“Dude, what is it? Is it the freaking city vibes? You guys are cool as cucumbers.”

Souji shrugged, at a loss, running his fingers through his hair in what was becoming a familiar gesture; Yosuke laughed. “You’re just too keyed up, Chie.”

She was about to retort when Rise clapped her hands, calling everybody over. After a moving pep talk - Souji idly thought that perhaps _Rise_ should be the one to consider a future in politics - and amidst the roar of the crowd gathered in the Junes food court, they took the stage.

* * *

The song itself wasn’t particularly amazing - it was catchy and fun, one of Risette’s more recent hits - and their performance wasn’t top of the line. Rise was probably the only one who didn’t screw anything up, but nobody made any horrible mistakes, and the crowd loved it. 

Halfway through the song, Yosuke - who’d dreamed about being on stage and could _not_ contain his excitement - managed to pull off the trope ‘back-to-back’ stance with Souji and he could not have been more stoked. _That was sooo cool! This is so cool! This is exactly what I want!_ He felt like he was walking on air, and it didn’t skip his notice that his friend seemed to be having fun, as well. The two had been sharing a mic on one side of the stage with Chie and Yukiko sharing the opposite side, and he had to admit that Souji had a nice voice. _We sound pretty great together, if I do say so myself. It would be so freaking cool if we could put a band together_ …

Souji _was_ having fun. A lot of fun. He hadn’t expected to, but being up there under the lights sent an odd thrill through him, as if he was discovering some new side of himself. _If anyone had told me three months ago I’d be on a stage with Yosuke Hanamura - sharing a mic with him - I would have walked away. But this is… fun_. The pulse of the music kept him from thinking about anything other than the performance and his fellow performers, kept his mind busy, and he was so comfortable with Yosuke that he didn’t even _think_ about having stage fright. 

The rush lasted through the ovation, but once they were backstage again, he found his heart suddenly in his stomach. He couldn’t have put his finger on _why_ ; his nerves were too keyed, his stomach too ill for that. All he knew was that he needed to get away before he lost it, _god forbid I lose it. I can’t fall apart. Never fall apart_. 

With shaking hands, he wiped the bass down, slid it into its case, and looked around. The group was scattered, either collapsed and trying to recover (Chie), or jumping up and down and trying not to talk a thousand miles an hour about their excitement (Yosuke); no one was watching him, so he grabbed his bag and hurried out.

* * *

He’d meant to go straight home, but realized halfway there that he didn’t want to worry Nanako; without really thinking about it, he turned, and his feet took him to the riverbank. Finding that no one was around - it was cloudy, and possibly going to rain - he sank down onto the steps near the water, wrapping his arms around his knees as he curled into the smallest ball that someone nearly 6-feet-tall could manage. 

Face down on his knees, he stayed that way for what felt like an eternity; his cell phone buzzed once, twice, three times, but he didn’t answer it, barely noticed it. Logic would have told him that it was probably Yosuke, maybe his uncle. The panic and guilt that were riding side-by-side on his shoulders drowned logic out; they kept shouting _it’s your parents it’s your parents_ , and that was the one thing that terrified Souji more than anything else.

Suddenly, he heard pounding footsteps; he tensed up, but before he could pull away, a body sat heavily down next to him, and he heard his name being gasped out between panting breaths. 

“Souji, dude, partner, _what’s wrong?_ ”

At the sound of Yosuke’s voice, panic and guilt quieted, and Souji realized that he wasn’t just shaking, he was sobbing. Then, suddenly, Yosuke’s arm was around his shoulders - it wasn’t exactly a hug, it’s _hard_ to hug a six-foot-tall person curled into a knees-and-elbows ball - but it was more than just a friendly shoulder pat, and Souji leaned into it. The more he tried to stop crying, the harder his tears fell. 

Yosuke didn’t know what was going on, but he could guess. There was a sick feeling in his stomach since _he’d_ caused this, _but at the same time, dammit, he was having fun. He was great. It was great. We were both having fun. He shouldn’t_ have _to freak out over it!_ All he could do was sit there, arm around Souji’s shoulders, wishing he could do more. 

Finally, face still buried against Yosuke’s shoulder, Souji began to talk. His voice was quiet, and he kept pausing to swallow a sob; he told Yosuke about the violin recital that had been haunting his nightmares. “I shouldn’t be doing this,” he choked out, his voice rising. “I shouldn’t be doing any of this, I shouldn’t have come here, I shouldn’t-”

“ _Bullshit!_ ”

The brunette’s voice cut across his rising panic, and Souji pulled back, looking startled. When he didn’t say anything, Yosuke continued. “Look, dude. Your family has issues. I don’t care if you’re happy with your parents’ great ‘plan’ for your life, or if you’re cool studying all the time, or whatever, that’s yours. But you should _never_ have to feel guilty about doing something you enjoy! You already give, like, 100 percent! And I _know_ you were enjoying it. Weren’t you?”

Souji wouldn’t meet his eyes, but he nodded, slowly. Yosuke put his arm back around his friend's shoulders, since he’d pulled away at Yosuke's outburst, and knocked their heads together, gently. “Dude. You’re sixteen. You deserve to do things you enjoy. Not everything you do, every second of the day, has to be productive, or be for your parents’ benefit.” He frowned, feeling frustrated. “I know I don’t know what you’re going through, and I know there’s probably a way better way to say this, but-”

Finally, the silver-haired boy looked up. His eyes were red, his cheeks pale, but he had a very faint, small smile on his face. “It’s fine.” He rubbed his sleeve across his face. “Thanks. No, really, thanks, I mean it.” His voice was shaky, but Yosuke was glad to see that he seemed to be finally coming around. Giving Souji’s shoulder one last squeeze, he pulled his arm back, and Souji sat up. “How did you find me?”

Scratching his nose, Yosuke shrugged, and Souji realized that the brunette's hair was dishevelled and plastered to the nape of his neck, and his uniform shirt looked like he’d run a marathon. “I went by your house, but Nanako said you hadn’t been home, so I came looking for you, especially when you didn’t answer your phone.”

“Oh.” Souji flushed. “I’m sorry-”

A laugh. “Don’t worry about it, partner.” Standing, he extended a hand; when Souji grasped it, he pulled his friend to his feet, as well. “I gotta go home and get a shower, and probably do some homework, but… you wanna walk back to your house, first?”

* * *

Souji forced Yosuke to come in, sit down, and drink a glass of water before he went home; it gave Nanako a chance to talk to them both for a bit before she went back to lay down, and it gave Yosuke a chance to catch his breath. Once his friend left, Souji took a long shower, himself; he hadn’t run anywhere, but his panic attack still made him feel sweaty and gross. 

It wasn’t until he was curled up on his couch, after dinner, that he thought to check his messages.

> hey partner where r u

> dude whats going on what happened

> Souji, where are you? Pls tell me ur ok.

Souji stared at the screen for a long time, and was still staring even after it had timed out.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 11 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so now that music is starting to matter, I _am_ starting to include actual bands and, later, songs. Can't help it. 
> 
> I have way too much fun writing text exchanges.

Yosuke walked home slowly, tiredly. He’d had to run home to drop off his and Souji’s instruments - _as if I can trust Ted not to lose or destroy them_ \- and then run to Souji’s house, _then_ down to the bookstore and shopping area, hoping he’d gone for food, or the shrine, and finally to the floodplain. _To be honest… I kinda figured he was there. I just really didn’t want to think I was right, that he was having such a hard time. I should kick myself for not getting there sooner. I just didn’t want to think it was my fault. Goddammit, Yosuke, you piece of shit_. He knew he wasn’t really at fault - he was smart enough to lay blame where it belonged - but that didn’t make him feel much better. 

Dodging Teddie when he got home, he headed upstairs. Resisting the urge to flop onto his bed and just sleep, he forced himself to put his instruments away and then head for the bathroom to take a shower. 

_Ugh. The day started out so good… dammit_. He closed his eyes, thinking back to the performance, how much it reinforced the idea that it was what he wanted to do with his life… perform, and play music. How good it had felt. _How good it felt with Souji up there, too_. 

Cold water ran through his hair, washing away the sweat and grime, and he took a deep breath as he watched it pool in rivulets on the floor, swirling through the drain. All he could think about was Souji, his voice, how comfortable he’d felt when they played together. He could still feel the pressure on his shoulder, a burning spot of warmth where Souji’s head had rested as he cried; he could still feel the softness of silver hair against his cheek, still _smell_ Souji, a faint mix of some simple, clean cologne and Souji's own scent.

 _Oh god_. 

It wasn’t really hard for Yosuke to come to terms with the fact that he was attracted to his new friend. That was kind of how Yosuke _rolled_ \- he’d meet someone, get to know them, start to help them, and along the way he’d develop a crush on them. It didn’t always work out, of course. Naoki had never ever seemed interested, for example, and as attractive as Sayoko was, he could smell _that_ danger miles away and avoided it as if it were a deathtrap. 

_This is different, though_. Yosuke frowned at the little voice inside his head. _Of course it is. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that_ even _if Souji had any sort of interest - and given how long it took him to warm up to me, it’s sooooooo unlikely - there’s no way his parents would approve of him being interested in guys. Especially a guy whose father is just the regional manager of some small-ass grocery chain and who doesn’t want to do anything more with his life than play music. They probably don’t want him interested in anyone, they’ll probably pick out some councilman’s daughter or something for him to marry. Maybe they already have_. 

Yosuke didn’t like that thought.

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and reached over to turn off the water. _Not a big deal. Sure, I like him, but it’s not like that means anything more than that he’s a good friend_.

 _Is that so?_ He shut the little voice up before it could say more, throwing his sweat-soaked uniform into the washing machine before flopping, boneless and face-down, onto his futon.

_The really important question, though… how do I help him?_

Dragging himself to the edge of his futon, he reached for his CDs. _So, he liked_ Butterfly… _hmmm_ …

* * *

Souji sat on his couch, staring at the grey sky, for the rest of the day. With Nanako sick and Dojima out, all he had to do was make rice porridge for Nanako for dinner; he did eat some rice, himself, but wasn’t really hungry.

Half an hour after dinner, his cell buzzed again. Souji almost didn’t answer it, but he was more in control of his anxiety by this point; slowly flipping the phone open, he saw it was a text.

He almost smiled.

> u doin ok partner

A sigh. _Not really, but… yeah? There’s no changing what is_.

> Kind of. Wish Nanako wasn’t sick. It’s really quiet here. Don’t really feel like playing. Can’t study.

He put the phone back in his pocket, but had barely had time to pull his hand back before it buzzed again. And again. And continued to buzz.

> dude no studying

> srly (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

> listen 2 sum music

> sleep

> eat sumthng

This time, he really did smile. _Yosuke really does try to take care of everybody_.

> Thanks. Maybe I’ll cook.

> ooo i like hamburg steak ~(＾◇^)/

> You’re in luck. I hear a lot of restaurants serve it.

> ok asshole

When he laughed, he realized he was feeling better - if not great, still okay.

> Yosuke, thanks. I mean it.

> nah i mean

> wat r partners 4 rite

For the first time, Souji realized he kind of liked the term. _Partners_. Smiling, he went downstairs to see if they had any ground beef.

* * *

Yosuke was glad to see that Souji seemed mostly back to normal when they met up to go to school the next morning, although neither mentioned the prior day. When lunch rolled around, he tapped Yosuke’s chair with his bento box.

“Want to share?” 

There was always the chance that Yosuke would have already made plans, but he’d been available to hang out a lot more recently, and Souji was glad when Yosuke’s face lit up.

“Hell _yeah_ , dude. Let’s go up to the roof.”

When his friend opened the box, Yosuke was momentarily surprised to see mouthwatering rounds of hamburg steak, along with rice and chopped salad. He looked up.

“Woah, dude, I was kidding, you didn’t have to do that.” Souji’s face fell, and Yosuke immediately bit his tongue _shit, not what I meant_ “Dude, seriously, I meant it, I love the stuff, I just wasn’t asking you to make it…”

“You’re not just saying that?” Silver hair slid across Souji’s neck as he tilted his head, looking critically at Yosuke, and Yosuke had to swallow hard.

 _Oh god self this is not the freaking time, for god’s sake_. He shook his head. “I don’t lie, partner.” His smile was hesitant, and after a moment, Souji responded with one of his own. 

To break the awkward silence, Yosuke clapped his chopsticks together, gave a cheerful “Itadakimasu!” and grabbed a piece of hamburger. _Of course it’s better than I expected. Why the hell is he so good at everything_. He wasn’t resentful, just wry.

“Dude, it’s amazing. You made all of this for me, right?” Grinning, he reached for the box, and Souji smacked his hand. 

“I could just bring enough for myself next time…” 

“Not fair!”

They ate in companionable silence, but as Souji put the lid back on the empty box, Yosuke could tell something was on his mind. 

“‘Sup, partner?”

Souji looked surprised. “How do you _do_ that?” A wry smile. “Nevermind. Yeah, so… Nanako’s birthday is this coming weekend. I was, um, thinking of bringing her to Junes, maybe buying a cake?”

Yosuke’s face lit up. “That’s a great idea, partner! We have birthday parties at Junes, sometimes. I’ll put in to reserve a table, that means we can break out the decorations, and they’ll even throw in some free drinks. You want the others to come?”

Looking more and more surprised, the silver-haired boy nodded, smiling slowly. “Yeah. Please. I don’t… have everybody’s number, so I can’t get ahold of them that easily…” 

This made Yosuke feel a little special. “Sure, I’ll get everybody up here after school and we’ll hammer out the details.” He whipped his phone out, and Souji was a little amazed at how fast the brunette managed to text everyone. 

After a thumbs up and a comment that everybody was up for it, Yosuke reached into his pocket. “Also. Here.” He pushed two cd cases at Souji, who looked at them in surprise as he took them. One was a commercial music disc, the other was a slim blank case. 

He looked at the commercial disc, first. “...Kagrra?”

Yosuke nodded. “Yeah. I can’t believe I forgot them at first, I really think you’ll like ‘em. _San_ is my favourite album of theirs.”

Souji nodded. “Okay, thanks. I trust your judgement.” He smiled, and Yosuke felt warm. “What’s this?” He held up the other disc. 

“I made a few edits last night to the Junes concert. Figured you’d want to watch it before you gave it to Nanako…” He trailed off, chewing the inside of his cheek. “I tried to make it good, so you don’t have to watch it if you’re not up to it…”

Souji’s eyes hooded ever-so-slightly, but he smiled and nodded. “I’ll be okay. Thank you. I’m sure it’s great, but I’ll watch it. Mind if I give it to her if it’s okay? Are the others okay with it?”

“Yeah, dude, are you kidding? We filmed it for her.” Yosuke smiled as they stood up to head back to class. “Teddie would be heartbroken if she didn’t get to see it.”

“I really do appreciate it. I feel kinda bad, I’ve been giving Teddie a hard time… he’s a little weird, though.”

Yosuke snorted. “Dude, _you have no idea_.” They both laughed, heading down the stairs back to 2-2. “He means well, though. And he really likes both you and Nanako.”

“Yeah. I appreciate it. Nanako really likes playing with him, too.”

* * *

“ _Big bro!_ ”

Nanako was fully recovered by the next weekend, and the whole group - to Souji’s surprise and gratitude - got completely into the idea of a birthday party for his little cousin. There were hand-painted signs saying “Happy Birthday, Nana-chan!” thanks to Teddie, Rise, and Yukiko (Nana-chan was Teddie's, the nicer handwriting was Yukiko’s, and the flowers were Rise's), and Naoto and Souji had brainstormed in the Dojima kitchen for two days while Teddie and Chie and Yosuke kept Nanako busy, playing at the floodplains, so that the two least-dangerous chefs in the group could cook. Yosuke had bought the nicest cake Junes had, Teddie had decorated it in his own image - Yosuke would have smacked him, but he knew Nanako was going to love it - and there was a small mountain of tiny, hand-knit dolls from Kanji. Chie said she felt bad not being to help with anything, so she showed up with a backpack full of snacks.

Souji had cleared the party with her father, then told Nanako they needed to pick up some stuff for dinner, and she went along cheerfully, not even guessing. When they got near the food court, she even closed her eyes at this request; he felt a squeeze of happiness when he realized just how much she trusted him. 

Taking her hand, he led her over to the group; when she was standing in front of the table they all shouted “Happy birthday, Nanako-chan!”; her eyes flew open and she covered her mouth, and her squeak of “ _Big bro!_ ” was so cute that everyone started to laugh. 

Souji lifted her into the seat of honour, in the middle of the group, and Teddie helped her blow out the candles. Yosuke whacked the back of his head.

“That’s not your cake, stupid!”

Nanako just laughed.

“It’s okay! Thank you, Teddie!” Teddie stuck his tongue out at Yosuke.

Between food and presents and jokes, the party sped by - Dojima-san had made Souji promise to only keep Nanako out for a few hours - and although Nanako gave a small sigh of regret when Souji told her that it was time to pack up and head home, she stood up readily enough, holding tightly to the stuffed animals Kanji gave her. 

“Ummm! Thank you so much!” She gave a little bow, and Rise, Chie, and Yukiko all exhaled a muffled “ _awwwwwwwwwwwww_ ” at the same time. Nanako beamed, continuing. “Big bro let me watch the concert! You guys were really really cool!”

“Aw, thanks, Nanako-chan!” Yosuke looked pleased as punch, Kanji turned red and rubbed the back of his neck, and the girls crowded around Nanako to give her hugs. Souji, also a bit red-faced, turned to help clean the table, but Yosuke shoved his shoulder. 

“Dude, this is your cousin’s day, so it’s yours, too. Don’t worry about this, we got it. Get her home so she doesn’t get sick again.” 

The two boys smiled at each other, and Souji ducked his head, feeling embarrassed. “Okay, well… thanks. I’ll text you later.”

Lifting the bag of gifts with one hand and taking Nanako’s hand with his other, he nodded to everybody, and after Nanako said goodbye, they headed home. Yosuke watched them go with a fond smile.

Finally, Chie hit his shoulder. 

“ _Dude_. Are you going to help us out, or just going to stare?” A sly grin crossed her face. “Falling in love already?”

Yosuke grimaced at her, pushing his bangs out of his eyes. “Pfft. As if.” He turned back to the table, picking up empty pocky boxes.

… _Yes._


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 12 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ouch.
> 
> Song is "XXX" off _Butterfly_ , by L'Arc en Ciel.

October was quiet, and for most of it, Souji and Yosuke became more and more inseparable. It was still an odd sort of friendship; Yosuke was fire and excitement and Souji was ice and awkwardness but it didn’t _matter_. Soon, they were at the point where they spent half the week together, either for lunch or after school. If Souji heard a few of the girls in their year whispering about “the sun and moon princes,” he ignored it.

More than once, Souji called an afternoon short because he was feeling too raw, too trapped, too anxious; Yosuke always gave him whatever space he needed despite hurting a little, inside, because he could only offer silent support. 

More than once, Yosuke got called away suddenly, sometimes to help a friend, but usually to fill in at Junes. The month was unexpectedly foggy - to the point of low-level paranoia and hysteria around town - and more and more part-timers were taking to calling out sick. Souji helped fill in, when he could. 

Still, there were just as many days or more where they lay, shoulder-to-shoulder, on Souji’s floor and listened to music from Yosuke’s staggeringly-large collection, or played a game with Nanako, or cooked dinner, or sat by the river, talking. 

Slowly, Souji started to relax. 

Slowly, he felt the cage in his heart creak, expand, open. Just a bit. 

Unfortunately, things were never meant to stay easy-going. Not in Inaba. Not _that_ year.

* * *

It started with Dojima-san.

One evening, Souji and Yosuke were sitting at the table, watching a TV show with Nanako; dinner was done and dishes were clean and they had hot tea, as it was already getting colder outside. To their surprise, the door opened, and Dojima-san walked in. 

Nanako, of course, ran to meet him. “Dad!” 

“Hey, Nanako.” He sounded genial, but tired. “I see we have visitors, is there any din-”

He’d been walking into the living room as he spoke; when he saw Yosuke, he stopped, and his face clouded.

“Hanamura.” 

_Oh shit_. Yosuke knew that Dojima suspected his team, suspected _something_. He and Chie had gotten caught pretty early on at Junes with some weapons, and ever since then, Dojima was not easily fooled when he saw them hanging around when _things_ were happening. Especially not when their friend group started to expand to include every single person that had gone missing recently in Inaba (with the exception of the senile gentleman who lived down the road from the textile shop and had been found in Okina feeding pigeons.) And now he was hanging out with Dojima’s nephew, and if Dojima was smart enough to know that the IT was up to _something_ , he knew that his nephew had a bruised soul.

Yosuke also knew that the police were just as aware as the Investigation Team that the serial killer hadn’t been caught. The fog wasn’t helping, either. 

He plastered a respectful smile on his face. “Hello, Dojima-san.”

Dojima grunted, sitting down on the couch. “So. You and my nephew have been spending an awful lot of time together lately.”

“Yes, sir.” He felt Souji looking between himself and Dojima, and prayed the detective would let it drop at that. 

“Mind telling me why?” _Ouch. There it is_.

Souji, who’d been frowning, shifted into a sitting position. “Because we’re friends. Is there a problem, uncle?”

“You tell me, Hanamura.” Dojima looked him straight in the eyes.

“No sir? Souji’s my friend.”

Dojima opened his mouth to say something more, but Nanako stood. “Dad, why are you fighting with big bro and Yosuke-nii?”

The familial nickname seemed to hit him hard - although Souji and Yosuke were used to it by now - and he opened and shut his mouth again, his face red. Finally, he shook his head. “We’re not fighting, but we will be if he ends up getting big bro into trouble. Am I clear?”

“Yes sir.” Yosuke’s heart was in his stomach and it took everything he had to keep from looking miserable. _I_ hate _having secrets from Souji, and I_ can’t _get him into trouble!_

There was an uncomfortable silence, broken by a clock striking the hour; Yosuke stood, shaking his head at Souji. “I should get home. Thanks for dinner. Good night, Dojima-san. Night, Nanako-chan.” 

Nanako still looked sad. “G’night, Yosuke-nii.” 

Souji followed Yosuke to the door. _What the hell is going on?_ When they stepped outside, he looked to his friend for some sort of explanation, but Yosuke was looking down at his feet. 

“Sorry, dude.”

“No, it’s… fine…” Souji lapsed into silence; he wanted to ask what was going on, but he knew Yosuke well enough by now to know that he wouldn’t answer if he didn’t want to. 

They stood like that for a moment, silent; finally Yosuke shrugged. “See you tomorrow.”

* * *

They met up in the morning, as usual, but this time Yosuke was the quiet one, and Souji could only watch, worried. Souji hadn’t brought lunch to share, and Yosuke was too busy to hang out after school.

He was too busy most days after that. 

It didn’t escape Souji’s notice that Yosuke was coming to school tired, more than once scratched up, as if he’d been in a fight. It also didn’t escape his notice that Chie and Yukiko were almost always gone the same afternoons as Yosuke. When he went looking for Rise, one afternoon, he realized that she, Kanji, and Naoto were also gone, and he bet Teddie was, too. 

_In short, everybody but me_. 

He tried to ask Yosuke about it one day, in class. Yosuke just gave an uncomfortable, off-hand remark about being shorthanded at the store; the conversation dropped after that. The conversation dropped a lot, but he often found Yosuke looking at him when he thought the silver-haired boy wasn’t watching. Souji didn’t know what to think, and the only things he _could_ think, he wouldn’t believe.

* * *

Souji was unhappy all of the time, now, and Nanako wasn’t far behind. After yet another afternoon where she asked, hopefully, if Yosuke-nii was coming over only to look dejected when Souji shook his head, Souji went upstairs to throw himself across his couch. 

_Can’t study, can’t play, what the hell is wrong with me. Everything sucks. What did I do wrong?_ He felt angry, angry towards Yosuke, towards Dojima, especially towards himself. _Of course Yosuke split, nobody likes being treated like a criminal_. 

With a sigh, he reached for his headphones, trying not to imagine a pair of red-orange ones he still saw, every day, draped over Yosuke’s neck. Sliding them over his head, he flicked on the cd player, which held a copy of the first CD he'd received. 

♪ _Step into fascination_  
_Trap of infatuation … kiss_ ♪

Although he usually only listened to the music, for some reason today the lyrics caught his attention. 

♪ _I get drunk with pleasure our spirits soar_  
_A sweet addiction 1 2 3 now I dream_  
_I need it... the kiss_ ♪

He thought about Yosuke. Until now, his worries had been that Yosuke was in some sort of gang - although, to be honest, the idea that Yukiko and Rise would also be in said gang was more than a little far-fetched, and he knew it. 

Now, he wondered if maybe Yosuke was off _with_ the girls. Or maybe the guys? He knew it didn’t bother Yosuke, either way. Maybe he was kissing one of them. Some of them. All of them. 

_In short, everybody but me_. 

♪ _Paradise lost my one wish_  
_Please close your eyes once again_  
_Put your lips to mine oh oh oh_  
_Darling so it's all over_ ♪

Suddenly, he sat upright, eyes wide open. _Wait, what the hell? What am I-_ He tore the headphones off his head, throwing them against the wall. _It’s nothing! I’m just mad that he’s not here. He’s my friend, I miss him_. A trembling feeling, heavy and aching, filled his stomach, and he curled up. _I’m not lonely, I won’t be lonely, it’s fine_ …

* * *

“Partner, I’m sorry, so sorry!” 

Souji looked up from where he was curled up on the couch. _Yosuke- what?_

“What’s going on?” He realized he’d fallen asleep. Somehow, Yosuke was standing in front of the couch, panting as if he’d run all over town, looking for him. _Nanako must have let him in_.

Yosuke dropped to his knees next to the couch, leaning forward to rest his forehead against Souji’s shoulder. Souji could smell him - sweat and sunshine and faint soap and _Yosuke_ , an echo of that day on the riverbank - and he closed his eyes, trying not to shudder. 

“I’m so sorry, partner. I’ve missed you, so much.” The brunette's voice was muffled.

 _I missed you too_. Souji couldn’t say it, he could only nod. Yosuke’s face was so close he could see the golden flecks in his eyes, and they were mesmerizing. 

They stayed that way for a split-second lifetime; the air was heavy, and the look in Yosuke’s eyes was indescribable. What it did to Souji’s stomach was indescribable, too. 

Then, they were no longer staring at one another. Yosuke made a noise of frustration and suddenly they were kissing; Yosuke’s lips tasted like sweat and faint traces of balm, Souji’s were dry, but neither cared. Souji had never kissed anyone before, and at this moment, he wondered why. _It’s amazing_. Then he realized why. _It’s amazing because it’s Yosuke_.

After far too short a time they broke apart; this time it was Souji who made the noise of frustration but Yosuke just pushed him back down, against the couch, before lying down next to him. The next few minutes were filled with feverish kisses, soft whimpers, hands roaming up shirts and, after a bit, down legs, and suddenly Yosuke was _touching him_ , and-

Souji jerked awake. Some time, during the night, it had started to rain; it was only just past midnight, and he figured that it must have been rain on the roof that woke him. Instinctively, he looked at his phone; nothing, no messages. 

Groaning, he leaned his forehead onto his hand. His futon was a mess, he didn’t realize anyone could _be_ this frustrated, and _what the hell just happened_. He grew cold, felt sick. _I just… had a wet dream about my best friend_. He was disgusted with himself, and at the same time, so very, very lonely.

* * *

He barely slept the rest of the night; the next day he felt groggy and completely out of it. Running late, nobody was waiting for him for the walk to school; not that it was a surprise. You could barely see three feet in front of your face these days, and who would want to hang around in that? 

When he got to school, he was actually _glad_ to see that Yosuke was already in his seat, too tired to acknowledge him beyond a “Morning, partner.” Hearing the word _partner_ just made him feel sick, and he spent the rest of the morning staring at a point just past the teachers’ heads, glad that no one called on him to answer anything. 

The whole crew disappeared almost immediately after class, but Souji didn’t want to go home, so he headed up to the roof to sit and think and try _not_ to think about Yosuke. His eyes fixed on his shoes, it wasn’t until he was halfway across the roof that he heard voices, that he looked up. That he found the entire group - Yosuke included - staring at him in surprise, having quickly stopped whatever discussion they’d been having. 

He stopped short, and _never_ had things felt so awkward, not even when he’d run into them at the summer festival. Everyone smiled, but the smiles didn’t reach their eyes, and for some reason they all looked sad, and nobody would meet his gaze. He looked to Yosuke, having forgotten about the night before, for the moment; he tried to smile. “Er. Hey.”

“Uh. Hey.” Yosuke wouldn’t meet his eyes, either, and Souji felt his heart freeze. In that moment, he was just... _done_. 

“You know what, _sorry_. Didn’t realize you guys were up here, or I never would have intruded.” Voice heavy, filled with anger, filled with _pain_ , he spun around, hurrying back towards the exit. 

Yukiko and Rise made noises of surprise and regret; Yosuke shouted “Wait! Partner!” and Souji heard footsteps running to follow him.

“ _Don’t call me that!_ ” He was mad, embarrassed, but worst of all, he was _hurt_. 

Yosuke inhaled sharply at this, his next shout sticking in his throat. _Goddammit! I just wanted… this to be over. I wanted to finish this so… so I wasn’t putting Souji into danger any more_. He heard Chie yelling behind him, but he didn’t care. “Souji! Stop!”

Souji made it out of school and halfway down the floodplain walk before Yosuke caught up with him, grabbing his wrist. The silver-haired boy tried to pull away, but Yosuke was strong, from months of working in the TV; he wouldn’t be shaken off.

“ _Let me go_.”

“No.” Yosuke had found his voice, and in that minute, he knew what he was going to do. _This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done and I very well may be ruining everything, but I don’t care_.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed his bangs out of his eyes. “Look. You have every right to be mad at me, I’ve been a shitty-ass friend these past couple of weeks. And I want to tell you why, right now, if you don’t mind going somewhere that’s not so…” He looked around. “Open.”

Souji stared at him, his expression the same one Yosuke knew from the first months after he’d moved to Inaba; his face was closed and cold and it made Yosuke's heart ache, but then a flicker of something different - something sad and small and hurt - flashed across the taller boy’s face and Yosuke had to bite his lip to keep the tears back. 

They stood like that for a split-second lifetime; finally, Souji jerked his hand away. “Nanako’s spending the afternoon with a friend, and Dojima-san won’t be home tonight.”

The pressure on Yosuke’s heart eased the tiniest bit, even though he knew the worst was to come. “Okay. Let’s go.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 13 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to cram so much into this chapter, but I didn't want to repeat stuff we already knew, and at the same time, I needed to highlight the differences. The next few chapters are going to be pretty action-packed, and some of them are going to be really sad (I'll leave warnings ahead of time), but in the end, I promise - it'll all work out.

They walked back to Souji’s house, neither saying anything; the silence between them was cold and as heavy as the fog that kept them from looking at each other’s faces. Yosuke felt miserable, _so_ miserable. _First, somebody showed up on TV and nobody knows who it is; second, I got that creepy letter; third, I hurt Souji. Goddammit, for all I hated his parents, now_ I’m _the one hurting him. Why couldn’t he have been one of the group?_

Souji didn’t know what to think. Part of him was already trying not to believe Yosuke, even though he hadn’t said anything; the other part kept replaying his dream last night, and he just felt sick. Still, he couldn’t think of any reason why Yosuke would _need_ to lie to him, so he kept quiet, and decided he’d at least listen. 

When they got to the house Yosuke went to sit at the table, in his usual spot; Souji made tea for both of them, sitting down in his own seat. They were silent as they sipped, and Yosuke immediately noticed that while Souji had regular green tea, he’d given Yosuke hojicha with one sugar cube - his favourite. Yosuke closed his eyes.

Before he could speak, Souji sighed. “Look. I’m not stupid. I know you stopped coming over after my uncle gave you the third degree. I don’t… blame you? I would hate to be treated like that, too.” Another sigh. “But you won’t talk to me outside of class, either… I can’t help but wonder… was uncle right? Are you avoiding me because you’re in trouble, and he told you not to get me involved?” His voice cracked, and Yosuke exhaled, heavily.

“Yes, and no. Not the way Dojima-san thinks. I don’t know if he really thinks we’re behind the murders, but he thinks we know more than we admit. Which, we do. We just don’t know what he wants to know, that’s what we’re trying to find out, too.” He looked down at his hands, calloused from wielding kunai for six months; looking back up, he forced himself to meet Souji’s cold, grey eyes, heavy with pain. “I know I-” A breath. “I know I don’t really have a right to ask you this, given how much I had to keep from you, but if you’ve ever believed me, please believe me now.”

Frowning, Souji looked down at his own hands. “I don’t-” His voice cracked again even as he felt the cage digging into his heart. “I don’t know. I’ll try.” _I want to. I just don’t know if I can_.

Yosuke nodded. “That’s all I can ask.” He very carefully bit back the word partner, even as his heart whispered it; he wasn’t going to make this harder, not right now. “It all started back when Mayumi Yamano died…”

* * *

“... and Naoto was the last one, you helped us there, when you told me about her run-ins with your uncle, and Adachi. Now somebody else is showing up on the Midnight Channel, and we don’t know who it is, and the fog shouldn’t _be_ here, and-” He pulled out the warning letter with no sender. “-now this.” 

Souji looked at it, recognizing, at least, that it wasn’t Yosuke’s handwriting. He closed his eyes. The agony in Yosuke’s voice was real, he knew that. His immediate response was to want to reach out, touch his friend’s shoulder, do whatever he could to help, although he didn’t, instead tightening his hands into fists against his knees, thinking. _It’s crazy. It’s absolutely insane, but how would seven people be hallucinating the same thing? They’re all in on it. Nobody thinks Yosuke is crazy, or is trying to humour him. It makes… so much sense, too. Why people kept showing up in his group, more and more. Why they kept things from me. But how is such a thing possible? It’s not. It can’t be_.

He opened his eyes. “It’s… crazy. How is anything like that real?” 

“I know.” Yosuke closed his eyes, brushing his bangs out of his eyes; Souji’s heart clenched, but he ignored it. “I _know_ , dammit, I know how unbelievable it is, but it’s real, we jump into a TV and fight monsters to rescue people kidnapped by some crazed murderer, and we don’t know who it is.”

Yosuke hadn’t even finished his sentence when the front door opened; they both froze, looking at one another wide-eyed, as Dojima strode in. “So you _do_ know something about what’s going on.”

 _Oh my god, no_. Yosuke waved his hands in a gesture of defense. “Dojima-san, it’s not what it sounds like-”

The detective’s eyes were blazing. “It _sounds_ like, despite my warnings, you’re trying to recruit my nephew into whatever weird, sick scheme you’ve got going on. I didn’t want to believe it was you kids, but you clearly know something, even if all you can do is spout some stupid fantasy story to make it sound cool.” 

“Hell no!” Yosuke finally lost his cool, even though he knew, deep down, that shouting at Dojima-san wouldn’t help. “I’m _telling_ him why I haven’t been able to spend any time with him lately! Why I’ve been staying away from him, even though I _hate_ it, it _sucks_ , I miss my friend! I _didn’t_ want to get him into trouble, so I’ve been keeping away from him, and do you know how much that _hurts?_ ”

Souji stared, wide-eyed, at Yosuke; Dojima looked startled at the outburst, and a flicker of something almost warm flitted across his face before his features hardened again. Reaching over, he grabbed the warning letter, although Souji tried to get to it first.

“What’s this? Look, Hanamura, I don’t care what nonsense you’ve been telling Souji, but you clearly know more about this case than you’ve been willing to tell me. You’re coming down to the station with me. Souji, you’re staying here.”

“No!” Souji stood up, hands balled into fists at his side. “I believe him, uncle. You can’t do this!” Yosuke’s eyes widened, and he looked away. _It’s crazy, but Yosuke would not lie to me_. He remembered the brunette’s eyes, the day he made hamburg steak, when Yosuke had murmured, “I don’t lie.” _I trust him_. 

Dojima looked surprised, then disappointed, then hurt, then regretful. “Look.” His voice was low, almost soft. “I know how much you two boys care about each other, but the fact remains that Hanamura is involved in something that has killed three-”

“- _two_.” Yosuke gritted his teeth, and Dojima looked startled. 

“ _Murders_ , goddammit Hanamura, _shut up!_ Either way, it’s dangerous, and I’m not letting family get mixed up in something that could hurt them!” Warning letter in one hand, he grabbed Yosuke’s arm with the other. “You. Coming with me. Now.” 

“Uncle, no! Yosuke...”

Yosuke looked at Souji with a small smile that was meant to be reassuring, but only made Souji’s heart clench again. “It’s okay. We’ll get this sorted out. Don’t worry about me. You can let go, Dojima-san. I won’t run. I’ll be back, partner. I promise.”

* * *

The door closed behind them and Souji sank to the floor, wrapping his arms around his knees. _Why did I do that, why did I let uncle take him?_ He wanted to punch something, but he couldn’t move, and he realized in the back of his mind that punching something would probably just make things worse. Bile rose in his throat, even as his mind whirled and he tried to make sense of everything; it was crazy and fantastic and awful, but he knew that Yosuke wouldn’t lie to him. 

Finally, he stood up. His cell hadn’t buzzed, no one had shown up, _I can’t just stand here and do nothing_. Grabbing his coat and keys, he ran outside, then started off towards the police station. 

When he got there, he found that Dojima-san had anticipated him, and had already warned the front desk. They wouldn’t even acknowledge that Dojima or Yosuke were there, although Souji had seen his uncle’s car outside. He waited around for a good hour, hoping to see someone - anyone - and finally, Adachi came out. 

“Look, kid.” He sounded reluctant. “I get that you’re here for your friend, but he’s not going anywhere tonight, so you’re wasting your time. You should go home. After all, isn’t Nanako-chan home alone? You don’t worry about her?”

The words hit Souji like a punch in the gut. _That’s right, Nanako… she’s supposed to be home- oh, shit, she was supposed to be home an hour ago!_ Usually, he wouldn’t be so worried about her being home alone, but Yosuke’s story had shaken him, and the idea that _someone_ was in danger made him terrified for his little cousin - _sister_ \- and he paled. “Just… dammit… okay, but I’ll be back if I don’t see Yosuke by tomorrow!”

* * *

He ran all the way back to the house, even as he started to realize, halfway there, that he was probably overthinking things, there really was no reason why Nanako would be a target, or that it would be anyone they knew-

 _oh my god_.

Just as he ran up to the house he saw a delivery van pull away, tires squealing, almost overturning. The door was open; he didn’t even think to pause as he ran inside, screaming “ _NANAKO!_ ”

There was no answer. The TV was on, her shoes were by the door, her backpack in its usual spot. Hands shaking, stomach cold, pulse racing, he fumbled with his phone, dropped it, dialed his uncle, misdialed, hung up, cursed, and dialed again. 

_Come on, come on, come on_ …

There was no answer, and he felt tears fill his eyes as he hung up, immediately dialing Yosuke’s number. The minute he hit send, he heard a commotion at the front door; striding forward, he opened it, praying _praying_ that he was wrong, that Nanako had gone outside, forgotten her shoes, _anything_ …

It was the rest of the Investigation Team.

Chie opened her mouth to say something but Naoto, seeing the look on Souji’s face and the fact that he had a phone to his ear, put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. 

The call connected, but it wasn’t Yosuke. It was Dojima. “ _Souji, I told you to stay_ -”

“ _Uncle!_ ” His voice was raw, shaking. “Nanako’s gone! She’s been kidnapped!” All around him he heard gasps, a cry of “No!” from Rise; on the other end of the phone, Dojima swore.

“Souji Seta, if this is a joke- what happened? Tell me everything.”

As much for the group around him as for his uncle, Souji explained everything, the van he’d seen, the open door, Nanako’s things scattered around. Things got confusing, then; by the time his uncle hung up, all Souji could be certain of was that they were tracking the van, and that his uncle was in pursuit. He had no idea what had happened to Yosuke. 

Hanging up, he finally looked around at the group, his expression vulnerable and lost. “Yosuke told me everything,” he choked out. “Please… help Nanako.” He staggered, but Kanji managed to throw an arm around his shoulder, steadying him. 

“Of course!” Chie pumped her fist. “We know he was headed towards downtown, so let’s go! Leave it to us, Souji-kun!”

“I’m coming with you.” He locked the door even as Kanji protested. 

“Senpai, you should stay-”

Naoto, who’d been watching Souji, cut him off. “He should come with us. We’ve kept enough from him, I think we all owe him an apology… and if Leader trusts him, well…”

* * *

Yosuke could hear the whole conversation - it wasn’t like Souji was trying to be quiet - and at the words “ _Nanako’s gone_ ,” his heart sank into his stomach. _Oh my god, that’s why the figure on TV was so small… how could we have missed it?_ He wanted to kick the table, but knew that now, more than any time, he had to be calm and collected.

Somehow managing to avoid Adachi, Yosuke made it outside and headed for the rendezvous point Naoto texted him, but as he got closer to the checkpoint, he saw black smoke and the hair on the back of his neck prickled. _Something’s very wrong_ … 

Coming closer, he saw Dojima’s car overturned, smoke pouring out of the hood; the delivery van they’d been chasing was half in a ditch, a TV visible through the open back.

A TV that Naoto put her hand against, making sure it worked - that was the detective prince, always looking to make sure she had the facts straight.

A TV that Souji, with a yell of anguish, threw himself through as soon as Naoto touched it. Chie tried to intercept him, but somehow, he dodged her, and no one else was fast enough to catch him. 

“ _SOUJI!_ ” Yosuke screamed his friend’s name, stomach sick, as he barrelled forward; he made it to the group but they were aware, now, and Kanji managed to grab him before he could throw himself in, as well. “Let me go!”

“Don’t be stupid!” Naoto had pulled away from the TV and was looking angry at herself, and at him. “It’s your fault that he even knew he _could_ go through! Now, you’re just going to throw yourself in after him? You _know_ we never go in any place other than Junes!” 

“But Souji-!” Yosuke struggled against Kanji, who wouldn’t let go; finally, he slumped. “You’re right.” He closed his eyes. “Okay. We’ll…” he swallowed. “We’ll go in and get him with Nanako. At least they’ll be together.”

“But _senpai_ , you’re wrong!” Rise, who’d been with an unconscious Dojima, sounded almost hysterical. “Entry doesn’t change per TV, it changes per location! If Nanako-chan was sent through at Souji-senpai’s house, and he went in here, they’ll be in two completely different places! That’s why we always have to go in at Junes, because those TVs never move!” 

Yosuke slumped to the ground, crouching as he wrapped his arms around his knees. _Oh my god. Souji… I’m so sorry… I never should have gotten you wrapped up in all this_ … 

It was still drizzling, and everyone was silent as they stared at one another. They could hear ambulence sirens in the distance, and when Adachi ran up, Naoto took him to the van to go over the clues that they’d found, but Yosuke couldn’t hear, couldn’t _process_ any of it. 

Finally, Jiraiya whispered in his mind, and he snapped out of it. _I can’t fall apart… I’m the only person_ \- we’re _the only people_ \- _who can save Souji, and Nanako_. Standing, he looked around. “Guys, I’m sorry…”

Chie just put a hand on his arm; the medics ran up, bundling Dojima onto a stretcher, but before they could carry him into the ambulence, he croaked out Yosuke’s name. “Hanamura!”

 _I can’t handle much more of this_. Yosuke didn’t let it show on his face, but just jogged over to the stretcher. “Yes, sir?”

The detective’s face was twisted in pain, but Yosuke was certain that very little of his physical injuries were even registering right now - it was all Nanako. “I don’t… believe you. But.” He looked around. “I know you didn’t do it. And you found the others. Find Nanako.” His voice choked and he grabbed at the brunette’s hand. “Please!” 

_And Souji_. Yosuke swallowed, not wanting to tell Dojima that his nephew was gone now, too. “Yes. I will. I swear it.” 

That was enough for Dojima, who let his head fall back against the stretcher; the medics bundled him into the ambulance and it sped off as the rest of the team surrounded Yosuke. 

“We’ll find him, Yosuke. We’ll find both of them.” Chie put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “You’re still a freaking _idiot_ to tell him about us-”

“-but I figured you’d do something of the sort,” Naoto concluded. “And it wasn’t easy or fair for any of us to keep these kind of secrets from Souji-senpai and expect him to not get hurt. We’ll go in tomorrow; I doubt we’ll have any trouble finding their locations.” She looked around as Rise sobbed Nanako’s name into her hands. “For now, we should go home and leave this place to the police; we have to rest so we can be ready to go into the TV tomorrow.”

Everyone nodded, looking half-dazed; they took their leave of each other and Yosuke slowly headed home, Teddie in tow. For once, the boy wasn’t chattering; he could tell how upset “Sensei” was. 

_Goddammit. I can’t wait around. I can’t leave Souji there. He’s already so hurt_ … He shuddered, thinking of the others’ shadow worlds. _I can only imagine what the shadows will pull out to torment him_ …

* * *

_Where the hell am I?_ Feeling like he’d just run a marathon and fallen down a cliff at the same time, Souji slowly pushed himself to his feet. There was fog everywhere, and at first he thought he was still in Inaba, but as he started to walk and saw nothing - no streets beneath his feet, no stores, no shrine, no people, no sky, no _anything_ , he started to remember what had happened back at the crash site. 

_Nanako_. He shivered. They’d run and run, barely gasping shared information as they sped downtown, through the shopping district. Arriving at the edge of town, they weren’t prepared for the sight that greeted them, the wreck; he was terrified for his uncle, but even more terrified for Nanako, and the TV in the back of the open vehicle just served to reinforce the realization that what Yosuke had been telling him was _true_. 

_What happened next?_ It was fuzzy even to him; he shook his head to clear it, since the fog was making him feel sleepy and sick. _Kanji was trying to hold me up, hold me back, but I saw Naoto touch the TV… saw it ripple… realized that’s where Nanako was… Ugh_. He had to stop for a moment to catch his breath. _Chie almost caught me, damn she’s fast, but I managed to get through, anyway… but… where am I?_

Looking around, he shook his head. _But… where is Nanako?_ He wanted to call her name, but something about the oppressive fog - the distant shadows shifting on the horizon, like indistinct buildings against a sickly sunset horizon - made him want to keep his mouth shut. Instead, he kept walking.

Eventually, after what felt like hours, he realized that he was inside some sort of room or building, although he couldn’t see it and had no recollection of entering any structures. _I can’t keep walking_ … he staggered, once, then fell to his knees. _So tired_.

He knelt like that for what felt like hours, exhausted. The silence was so stark he could almost hear the fog drifting; slowly, he curled up into a ball. _Nanako… Yosuke… uncle_ …

“Woooooooow. You really _aren’t_ good at anything other than fucking up, are you?”

Souji’s head jerked up and he looked around. “Who- who’s there?” The voice sounded eerily familiar, _but it can’t be_. 

“Ahahaha, wow. Oh, wow. This is going to be fun, although I have to say - it’s really embarrassing to know that you came from somebody so pathetic.” 

It sounded exactly like him - only ramped up to “maniacal” with a side of “asshole” - and he remembered, vaguely, what Yosuke had said about the others’ shadows. His head hurt, though, and it was so _foggy_ , and he couldn’t remember anything important; clenching his hands into fists, he looked around. 

“If- if you’re going to taunt me, at least come out where I can see you.” He knew his voice was shaking, somehow knew his unseen tormentor would pick up on it. He strained his eyes, sure that the darkness in front of him was coalescing into something stronger; suddenly, his eyes widened as a figure stepped forward.

It was almost like looking in the mirror. Silver hair, a pale, sharp chin, long arms and lanky legs. It wasn’t wearing his school uniform; no, it was dressed in an impeccable charcoal-grey suit, black dress shirt, and silver tie - a perfect outfit for a power-player, a lawyer or politician, corrupt and untouchable. Long fingers reached up to loosen the tie, unbuttoning the top button of the shirt; cruel lips curved into a smirk as they watched him tremble. The only difference were the eyes - luminescent gold, burning with a malevolent glee. 

“Hello, Souji.” It grinned. “I’m your better half.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **hojicha** \- roasted green tea


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 14 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning - I'm really bad at writing fight scenes. This whole chapter isn't... _quite_ what I wanted, but what I wanted was too cinematic and I'm not really good enough to capture it, but I hope it gets the point across!
> 
> Don't think I didn't realize that Izanagi's attacks are lightning with a weakness to wind, and Yosuke's the exact opposite. Yes, I know it's because of game mechanics... but I prefer this explanation.

Walking up to his house, Yosuke unlocked the door, shakily - his parents still didn’t trust Teddie enough with a key. The lights were off, as expected; dragging himself into the kitchen - heart and stomach sick, feet heavy with worry - he saw the expected notes from his parents. 

“ _Working late. Might not be home tonight_.”

The idea of making dinner, going up to his room, trying to _sleep_ while Souji - _his Souji, however he’d never dare say that to his friend_ \- was stuck in hell with his own shadow was something he couldn’t handle, and he ground his teeth. _They_ … - they being the IT - _never made me promise not to go alone_ …

He knew it was stupid, even more stupid than telling Souji about everything, but _goddammit fuck it all. I dealt with Chie’s shadow by myself, with just Teddie’s help...and Teddie wasn’t even able to fight, then_. He chewed his lip, then turned to see Teddie watching him.

“Sensei…” He looked sad. “I’m worried about Nana-chan and Sou-kun.”

“You and me both, bear. You know… neither of us have to work tomorrow, and it’s not a school day. Whaddya say we go find Souji? If it’s too big or too dangerous I swear I’ll leave, or I’ll send you to get the others, but I just can’t… leave him like that…” His hands started to shake as he clenched them into fists.

“Sensei, that’s not safe!” 

“I _know_ , okay! But, we faced Chie’s shadow, didn’t we? I didn’t even have multiple personas then, just Jiraya.” _Fuck. I’m actually begging_. He started to look down at his feet, but then Teddie put a hand on his shoulder.

“I understand, Sensei, just promise you’ll wait for the others if it’s too dangerous!”

Yosuke looked up, inhaling sharply. “You’ll come with me?”

“Of course I will! Besides, I know beary well that you’d just go by yourself if I didn’t.”

Yosuke winced at this. _He’s right_. “All right. I think we can just make it before they close… let’s hurry. And… thanks.”

“You’ll owe me some topsicles if this works!”

“Heh. Yeah, as many boxes as you want, provided I still have money for Christmas gifts afterwards.”

* * *

If Souji’s biggest fear was his parents, it was only because he didn’t know about the shadow - the build up of self-hatred and loathing, everything his parents wanted him to become - that was inside him. That ignorance was quickly being remedied as he crouched on the floor, arms wrapped around his knees, trying not to look, not to listen to the cold and charismatic bastard sitting in front of him.

Shadow Souji was seated in a chair - a very familiar chair, as it was the one his father used in his study whenever his family was actually at home - with his legs crossed, one hand drumming fingertips on the chair arm, the other hand over his mouth to half-hide his many smirks and sneers. It had been needling him for what felt like hours, now. 

“I mean, shit. From the beginning, all you could do was study, and you've been ignoring _that_ lately. You gave up music - it’s clearly nothing you cared _that_ much about - and now your precious “ _real_ ” baby sister is lost. Probably dead. It’s all your fault, so yeah. You’re _really_ good at fucking up.”

Souji curled more tightly around himself with visions of Nanako, dead, flashing through his head. His sobs seemed to please his shadow, whose eyes flashed even brighter. 

“Things were so much easier when you pretended not to care, then Nanako and fucking _Yosuke Hanamura_ had to come along and remind you that you had a heart. Nanako’s taken care of, but speaking of Yosuke Hanamura…”

... _no… not Yosuke… leave him alone_...

* * *

They weren’t sure who found Souji first, Yosuke or Teddie, but Yosuke was glad it didn’t take very long. He looked at his watch. _Shit. It’s been… an hour? Two hours, almost. Goddammit, Souji, you’d better be okay_ …

He didn’t know what he was expecting from Souji’s dungeon - especially since there was no midnight channel for Souji, which meant that there was no hype of publicity waiting for him. _I wonder if that’s what determines how detailed a dungeon is_. A shrug. He’d figure that out later.

Still, a well-to-do city home was not what Yosuke had expected. Turning, he looked at Teddie. “Are you sure this is right?”

“Yep.” Teddie looked unfazed, and pointed to a mailbox, which read “Seta”. 

_Oh. Shit. This must be his parents’ house_. Yosuke shivered, unintentionally. _Well, I guess that makes sense_. 

He pushed open the door, pausing to see what it was like inside. “Hey. Bear. Do you sense any shadows?”

“Not really.” Teddie’s voice was hesitant. “I sense a really strong one, and I sense Sou-kun, but everything else… it’s weird. It’s like… maybe… nobody knows Sou-kun is here except you and me? The shadows haven’t found him, yet. Still, that one I sense… it’s pretty strong. It’ll draw more, soon.”

 _Shit_. “Okay. Let’s take a look.” 

They walked through a house that looked like a showcase model, it was so sterile. It was hard to see all the details, and there were odd things sitting around - such as burning violin in the fireplace - that Yosuke was _pretty_ sure were only there because it was the shadow world; he doubted Souji’s parents used musical instruments as kindling. They were horrible, but not caricature villains.

 _Still… Teddie said, way back when, that these places reflect the reality of the people who create them_. He listened to how silent and empty the house was, and suddenly had the realization that _this is what Souji dealt with all day, every day. There’s not even a family picture in this house. God_ dammit _how could his parents think this is any kind of life?_

It wasn’t until they got to a door towards the back of the house that Yosuke began to hear voices. Teddie opened his mouth to say something, but Yosuke put a hand up; he wanted to listen.

“but speaking of Yosuke Hanamura…”

Suddenly, he realized that Souji was sobbing, and _no. He’s suffering enough… I don’t want him to have the others hear this, it'll ruin any confidence he’s built up_ …

Teddie tugged his sleeve more urgently this time, and Yosuke pulled him back so their voices wouldn’t carry into the closed room. “ _What?_ ”

Putting his mouth to Yosuke’s ear, Teddie murmured, “Sensei… I think we should get the others. It’s not midnight, I’m sure at least Chie and Kanji are up! Maybe Nao-chan, too!”

Biting his lip, Yosuke was suddenly glad that Rise wasn’t here - he was pretty sure that when Kanzeon was out, she could read his mind. He nodded. “Yeah. Go get them. I need to stay here to make sure nothing happens to Souji.”

Teddie _looked_ at him, and Yosuke was certain he could see through Yosuke and was going to refuse to leave without him, but suddenly, he nodded. “Okay, Sensei. I know you won’t do anything to get yourself into trouble, we couldn’t rescue Nana-chan without you!” 

Yosuke winced as Teddie ran off. _Forgive me, everybody. Souji. I just can’t let this go on… I’ve done everything up to this point based off what I feel is right, and right now… I feel like I can’t leave Souji alone. He needs to know he’s_ not _alone_. He looked around, then headed back to the room, slowly opening the door, just a sliver.

When he saw Souji’s shadow, his jaw hit the floor - _holy shit, he’s hot_ \- but then, he saw the _real_ Souji rocking back and forth on the floor, and all thoughts of his shadow fled his mind. All he wanted was to rush in to protect his friend, but he knew he’d have to think up a plan, first. He just hoped Souji would forgive him for hearing his secrets.

* * *

“Aha, you don’t want me to talk about your precious Yosuke, do you?” The shadow smirked. “How funny you are. It’s pretty drastic to go from hating someone with every fibre of your being to worshipping the ground they walk on, isn’t it?” A pause to smile, cruelly, as Souji’s head shot up, his eyes wide with tears and agony. “I mean, I guess it makes some sort of sense, falling in love with the person who reminded you that you have a heart, but you do realize that this just means the rest of your life is really going to suck, isn’t it?”

.. _shut up just shut up, I already know you stupid piece of shit_ … None of Souji’s comments were spoken aloud, but he didn’t need to say them for the shadow to hear. It smirked again.

“Of course, you could always just go back to the way it was. Ice isn’t hard to find, it’s just frozen water. Go back to ‘fuck this town,’ ‘fuck these people,’ ‘fuck Yosuke Hanamura,’ just not in the way that has him panting, begging, or moaning your name.” A quick pause to see the red completely suffuse Souji’s face. “Follow your parents’ wishes, be set for life. You’ll be a lawyer, a politician, _dipshit_. Do you _really_ think I’m going to be faithful to whatever piece of milquetoast our parents set us up with? Fuck that. Nobody will dare to touch me, I can fuck whatever girls I want. Whatever boys I want.”

Souji just closed his eyes. _This isn’t real. It’s just a nightmare_. 

“Mmmm, that’s another reason you envied Yosuke, isn’t it? Still do. I can feel it - remember, I’m _you_. You hate that he doesn’t have to conform to the sexual orientations your parents shoved down your throat. After all, you’d probably get packed off to some sort of reformation camp if you let them know you were in love with another guy, especially some little nobody from the sticks.”

* * *

Yosuke’s mouth was open again. _Wait, WHAT? Holy shit did what wait, is there a chance, oh god is he making this up?_ Jiraiya snapped at him, and he winced. _None of that matters, not right now. Right now, I need to- wait, what’s he doing?_

* * *

Souji had staggered to his feet, and the shadow grinned. “Oh, this is _nice_. I’m glad to see I still know how to push your buttons. So, how about this? In the end, you know it’s not going to work. You only think you love Yosuke because you think he can free you from your parents. What would that music-obsessed washout ever be able to do against them?”

Clenching his fists, Souji squared his shoulders. “Shut up.”

It didn’t even daunt his shadow. “Even if you two ran away together, you’d get tired of him; you can’t _love_ anyone, you know that already. Even if he loved you, well… Yosuke already loves _everyone_ , doesn’t he? He only gives a shit because you’re broken. He’d have to fix you to get anywhere with you - remember the panting, begging, moaning your name thing? - but he won’t _want_ you once you’re fixed.”

Yosuke couldn’t stand this. He swung the door open, but Souji was too focused on the shadow to notice him, and if the shadow noticed him - he was pretty sure that it did - it made no immediate motions.

“It’s not like you’ve got enough of a heart to love _anybody_ , and it’s not like _you’re_ interesting enough to be loved.” Shadow Souji smirked, turning his head towards the door. “Isn’t that right, Yosuke?”

 _Fuck_.

Souji whirled around, horror written across his face; when he saw Yosuke standing in the door, he threw his hands up. “No! No, it’s not true, it’s not true, don’t listen-”

“What’s _wrong_ , Souji? You know you’d never tell him, but that’s okay, that’s _why I’m here_. After all… I’m you, so I know.”

Yosuke knew what his friend was going to say. He knew he probably had a chance to stop Souji - Jiraiya _did_ have the ability to silence - but he remembered Kanji yelling at them in Naoto’s dungeon. _He has to get this out, or he’ll never heal, never come to terms. And whether or not what he said was true, I want him to heal_ … _and if it_ is _true_ … He flushed. _Later_.

Souji didn’t notice Yosuke's silence, or if he did, he mistook it as disapproval; with panic in his voice, he screamed, “ _You’re NOT me!_ ” His shadow started to laugh.

When the writhing darkness cleared, Souji’s shadow stood, towering over them both. It was a good thing that the Shadow World was really a liminal space, since the shadow would have been far too large for a small study in the real world. He still looked like Souji - just as the others’ shadows had still looked like them - but he had a robotic face, torn suit sleeves, ragged trousers, and a massive sword. He looked like a cross between the crisp shadow-lawyer and a yakuza brawler. 

Calling out Jiraiya - who came immediately, faster than he ever had before - Yosuke stepped between his friend, on the floor, and his friend’s shadow. _Finally. Something I can actually do to help him_.

The shadow threw its head back, mocking him. “We were _so close_ , Yosuke. Do you think I don’t know your weaknesses?”

Expecting some sort of scan, Yosuke tensed; he was caught off-guard when the shadow _writhed_ and suddenly everything was white hot, _burning_ , and _oh my god, lightning, this cannot be happening_ … he felt dizzy, and useless, and behind him he heard Souji cry out.

“No!”

Jiraiya was helpless when Yosuke was on the floor, and as the shadow stalked towards him - sword held high - he struggled to get up. _I can’t do this, I can’t die, I can’t let Souji die, goddammit Jiraiya what the hell_ …

Suddenly, the shadow staggered, giving Yosuke an opportunity to roll _away_ and to his feet, and he realized that Souji was wrapped around one of the shadow’s legs. Suddenly, Yosuke remembered _why_ he was fighting, _what_ he was fighting for, and _why_ he was the IT’s leader. He realized _why_ Souji’s shadow had lightning attacks - because they were two sides of a coin, he and Souji - opposites, but partners. They completed each other, even as they knew each others' weaknesses - _were_ each others' weaknesses.

Standing straight, he held his kunai in a battle stance. “I already knew Souji hated me when we first met.” He made sure his voice was pitched so that Souji could hear him, not just his shadow. “I knew he hated me, but I didn’t care. I wanted to know him, and now that I do… _I’m not letting you have him back!_ ” Throwing out an arm, he pointed. “Jiraiya! Garudyne!”

He threw every ounce of his power into it, and the column of wind was strong enough that the entire study disintegrated into a storm of papers and shreds of shadow. As the wind died, and papers drifted around them like feathers, Souji’s shadow - the man, not the monster - slumped to the floor. When Yosuke turned, he saw that Souji was also slumped over. 

Running to his friend’s side, he offered a hand; Souji looked like he didn’t want to take it, but he did, and Yosuke helped him stand, then turned him to face his shadow. Hands on Souji’s shoulders, he leaned in.

“You’re _not_ worthless. You _can_ love - look at Nanako - and you can be anything you want. You _don’t_ have to follow your parents’ path. I’ll _always_ be your partner, _you’ll_ always be my best friend; you’re the most interesting guy I’ve ever met.” He gave Souji’s shoulder a squeeze. “We’ll figure out how you can handle your future, I promise.”

Souji’s shoulders started to shake. _Oh my god_. He was terrified, now that Yosuke had seen the worst parts of himself, but now… somehow… _Yosuke’s okay with it_. He accepted Souji. As the silver-haired boy put his hands up to cover his face, his shadow did, too.

Yosuke realized that the shadow was crying, as well. _I see. That’s the part of Souji that wanted to reject everything; it was just as terrified as he was_. “You’re more than your shadow, but your shadow is part of who you are. It’s okay to be afraid… and it’s okay to want something different. You’re allowed to find your own path.”

“Yeah.” Much like that day by the river, Souji wiped his face, looking up; his voice was small as he looked at his shadow. “I wouldn’t say you’re my better half… but yeah. You’re part of me. I can’t keep denying you’re there if I want to make things better for both of us.”

The shadow raised its head, giving a little smile; Yosuke felt his heart flip at the softness in its eyes as it disappeared, and Souji’s persona - tall and imposing, like his shadow, but with a kindness behind the robot eyes, an outfit that almost looked like a ouendan uniform, but somehow more regal, and a naginata - appeared above his head.

“Izanagi,” Souji murmured, his eyes wide. Then Izanagi disappeared, and Souji slumped forward into Yosuke’s arms, unconscious.

For a moment, Yosuke just held him. _Thank god. The others are going to kill me, but… we made it. I didn’t die, Souji is safe… and he’s got a persona now. He can come with us, if he wants_. He was exhausted, but that thought made him smile.

 _And… he likes me?_ It was a thought Yosuke couldn’t wrap his mind around. _And I shouldn’t think about it, not while Nanako is missing_.

Still, his steps were lighter than he expected as he staggered towards the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **yakuza** \- japanese organized crime groups  
>  **kunai** \- dagger-like weapons that can also be used as pitons, throwing darts, and spear heads  
>  **naginata** \- long polearm with a curved sword-like top  
>  **ouendan** \- cheer squad, male uniforms are usually long happi coats and long cloth headbands


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 15 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A mini-interlude.

Just as they were approaching the front door, it burst open; the entire team poured in, panting, headed by Chie and trailing Teddie and Rise. Yosuke paused, trying not to drop Souji; the group skidded to a stop, and they all blinked at each other for a long moment.

Teddie broke the silence. “Sensei! You _promised!_ ”

At this, Rise burst into tears; Chie balled her fists and shook them both at Yosuke. “ _You stupid idiot! Moron! I oughta kick you into the next century!_ ”

“Holy- Chie, calm the fuck down!” Yosuke started to get angry, but then realized that there were tears in her eyes. Stopping himself, he took a deep breath, staggering under Souji’s weight; Kanji ran forward to catch the silver-haired boy before Yosuke could drop him.

“Woah there, senpai.” There was a moment while Kanji and Yosuke adjusted Souji between their shoulders, then Kanji frowned, looking at the ground. “Chie-senpai is right, dude. You did a really stupid thing.”

“I _know_.” Yosuke’s voice was heavy. “I’m sorry, okay? I know it was stupid, but I couldn’t exactly wait…”

Beside him, Souji stirred, lifting his head. “Yosuke saved my life.” His voice was quiet and gravelly, and they’d all been around enough to tell when someone was emotionally drained; Chie frowned, looking down as Souji continued. “I know it was probably a stupid thing to do, but… I’m grateful.” He turned a warm gaze on Yosuke before looking away, embarrassed; Yosuke flushed, and Chie coughed. 

“We’ll yell at you tomorrow. Right now, we need to get Souji-kun out of here. He looks like he’s half dead.” Yukiko came forward. “You look a bit scorched, Yosuke-kun; Chie, take Souji-kun, and I’ll heal Yosuke-kun as we go.”

Yosuke was reluctant to let Chie take Souji’s arm, but he knew it was the best thing to do; he himself was on his last legs, and the last thing he wanted to do was stumble and drop his friend. The group was mostly silent as they walked; once Yukiko was done healing Yosuke, she moved over to check on Souji, and Naoto fell into her spot beside their leader. 

“Am I correct in assuming that Souji-senpai faced his shadow? It’s clear that you had a battle, and Teddie was adamant that there was only one shadow, and given senpai’s extreme level of exhaustion…” 

Yosuke nodded as Souji looked up. “His name is Izanagi. Does this mean I can come with you, now?”

Everybody looked at each other. “Yeeeesss?” Chie looked uncertain. “I don’t see why not but right now, Souji-kun, you’re exhausted. You gotta get some rest.”

Souji exhaled, shakily, and mumbled, “Nanako…” as everyone frowned; Yosuke reached over and patted his shoulder. 

“We’ll find her, Souji. I swear it.” He looked up. “Dojima-san?”

“He’s in the hospital, he’s not in critical condition any more but he’s gonna have to be in for a while, weeks at least. Maybe a month.” Chie frowned.

Yosuke’s frown matched hers. “That means the house…”

“Is empty.” Naoto finished, grimly. “Kanji-kun and I did go by to check for clues and make sure everything was locked up.” 

Everybody looked at Souji, who was drifting in and out of sleep, too exhausted to pay attention; Yosuke shook his head. “I’m not sending him home alone. Let’s take him to the hospital, explain that the shock of losing Nanako gave him a panic attack. He has them, sometimes.” He closed his eyes. “I think that’s the safest thing without making Dojima-san or the hospital staff worry more than they have to.”

The rest of the group agreed to this, and they all staggered back into the real world, with Kanji bearing the bulk of Souji’s weight on the way to the hospital. Once he was checked in, the group gathered outside the door. 

“We all need to get some actual rest tomorrow.” Naoto’s voice bore the trappings of authority, and Yosuke wasn’t going to argue with her; he figured he’d given up his leader privileges for the night, given the stunt he pulled _even though I don’t regret a moment of it_. 

Everyone was quiet for a moment; Chie broke the silence by turning and slugging Yosuke’s shoulder. “Seriously.” Her voice was muffled. “Don’t _do_ that again! We all know… we know how much Souji-kun means to you, but dude, you have to trust us.” 

“I’m sorry.” Yosuke was too tired to say much more; he looked around, falling silent.

Finally, Naoto spoke back up. “Meet here at 11 tomorrow? We can bring Souji-senpai some lunch and have a talk about what we’re going to do about Nanako-chan.”

There were nods all around, and the group dispersed, although Naoto lingered. “Yosuke-senpai.” 

“Yeah, Naoto?”

“I can tell that Souji-senpai has a lot on his mind… knowing how withdrawn he is, I think I can understand why you chose to engage his shadow before we arrived. I don’t approve, but I do understand.” She patted his arm, somewhat awkwardly. “Do go home soon? Don’t fall asleep here, even if the nurses offer to let you.”

Yosuke smiled guiltily. “Naoto, you’re too good for… well, your own good. Thanks, though. I’ll go home soon, I just want to check on him.”

“Good night, Yosuke-senpai.”

“Night, Naoto.”

* * *

With Naoto gone, Yosuke slipped back into Souji’s room. As expected, the silver-haired boy had been cleaned up by the staff and was sleeping; Yosuke was glad to see that there were no IVs or anything more serious than a pitcher of some rehydrating drink on the table at Souji's elbow, some sleeping pill wrappers in the trash can. Heaving an exhausted sigh, he sank into a chair next to the bed.

Souji stirred, his eyes slowly flickering open. Yosuke had a split-second to notice Souji’s ridiculously long eyelashes before banishing the thought; he leaned forward as his friend focused on his face. With a hollow smile, Souji croaked out, “Hey, partner.”

Just hearing Souji say the term made Yosuke’s stomach do somersaults, but he resolutely ignored it. “Hey yourself. How do you feel?”

“Like I just came out of a washing machine.” He rubbed his face. “I’m really sorry.”

“Dude, you have _nothing_ to be sorry about.” Yosuke felt his heart leap into his throat.

Raising an eyebrow, Souji snorted. “I do happen to remember throwing myself into a TV, even if everything after the fact is muddy as hell.” 

“Heh. Yeah, you did do that.” He exhaled. _Yes. I am terrified he’s going to bring up what his shadow said, and deny it_. “But you know what, I almost went in after you. Kanji had to hold me back.”

Souji blinked at this. “You did?” He looked confused, and suddenly embarrassed. “Oh. Well. Thank you for coming when you did…” He rubbed his neck. “And-”

His words were cut off by a massive yawn, and Yosuke stood up. “Okay, dude, you need sleep, I need sleep. We’re all going to meet up in the morning to have a discussion about tomorrow; and I swear to you, we’ll find her. You rest, do whatever they tell you to do so you can get out of here.”

When Souji looked back at him, his eyes were dark with gratitude, and the lashes were damp. “Thanks, Yosuke. I’ll… see you tomorrow.” 

Souji watched Yosuke leave; his first thought was of Nanako; he tried to banish it by thinking back to the run-in with his shadow, but the sleeping pills were kicking in and he _couldn’t_ think, no matter how much he wanted to. _Or do I?_ A sigh, as he slumped back against his pillow. He found himself slipping, and the last thing he remembered was the feel of Yosuke’s hands on his shoulders, the warmth in his voice. 

“ _I’ll always be your partner._ ”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 16 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters are going to be weird lengths for a while; with so much going on, I'm trying to cut at decent places. Also, I freaking _love_ Japanese pudding. I'm jealous of Souji.

Although they’d said eleven, the next morning Yosuke found himself at the hospital a couple of hours early. The nurse warned him that he wouldn’t be allowed in if Souji was still asleep, but he was already sitting up, looking out the window, so the brunette pushed the door open. 

“Hey, partner, morning.”

Souji looked up, surprised, and he flushed faintly before nodding. “Yosuke. Shouldn’t you still be sleeping?”

“Nah, dude, I’m good, I got plenty of rest. Besides, Ted was talking in his sleep. That bear has an unhealthy love of topsicles, jeeze.” He set a bag down on Souji’s bed, taking a seat. “The others’ll probably bring you lunch, but I figured I was a bit early for that.”

Eyebrow arched into his silver bangs, Souji took the bag with a murmured, “Thank you.” When he opened it, he found a tub of pudding, two electrolyte drinks, and a book. Souji read the title. “ _Myths and Legends_ , huh.” He flipped the book over, skimming the back cover.

Yosuke fidgeted with his headphone cord. “I didn’t know what you’d like, but I figured you wouldn’t be into manga or anything, and I think you need a rest from those heavy-ass textbooks.”

Looking up, Souji’s face creased into a soft, if tired and painful, smile. “Thanks. It actually looks pretty cool.” He set it aside before reaching for the pudding. “So…” _Don’t talk about yesterday. Don’t talk about Nanako_. “Why do you keep calling Teddie a bear? Is it just a play on his name?”

“Oh, right! I didn’t get to that part. Well, the first time we ended up… _over there_ , we ran into him, and…”

* * *

Yosuke was just wrapping up with an impression of Teddie’s first foray into the real word - Souji was actually laughing, hands covering his mouth - when the door opened and Chie, Yukiko, and Teddie walked in. They looked surprised, not at Yosuke being there already, but at the sound of Souji’s laughter; Yukiko’s face softened. 

“Good morning, Souji-kun, how are you feeling?”

“Okay.” He shrugged. “But futile. I hate just laying here.”

“I bet.” Chie frowned. “Hey, wait, did you already eat?”

“Just pudding.” Yosuke chuckled. “Brought him something to tide him over til lunch.”

“Whaaat? Sensei, you _shared your pudding?_ That’s no bear! You never let me have any!”

“That’s because you _eat it all_ , Ted!”

As the group laughed, the door slid open, and Kanji and Rise walked in. “Heyyyy, ♪Souji-senpai♬!” Rise bounced over to the side of his bed. “Are you feeling better?”

Souji smiled the same tired smile; for some reason, her perfume no longer gave him a headache, but smelled like something comfortable. “A little. Thanks, Rise.” 

Kanji rubbed the back of his own neck. “Hey, senpai. Uh. Naoto should be along-”

“-I’m here.” The door slid open and Naoto walked in; when she stepped up to the bed, everybody straightened up, looked at one another, and the young detective cleared her throat. 

Souji looked at Yosuke, a question on his face; Yosuke shrugged back, mouthing “ _I dunno, dude_.”

All at once, everyone - with the exception of Yosuke - bowed, saying in unison, “We’re sorry, Souji!” Smiling a little at Souji’s blank expression, Naoto straightened up. 

“While I think everybody knows that we really couldn’t have done anything else, we wanted to acknowledge that we kept secrets from you, and that we hurt you, which is not an easy thing for friends to do. Yosuke-senpai was still an idiot for telling you, but I think we’re all glad he did, although I wish it hadn’t put you in danger.”

This left Souji speechless, the look of surprise on his face calling answering smiles on everyone else’s; Yosuke spluttered. “ _Heeeey_ , well. Okay, you’re right, but… you guys… thanks.”

Souji closed his eyes for a moment, the heavy ache in his heart easing, just a little, briefly. “Thanks, everybody. I’m sorry I reacted the way I did. I know it was to be expected, and I know you couldn’t have told me anyway, but I still regret it.” 

Before the mood could get too heavy, Rise set a wrapped dish on his lap table. “Enough of the sad! I brought lunch!”

At this, everybody started to rummage in their bags; by the time they were done, Souji had a carton of still-warm ganmodoki from Rise’s grandmother’s shop, a thermos of milk tea from Yukiko, steak croquettes (“They’re from Souzai Daigaku, don’t worry!") from Chie, a take-out container of Aiya’s gyoza from Naoto, and a box of Tater Longs from Teddie. Kanji, looking embarrassed, brought out a wrapped packet that smelled _amazing_ ; he rubbed his neck again.

“Ma heard me talkin’ about comin’ to visit Senpai, ‘n she heard about Dojima-san, ‘n well… she insisted on makin’ cookies.” 

Souji stared at the tray in front of him, overflowing with food, and he couldn’t help smiling. “I can’t eat all of this, guys. Blame Yosuke’s pudding.”

“ _Heeeyy!_ ”

Souji’s eyes flitted to Yosuke for a second - the corners crinkling in a way that made Yosuke’s stomach flip-flop again - and then back to the group. “How about we all share?”

“ _Awright!_ I want one of Kanji-kun’s mom’s cookies!” Rise made a victory sign, and everybody laughed. Soon, everyone was settled around the room, either in a chair, or on the floor, or on Souji’s bed (Teddie insisted on sharing with 'Sou-kun,' and, well, Souji realized he wasn't weirded out _quite_ so much any more).

A long, comfortable silence followed as they all made short work of the food (Souji insisted Yosuke take half the ganmo, knowing his friend wasn’t fond of regular tofu); as he munched on gyoza, Souji leaned back against his pillows. At first, he found himself looking around the room, smiling; slowly, however, cold anxiety crept into his heart, and he put the container down, frowning. 

“Dude, you ok?” Yosuke was the first to notice, reaching for one of the electrolyte drinks to hand his friend. 

Souji took it, nodding wordlessly, unable to get Nanako’s name out from around the lump in his throat; the drink didn’t help at all. Naoto, who’d just finished a croquette, stood up. 

“I understand, senpai. Leader? We should probably talk about our plans.”

 _Argh_. “Yeah.” Yosuke stood, and everybody else quickly finished whatever they were eating. Yukiko and Rise made short work of the containers, cleaning up so that Souji’s tray wasn’t still bogged down with half-eaten food, and the group gathered around the bed.

Naoto started. “I won’t go over the full facts of the case, since we don’t really have time right now, but the current situation is that one Taro Namatame, suspected of the murders of Mayumi Yamano and Saki Konishi, and the kidnappings of four of our group, has taken Nanako Dojima and thrown her into the TV world.” Souji’s shoulders jumped at this, tensing; Yosuke put a hand on one, gently, and nodded to his friend.

If the others noticed this, they didn’t comment; Naoto continued. “Now, based on extensive familiarity with the crime’s progression and potential outcomes, we’re fairly certain Nanako will be okay until the next significant, overnight rain, but given the victim’s young age, we want to move as quickly as possible. In this, it’s actually helpful that Yosuke-senpai did the really stupid thing last night by rescuing Souji-senpai; now we only have to focus on Nanako.”

“Naoto? Chill.” Yosuke looked fond, if exasperated. “I think that’s enough facts. Has anybody been back in today?”

“Not yet.” Rise shook her head. “I don’t feel like we’re gonna need clues this time, though. I _love_ Nanako-chan, and I’m all fired up to find her!” She threw her fist into the air. 

A nod. “Then let’s plan on finding her today and bringing her back.” Yosuke looked around the group. “Does anybody need to sit out?”

“Hell no!” Kanji looked around. “Dude, we’re all in on this one.”

“All right.” Yosuke took a deep breath. “Do we need any supplies?”

Yukiko patted the bag she always carried. “No, we’ve got everything.”

Yosuke opened his mouth to say more, but Souji grabbed his sleeve. “What about me?”

Everyone quieted at this, looking at Yosuke, whose face twisted momentarily, and he closed his eyes. “Partner… you really should stay and rest. I swear we’ll bring her back…”

“No. I need to go with you!” Sadness and anxiety echoed in Souji's voice. “I’m the reason she’s in there, I need to be there, to get her back.”

The rest of the group was quiet; Yosuke put a hand to his forehead. _I don’t want him to be in any more danger!_ “Dude… you saw last night, this is going to be worse. You’ve never fought before, you’re still in bed, we don’t know what to expect, there’s a _murderer_ in there, for god’s sake!” 

“Yosuke, _please_ …” It was all Yosuke could do not to grab Souji’s shoulders and shake him, try to make him _see_ , but after a moment, Kanji spoke up.

“I get that it’s probably a really dumb thing to let Souji-senpai go, but… dude… at some point you gotta let people protect what’s important to them.”

“Yeah.” Rise’s voice was muffled. “I mean, you all saved me and I immediately joined you to help with Teddie, you know? Senpai’s strong. I think - I know - he can handle it.”

Chie and Yukiko nodded wordlessly at Yosuke, who felt himself growing more and more panicked. “But he’s still in the hospital, Dojima-san is here, we can’t just sneak him out-”

“I anticipated something of the sort.” Naoto nodded. “I asked at the front desk, and they said that as Souji-senpai was only suffering dehydration and grief, he was free to be released.”

 _Dammit_. It hurt, but Yosuke realized he had no choice. _All right… I’ll just have to protect what’s important to_ me, _then_. A nod. “Okay. Rise, Chie, Teddie, go check out the back lot, figure out where Nanako is. Kanji, Yukiko, double-check our supplies, make sure we’ve got enough for an extra person.” He looked at Souji. “Can you fight?”

Souji looked uncertain. “I took kendo classes for a long time, it was my parents’ way of keeping me fit and ‘balanced.’ I wasn’t bad, but I never showed any signs of wanting to make it a lifetime thing, which is why I guess they let me continue.” He sounded bitter, and Yosuke frowned. 

“Well, that’s more than the rest of us had, so Kanji - visit Daidara and buy him a katana of some sort? We should have plenty of credit from that last load of materials we brought back. I’ll get Souji checked out and take him home so he can grab anything he might need.” 

With a nod, the group split; Yosuke looked back at Souji, worry in his eyes. “Dude, are you sure-?”

Swallowing, Souji nodded. “It’s terrifying, but so is the idea of losing Nanako. Besides, Izanagi’s been talking to Jiraiya. I may not be on top of the game like you guys, but I know a little bit about how it all works, now.”

Yosuke blinked at this, not knowing what to think, but finally, he nodded. “Okay. But, dude, you have got to promise me one thing.” He crossed his arms.

“What’s that?” Souji’s expression was wary.

“ _Stay behind me_. I’m not gonna say you can’t fight, I’m not gonna say you can’t do whatever you need to do to help us rescue Nanako, but I’ve done this five times and counting, and I am _not_ gonna lose you just so we can rescue your little sister!” His voice was sharp, and Souji blinked, taken aback; a small thread of something warm wove its way through his icy fear for Nanako, and he nodded. 

“All right, partner. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ganmodoki** \- fried tofu patties, usually with vegetables mixed in  
>  **gyoza** \- dumplings, steamed or fried  
>  **kendo** \- a form of martial arts, using a wooden sword, or 'bokken'.  
>  **katana** \- japanese sword


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 17 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so... I almost didn't want to post this. I'm kinda embarrassed about Souji and Yosuke's little... thing... they do here during the Kunino-Sagiri fight (I was always said that Sou/Yu never had a special persona combo with anyone). But on the other hand, I've absolutely decided that this is 100% a self-indulgent fic, so I beg your goodwill. I'm 100% there for my favourite dorks being completely connected, even before they get together - and I'm also 100% there for Souji and Yosuke in glasses.

It took some time to get Souji ready to go and checked out; they were halfway through the shopping district when he turned to Yosuke. “I don’t-” a swallow “-don’t need anything from the house. I mean, can you think of anything I’d need?”

Yosuke looked him over, then shook his head. “We go in our school uniforms, anyway, so you’ve already got that covered if you’re not interested in changing. To be fair, you probably want to wear the gross one, anyway; who knows what we’re going to run into.” _He doesn’t want to go home; I don’t blame him. Not with Nanako’s things still scattered around_. Making a mental note, he nodded. “Let’s just meet- hey, there he is.”

Turning the corner onto the main road, they saw Kanji coming out of the blacksmith’s shop, carrying a bundle; when he saw them, he raised a hand and jogged across the street to join them. “I think this’ll work,” he said, handing the bundle to Souji, who resisted the urge to look.

“I, er… assume it’ll be better for me to keep this hidden.”

Yosuke nodded. “I’ll tell you later about Chie’s and my run in with the cops, our first time trying to go in intentionally. I ended up having to carry a pair of wrenches. Chie’s lucky, she just kicks the shit out of everything.” He turned to Kanji. “Yukiko finished with the supplies?”

A nod. “Yeah. We picked up everything we think we could need. She’ll hand everything out inside.”

“All right.” Yosuke turned back to Souji. “Last chance. I’m not telling you not to go, I just really want to make sure you know that this is gonna be really shitty, and we’re more than willing to go get her for you. Dude, she’s like our little sister, too.” A small frown played across his lips, remembering the last time he’d seen her, admonishing her father. “ _Why are you fighting with big bro and Yosuke-nii?_ ”

Souji shook his head, knuckles white from his grip on the wrapped sword. “ _No_. If I hadn’t been an idiot, if I hadn’t made you chase me, Dojima-san never would have hauled you off to the station, and if I hadn’t decided to go out after you and forget about Nanako - _I forgot about her, Yosuke!_ \- she never would have been alone, and-”

Yosuke caught Kanji’s eye and nodded briefly, a wordless request for him to go ahead of them; Kanji nodded back and ran ahead while Yosuke put a hand on Souji’s shoulder. 

“Partner. This isn’t gonna help, I know you’re not really gonna hear me, but listen. Nanako was already being targeted - none of us knew it was her, though, so it’s _all_ our faults. If it hadn’t been that evening, it would have been on the way home, on the way to Mai-chan’s house, or going out to get dinner…” He shook his head. “And you didn’t forget her. Thinking about something else for half an hour doesn’t count as forgetting.”

Souji was silent, as they walked; Yosuke really just wanted to put an arm around his shoulders, _or god forbid, hold his hand, or something stupid_ , but he knew that right now wasn’t the time. 

They got to Junes without much problem, and although it took some timing, into the TV. Souji felt a little sick when he finally landed, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him. As he dusted himself off, Teddie - wearing his mascot costume, which Souji couldn’t help but side-eye now that he knew it was the boy’s real form - sidled over, handing him something.

“Here, Sou-kun! You’ll need these if you want to get around without getting sick.”

Looking down at his hand, Souji realized he was holding a pair of glasses. Already beyond the point of questioning anything weird, the silver-haired boy slipped them on, then looked around. _Holy- wow. It’s like night and day. It’s hard to realize how how pervasive the fog is when you see it all day, every day, in and out for a month_. Raising his eyes, he realized the others were already wearing their glasses, and unsurprisingly, his gaze was drawn to their leader. _Jeeze, Yosuke_. It gave him a guilty twinge, but he couldn’t help it. _I’d never wish bad eyesight on anyone, but_ …

Yukiko went around handing out energy drinks and a few assorted odds-and-ends; Rise was busy talking with Yosuke, and Souji found himself standing to one side, playing idly with the grip on the katana Kanji had given him. It was a very _nice_ sword, and he felt a little daunted, carrying it; he’d never practiced with live steel, and the edge of the weapon brought everything home, made it that much more real. Standing around, waiting for everyone - especially as he had no idea where they were going or what to expect beyond what Izanagi had seen fit to communicate to him after his conversation with Jiraiya (he didn’t talk to Souji in words, exactly, it was more like mental images and concepts) - made it feel as if he were waiting for a field trip that he really wasn’t really sure about. _At least it keeps my mind off last night. And Nanako_. He’d still not thought about the night before beyond fits and starts and whispers between waking and sleeping, and for now, he was content to keep it that way. 

Finally, Yosuke gave the sign for everyone to move off, pointing in a direction that looked exactly like every other direction to Souji’s untrained eyes, and he hefted his sword over his shoulder, following a little behind everyone. Or, at least, he thought he was following behind; after staring at the back of Teddie’s feet as the bear squeaked along ahead of him, he suddenly realized he was surrounded on all sides, with Chie and Kanji behind him. Looking up in surprise, he met Yosuke’s eyes; his friend smiled, and Rise, next to Souji, took his arm. 

“We’ll get her back, senpai. I promise.” She smiled up at him, gently, and put her arm through his; any other time, he probably would have pulled away, but right now, he needed the contact. Smiling faintly, he nodded to her, shifting his sword to his other hand, resting it over his shoulder. “Thanks, Rise. I… appreciate this more than you all know.”

“Remember, we’ve all been here before.” She nodded. “Except Yosuke-senpai; Chie says he never had anything weird happen, that he was always able to enter the TV, but that’s Yosuke for you, isn’t it?” She saved Souji from having to answer by giving him another smile. “Besides, we’re all friends, and this is what friends do. Even if we weren’t friends, we’d save Nanako-chan - everybody loves her - but you’re as important to us as she is.”

Souji’s eyes watered at this; he wiped his sleeve across them, quickly, and Rise pretended not to notice while Yosuke, ahead of them, kept one eye surreptitiously on his friend. He felt a twinge, wishing he was back there, instead of Rise, but he knew that right now, he had to be the leader. _Besides, this… isn’t the time to settle whatever is between us_.

* * *

The first group of shadows attacked while they were closing in on Nanako’s location. Rise was, understandably, the first one to realize they were there, but Yosuke wasn’t too far behind, calling out directions before Rise had much of a chance to do anything other than alert everyone else. 

“Rise, pull Souji back. Chie, go in hard; Naoto, cover her, I’ll come in from the side.”

“Gotcha, senpai!” Rise grabbed Souji’s arm and they ran to the side as she summoned Kanzeon. He debated summoning Izanagi, but the whisper in his mind told him _no, not now_. After all, none of the others had theirs out, instead going in with weapons drawn; he was a little daunted to see Chie roundhouse-kick one of the shadows into smoke. _Wow, these guys are hardcore_. He just gripped his sword, trying to convince himself that he’d at least be of some help if shadows tried to attack Rise.

Two shadows swarmed Chie, who jumped back; that’s when Yosuke swooped in from behind, kunai at the ready, spin-jumping into the shadows’ midst and back out again before either could touch him; he did this again and again until nothing remained except shadowy wisps dissolving off the points of his blades. If Souji had been at all unsure of how he felt about Yosuke, seeing him like this - nimble and confident, calm and commanding - was enough to put any doubts to rest. _No wonder he’s the leader; no wonder he broke through my defenses. I never had a chance against him_.

It wasn’t until Rise giggled that he realized his mouth was open. He quickly cleared his throat, taking a stronger grip on his katana; she just side-eyed him with a smirk. “Yosuke-senpai’s pretty cool, isn’t he? Of course, he seems to be in top form today. I wonder why?”

“Uh. Yeah?” His face was red, and he looked away; suddenly, he realized that the shadows were gone as Yosuke jogged towards them, grinning. 

“Dude, did you see that?” He held a hand up, as if waiting for a high-five, and it was all Souji could do to oblige. 

“Yeah, it was pretty awesome.” Souji looked around. “Is it always like this?”

“Pretty much, yeah. It’s only in really bad spots that they’re in groups bigger than two or three.” Yosuke wiped his forehead on his sleeve. “Okay, guys, let’s keep going.”

It was the first time since their early acquaintance that Souji was glad to have Yosuke’s attention pulled away from him.

* * *

The shadows got thicker the closer they got to the large, looming mass where Rise said that Nanako was being kept; the first time shadows came for Rise, Souji nearly dropped his sword, and Kanji barreled in to save them. After that, Souji grit his teeth - determined not to make Yosuke regret bringing him along - and by the second or third fight he was able to help clean up any stragglers, although he was following Yosuke’s orders and sticking close to Rise.

A little voice in his head whispered that it would be nice to be up there, next to Yosuke, fighting together, but he had to ignore it. Still, the first time he caught a shadow, fair and square, slicing through it with one hit, he couldn’t help but feel proud; Rise whooped, and when he looked up, Yosuke was giving him a thumbs up and, for the first time since Nanako disappeared, he felt excited, no matter how fleeting the emotion. 

The fog in between the different Shadow “worlds” was almost as thick as Inaba without his glasses; it wasn’t until they got to the gates of Nanako’s “world” that it thinned out, and Souji realized that “gates” were literal. As they took in the whole picture, there were gasps around the group. 

“It’s a fairy land!” Yukiko looked confused. 

“It’s… like a picture-book version of heaven.” Rise bit her lip, her voice trembling, as she took in the golden gates, the rainbows, the waterfalls, clouds, flowers, and castle walls. “Oh, Nanako-chan…”

Souji closed his eyes, remembering. “ _It’s ok. I have them, too, sometimes. Especially when I miss mom_.” He couldn’t speak, the lump in his throat was too big; just then, Yosuke threw an arm around his shoulders, and the look in his eyes was both comforting and pained.

“Nanako really misses her, doesn’t she?” Souji nodded. 

Squaring his shoulders; he stood to the side, nervously examining his katana while Yosuke and Rise had a discussion; once they’d all decided on a plan of action that mostly involved _stay close to Rise_ for Souji, Yosuke jogged back up to his side. 

“It’s going to be hairy in there. We don’t know what we’ll find, and Rise’s certain Nanako isn’t alone.” Just that thought alone put a knot into Souji’s stomach. “Are you ready?”

The silver-haired boy nodded, gripping his sword. “As I’ll ever be.” 

An expression Souji couldn’t read flickered across Yosuke’s face for a moment. “You remember your promise?”

A nod. “Yes. I’ll stay behind you.”

“Good.” Yosuke didn’t look satisfied, but he looked at least somewhat relieved. After they had all taken a quick breather, he strode up to the golden gates, pushing them open; with Souji and Rise behind him, the group entered Heaven.

* * *

“ _Chie-senpai, NO!_ ” Rise’s shriek cut across the battlefield, panicked, as Yosuke barely managed to dodge one of the girl’s trademark roundhouse kicks. _Oh god, what’s happening? Were we just too cocky, too certain this would be open and shut?_

They’d plowed through the dungeon itself in no time; the group was so large, so fired up, that nothing really could have stood against them. As hoped, Nanako had been waiting at the centre of the final garden maze; as feared, her captor stood with her, his arm around her neck. While Naoto had attempted to reason with a distraught Namatame, Yosuke and Kanji rushed the man, knocking him off-balance so that he had to let go of the little girl. Souji swooped in to catch her, retreating to Rise’s side; she was unconscious, although she mumbled, “big bro,” once, and he hugged her to his chest, tears running down his cheeks.

That was when things fell apart. Instead of Namatame’s shadow attacking, as they’d expected, he _became_ a shadow, himself; a hulking monstrosity, far larger than Souji’s shadow had ever been, a twisted mockery of a martyr. Souji could tell from the panic in Yosuke’s voice as he yelled for Souji to stay back and protect Nanako and Rise that they’d never dealt with anything this bad before; his stomach sank, and all he could do was hold onto Nanako carefully, believing in his friends.

Teddie and Kanji had been taken out almost immediately; the shadow seemed particularly vicious towards the little bear, and Kanji took a blow meant for Naoto, which threw them both to the side. When she realized Kanji had been knocked cold, Naoto - cool, collected Naoto - started to panic; she was the next one taken out, and all Rise could do was cry, still trying to support the group. 

As Yukiko ran for their fallen friends, summoning Amaterasu with the intent to bring them back around, the shadow dropped to its knees, keening as it gestured towards her; with a jerk she stopped, turned on a heel, and with wooden, marionette-like gestures, made her way to the shadow’s side. 

“No!” Rise sounded hysterical. “She’s mind-controlled! Yukiko-senpai, snap out of it!”

Chie ran over to Yosuke’s side as Souji clutched Nanako in one arm, his sword in the other hand; the realization that they were in serious danger was all-too-real now. Rise started to call out something, an analysis, some sort of secret that might give them an edge against the shadow, but before she could finish, it dropped to its knees again.

This time his target was Chie.

Souji found himself trembling, bile in his throat and anger in his stomach. As Yosuke managed to dodge Chie, at the same time using Jiraiya’s silence ability to lock down Yukiko before she could do more than singe him, the silver-haired teen stood, laying Nanako gently down. _If I don’t do something, none of us are going to get out of here, Nanako included_. Before Rise could do more than gape at him, he grabbed her hand. “Keep Nanako safe!” 

Chie was already gathering herself for another attack; her focus was on Yosuke, though, and she never expected Souji to come barrelling into her side, sending her flying as he brought the hilt of his sword around. This move caught her in just the right spot; she crumpled to the floor, unconscious. Mentally begging her forgiveness, Souji dodged an attack from Yukiko - who had resorted to throwing her fan - slipped, and managed to throw himself into a roll towards Yosuke. 

“ _What the hell? Souji, get away, he’s going to- oh, shit, NO!_ ”

The shadow dropped to its knees again, making the same gesture as before; Souji felt his whole body seize up, but he grit his teeth, fighting through it, and staggered to Yosuke’s side. “I’m okay- I’m okay, I’m here.” He stood, panting, and Yosuke just stared at him in disbelief and relief.

Suddenly, Izanagi was whispering thoughts into his mind; Souji’s eyes grew wide, and he looked at Yosuke, who had the same expression on his face. Both boys took a deep breath, stepping forward; they faced one another, drawing circles in the air with their weapons that neither fully understood. With the final motion, they both plunged their blades into the ground, kneeling as a noiseless shockwave rippled across the plateau, knocking Yukiko to the ground. Yosuke turned his head, barely able to override the geis in which they were gripped as he shouted to Rise. 

“Kanzeon, protect the others!” 

Shining, iridescent domes appeared over each of their fallen comrades; it was none too soon as the shockwave reached its apex and Izanagi and Jiraiya both burst forth, in unison. The skies - which had previously been bright and sunny, as befitted a 7-year-old’s view of heaven - suddenly darkened with rolling clouds and the crackle of lightning. The wind picked up, spinning into a massive tornado; lightning flickered and raced through it, and it struck the ground, filling the area, so strong that it was all Rise could do to hold on to Nanako, and the boys their weapons, anchored in the ground. 

This all happened much more quickly than it took to describe; one minute, they were buffeted from all sides by a massive storm of wind and lightning, the next, Souji and Yosuke were lying flat on the ground, dazed, grasping their weapons as bright sunshine streamed across the square. All around them, their fallen friends slowly climbed to their feet, battered and bruised; Rise clutched Nanako tightly, and Yosuke pushed himself up, offering Souji a hand up, as well.

Their friends’ questions were almost in unison: “ _What happened?_ ” The two boys looked at each other, sheepishly; Souji shrugged.

“Izanagi just… told me to go along with it.”

“Jiraiya, too.” Yosuke nodded. “But how’s Nanako?” 

“She’s not breathing well, senpai, we need to get her out of here!” Rise was exhausted, too, and Souji ran over to take his little sister, offering Rise a hand up.

Yosuke looked back in time to see Namatame collapse onto his knees. “Ugh. We’ve got to take him, too. Kanji?”

“Got him, senpai.” 

After Yukiko cast a mass-healing spell that exhausted her, but was better than them all trying to make it back in their current state, they began to stagger back. Kanji had Namatame, and Naoto, who was sticking very close to Kanji, helped support Rise. Chie stayed at Yukiko’s side, Souji wouldn’t let Nanako out of his arms, and Yosuke kept an arm around his shoulders. Teddie led the group, keeping an eye out for shadows; he had a sixth-sense for knowing the fastest and safest way out of a dungeon and back to the back lot.

At any other time, Souji would have been filled with amazement at what he’d just experienced - or utterly mortified at having Yosuke holding onto him so tightly - but right now, all he could do was watch Nanako’s face.

 _Please, Nanako… be okay… please don’t let us have been too late_ …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **kunai** \- dagger-like weapons that can also be used as pitons, throwing darts, and spear heads


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 18 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

“Thank you.” The words were quiet, a little slurred as the sleeping pills kicked in; Yosuke just patted Souji’s shoulder, gently, as his friend’s eyelids started to droop. 

“That’s what partners are for, right?”

Souji just smiled, already asleep; the brunette was relieved to see that he seemed - if not happy - relieved and more relaxed than he had been for the past few days (and, if Yosuke was honest with himself, the past several weeks.) It hadn’t been hard to convince Souji to stay one more night at the hospital, once Nanako had been wheeled away to the children’s ICU wing. In fact, the nurse who admitted him looked them all over, dubiously - especially Kanji - asking whether or not they all needed to stay? Yosuke assured her that they didn’t, and once they realized that Nanako would not be permitted visitors that night, the others headed home.

Once he’d delivered the news of Nanako’s rescue to a very relieved - and slightly chagrined - Dojima-san, he left, but not to go home. He’d grabbed Souji’s house key, leaving a note that he’d be bringing his friend a change of clothes the next morning, and he headed instead to the Dojimas’ house.

It wasn’t odd for the house to be quiet, as Nanako and Souji both were quiet and reserved, but it _was_ odd - and a little heartbreaking - to see it so still. He stood for a moment next to the living room table, wishing that Souji was in the kitchen, cooking dinner, and Nanako was sitting next to him, watching TV. Yosuke sighed. 

_Well, we’ve done what we can. It should be over, now_. For some reason, the thought wasn’t as comforting as it should be.

It didn’t take too long to grab a change of clothes for Souji, but once those were in a bag by the door, Yosuke rubbed his face, closed his eyes for a moment, and started to pick up all of Nanako’s belongings that were scattered around, setting them in her room. _Souji can’t stay in the hospital forever - I wouldn’t want him to - but maybe that’ll make coming home a little easier_.

It wasn’t easy for Yosuke, either. Just going into Nanako’s room made him feel wretched, and he knew that it wasn’t half as hard for him as it was for Souji, which just made his heart hurt more. He got through it as quickly as he could, then rolled up his sleeves and headed for the kitchen, clearing expired food out of the fridge ( _what the hell Souji black miso isn’t even a thing, this is_ gross, _dude_ ). Once he’d gotten everything tidied up, he took the trash out to the road, watered the garden, and locked up before heading home.

He was exhausted, but at least he didn’t have to think too much about Souji, or Nanako, or the TV world, or Namatame… or any of the million other things trying currently to claim brainspace.

* * *

He slept late the next morning, only to be woken by the buzzing of his phone as the group text that the Investigation Team used to discuss the case blew up with messages from his friends. Rolling out of bed, he shrugged into what he hoped wasn’t his last clean t-shirt before heading downstairs to find Teddie already on his third bowl of cereal. Grabbing the bag with Souji’s clothes, he headed for the hospital, telling Teddie he’d text him.

He found Souji sitting in a chair, looking out the window; when the door opened, the silver-haired teen turned, his face lightening just a little when he saw that it was Yosuke. He looked tired, but the panic from the past two days was mostly gone, and Yosuke was glad to see it. _That’s at least something_. Dropping the bag on the bed, he smiled. 

“Morning, partner.”

* * *

While Souji changed, Yosuke checked to see if Nanako could have visitors; the stern-faced nurses hanging around her room shook their heads, and he sighed. Sending a message to this effect to the rest of the group, they all decided to meet at the Junes food court; Souji went with him.

Souji wasn’t looking forward to meeting up with the rest of the group. It had been one thing, the day before, when they’d all had a common goal; now, he felt ashamed of how much trouble he’d been, and every time he tried to think about what had happened with his shadow, in the other world, alarm bells rang inside his memories, no matter how he tried to still them. It didn’t hurt that Izanagi still snickered sometimes, in the back of his mind.

He was surprised, then, when he followed Yosuke up to the table and everyone made space; not just for Yosuke, but for _him_. Rise seemed to want to sit right between the two; at the moment, Souji didn’t mind. Sitting next to Rise felt more comfortable - not _better_ , just less anxious - than sitting next to the one person who had seen his despicable inner self. 

“So, it’s over.” Chie didn’t waste much time.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Yosuke rubbed his nose, and everyone around the table nodded. “Feels… anticlimactic. I mean, the guy’s a nutcase, the crazy fog is still everywhere, and-” He stopped, but everyone knew the words on the tip of his tongue involved the name _Nanako_. 

“Yeah, but we got another member!” Rise smiled at Souji. “Right, Souji-senpai? You and Yosuke-senpai were _cool!_ Your persona looks cool, too.”

“His name is Izanagi?” Yukiko looked interested.

This was not what Souji had expected - questions, yes, but questions about how he’d gotten Izanagi, or what had happened when Yosuke found him, his shadow. Yet no one seemed inclined to ask, which was a relief.

With Naoto taking the lead, they finally took the opportunity to explain everything to him, an unabridged version of the story Yosuke had given him two nights ago before his uncle barged in. They bought steak and takoyaki, and drinks, and sat around talking for a good half the day. 

Finally, Rise turned to Souji. “Souji-senpai, we should throw a party for Nanako! I mean, when she gets better, because she _will_ , let’s have a welcome-home party!”

“Yeah, dude, we gotta.” Yosuke smiled. “We could have it here, or at your house, or wherever.”

“Let’s buy presents for Nana-chan!” Teddie cheered. “Topsicles!” 

“What the hell, Ted, _no_.” Chie looked exasperated, and they all laughed. 

Souji remembered earlier that week, the first _cold_ night of the fall, when they’d brought out the kotatsu but it hadn’t wanted to work. “I did promise her we’d pick out a new kotatsu.”

“Why didn’t you say so earlier, partner?” Yosuke stood up, looking excited. “We just got a whole shipment. Come on, let’s go check ‘em out!”

* * *

They spent a few more hours milling around, looking at kotatsu and pseudo-planning - though Souji still didn’t get why Yosuke was so against the girls cooking. Finally, Chie looked at her watch, giving a reluctant sigh. 

“I gotta go do some homework before school tomorrow.”

Kanji groaned. “Why’d you have to say the ‘h’ word, senpai?”

“Better _before_ it’s due than _after_ , Kanji!” Rise giggled, and with that, the group split up to head home. 

Soon enough, it was just Yosuke and Souji; the brunette had told Teddie to go ahead and go home without him, and although Ted hadn’t wanted to, he’d given in to Sensei’s request. 

“You doing ok, partner?” Yosuke’s gentle voice made Souji’s stomach hurt. 

“Y-yeah. I guess so.” A faint smile. “I appreciate how upbeat everybody is.”

“Yeah, dude.” Yosuke clapped his shoulder. “Gotta keep positive for Nanako-chan, right? You look tired, though… want me to walk you home?”

Souji thought about saying no, that he’d be ok - _but I’m really not. I don’t want to be alone_. Swallowing, he nodded. “You don’t have anything else to do-?”

“Nah, dude. Well, I mean…” He looked a bit embarrassed. “I… didn’t really plan on doing my homework, so…”

“ _Yosuke_ …” Souji raised an eyebrow. “Well, if you want to come over, we can do finish it together?”

“ _You have to start before you can finish something_ ,” Yosuke muttered, quietly, and Souji just sighed at him.

* * *

When they got to Souji’s house, Yosuke could see the tension in his shoulders build as he pushed open the door, and then the blink of surprise as he realized what was noticeably missing. “I-” A pause; it was clear from his face that he was thinking.

Yosuke wasn’t going to go out of his way to explain; he just took off his shoes and headed inside. It wasn’t until he turned around to ask if Souji wanted to work downstairs or in his room that he saw the _look_ on Souji’s face - one of gratitude and disbelief - and it was all Yosuke could do not to kiss him, to stick to his half-formed plans and just... smile.

* * *

Souji made dinner - Yosuke had tried to protest this, but he was realizing that Souji _liked_ to cook, it was relaxing - and Yosuke had brought CDs so that he could be sure there would always be _some_ noise in the house that wasn't _Loveline_ on TV, and they got through the night, if not cheerfully, at least somewhat normally. The silver-haired boy was still on edge, but he seemed to relax as the evening went on, and once they were working on homework he almost seemed to have forgotten the events of the last few days. 

They finished the last essay just as the clock struck midnight; on instinct, Yosuke looked at the window and was glad not to see rain. He stretched. “Thanks for that, dude.”

Souji nodded, looking down at his own homework, although he wasn’t reading it; he was just staring at the notebook. _I really don’t want to be alone_. His stomach clenched. _But I can’t -_

“Hey, partner.” Souji looked up in surprise, to see that Yosuke was watching him with concern. “You, uh… want me to crash here tonight? You got two couches, which is already better than sharing my futon half the time with Teddie.”

Souji blinked, then actually snickered, just a bit. “We’ve got a spare futon, too, if you’d prefer.”

“Nah, man, if you’re comfortable with me being upstairs, your couch is _nice_. You know I’ve fallen asleep there before.”

“Yes, you were _supposed_ to be learning English subject-verb agreement.”

“Dude! I have a translation app on my phone.” 

Souji just rolled his eyes, standing up. “All right, couch it is.”

* * *

Laying in the dark, Souji tried not to listen to Yosuke’s breathing. He was absolutely grateful to his friend for being there - he knew that if Yosuke had gone home, he’d be curled up in a lump on his futon, trying not to think about Nanako, trying not to cry. 

Now, unfortunately, he had to try not to think about Yosuke. _I can’t believe he’s so_... _so_... Souji Seta, walking dictionary, couldn’t think up the right word. _I can’t believe he’s still_ here. _By all rights, he should have dropped me as soon as he dragged my sorry self out of that hellhole, given the stuff he saw inside me, the stuff my shadow said - especially about_ him. _But here he is_.

He was slowly coming to terms with the realization that whether or not Yosuke had anything he wanted to say about Souji’s shadow - or anything he’d seen - he wasn’t going to. Part of Souji's stomach twisted at this - there was always the feeling that the other shoe was waiting to drop - but overall, he just felt grateful. _This… this is enough. It’s okay if he doesn’t love me - I’d screw everything up, anyway. But he’s… not going to leave me. He still calls me partner. We can stay friends_. 

Lying in the dark, Yosuke listened to Souji’s breathing. He could tell his friend wasn’t asleep yet - he knew he was probably thinking. _Thinking too hard. He always thinks too hard. I’m sure he’s thinking about Nanako, his shadow, all the things it said… the future_ … _Me? Maybe?_ He flushed, glad it wasn't visible in the dark. 

_No. Don’t think about that_. He pushed his mind to the TV world, what they’d just faced. _I’m not really surprised how fast he adapted - I don’t think there’s anything Souji couldn’t do if he put his mind to it - but I’m grateful he came along, even though I wish he hadn’t had to_. A memory of how cool Souji had been towards the end while wielding his katana made Yosuke flush again. _Seriously, how does he look so ridiculously good like that? The glasses were unfair. And I’m not even going to think about what_ this _Souji would look like in that suit, without those creepy yellow eyes_. Shifting uncomfortably, he winced. _Ugh. I said I_ wasn’t _going to think about it, dammit_ …

Really, all he wanted to do was climb into Souji’s futon, hold him close, reassure him that everything was going to be fine; _too bad right now is the worst fucking time_. He rolled over, stifling a sigh, and forced himself to calm down by naming elements from the periodic table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **miso** \- soybean paste, red or white  
>  **takoyaki** \- fried dough balls with octopus


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 19 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope slow-going is okay for everybody.

The next morning, Souji was awakened by the smell of toast and coffee; blinking a few times, he stretched and yawned, acting a lot like one of the many kittens he was known to feed. Yosuke, who was sitting with his back against the couch as he ate his own toast, found it probably more cute than he wanted to admit. 

Souji, meanwhile, stared at his friend, a bit muddle-headed. He was always slow to wake up; Nanako had taken to tapping on his door each morning before going down to start toast and eggs. Finally, he blinked. “Yosuke? Right. Good morning.”

Yosuke laughed. “Dude, are you like this every morning?” _Wouldn’t I like to know_.

“Mmm?” Souji reached for the coffee, still not _really_ awake. “Oh. Toast. Thanks.”

* * *

Being that it was late enough that Yosuke wouldn’t have time to run home, change, and get to school, he borrowed one of Souji’s uniforms - it was clean, of course, but still smelled like Souji, and Yosuke knew he was going to have an interesting day because of it. It didn’t fit exactly - his friend was a bit taller and had narrower shoulders and waist than Yosuke - but it fit well enough that nobody would comment. 

Souji was finally fully awake by the time they had gotten to the floodplain. As much as Yosuke wanted to needle his friend about it - _partly because it’s so fucking cute_ \- he realized that had the potential to lead the conversation in a very uncomfortable direction, and this was _not_ the time.

 _Not while Nanako is sick_. Besides, he had things to take care of before they even tried to have that conversation. 

They’d just passed the pavilion, walking in comfortable silence, when they heard Rise calling their names. Trotting up between them, she gave each boy a wide smile. “Morning, Yosuke-senpai, Souji-senpai! Let’s go see Nanako-chan after school today!”

The silver-haired boy’s eyes crinkled a bit as he smiled at Rise - a gesture that _almost_ made Yosuke feel jealous, and would have had he not heard Souji’s shadow - and nodded. “I’m definitely going, and I’m sure Nanako would love to see everyone.”

With Rise there, the comfortable silence turned into comfortable small-talk; school passed normally, as news of Namatame’s arrest had not yet become common knowledge. The whole group met together to eat lunch, and after school they all met up at the outside gate to head to the hospital.

* * *

“I’m sorry. She’s still unconscious, and until we have a better idea of what’s causing her illness, we can’t have anyone disturbing her.” 

Souji made an indistinct noise of frustration, and as his face fell, Yosuke put a hand on his shoulder. “We understand, but we really want to see her as soon as she’s allowed visitors. Would it be better to check back every day, or-?” He left the question unfinished. 

“Well, you could always leave your phone number.” The nurse looked harried, but also kind, and she slid a pad of paper and pen across the counter to Souji, who bit his lip and fumbled for his phone. 

“I got it, partner.” Yosuke grabbed the pen and scribbled down Souji’s number. “Not like you ever call yourself, yeah?” He gave everything back to the nurse as Souji looked at him, gratefully.

“Any time, night or day, please call me.” Souji’s voice was thick. “I just want to see Nanako.”

* * *

At this disappointing news, everyone split up to head home; they’d been busy the last few days, and everyone had things to take care of. Teddie eyed Souji and Yosuke, but seemed to know what Yosuke wanted before he even said it, as he just said goodbye and headed home to Yosuke’s house.

Souji raised an eyebrow. “What about Junes?”

Yosuke, who’d jammed his hands into his pockets, looked up at the sky and smiled. “Got a few days off in a row. Rare good luck, right?” A laugh. “We got homework out of the way yesterday and the reading for tomorrow isn’t bad, so do you wanna hang out?”

Deep down, Souji knew he was only tormenting himself by agreeing, but he couldn’t help it. _I don’t want to be alone. And right now, Yosuke is all I have_ … Something whispered that, even if Nanako were okay, he’d still want to spend all of his time with Yosuke, but he pushed it aside.

“Yeah, that sounds good.” 

Smiling happily, Yosuke nodded. “Come by my place first, I want to change and grab a few things, then we can head over.” Souji just nodded, turning to follow the brunette.

They were halfway to Yosuke’s house when Souji looked up. “Hey, Yosuke. Thanks for dealing with the nurse back there.” Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. “In fact, thanks for all you’ve been doing. It kinda feels like you’re doing nothing but take care of me, though.”

Forcing his smile to stay friendly, Yosuke looked over his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I know you’d do the same for me if the roles were reversed. Besides, Nanako-chan’s really important to me. You are, too, partner.” _That should be safe to say, right?_

The smile that broke across Souji’s face - although it didn’t linger, and was probably much warmer than the taller boy intended or realized - was enough to send butterflies racing through Yosuke’s stomach, although he wasn’t going to acknowledge it.

* * *

By the time Yosuke had done all he’d needed to, they’d spent some time with Teddie, and then stopped by Junes to pick up some ingredients for dinner - Yosuke was pretty certain by this point that he was completely spoiled by Souji’s cooking - the sun was setting; the days were definitely getting shorter, even though it was hard to see in the fog. 

Yosuke had a duffel bag and his acoustic guitar; Souji was pretty sure he was planning to stay the night again, and he felt grateful, if a bit guilty. “Are your parents okay with you staying over so much? What about Teddie?”

“Teddie’s fine.” Yosuke chuckled. “He gets to play my video games, and I know for a fact he likes to wander around the shopping district and bug Rise and Kanji. As for my parents,” he shrugged. “They understand.”

“Must be nice.” Souji’s words were muttered, and Yosuke frowned. 

“Sorry, dude-” _We really have to figure this parents thing out._

“It’s fine.” Souji gave him a small, pained smile. “Anyway. You should let me know if there’s anything you want for dinner when you’re over.”

* * *

While Souji cooked, Yosuke sat and played his guitar, mostly just strumming quietly while they talked. He stopped so they could eat, and he could help clean up, but afterwards, he pushed his bangs out of his eyes.

“So, dude. This might be weird, and if you don’t feel up to it, that’s fine, but you should grab your violin. I’ve only ever played with the group, and a couple of guys on bass, so I think it might be cool.” He watched Souji’s face, hoping he wasn’t screwing anything up.

Souji, meanwhile, stopped in mid-sip. Putting his tea back onto the table, he grimaced a little, but was surprised to find that the usual feeling of guilt just… wasn’t there. _Maybe that whole shadow thing actually did something for me_. “All right. I’ll need to practice a bit, though. It’s been a few weeks.”

“Oh, yeah dude, of course.”

* * *

It took Souji some time to get ready, and it took them some time to get used to each others’ music styles; Souji had been professionally trained, if only for a few years, but he never played anymore, and Yosuke was self-taught, but played all the time. Still, they fell into sync relatively quickly, as Yosuke let Souji lead, knowing he was less familiar with the music Yosuke would know. They lost track of time; it took the clock striking twelve for them to realize how late is was. 

“Wow.” Yosuke put his guitar away with a bit of a laugh, stretching his sore fingers. “That was… pretty cool.” _That was way more than cool, that was… amazing_. It had never been so easy for him to get into his music before. 

Souji seemed to feel the same way; he looked a little dazed, and a smile played about his lips. “Yeah. That was…” He shook his head. “It felt really good, to be honest.”

“We’ll do it again.” Yosuke smiled at him. “Right now, we should probably get baths and head to bed, though.”

Tilting his head - the gesture that sent his silver hair falling across his forehead in a way that distracted Yosuke far too much for his own good - Souji regarded him. “Are you sure you don’t want the spare futon? You’re going to hurt your back sleeping on the couch.” 

A laugh. “Dude, I’m sure. It’s fine, I’d tell you if it wasn’t.”

“Have it your way.” Souji smiled, and Yosuke considered it an evening well-spent.

* * *

Long after Yosuke fell asleep - Souji could hear his even breathing - the silver-haired teen lay awake, thinking. It hadn’t escaped his notice how happy playing music had made him, even while his normal life lay in shambles around him and a good quarter of his caged heart lay in the hospital across town. The helplessness and anger he’d felt towards his parents, his future, his _everything_ back in the TV world, listening to his shadow, came back to him then. 

When he finally rolled over, he wasn’t any closer to a solution - but he was a lot closer to knowing what he _really_ wanted.

* * *

The rest of the week passed much the same way; school, spending time with the rest of the group, sometimes Yosuke would go home for a bit but he’d always come over for dinner and spend the night, and Souji stopped feeling like he was supposed to say no. 

A few days after their impromptu jam session, they were both laying on the floor in Souji’s room, listening to one of the many CDs the brunette had brought over, when Souji - staring at a point just past the ceiling light - spoke up.

“I’ve been thinking.”

Yosuke, who’d been stuck in his own thoughts, rubbed his face. “That’s your first problem, dude. You think too much.”

“Yeah, well, this isn’t-” A sigh. “It’s… well… I’ve been thinking about my parents. And the future.” 

“Oh?” Yosuke sat up, crossing his arms and legs as he watched Souji manoeuvre himself into a sitting position on his futon.

“Yeah.” He looked at his hands. “I’m sixteen. In four years, I’ll be twenty, and my parents won’t be able to legally make me do _anything_ any more.” Looking up, he seemed anxious, although whether it was over over the planning or Yosuke’s potential opinion wasn’t clear. “I don’t- I _don’t_ want what they want for me. I don’t, and I’m not going to do it." 

_Oh. Hell yes_. Yosuke couldn’t stop the smile from forming on his face. “That’s… great, honestly. Like, if you really were happy with being a lawyer and all that’s fine, I wasn’t going to say anything, but I’ve known from the first time you touched that violin that it wasn’t what you _really_ wanted.”

With a small, wry smile, Souji nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I’ll have to keep up appearances until then, but…” A shrug as he rubbed his arms, seeming cold. “I want to play music, even if it takes time. And if I get to that point, well… maybe we could get together and play more, after that?” 

The look on his face was so hopeful that Yosuke almost drowned in the irony. _I’d rather wait years for you than try to find a different band._ Shaking his head, Yosuke chuckled. “Dude, of course. We might even be able to figure out ways to meet up, like on campus. I’m planning on going to the city for college, you know; there are some music conservatories that I really want to apply to.”

For the first time since Yosuke had met him, Souji looked excited. It was more than when they’d played on stage, more than their few fights in the TV. It was edged by terror - _which is completely understandable_ \- but if Yosuke didn’t know better, he’d swear he heard the bars around Souji’s heart shift, maybe break. A matching smile spread across his face. 

_Finally, things are looking up._


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 20 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning** for death mentions and general angst.

A week or so after Nanako’s rescue, everyone was gathered in the food court at Junes, just another afternoon. Teddie was harassing Kanji, Naoto and Rise were having a spirited discussion about something on one side of the table, and Yukiko, Chie, Souji, and Yosuke were talking at the other end about plans for winter vacation. Souji was still surprised at their welcome, but none of the others seemed fazed; they included him as if he’d always been a part of their group, and it made him feel oddly warm.

He’d just reached over to grab a takoyaki when his phone rang; his hand froze and he stared at his phone, wide-eyed. Yosuke’s expression was much the same, and Chie and Yukiko both looked puzzled. With shaking hands, Souji flipped the phone open, placing it to his ear. 

“May I speak to Souji Seta?”

“Speaking.”

“This is Inaba Municipal Hospital, and we’re calling about Nanako Dojima. If you still want to visit her, now would be a good time.”

Souji’s face lit up like a sunrise. “Really? I’ll be right there. Can I bring some friends?”

The voice hesitated. “...Yes, if they’re important to Nanako. We’ll just have to ask you to be quiet while you’re here.”

“Absolutely, thank you! We’ll be right over.” He hung up, his face glowing. “We can go visit Nanako!”

“Yay!” Rise and Teddie threw their hands into the air and started to cheer, and everyone hurriedly cleaned up as Souji stuffed his books into his bag and got ready. Yosuke clapped his shoulder, grinning. 

“Let’s go!”

* * *

The atmosphere in the room was tense - almost stifling - as the doctor spoke to Souji. His face was lined, and stern, and Souji found himself blanking over half of the words. 

“...unknown cause… difficult to treat… struggling… say anything you need now… while there’s still time…” 

_None of this makes sense. This is the kind of stuff you say when someone is dying. Nanako’s doing better, though, or they wouldn’t let us visit._

The rest of the group stood, huddled, towards the end of the room; Chie and Yukiko held each other's hands, Rise looked like she was ready to burst into tears at any time, and Yosuke’s fists were balled so tightly that his nails bit into his palms, but he didn’t care. _No. This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening. We got her on the first day! It hasn’t even rained!_

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the bed as Nanako started to gasp; the nurse hurriedly tried to adjust her breathing tube. Souji blanched, cutting the doctor off in mid-sentence as he ran over to the bed; the others crowded close as he leaned over, taking the small hand, that he’d held so many times before, carefully into his own. As he did, the heart monitor, which had been beeping steadily, sped up… and then stopped. 

The room was silent for a split-second; Yosuke moved first, rushing forward to grab Souji before he collapsed onto the bed. The silver-haired boy was so white Yosuke was afraid he’d fainted. The girls and Teddie started sobbing, and not even Yosuke and Kanji were dry-eyed.

For Souji, meanwhile, everything was moving in slow-motion. He felt Yosuke’s hands on his shoulders, felt the limp hand in his own, heard the muffled sobs and silence of the machinery by the bed, but none of it was _real_. He gasped for breath, his whole body frozen as he tried to comprehend. Somewhere behind him, he heard Dojima-san’s heart-wrenchingly guttural cry of despair. 

Inside, he could only feel ice. 

_...and now your precious “real” baby sister is lost. Probably dead. It’s all your fault, so yeah. You’re_ really _good at fucking up._ His shadow’s words pounded in his ears, and it was all he could do to keep from collapsing into a huddled mass on the floor. If Yosuke hadn’t held him up, he _would_ have.

Still trying to _breathe_ , he found himself pulled back by a nurse, pushed into a chair, Yosuke’s hands no longer on his shoulders. Somewhere, he heard a voice calling his uncle’s name; his friends were saying _something_ , something that probably would have mattered at any other time when the biggest light of his life was not lying, cold and still, less than five feet away. 

He didn’t realize when his uncle left.

He didn’t realize when his friends left. 

It wasn’t until the mantra “ _It’s all your fault_ ” was broken by whispers in his mind that he realized he was alone; he snapped his head up, _seeing_ the room again. As Izanagi continued to whisper, Souji realized that he could breathe again, that his persona was holding back the ice that was desperately trying to encase his heart; the wordless murmur in the back of his mind was frantic. 

_I have to go, I have to follow them._

* * *

Although Souji wanted nothing more in his grief than to sit and mourn, he found himself running along an upper-floor hallway not five minutes later. Perhaps Jiraiya was leading Izanagi, he wasn’t sure; all he knew was that somehow he knew exactly where to go.

He heard the voices before he got to the door; throwing it open, he found the group gathered around Namatame, who was trembling on the floor. Their expressions were so unlike their usual demeanor that it took Souji a second to realize what was going on.

“-don’t have to stay in here, but I’m not going to let this guy get _away_ with what he did to Nanako!” Yosuke’s voice was terrifyingly _cold_ , and it made Souji’s stomach knot. 

“Yosuke, stop it! We can’t just throw him into the TV!” Chie and Rise were exchanging frantic glances. 

“Who says? You heard his shadow! He’s getting off on this, and they’ll never be able to convict him!” The rage in the brunette’s voice was so strong that Souji could feel anger rolling off him in waves, and it choked him. Just as Yosuke stepped menacingly towards the trembling kidnapper, Souji ran forward, grabbing his arm.

“Stop it!”

Everyone froze, surprised; for a second, Yosuke and Souji stared at one another, eyes of angry fire meeting those of numbing cold. Yosuke heaved a shuddering breath and threw Souji’s hand off. 

“ _What the hell?_ Are you just going to sit there and pretend that this guy doesn’t deserve it? Are you going to pretend that Nanako didn’t mean anything to you?”

“No, I-” Souji’s voice was rough, choking, he could barely get the words out, but he _had_ to. “I can’t-” With a ragged breath, he wiped his eyes. “ _Listen to me_. You just spent the last six months fighting for your lives to solve this crime; you can’t turn right around and commit the same one! When Kubo killed Morooka, even though you all knew he was a shitty person, you blamed _Kubo_ , not Morooka, because _killing isn’t the answer!_ "

He was sobbing by this point; Yosuke stepped forward, and Souji stepped backwards, putting himself between his friend and the TV, arms out as if to block it. “So what if his shadow said all those things? I don’t care if our shadows are our repressed selves, you know as well as I do that they say shit that _isn’t true_ , just to hurt us!” _I can’t let him do this, I can’t let Yosuke do this to himself, I can’t let him break himself, burn himself out._ He bit his lip, almost unable to say the words. “ _Nanako wouldn’t want this!_ ”

Yosuke jerked back as if burned, and the two stared at one another for a long, terrible moment.

Naoto’s voice, shaking more than usual, broke the tension. “I agree with Souji-senpai. Namatame hasn’t said anything yet. We heard his shadow, but not _his_ thoughts and feelings. I can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to this than we know.” She looked around. “I can’t be the only one who’s felt, this whole time, like it wasn’t actually over.” As a few of the group nodded, she looked back to Yosuke. “There are too many inconsistencies.”

“Yeah!” Rise clutched her hands against her chest. “We can’t just assume, senpai! We have to get together and think - for Nanako-chan’s sake.” The rest of the group murmured agreements, and suddenly, Yosuke’s shoulders slumped. 

“All right.” His voice was bitter. “But I swear to god, if they let him go and he hurts someone else, I will do _whatever it takes_ to bring him back in.” He looked away from Souji, who hesitantly stepped forward to put a hand on his shoulder.

“And I will, too. I promise.” The two stood there, looking at one another for a moment; to Souji’s great relief, he realized that Yosuke wasn’t mad at him, just terribly, horribly sad.

* * *

They’d been interrupted from further discussion by a policeman bursting into the room and demanding they leave; in the hallway outside, everyone was just sad and tired and worried and awkward. Nobody really wanted to meet each other's eyes.

“We should go home.” Naoto’s voice broke the silence, and there were nods all around. 

“I’m-” Souji just wanted to collapse in on himself, into a ball, but he knew he had to keep walking. “I’m just… I just want to… say goodbye, one last time…”

Yosuke put an arm around his shoulders, nodding to the group. “Come on.”

Most of the group stayed outside, wanting to give Souji time to himself, but Yosuke - after an unspoken agreement - followed his friend into the room. It looked too much the same, too _normal_ , and the sight of Souji, bowed over Nanako’s hand, broke Yosuke’s heart. 

Souji closed his eyes. _It’s not real. It can’t be real. What am I going to do without Nanako? How can I even_ \- his thoughts snarled, and he started to weep, or really, he’d never stopped. 

“Bi-i-g….. Br-o?” Nanako’s hand suddenly tightened around Souji’s.

The cage around Souji’s heart finally shattered.

The silver-haired boy jerked his head up, eyes wide with disbelief; Yosuke gave a strangled cry and ran for the door, yelling, “ _Doctor, somebody, anybody, help!_

* * *

It was a repeat of events from not even an hour before, with the group standing around the foot of Nanako’s bed, crying, and Souji talking to the doctor; this time, however, they were tears of joy, and Souji could only stare at the little girl with a dazed expression as he listened to the doctor try to explain what none of them felt the need to understand. The door opened, and he heard his uncle’s voice choke out his cousin’s name; turning, their eyes met.

For the first time in weeks, Souji saw Dojima smile, mouthing “thank you.”

* * *

They weren’t allowed much time with Nanako, but they separated in the lobby with higher spirits, although they knew things were still far from over. After a group promise to meet the next day and try to puzzle out the newest mystery, Souji headed home with Yosuke at his side. The walk was quiet, neither saying much of anything.

Once inside, Souji went to make tea; when he turned with the mugs, he found Yosuke standing in the doorway, eyes downcast, cheeks red. “So, um… partner...” He looked up, meeting Souji’s eyes. “I’m really, _really_ sorry about earlier. I don’t-” He rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know what came over me. I was just so… _mad_ , and so scared, and I knew I couldn’t help you or Nanako and I just wanted to punch something, and-”

“Yosuke.” Souji set the tea down and put his hands on the brunette’s shoulders. “You have nothing to apologize about. I think I was only calm because I was so numb… and because I was terrified you’d do something you’d regret. It really… it means a lot to me that you cared so much about it, about Nanako.”

 _It’s not just Nanako, you idiot_. Yosuke smiled, putting a hand on Souji’s arm as it rested on his shoulder. “Thanks.” 

“It’s what partners are for, right?” Souji smiled at Yosuke, the same smile the brunette had seen him give Nanako that first day by the riverbank, that he'd been chasing ever since.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **takoyaki** \- fried dough balls with octopus


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 21 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know some folks may be disappointed by the way I gloss over some aspects of this chapter, I wasn't planning any changes to those events (beyond, perhaps, making them a little less important than they are in the game), as _this_ story is Yosuke's and Souji's (and Nanako's), and I didn't want to spend valuable fluff time re-describing events that we've all played through.
> 
> While there are still issues to tackle, everything from here on out will more than likely be pure, self-indulgent fluff. Exceptions will be noted. You have been warned.
> 
> Song quoted is "Satsuki" by Kagrra, off the album _San_.

“ _Adachi?_ ” Souji blinked, looking sideways at Yosuke. “You really think so?”

Yosuke exhaled, his breath a puff of white in the foggy, early-December evening; he looked troubled, and Naoto lowered her gaze from the sky, nodding slowly.

“It fits all of the clues, such as how Adachi-san showed up everywhere we were, always dropping hints and saying _just the wrong thing_ before clamming up and running off - the wrong thing always being exactly what we needed to know, or something that would change our investigation. He was the one who said that about Namatame, too, do you remember?” She looked sideways at Yosuke, who flushed. “That he’d probably be let go.”

Looking pissed, Yosuke frowned. “So he was _trying_ to incite something.”

“It sounds that way.” She frowned. “Our talk with Namatame indicated that he’d contacted someone in the police department while Konishi-san was missing; I’m willing to guarantee it was Adachi, since he’s oft-complained that he’s forced to work the late shift on numerous occasions.”

The door behind them opened, and the others filed out. “Adachi?” Chie looked surprised. “But he’s an idiot.”

“Yes! He said he was just there to guard Yamano-san,” Yukiko followed up. “It seemed normal-”

“Wait, you mean… he came to the inn?” Naoto looked fierce, like a dog finally on the scent. “Yamano-san specifically asked for no police escort, I saw the records. There was no reason for police to be involved at that point, there had been no crime and her superiors were already looking into the allegations of an affair. Which, I may add, is a civil issue that does not involve the police.” She exhaled. “He was also the officer who ‘questioned’ Konishi-san. Several times, I may add, which was highly unusual as she had an airtight alibi and none of her statements were contradictory.”

“I heard he was callin’ out to third-year girls on the floodplain,” Kanji added. “I just thought, yanno, that’s how police are, but…”

“You know…” Souji looked thoughtful. “When I came to the station after uncle took Yosuke in, Adachi finally came out to talk to me. He asked whether or not I was okay with leaving Nanako home alone.”

“ _Bingo_.” Naoto looked angry. “Namatame admits he kidnapped Nanako, that’s not in question. We’ve long since suspected, however, that the true culprit was watching the Midnight Channel somewhere, we just thought they were involved in the kidnapping. Now I wonder if they weren’t watching to see things unfold, having already set the pieces in motion. Which means that there’s a good chance that whoever it was knew that the person shown would be the next victim.” Turning to Souji, she nodded. “He spends a lot of time at your house, he’d know Nanako better than any of us aside from yourself.”

“That _bastard!_ ” Yosuke clenched his fists. “We’ve got to put a stop to this!”

* * *

“ _So come and get me._ ” Adachi’s mocking words hung in the air as an entrance carved itself into the wall, taunting them. The group turned to each other, confused.

“Our world is doomed? What does _that_ mean?” Chie shivered.

“That’s, um… a pretty harsh deadline.” Kanji clenched his fists. “End of the year? The fog’ll eat everything? Tch, I can’t wait to punch that asshole in the face.”

Souji looked at Yosuke, who was staring at the ground; he moved to stand next to the brunette. “Hey. We’ll get him.”

Yosuke looked up, meeting Souji’s eyes; for a moment, he held the glance, and then nodded, looking around. “Tomorrow. It’s too late tonight, but we’ll go in first thing tomorrow, and we’ll keep going until we finish. Get geared up, get sleep, do whatever you need to do, because this is _finally it_.” He turned. “Teddie, _dude_ , you are coming home with me and if you try any stupid shit like that disappearing act again, I’ll-” 

“I’m sorry, sensei…” Teddie sidled up to Yosuke, who chuckled, and turned to Souji.

“You good for tomorrow? We can meet up early and go to Daidara’s, see if there’s any other gear we can get you.”

A nod. “Yeah. I’m gonna go read to Nanako for a couple of hours and then go home.”

“All right, partner. Text you later.”

* * *

The trip into the TV world was a lot different this time. Without the looming fear of _Nanako_ , Souji found it easier to take everything in, and now - to his secret pride - Yosuke included him in all of the planning with the rest of the group. He wasn’t expressly asked to guard Rise, but he figured it was probably still a good idea - Kanji and Naoto seemed to stick together, as did Chie and Yukiko, and until now Yosuke had been watching out for both Teddie and Rise; this gave him a chance to lighten Yosuke’s load, if just a bit. 

The entrance to Adachi’s world was close, something for which Souji was more than a little grateful. _I am going to embarrass the crap out of myself if I don’t stop staring at Yosuke, especially when we’re walking side-by-side_. Something about being in the TV world felt like being on a stage, and it was _different_ from the outside world; it wasn’t exactly that he and Yosuke were uncomfortable with each other… he just felt hyper-aware of his friend’s presence, at all times. _I wonder if it’s because of Izanagi and Jiraiya?_

Rise happily kept between Souji and Yosuke, although nobody talked; once they finally got into Adachi’s world - a wrecked and twisted version of Inaba, which surprised nobody after the corrupt detective’s selfish rant the day before - they paired off, as usual. 

This lasted until the fourth or fifth group of shadows. 

The enemies here were worse than they’d been anywhere else, or so the others told him. All he knew was that there was no ‘quick rampage’ this time, as there had been with Nanako’s Heaven; there were traps, dead-ends, and illusory obstacles everywhere. Each group was difficult, and when other enemies heard fighting and came to join the scrum, things could get a little hairy. 

In one such battle, Chie and Yosuke were in the thick of things, per usual, and Kanji was busy whaling on a particularly large shadow that was trying to eat Naoto, when Rise clutched Souji’s sleeve and pointed. “More!”

Nodding, Souji shouted for Teddie; the two of them ran into the fray, managing to intercept the newcomers before they could get the drop on Chie or Yosuke. Slicing through one, kicking it off his sword, Souji found himself back-to-back with Yosuke again; as frantic as it was, there seemed to be a circle of calm around the two of them, like the eye of a hurricane. 

“Hey, partner, thanks for the save.” Yosuke was out-of-breath, but Souji could tell he was still full of stamina, as if he was in the middle of a musical set just as the energy hit its peak. 

“Any time, partner.” Souji couldn’t help smiling, even as he sliced another shadow in half. “I’ve got your back.”

With a twinge of guilt that he shouldn’t feel _this_ good about their situation - _we're trying to save the world, after all_ \- Yosuke couldn’t stop his pulse from hammering, in time to the music pouring from his headphones, in time to their movements. _This is everything. This feels exactly like being on stage together… I should have known that we’d be able to fight together just like we can play together_. If he hadn’t been so breathless and focused, he’d probably have been a little overwhelmed by the sense of wonder. 

If the others noticed that from there on out, that was the new norm, no one mentioned it.

* * *

“ _What the hell is that?_ ”

They’d fought Adachi, as hard as it had been - as alarming as it was to realize that the detective had his _own_ persona, a nebulous and malevolent creature reeking of anger and resentment. It wasn’t usual - to be honest, none of this was usual for Souji, but he was a latecomer - but it wasn’t as weird as the _thing_ Namatame had turned into.

Until Adachi was defeated, and _then_ he turned into a _thing_.

It called itself Ameno-Sagiri. It claimed it had mankind’s interests at heart. 

Yosuke called it bullshit.

Standing side-by-side with Souji - who looked so much like his persona at that moment, so attractive that it almost _hurt_ \- the two nodded to one another. Souji gave a smile that Yosuke couldn’t quite interpret - it seemed wistful and bittersweet and proud and warm all at once - and nodded. 

“Let’s do this.”

* * *

Souji thought he’d been tired when they left Heaven - but then, he was so worried about Nanako that he really couldn’t remember anything beyond his own abject terror. He wasn’t prepared for how mind-numbingly exhausted they’d be, leaving Magatsu Inaba. They were supporting each other, left and right; Teddie was practically rolling in front of them to find their path home. Rise, who’d pushed herself and Kanzeon to the limit to help the group in the final fight, was all-but carried out by Kanji; Naoto clung to Kanji’s arm, and Chie and Yukiko, staggering along arm-in-arm, looked punch-drunk. Yosuke, who’d almost drained himself helping Yukiko with back-up healing, had his arms around Souji’s waist, his eyes closed, as his friend helped him find his footing along the way. 

_Don’t think about how warm he is, don’t think about how he smells like_ Yosuke, _don’t think about- oh god- wait, what, Yosuke, why are you burying your face in my side oh god-_

He knew it was just because his friend was so tired, and physical affection, even with friends, had never bothered the brunette. That didn’t stop it from making Souji _really_ uncomfortable, even as tired as he was. _Well, maybe_ uncomfortable _isn't exactly the right word_...

* * *

It was hard to tell, inside the TV or inside Junes, whether or not they’d been successful. With the help of some jelly vitamin drinks and a few bites of something Souji wasn’t sure he wanted to ask about - knowing only that they’d picked it up from the ‘holistic medicine’ section at Shiroku - they were at least able to pass as _not_ mugging victims when the police came to arrest Adachi.

When they stepped outside, however, everyone straightened up. The sky was a brilliant blue, not a cloud in sight; people stood in the streets, chattering excitedly, and children raced up and down the sidewalks, cheering.

Was it so surprising that Rise started to cry? Even Souji found his eyes dampening, as they all gathered in a circle, looking exhausted but relieved. 

“It’s… _over_.” He didn’t think Yosuke had ever sounded so happy. Souji understood.

* * *

Of course, with the mystery finally solved, things fell into a quiet, comfortable routine much more quickly than anyone would have expected. Yosuke suddenly became insanely busy after school again - it seemed to be a return to the old days, before he'd met Souji, which gnawed at Souji’s heart even as he pushed the irritation away. Yosuke wasn’t ignoring him, after all - they walked to school together every morning, frequently ate lunch together, and on nights the brunette didn’t have to work at Junes (or if he got off work early), he came over to the Dojimas’ house for dinner. Sometimes they’d watch movies, sometimes they’d play music. 

_The nights we play make up for the afternoons he’s busy_. He refused to think about the fact that he was jealous of whoever Yosuke happened to be on a date with that day; he remembered, all-too-well, his wariness at the beginning, his very vocal insistence that people not think they were dating. _I know that ship’s already sailed, if it was ever even here_.

It was enough that they were friends, _partners_.

* * *

_♪The outside of the glass covered in dripping drops_  
_Ah, is too far in the distance to see_  
_Ah, I’m trembling, leaning on my memories♪_

Souji was at home, one afternoon, listening to music. He’d just spent a few hours with Nanako - who was so far recovered that it seemed a nightmare that she’d ever been so sick - and he was feeling happy… but still melancholy. 

_I guess this is what they call being lovesick, although that_ really _sounds lame and I’m_ really _glad my uncle isn’t here to see me right now_.

 _♪My voice won’t reach you, it just slips through your fingers_  
_My tears are still unshed, I’m just looking for you♪_

Eyes closed, he ran his finger over the edge of his cell phone. So many times he’d wanted to text Yosuke, just a few notes at night, but he _knew_ his parents could request transcripts of his text messages at any time. It’d gotten to the point, since he’d mentioned wanting to hide things from his parents until he could break ties with them, that Yosuke didn’t even bother texting him. Souji had felt lonely about that, except that Yosuke had started keeping a notepad full of random messages that he’d hand Souji a page out of each morning, with a lopsided grin, and as happy as that made Souji, _I hate that I can’t just be a normal guy, like my friends_. As much as he hung out with the whole group, he didn’t even have their phone numbers, he didn’t dare.

 _♪Ah, far in the distance, my heart_  
_Ah, trembling, my heart is crying♪_

Finally, as the song spun to a close, he opened his eyes. Feeling a sense of resolve, he stood; turning off the CD player, he walked over to rummage in his sock drawer, where he’d been keeping the roll of yen he’d earned whenever he helped Yosuke fill in at Junes. Shrugging into his winter coat, he headed into town.

* * *

“Soooooooo, senpai, when are you gonna ask Souji-senpai out?”

Yosuke, who’d been sitting at a table in Junes during his work break, scribbling on a piece of paper, looked up at Rise, his expression stunned. “Wait- huh? Who said _anything_ \- I mean, _no_ , I mean, why do you think-?”

Most of the group was there, minus Teddie, Naoto, and Souji; Teddie was working, Naoto was busy that afternoon with her grandfather, and Souji had plans to meet them all later. Yosuke was hoping to finish what he was working on before Souji arrived. 

Chie snickered. “Wait, don’t tell me _Yosuke’s scared?_ ”

There was good-natured laughter - which threatened to turn into more with Yukiko - and Yosuke flushed.

“That’s not true!” _Okay, it is, but I’m not going to let fear get the better of me_. “I just have plans to make, okay!”

They laughed again, and the brunette’s face darkened, but Kanji just leaned back, scratching his cheek. “Well, yanno… Yosuke-senpai is the only one who saw Souji-senpai’s shadow, right?”

“Yeah?” Rise raised an eyebrow. “We already decided we weren’t going to pry about that.”

“Well, no shit, that’s not what I’m saying. I just thought, maybe, well… maybe Yosuke-senpai knows what’s up with Souji-senpai, the kind of things he’s going through, or what’s worrying him, or how he feels.” The others fell silent, and he ignored Yosuke’s jaw as it dropped. “Maybe he’s just gotta fix that stuff, first, yanno?”

Chie blinked, wide-eyed. “Wow.” She looked at her friend. “Yosuke, that’s… kind of cool.” 

When the others nodded, Yosuke spluttered. “Wait, what the _hell_ , you guys? Since when are you willing to listen to Kanji, but not _me?_ ”

“Since you _dumped us all_ , you dork!” Chie rolled her eyes, affectionately. 

Everybody started to laugh, but then Chie’s words actually sank in, and to a person, they all fell silent, looking at each other with wide eyes.

“Wait.” Rise was the first one to recover. “Wait, did senpai really dump _everybody?_ ”

“Yeah.” Yukiko’s voice was slow. “Kou already asked Chie out.” If she sounded a bit jealous, nobody called her on it.

All eyes turned to Yosuke, who blinked, looking like a deer caught in headlights. Before he could say anything, Rise squealed.

“ _Ohmigodohmigod you’re actually in love with Souji-senpai!_ ”

“SHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Yosuke jumped up, putting a hand over Rise’s mouth, hissing “Souji could get here any minute, _stop it!_ ”

“But, Yosuke, you should-” Chie looked excited. 

“Oh my god you guys, _I know what I’m doing, okay?_ ” He threw himself back into his seat, looking exasperated; the clock told him that it was too close to Souji’s planned arrival for him to work safely any more, so he shoved the paper into his pocket. 

_Well, I_ hope _I know what I’m doing_...


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 22 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, fluffy fluff, more fluff, and fluff, which is p perfect bc 22 is my lucky number.

_“Well, I’m not Nanako, but do you wanna hang out on Christmas eve?”_

_“My folks aren’t gonna be around, so what say we chill out on Christmas eve?”_

_“You busy on Christmas eve? We’ve got time, wanna hang out?”_

Yosuke was so busy trying - and failing - to think of a _not weird_ way to ask Souji if he wanted to hang out on Christmas eve that he didn’t realize he’d already reached their usual meeting place. It was the last day of class before winter break, and Souji was standing at the corner, a brilliant smile on his face.

 _Wait… holy shit… is that for me- no, it can’t be_ \- The shorter boy raised an eyebrow. “What’s got you so cheerful _this_ early? That excited to be out of class for two weeks?”

Souji chuckled. “Dojima-san just called. He and Nanako are coming home for the New Year!” 

While Yosuke couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across his face - they _all_ missed Nanako, after all - he felt his stomach flip. _Oh_. As his mind’s eye watched his meticulous plans all start to flutter away, he swallowed, then nodded. “That’s awesome! When will they be here?”

“Christmas day, some time after lunch.” 

... _that’s perfect!_ With another grin, the spring back in his step - _I worked hard on this, dammit!_ \- he brushed his bangs out of his eyes. “Awesome! You know what we gotta do, right? Let’s get together on Christmas eve and cook up a bunch of great stuff for them!”

Souji looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “Were you thinking of inviting the group?”

 _Hell no_. “Nah, I mean… okay, between you and me, I owe you the story of Mystery Food X - we’re not putting Nanako-chan back in the hospital! Besides.” He tried to keep his nervousness out of his voice. “I figured it might be kinda fun to just cook together. I’m not the worst, and I’m always just watching you, so…”

“Yeah.” Souji smiled at him - _holy shit, it’s amazing how different that smile is now_ \- and Yosuke laughed, a little defensively.

“I gotta work the morning shift, so… meet up after lunch?”

“Sounds good. Now, what’s that Mystery Food X story?”

“So, back at the class trip - dude, you are _so_ lucky you missed it…”

* * *

Christmas eve morning came, and Souji was a wreck. He and Yosuke had been spending a lot of time together, sure, but this was really the first time they’d made advance plans to do so. _Honestly, I’m surprised he’s not spending it with one of his many dates_ \- A pause. _Ah. He can’t make them all happy by picking one, so he’s going the safe route_. 

He was a little disappointed, but it made sense, and, well, it wasn’t worth fretting over. Not that it was going to _stop_ him from fretting, of course, as he went back - for the fourth or fifth time - on whether or not he should get Yosuke a gift. _I mean… it’s not really a holiday like that… but_ … Ugh. _I mean technically I’ve already confessed, although he very clearly is letting it slide, but is it really wrong to want to give him_ something? _Even just as friends?_

As lunch approached, he finally made up his mind, grabbing his coat to head out; he was gone for about a quarter of an hour. Returning with a small box under his arm, he was glad to see that Yosuke hadn’t yet arrived; it gave him enough time to stash it in the fridge before starting to pull down all of the ingredients they’d be using for dinner and prep for the next day. _I hope Yosuke brings his guitar, though. It’d be nice to play a little, and not just cook. It_ is _Christmas eve… I can pretend, just a bit_.

He sat down at the kotatsu, nervously, switching the TV on to see the weather; he kept watching the clock, wondering where Yosuke was. After about fifteen minutes, he ran upstairs - not even really sure _what_ he was doing now - and came down, dressed in a rather nice turtleneck and khakis, just as there was a knock at the door. Hoping he didn’t look _too_ foolish, he went to answer it.

Yosuke was waiting, as expected; as hoped, he had his guitar slung across his back, with a big box in his arms. He blinked for a moment, and Souji realized that it was probably _really_ weird that he’d dressed up at all, but it was too late now, so he just offered to take the box. 

His friend seemed to hesitate, but then let him have it with an admonished, “But don’t look!” which _of course_ made Souji curious as hell, but he didn’t want to ruin anything, so he just carried it in and set it beside the kotatsu. 

Turning back, he realized that Yosuke was also dressed up - not exactly _fancy_ , but he had on a nice, long-sleeved black shirt _without a band logo_ on it, and jeans that weren’t holey. If Souji didn’t know it’d be weird to say something, he would have blurted out, “You look good,” but he bit his tongue.

“Tea?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Yosuke sat down at the kotatsu. “Haven’t seen you dressed up like that before. Looks good.” 

_How does he_ do _that?_ Souji was glad he had to face away to fill the kettle, as it gave him time to wipe the blush off his face. “Thanks, just figured, hey. Haven’t really had a chance, you know?”

“Yeah, I get ya.” Yosuke fiddled with the box next to him. _Now, or later? Now, or- oh fuck it, if I’m going to wreck shit, let’s just get it over with_. He took a deep breath and pulled out a medium-sized box, sliding it over to Souji’s usual seat - Yosuke was sitting in _his_ usual seat, between Souji and Nanako, his back to the TV. Even if Dojima was rarely home, he didn’t feel comfortable taking the detective’s spot. 

A few minutes later, Souji came back to the table, carrying two mugs of genmaicha; the box made him stop and blink. “Er?” He handed Yosuke his tea.

“Just something… um… small.” Yosuke tried to keep the quiver out of his voice. “Go ahead, open it.”

The care with which Souji set his own tea down belied the tremor in his hands as he slid the top off the box; a pair of headphones, identical to Yosuke’s except for their steel-blue colour, came into view, and Souji’s eyes widened as he looked up at Yosuke.

 _Okay, it’s going okay so far_ … Yosuke grinned. “Keep going.” Pulling out the headphones, Souji found them wrapped around a small, silver MP3 player. 

“You said you didn’t have one, so… I figured, well… best way to share music, yeah?” He fidgeted with the edge of his sleeve. “Why don’t you… uh… turn it on? Check out the playlists.”

By this point, Souji looked dazed. _This is… wow, I wish I’d gotten him more, now_. He knew that it would be rude to express any guilt, though, so he picked up the player and turned it on; there were thousands of songs on it already. Scrolling down to the playlists, he started to smile. 

“ _TV stuff_ ” - _okay, I guess that’s his shadow world playlist_.

“ _Nanako’s stuff_ ” - _huh, okay, I remember her saying she liked_ that _song, and_ “Ahaha, you totally downloaded the Junes song for Nanako, she’ll love that.” Yosuke grinned, but he was getting openly nervous by this point.

“ _Play together_ ” - Souji raised an eyebrow, seeing several songs they’d already talked about learning together; he smiled, feeling his shoulders relax a little in the warmth. 

When he got to the next playlist, Souji dropped the MP3 player like it was a live coal, his face immediately lobster-red. _Is this a joke?_ He looked down at the playlist name on the screen. 

“ _I love you_ ”

For a second, he forgot how to breathe; jerking his head up to look at Yosuke, he realized that the brunette was _also_ holding his breath, and the look on his face was one that Souji had only seen in his dreams. Hesitantly, Yosuke nodded at it. “K-keep looking…”

After one hesitant thumb-swipe, Souji froze. 

“ _Go out with me?_ ” was the last playlist. 

Souji was still having trouble breathing, and damned if he could find his voice; a million thoughts rushed through his brain, and none of them stopped, and finally, he shut his mouth. Looking up, he realized there were tears in his eyes, but he just swallowed. “I- I just- I don’t-” 

At “I don’t-,” Yosuke blanched. “Shit, dude, uh, don’t worry, I mean, don’t let it bother-” He was red now, too, and seemed to be forcing himself to stay calm even as his stomach plummeted.

He stopped when Souji put his hands up to his face. He couldn’t tell if the silver-haired boy was crying or just trying to breathe, but either way, Yosuke bit his lip, waiting. _This isn't… oh god_ … Even his inner voice was faint.

Finally, Souji swallowed - he’d been trying to compose himself, not exactly crying - and looked up. The look in his eyes was enough to knock Yosuke’s admittedly-weak knees out from underneath him; he was lucky he was sitting. “Uh. Partner?” he croaked. “Could you say something?”

“ _Idon’tbelieveitohmygodIloveyousomuchbutIdon’t-you’vegot-Ican’t-whatabouttheothers_ -” It all came out in a breathless rush, Souji’s face somehow, impossibly, even more red than before. 

_Thank god I did this right_. Yosuke bit his lip, hesitantly reaching out to touch Souji’s hand. “It’s over, with everybody. Er, everybody except you.” A pause. “I hope,” he amended, faintly.

Souji’s eyes widened again. “Wait, you what?” Realization dawned. “That’s why you’ve been so busy the last few weeks!”

A nod. “Yeah. I wanted to do this right. Um. So-”

His hands shaking, Souji wrapped them around his knees. “But- my parents, and I’m broken, and my shadow, and…” The look in his eyes was heartbreaking, and Yosuke, growing brave, took one of Souji’s hands, wrapping his own around it. 

“You’ve already got a plan for your parents. They don’t scare me. We’ll make it work. And you’re not broken!” Carefully, he scooted towards the corner of the table, sitting closer to Souji. “I remember what your shadow said, that I only wanted people I could fix. Maybe… maybe that used to be right. That’s probably why I got on so well with everybody else. But… I didn’t want to _stay_ with everybody else.”

Silver eyes met amber. “You want to stay with me?” His voice was quiet, barely daring to hope. _I’m dreaming, I have to be_.

A fierce nod as Yosuke squeezed his hand, tracing the back of it with his thumb. “I want to stay with you. I want to see you grow stronger, I want to grow _with_ you. God.” He pushed his bangs out of his eyes, looking almost desperate. “You don’t… know... “ Shaking his head, he gave a little smile. “Nobody else ever made me feel this way. I never thought about anybody this much, never _dreamed_ about them like I do you. I _love_ you, partner.”

Souji’s mouth was open again, in surprise, and he just held tightly to Yosuke’s hand. “You’re-” His voice sounded broken. “Nobody but Nanako has ever loved me before.” 

Before he could break down, Yosuke reached out, pulling him into a firm and gentle hug, what he’d been wanting to do since that day on the riverbank. “More people care about you than you think… but I kind of hope I don't have too much competition.” He sounded just a _little_ jealous, and Souji smiled a bit, face buried against Yosuke’s shoulder. 

After a few minutes - minutes that were torture for Yosuke, who _really wanted to kiss Souji_ \- the silver-haired boy looked up. “Losing… almost losing Nanako… made me realise what really matters in life.” His voice was rough. “My shadow was right. You and Nanako… you gave my life meaning. You make everything _real_ , and… I’ve been in love with you for probably longer than I’m willing to admit, even now.” 

As relief flooded through Yosuke, he closed his eyes for a moment, catching his breath; his arms were still around Souji and he pulled back, just a bit. “So, is that… a yes?”

Shifting a bit so that he wasn’t half-lying in Yosuke’s lap, Souji nodded. “Yes.” 

If he’d meant to say anything more, it was lost when Yosuke kissed him. 

Other than in his dreams, it was Souji’s first kiss, but it was a thousand times better than his dreams, even if Yosuke still tasted faintly of beeswax. The brunette’s lips were soft and warm, and with a sigh, Souji wrapped his arms around Yosuke’s chest, leaning in as he clung to the soft black fabric of his shirt.

It wasn’t Yosuke’s first kiss, but if he’d been able to consciously form words, he would probably have ranked it in the top three - if not for technique, for sheer _happiness_. He could tell that Souji was still nervous, so he didn’t push it too far; he just nibbled softly at his friend’s - _boyfriend’s_ \- lower lip, which was no longer salty from tears, which was good. _Souji shouldn’t taste like sadness_. Carefully, he slid a hand up, gently tangling his fingers in silver hair; Souji made a noise at this that _really_ made Yosuke want to push him back against the floor cushions, but he knew better.

_Not now. We’ve got time._

Eventually, Yosuke pulled back, and Souji - eyes closed - almost moved forward with him, but the taller boy gave a small, shuddering breath that _did things_ to Yosuke, before blinking his eyes open. “Um. Wow.” He was bright pink.

“Yeah.” Yosuke smiled. “You sure you’re okay with this? I mean... “ Souji _looked_ at him, and he laughed, quietly. “Okay. Good.” 

Hesitantly, Souji slid his hand over Yosuke’s. “So, uh…” He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “I um… well… I pretty much spent the whole morning convincing myself this wasn’t anything special, so I don’t… I didn’t get you much. It’s, um… dinner. And-” He brightened. “Hang on.”

He ran upstairs, and Yosuke really _hated_ the lack of warmth on his hand, but well, it gave him time to pull out his other gift, sitting the cake box on the table as he sipped his tea, made exactly how he liked it. It wasn’t long before he heard Souji’s footsteps flying back down the stairs, and Yosuke took the chance, as Souji sat, to scoot back over next to him so that they were sitting close enough for their hips to touch, enjoying the blush it brought to the silver-haired boy’s cheeks.

“Well…” He showed Yosuke what he was holding; it was a phone, not the top of the line, but still pretty nice, enough for apps and maybe video chat. “It’s _mine_ , I got it with the money I saved from those days working at Junes.”

“ _Dude_.” Yosuke couldn’t stop himself from smiling. “So your parents-” 

“-won’t even know I have it.” A shy smile. “You can text me all you want, I got the unlimited package.” Flipping it open, he scrolled over to the address screen, where there were three entries - “Uncle,” “Nanako,” and “Yosuke.” “I want… I want everybody’s number, but I wanted to give mine to you, first.” 

“See, that’s a perfect gift. And I gotta say, _you're_ the perfect gift.” Yosuke leaned over to place a soft kiss behind Souji’s ear, and the _sound_ Souji made - almost dropping the phone - was almost enough to make Yosuke do it again, but he _did_ want his boyfriend’s new number. 

He’d just finished keying it in, when he paused. “Hang on.” He looked back at Souji’s phone, then started to _laugh_. “You already downloaded Neko Atsume?”

Souji flushed. “Um. I got bored, and… Nanako likes it?”

Yosuke buried his face in Souji’s shoulder, inhaling the scent that was so uniquely his, and smiled. “Don’t ever change.”

Looking embarrassed, Souji spotted the new box on the table. “What’s that?”

“Hmm? Oh. That goes with dinner. Can I put it in the fridge?”

“Yeah.” A smile. “Just hurry back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry. Christmas isn't over. I said this was going to be ridiculously self-indulgent, didn't I?
> 
>  **genmaicha** \- green tea with roasted brown rice  
>  **Neko Atsume** \- "Kitty Collector", a mobile device app in which you play with cats


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 23 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 157% fluff, completely self indulgent. I have no excuses, and no shame. I also may not have much of a chance to update for the next few days, but it's just because I'm going to be working 14+ hours a day running an anime con, not because the story is on hiatus. I'll write more as soon as I can!

“Dude, you really did half the prep already, didn’t you?” Yosuke looked around the kitchen, having just closed the fridge. He was rewarded by a warm chuckle and the rustle of the kotatsu blanket as Souji walked into the kitchen behind him.

“I just got the ingredients out, cut some vegetables; I was looking forward to doing some cooking with you, to be honest. Nanako will be ecstatic to know that Yosuke-nii helped out.” 

Yosuke turned to see Souji standing less than an arm’s-length away, a quiet smile on his face; the brunette grinned back, and Souji moved in, hesitantly leaning towards Yosuke. His kiss was softer than Yosuke’s had been, and shy, but it was full of feeling and Yosuke wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him close. “Mmmmm.” _Wow. Such a small height difference makes it_ so _much nicer_. When Souji pulled away to catch his breath, Yosuke closed his eyes, leaning in to kiss his jaw, which made Souji whimper. 

The implications of _that_ were more than Yosuke could reasonably allow himself to consider at the moment, and he coughed, swallowing hard. “So, er - what’s the plan? What are we cooking, how long do you think it’ll take? Are we doing dinner, too?”

“Dinner is already taken care of, that’s my gift to you.” Souji looked a little lost when Yosuke pulled away, and Yosuke responded by slipping an arm around his waist, a motion that both embarrassed and pleased the silver-haired boy. “And, to be honest… I won’t want to cook _everything_ today. The sesame renkon, tsukemono, and tamagoyaki I can make ahead of time, and I’ll want to prep the chicken to sit overnight, but I won’t want to fry it, or the tofu, or make the miso soup until tomorrow. I do want to make some cookies for Nanako; she asked for taiyaki, too, but that’s something for tomorrow, too. So, I guess… an hour for the cookies, an hour for the other dishes?” He looked sideways at Yosuke. “Of course… that’s if you, um…” His cheeks flared. “Wanted to stay over.”

Yosuke just smiled at this, as Souji leaned into the brunette’s shoulder. “I kinda hoped you’d ask.” Yosuke smiled, but Souji’s nervousness hadn’t evaded his notice. “And don’t worry.” Turning his head, he pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s temple. “I’m not interested in anything you’re not ready for.” As Souji flushed more, but also looked relieved, he chuckled. “I brought my guitar, we should spend some time playing.”

Souji sighed into his shoulder, contentedly, before straightening up. “I was hoping we could.” He looked at the clock. “It’s still early, you want to go do that?”

“Absolutely.”

* * *

While watching Yosuke tune his guitar, Souji couldn’t stop his thoughts, mostly focused around _holy shit_ and _if this is a dream, I’m going to cry_. He tried to busy himself with his violin, but Yosuke eventually looked over, a crooked grin on his face. “It’s okay, I can’t believe it, either.”

It seemed normal that Yosuke had been able to tell what he was thinking, so he just smiled. “I don’t get why, I mean… you heard my shadow, right?”

“Yeah, but…” Yosuke scratched his cheek. “Well, for one thing, your shadow said a lot of things. For another, I could tell it was something that really bothered you; feeling that way didn’t mean you were going to say _yes_. For a third, well… it mattered too much for me to just assume it was true. If you’d said no, I would have been…” He shook his head, flushing a bit. “Well, yeah. Everything’s good.” 

Souji flushed in return, hurriedly tightening his bow. “I don’t think you’ll ever have to worry about that,” he mumbled. Yosuke just smiled.

* * *

It really should have been expected that playing together would feel _that_ much better, now that they’d opened up to one another. It wasn’t until Yosuke’s stomach grumbled, effectively interrupting their session, that they realized the afternoon had passed. Souji turned red, and for a second Yosuke wondered if he was embarrassed, but then he realized Souji’s shoulders were shaking with laughter. 

“So sexy.”

“Shut up.” Yosuke flushed, poking his leg. “It’s your fault. You promised me a Christmas dinner.”

“I’m sorry, I was busy enjoying your singing.” Souji leaned over to smirk at him. “But ask and ye shall receive.” Setting the violin aside, he stood up, even as Yosuke looked embarrassed and pleased at the same time.

“I’ll help-”

“You stay there.” Souji pushed on his head, making him sit back down, and Yosuke stuck his tongue out. “You need to put up your guitar, anyway, and will you put up my violin?”

“Of course.” Touched that Souji trusted him with it, he put the violin away first; he was just zipping up his guitar case when Souji came back, carrying a large tray. “What’s- woah. Dude!”

Smiling, Souji placed the platter of sushi out in the middle of the table, then followed up with the rice, miso soup, and tea. “I know fried chicken is the traditional meal, but… I remembered someone begging for hotate last time, so…” He gestured to the tray, which was all top-quality hotate, toro, unagi, and ebi. “We’ll share this time.”

Laughing, Yosuke grabbed a piece and leaned over to give Souji a quick kiss, which made the other boy blush. “You’re the best. And afterwards, there’s cake… partner.”

* * *

Once they’d finished the small Christmas cake - which actually had the word “partner” written across the top and Souji had _blushed_ so hard that Yosuke made a resolve to repeat it every year - Souji cleaned up the table. 

“We should probably start cooking soon.” He looked at the clock in the kitchen.

“Mmhmm.” Yosuke’s voice was quiet; he sounded half-asleep.

“Yosuke?” Souji raised an eyebrow. 

“Mhmm?”

Walking back into the living room, he saw that Yosuke was leaning over the table, head on one hand, eyes closed. Slowly, Souji walked over. _Is he that tired- whaaa!_

As he leaned in, Yosuke’s eyes shot open and he grabbed Souji’s wrist, pulling him down to the floor next to him - Souji’s reflexes were good, but Yosuke’s were _better_ , and while the brunette made sure Souji ended up on top of one of the cushions, he also made sure _he_ ended up on top of Souji. Smirking.

“Well, hello there.”

Souji was pink, and wide-eyed, _and there’s no way Yosuke can’t hear my heart from here_. He licked his lips. “Um. Hi.”

For a second, Yosuke’s eyes softened. “This isn’t too much, is it?”

Shaking his head quickly, Souji slid his hands up, resting them on Yosuke’s shoulders, and the brunette smirked, leaning forward to brush his lips against Souji’s. This elicited a breathless sigh from Souji, and Yosuke leaned in for a long, slow kiss, this time teasing his boyfriend’s tongue with his own, tilting his head and cupping Souji’s cheek with his hand. 

Souji felt as if time could have stopped and he wouldn’t have cared. He didn’t even care that they had cooking to do, and when Yosuke’s lips moved from his own, down his jaw - pausing to kiss his ear - and then down his throat, he could only shudder. He was pretty sure he was making the soft, whimpering sounds that filled the space between them, but he didn’t care about that, either. All he could do was slide an arm around Yosuke’s waist as he tangled his other hand in the brunette’s hair, and hold on. 

With Yosuke’s lips at his throat, the whimpers turned to moans, even when the soft kisses were alternated with sharp, burning _pulls_ ; he was about to dissolve under the kotatsu when Yosuke finally raised his head, his eyes glassy with arousal. “You just had to wear a turtleneck, didn’t you?”

“Huh?” Souji - who looked just as dazed, and Yosuke found the expression _delicious_ \- raised an eyebrow, then remembered the burning kisses at his throat, and flushed. “Uh. I wasn’t expecting today to turn out like this?”

A chuckle. “I bet. But, um.” His eyes focused, and when he looked down at Souji’s neck, he blushed. “Do you have another turtleneck? You’re going to want to wear it tomorrow…”

Souji flushed harder, shaking his head. “Uhh... shit?”

They stared at one another for a second, and then both started to snicker at the same time. “Well, I guess there’s only one way to solve the problem.” Ghosting his hands down Souji’s stomach, Yosuke paused to watch the expressions on his boyfriend’s face, both to enjoy them and to make sure he wasn’t making Souji uncomfortable. 

When he reached the bottom of the shirt, he slid his hands up under, slowly sliding the shirt up, biting his lip as ran his eyes over Souji’s slim form. The taller boy sat up to help pull the shirt over his head, and Yosuke threw it onto the couch as he leaned in to kiss Souji’s collarbones. “That’s better.”

Souji, meanwhile, slid a hand up Yosuke’s shirt, splaying his fingers against the brunette’s belly as he started to nuzzle his neck, and suddenly _Yosuke_ was the one moaning, and it was all Souji could do not to bite down on his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

“Holy shit, partner…” Yosuke pulled back, then kissed Souji, hard, pushing him back until he was leaning against the edge of the kotatsu. The kiss felt like it lasted an eternity, and when Souji finally pulled back he saw the wall clock with dizzy, half-focused eyes.

“Yosuke.”

“Mmm?” Yosuke was sucking on his neck again, and _oh my god_ did he want it to last forever.

“If we’re going to do anything in the kitchen, we need to get started. I love you and I could do this all night, but uncle and Nanako _are_ coming home tomorrow…”

Yosuke gave one last nip and leaned back to examine his handiwork with a sigh. “You’re right, you’re right… I really _do_ want to do something nice for them, and I really don’t want to give your uncle more reason to be mad at me. Which, um… yeah. You need to wear that shirt tomorrow.” Souji flushed, and Yosuke chuckled, softly. “Sorry.”

* * *

After Souji changed into a shirt _without_ a collar - hanging the turtleneck up for the morrow - he came downstairs to find Yosuke already slicing the renkon. Smiling, he started to mix soy and garlic to marinate the chicken. For a while, neither talked other than to ask for a spice or exchange a utensil; the silence was warm, however, and it just felt _comfortable_. 

Most of the dishes Souji had planned Yosuke already knew how to make - although Souji occasionally asked him to change something up to suit his own personal recipes, and Yosuke let Souji handle the tamagoyaki, enjoying the precise movements of Souji's hands. _I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about those hands… elsewhere_ … he shifted. _But I know Souji isn’t ready for that… and that’s okay_. He met Souji’s eyes, and smiled, and the silver-haired boy leaned over to give him a kiss. _Yeah. More than okay_.

Once everything was put away for the next day, Souji cleaned up the counter and set out flour, ginger, and spices. “Ever made gingerbread cookies?”

Yosuke shook his head. “Nope.” 

“Well, there’s always a first time.” Pushing Yosuke to the counter, he stood to the side and instead of doing it himself, started to give his boyfriend directions. Yosuke side-eyed him, although he had to admit it wasn’t _that_ hard - but once Souji started to ‘help’ by brushing a hand against Yosuke’s, or murmuring a step he’d missed into his ear, softly, he couldn’t help but snicker - in between shivers.

“You planned this.”

“I did not.” Souji looked affronted, although Yosuke _knew_ better. 

“I see you hiding a smirk.”

“Think about how _happy_ Nanako’s going to be when she sees the gingerbread bunnies you made for her.”

“ _We_ made.” Yosuke chuckled. “All right, all right.” He took out the rolling pin, and when Souji wrapped his arms around Yosuke’s waist to help, he grabbed a pinch of flour and flicked it back at Souji. 

“Wha-?!” The silver-haired boy dodged, though not _quite_ quickly enough, and grabbed a pinch of his own, and suddenly there was flour everywhere as they both stood there, laughing helplessly.

“Ugh.” Souji wiped the flour off his cheek. “You’ve got it all over your black shirt.”

Yosuke’s face fell as he looked down. “Shit. I didn’t bring a change of clothes, either.”

“Mmm, you finish the cookies - the oven is set, just put them in for ten minutes. While you do that, I’ll sweep the kitchen. We can each get a shower, and I’ll throw our clothes - and that turtleneck - into the wash. I needed to do some laundry, anyway.”

* * *

An hour later, the ginger-bunnies were cooling on top of the fridge, the washing machine was running, and both boys sat on Souji’s couch, having just finished separate showers. Yosuke was wearing the spare set of pajamas he usually borrowed, and they were leaning against each other’s shoulders, warm and comfortable. Souji yawned.

“It’s been a long day, hasn’t it?” Yosuke smiled, bumping his forehead against Souji’s.

“Yeah, but…” A soft smile. “It was hands-down one of the best days of my life. Past _or_ future.”

“Me too.” After a gentle kiss, Yosuke nuzzled Souji’s neck before starting to pull away so he could stand. “So. Shall we get the spare futon ready?”

A pause, as Souji slid his arms around Yosuke’s waist from behind. “Um.” He flushed. “While I don’t think I’m ready-” he swallowed nervously. “Well, you know what I mean, but would you like to at least share my futon?” He paused again. “It’s cold outside. We could snuggle," he added, his voice hopeful, if muffled against the back of his boyfriend's shoulder.

Yosuke turned back around. “Are you sure? I told you I wouldn’t ask anything you’re not comfortable with… but you’re right, it _is_ cold outside. Maybe we’ll have a white Christmas.”

Souji tightened his arms, sighing happily, then stood, offering Yosuke a hand. “Then, shall we?”

* * *

The lights were out, and it was snug inside the single futon, but with Souji’s arms around Yosuke, they fit perfectly well and neither had a complaint in the world. Yosuke rolled over, wrapping his arms around Souji’s waist; leaning up, he kissed him. “G’night, partner. I love you.” His voice was soft and full of feeling, and Souji smiled, leaning down to meet his lips again. 

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **sesame renkon** \- lotus root sauteed in sesame oil and soy with sesame seeds  
>  **tsukemono** \- 'pickled things' - a dish of pickled vegetables  
>  **tamagoyaki** \- sweet rolled eggs  
>  **miso** \- soy paste, red or white  
>  **taiyaki** \- a pastry make of pancake-like dough stuffed with a filling (usually red bean paste, or 'anko') and baked; the traditional mold shape is a fish, but they are sometimes sold in other designs  
>  **hotate** \- scallop  
>  **toro** \- fatty tuna  
>  **unagi** \- eel  
>  **ebi** \- shrimp


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 24 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

“Mmmf.” Souji woke slowly, feeling cold; keeping his arms inside the futon, he stretched. For a moment, something felt off, then he remembered the night before. Realizing that his futon was empty, he frowned, a sinking feeling in his stomach. _Not another dream_ …

Feeling small, and lonely, he curled up into a little knot; even if Nanako and his uncle were coming home today, he didn’t _want_ to get up, give up the last remnants of the dream where Yosuke-

A chuckle broke through his thoughts. “All I can make is miso and rice, so if you want anything more than that and coffee you’ll probably want to do some cooking.” Souji’s eyes flew open, and he saw Yosuke leaning against the doorway, dressed in his (now dry) clothes from the day before, arms crossed. “I _still_ never would have pegged you for a slow-morning kinda guy.” 

Unable to stop - not _wanting_ to stop - the slow smile from spreading across his lips, Souji sat up, rubbing his face. Stretching again, he blinked as his something caught his hands and he found himself being pulled to his feet and into a kiss. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

Souji just closed his eyes, leaning against Yosuke’s shoulder; Yosuke laughed. “Oh, man… I’m kinda jealous of Nanako-chan if she gets to see you like this every morning.”

“Then we should move in together.” Souji might feel embarrassed over his early-morning lack of inner monologue in about an hour, but for now, he said what he felt, and while Yosuke widened his eyes a bit, he just ran his fingers through Souji’s hair. “Yeah, lets. It’ll be a few years, but I’ll wait.”

“Good.” Souji wrapped his arms around Yosuke’s waist, leaning his head on his shoulder; he closed his eyes and the the brunette sighed. 

“ _Partner_ , breakfast will get cold, don’t go back to sleep…”

* * *

An hour later, Souji was sitting at the table, staring at his rice. “Don’t- ugh. Don’t listen to me until I’ve been up for at least an hour.”

“What, you don’t want to move in together once you’re free from your parents? You wound me.” Yosuke’s words were teasing, but there was the slightest hint of an edge to them, a drop of nervousness, and Souji looked up.

“Well, I mean…” He chewed his lip. “I want to, I’m just… scared to think about the future.”

“I know.” Yosuke reached around the bowls of soup and mugs of coffee to gently squeeze Souji’s hand. “One day at a time, at least for now. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” The corners of Souji’s eyes crinkled with a smile that stole Yosuke’s breath, and the brunette shook his head. “You’re so not fair.”

“Well, neither are you.” Souji smirked, picking up his soup.

* * *

“We’re home!” Souji was just draining the grease from the karaage as the door opened, and Nanako burst around the corner, having slipped out of her shoes in record time. “Big bro!”

He put the plate down in time to catch her as she threw herself at him, lifting her into a big hug; Yosuke was reminded of that day by the riverbank, but the look on Souji’s face was so much _more_ happy now that he couldn’t help feeling a little proud. After Souji kissed her cheek, she turned. 

“Yosuke-nii!” She reached out, and hugged him, too - still in Souji’s arms - and he grinned.

“Welcome home, Nanako-chan! I hope you’re hungry, we’ve been cooking up a storm.”

“Whaaa? You cooked, too, Yosuke-nii?” She clapped. 

Souji grinned. “Yep, Yosuke-nii also made ginger-bunny cookies.” 

Nanako looked stunned, and Yosuke rubbed his neck. “Hey, your big bro helped, you know…”

“Hello, Hanamura.” 

Dojima walked into the kitchen, a gruff look on his face that softened ever-so-slightly when he saw Nanako glowing in Souji’s arms, her arms around Yosuke’s shoulders. He looked back and forth between his nephew and his nephew’s friend, raised an eyebrow, and shrugged. “Thanks for keeping Souji company.”

Yosuke, who knew _exactly_ how observant the detective was, couldn’t help wondering if maybe he’d been a little too rough on Souji the day before, and whether or not the turtleneck was high enough, and he just nodded, trying not to squeak when he responded, “Yessir, of course.”

Souji seemed not to notice, or mind; he set Nanako down, then gave his uncle a hug. “I hope you two are hungry?”

“Yep, Nanako insisted we save room for big bro’s cooking, so here we are.” He sniffed, appreciatively. “You boys went all-out, didn’t you?”

Yosuke didn’t really know what to say to this, feeling suspiciously like he was ‘meeting the family;’ Souji just smiled. “Of course. Karaage, renkon, tsukemono, tamagoyaki, with cookies and taiyaki for dessert. Oh, and miso and rice, of course.” 

Dojima shook his head, looking at Souji with a fond smile before ruffling his hair. “I’m sorry we’ve been so much trouble.”

“I’m just glad you’re home.” Souji returned the smile before starting to pull out plates; Yosuke cleared his throat. 

“Well, I should probably get going-”

Plates halfway down from the cupboard, Souji looked at him with surprise; Dojima looked between the two, and waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it, unless your parents are expecting you.”

“Yeah! Please stay, Yosuke-nii! Nanako looked up at him, and well, who could say no to Nanako? _Or Souji. Or that expression_. He still felt terrified of Dojima, _but, well… if I want to make this thing with Souji work, well… I think Dojima would be easier to handle than his parents_. The thought gave him pause, but he realized that, for now, there was no use thinking about it. 

“Thank you, sir. Of course I will, Nanako-chan."

* * *

Lunch was long and cheerful, with Nanako carrying the conversation and everyone talking, mostly about nothing, and once it was over, Yosuke helped Souji clean up. Nanako, who was yawning, was led off by her father to take a nap - doctor’s orders, he told them - and when he returned from her room, he handed Souji a few coins.

“Hey, I’m out of cigs. Will you head down to the corner store and grab me a pack? You know what I smoke.” 

Souji eyed the coins, and his uncle. “Should you really-”

Dojima gave a fond, if exasperated, sigh. “I appreciate the thought, but this is my first pack since I ended up in that place, so just let an old man have his comforts, okay?” 

Giving a slight nod, Souji grabbed his coat. “I’ll be back.” Halfway outside, he caught Yosuke’s eye, gave a small smile, and closed the door behind him. 

For a moment, there was silence as Dojima threw himself onto the couch. 

“Well, Hanamura, first off, I owe you an apology. You’re an idiot, and you never should have been mixed up in any of this, but I know Nanako is here because of you guys.”

Yosuke merely nodded, nervously sitting down at the kotatsu. _Okay_ , now _it’s ‘meet-the-family’ time_. “She’s like a little sister to all of us, there wasn’t a choice.”

Dojima looked at him, and nodded. The silence carried on just a moment too long for comfort; finally, he fixed Yosuke with a stern gaze. 

“And what are your intentions concerning my nephew?” He shook his head, rubbing his forehead. “Shit, I never expected to have to say this for another ten, fifteen years, until Nanako grows up.”

Yosuke went red at this. _Great_. “Um.” He knew better than to try to lie about it, and he didn’t really want to lie about Souji, anyway. “Well… I like him. A lot.”

“From what I’ve heard, you like a lot of people.”

“Not like Souji.” He bit his lip. “I broke it off with anybody else.”

Dojima raised an eyebrow, and after a moment, nodded. “You know about his family.”

“I do.” He couldn’t keep from grimacing, gripping his knees to keep from balling his fists; Dojima sighed. 

“Yeah, I feel the same way. But you also know that Souji’s going back at the end of the year.” He leaned forward. “Don’t you think this is going to make it harder on him?”

Souji leaving was the one thing Yosuke was trying desperately not to think about, and he nodded, miserably. “Yes, I know he’s leaving, and I’m sure as _hell_ going to try not to make it harder since I think Souji now is way better than Souji was when he got here, and I don’t want that to change.” His hands clenched without his noticing. “He knows what he wants, and he _smiles_ , and I- well.” Yosuke swallowed. “I’ll wait as long as I have to until he’s free.” The older man studied Yosuke's face, and the brunette tried to keep his chin up; if he couldn't face Dojima, how would he ever dare face Souji's parents?

Finally, Dojima nodded. “You know that if you hurt him there's going to be hell to pay, right?” His expression was light, but his tone was _not_. Yosuke just nodded.

“If I hurt him, I'll want to kick my _own_ ass, so yeah. I'll deserve that.”

Dojima sat back. “You're a good kid, Hanamura. I don't quite get it, but Souji's happy, and that's not something I expected to see, so thank you. Just...” A faint grimace. “Don't let me catch you guys doing anything stupid and for god's sake be careful around Nanako.”

Yosuke turned bright red at this, ducking his head; Dojima chuckled just as the front door opened.

“I'm home.” Walking into the living room, Souji raised an eyebrow when he saw the two of them; Yosuke recognized the flash of panic and smiled warmly to allay it; Souji gave a minute nod of relief as he handed the cigarettes to his uncle.

“Thanks. You kids go find something to do, I need to catch up on some paperwork while Nanako is asleep.” He lit a cigarette, heading for the porch as he waved them off; Souji looked at Yosuke, and they went upstairs.

* * *

“Everything okay?” Souji eyed Yosuke nervously as he closed the door.

“Yeah, yeah. We got it sorted out. He called me a dumbass, thanked me for saving Nanako.” Yosuke wanted to think about the rest of the conversation before mentioning it, so he just smiled, wrapping his arms around Souji's waist from behind. “I probably will need to head out soon, my folks might actually be around tonight and if they are they'll want to spend family time or something.” A sigh.

“I thought you liked it when your folks were actually around.” Souji gently wrapped his arms around Yosuke's.

“Yeah, but... I just don't want to leave. I know it sounds kinda stupid, but...”

“I understand.” Souji turned, smiling, and leaned in for a kiss. Yosuke did his best not to turn it into a session like the day before – especially as he was hyper-aware that Dojima was downstairs and Nanako was just a room away – but he couldn't help curling his fingers in Souji's shirt as he tugged him close.

Finally, he broke away to get some air, and smiled as he pushed his bangs out of his eyes. “I'll miss you, but I can text you now, right?”

“Yep.” Souji leaned against him. “As much as you want.”

“Plans tomorrow?”

Shaking his head, Souji raised an eyebrow. “Junes?”

“I gotta work in the afternoon, but we could always hang out at the food court beforehand.” He looked hopeful. “And if you stuck around, I might be able to spend my break with you.”

“I'll probably have to come back to cook for uncle and Nanako, but we'll see.” He looked hesitant. “If we hang out at the food court you know the others – at least some, and probably all – will show up, too.”

“And?” Yosuke raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to hide it?” He kept his face neutral. _If he does, I'll understand_ -

“No.” Souji was red, but he shook his head. “I guess, I mean... I want to be kind of careful since I don't want it to make it back to my folks – no, don't ask how I think they'd find out, I just...”

“It's fine.” Yosuke put a hand on his cheek and pulled him into a kiss that was as much for reassurance as it was for enjoyment. “I understand, I really do. There might be some catcalls from the group, but they're your friends as much as they are mine. They'll understand, partner.”

“Yeah.” Souji closed his eyes, resting his forehead against Yosuke's. “Okay. I guess you need to go?”

“In just a bit, yeah. After I do this.” Sliding his hands up the back of Souji's shirt he pulled him close and into a long, sweet kiss that said more than words ever could. Finally, he pulled back with a sigh. “I'll text you. I'll even try to use full words.”

“Gasp.” Souji chuckled, kissing his nose. “What did you do with my Yosuke?”

* * *

After seeing his boyfriend out, Souji walked back inside; Dojima was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee. “Want some?”

“Sure.” Souji sat down on the other side of the table, and after a few minutes, his uncle sat a mug of coffee with cream and no sugar in front of him. “Thanks.”

“Mhm.”

As Souji sipped the coffee, his uncle watched him. Finally, he raised an eyebrow. “I'm not going to have to give you the safe sex talk, am I?”

“ _Pffffffffffffffffffft_ -” Souji almost spit out his coffee, swallowing it instead – or, more accurately, inhaling it. Laughing, Dojima slapped his back.

“Sorry, sorry. I shouldn't have taken the opportunity. I do want you to promise me you'll be careful, though. Okay?”

“I don't- I don't know what-” Souji, bright red, tried not to cough again. “I don't know what you're talking about...”

Dojima just gave him a _look_. “Well, there's a Christmas cake box in the trash, Hanamura stayed over but you never moved the spare futon, and you've either got hickeys or a hell of a lot of mosquito bites hiding under that turtleneck.” Souji turned even brighter crimson, and his uncle smirked. “I _am_ a detective, you know.” His voice was mild. “You do whatever makes you happy, just be careful, and no I _won't_ tell your parents, so don't worry.”

Smiling sadly when Souji flashed him look of relief and gratitude, he waved his hand. “I meant it when I said I had some work to catch up on. Go watch some TV or something.”

“Thanks, uncle. Merry Christmas.” Souji hugged Dojima's shoulders, and Dojima just smiled – again, softly, and again, a bit sadly.

“Merry Christmas, Souji.”

* * *

> Uncle knows about us.

> Yea he gave me the 3rd degree. Again. At least this time he wasn't accusing me of murder, just threatening to murder me.

Souji blanched.

> Crap. I'm really sorry.

> Don't b, dude. I'm glad he's lookin out 4 u

> Well, you lasted a whole text before your words dissolved.

> ugh it's hard 2 type when I'm walkin

> Sorry, sorry. I'll let you go, text me later? <3

> no dude don't go, i'll txt back when i can so keep goin  
>  also <3 2 u 2

Yosuke's parents might have yelled at him a little bit about texting at dinner, and Souji almost forgot to cook his dinner, but it was as good a night as it could be, apart, and Souji fell asleep with his phone in his hand and a text on the screen.

> night partner, love u <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **karaage** \- fried in oil, frequently chicken, but often fish or tofu (or other foods)  
>  **renkon** \- lotus root  
>  **tsukemono** \- 'pickled things' - a dish of pickled vegetables  
>  **tamagoyaki** \- sweet rolled eggs  
>  **taiyaki** \- a pastry make of pancake-like dough stuffed with a filling (usually red bean paste, or 'anko') and baked; the traditional mold shape is a fish, but they are sometimes sold in other designs  
>  **miso** \- soy paste, red or white


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 25 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back~ I have no voice, but I'm back! More fluff. How do you guys feel about lots of non-plot-advancing vignettes like these? Is there such a thing as too many random makeout sessions?
> 
> Beginning to think that Dojima tells dad jokes.

> Leaving the house now, be there in 10. Miss you. 

Yosuke leaned back against the wall outside Junes, flipping his phone open and shut as he tried to wipe the grin off his face. He’d already been waiting thirty minutes - even though he’d been texting Souji all morning, and knew there was no way they’d miss each other - but it had been too hard to wait, too boring, he was too _antsy_ to sit around. 

He alternated his glances between the street he knew Souji would have to use and his phone, scrolling back through their morning’s messages. Apparently, just-woken-up Souji didn’t give a shit about proper spelling or grammar, but was also horrible at texting.

> Wher ar yu?

> at home dude, morning <3

> Ugh. Yu shud be heer.

> wish i was

> Bah. 

> dude r u 50 or smthg

> Shhhhhhhhhhhh. I love yu.

Those three words still made Yosuke feel ridiculously warm and happy. _And clingy Souji is kinda cute, too_. He flushed a little, grinning again. Just then, the grin threatened to split his face as he spied silver hair hurrying down the sidewalk, but before he could push himself away from the wall to go meet him, a different voice yelled his name.

“Heeeeey, Yosuke! Hi!” Chie bounced up, hands on her hips, and grinned. “What’s up, dude? Have a good Christmas?”

“Uh, yeah.” For the first time ever, Yosuke found himself wishing the ground would open up and swallow one of his friends, but he just forced a grin, praying it didn’t look too nervous.

He knew he’d failed when she raised an eyebrow, peering into his face. “Whoa, dude, what’s up? That’s a super-weird look.” Then, straightening up, she looked past Yosuke, her eyes widened just a bit, and she just _smirked_. 

“Ohhhhhhhh, I _see_. Hey, Souji-kun!”

Yosuke had to physically stop himself from whirling around as he turned slowly, smiling, trying not to grin like an idiot, suddenly it didn’t matter if Chie was there, and the look on Souji’s face was just as warm, and Chie got very quiet. 

This bothered Yosuke until he saw the smile on her face.

“Hello, Chie. Yosuke.” Souji stood next to him, their arms _just barely_ touching, and Yosuke’s fingers tingled and _we’ve got to start meeting at home before we go out, not being able to hold onto him is shit but oh god the way he says my name_.

Chie looked at them, tilted her head, and grinned. “You guys gonna hang out at the food court?

“Yeah.” Souji answered before Yosuke could. “Is anyone else coming?”

“Probably.” By the grin on her face, the brunette was pretty certain everybody would be there after she sent out a few texts, but as long as his boyfriend didn’t mind, he didn’t, either.

“Sounds good. I need to check out a few things for Nanako - she and my uncle are home, by the way - and then we can all meet up?” Souji smiled, doing his best to hide his shiver as Yosuke took advantage of the privacy afforded by the ornamental plants situated behind the two of them to crawl his hand up the silver-haired boy’s back.

“Whaaaaat? Nanako is home? Heck yeah! Yosuke, when do you get off work? We’ll all have to have a party for her!” Chie looked excited, and Yosuke looked sideways at Souji.

“I get the feeling we should probably give Dojima-san a heads up so that he knows what’s up and so that we won’t wear out Nanako-chan… Besides, you know they always make me work overtime after holidays.”

“That’s _right_.” Her face fell. “Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.” Souji smiled. “Uncle will be working from home so I’ll just let him know when and he’ll either stick around or head into the office, and it’ll give him a chance to say no. I’ll get everybody’s number later and let everybody know what’s up.” 

“Oh!” Looking surprised, but pleasantly so, Chie nodded. “Sounds good. We can plan what to cook!”

“ _Chie_ …” Yosuke’s voice dipped into a warning tone and Souji smirked as Chie flushed. 

“Hey! We’ve been practicing, you know! I- I’ll- we’ll-”

“How about a cake?” Souji smiled. “I don’t mind making dinner. Yosuke can help me, since he’s not too bad at cooking.” 

“Wha-? Dude” Yosuke spluttered, looking embarrassed; he crossed his arms, removing his hand from his boyfriend’s back and Souji tried not to look too bereft. Chie looked back and forth between the two of them, and smirked. 

“Sounds good. Well, I’m gonna go grab some takoyaki and ping the other girls so we can make plans. Don’t be tooooo long, you two!” Her grin told them that she’d figured everything out, and as she jogged to the elevator, Yosuke leaned over.

“I thought you wanted to be discreet!” he hissed. 

“Well…” Souji rubbed his neck. “Yeah? But we already said we’d tell them, and I kind of want them to know…” 

The expression on his face was a strange mix of shyness and something that took Yosuke a moment to identify; recognition dawned and he grinned even as Souji flushed.

“Waaait, you’re _jealous!_ ”

“A… little?” Souji sounded strangled, and Yosuke shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from pulling him into a kiss then and there. “I mean, you used to date, like… all of them?”

“Not Kanji. Or Naoto. Or Teddie.” A smirk as he poked Souji’s back. “You wanted to find some stuff for Nanako, right? Clothes? Toys? Food? Books?”

The change in topic made Souji’s head spin for a moment. “Uh. Toys, books?”

“Come on.” Yosuke grabbed Souji’s arm.

* * *

Souji found himself dragged in the direction of the kids’ department, but just before they got there Yosuke stepped to the side, behind a “Not An Exit” sign and a set of drapes, and Souji barely had time to see an employee-access stairwell sign before his back was against the door and Yosuke’s hands were on either side of his shoulders and all he could _see_ was Yosuke, amber eyes closing as he tilted his head to kiss Souji, hungrily, stifling his muffled noise of surprise. Souji’s eyes closed as he reached out, grabbing Yosuke’s hips to pull him close before sliding a hand up his neck to tangle in his boyfriend’s artfully-messy hair. 

The surprised noise gave way to satisfied ‘ _mmmm_ ’s, and finally - half dizzy and out of breath - Yosuke pulled back. “We’ve got to start out at your place, or my place, or something because the front door of Junes is not the right place to do these kinds of things.”

“Mmmf.” Souji opened his eyes, looking like a cat that had just found the catnip. Blinking, he tried to focus on Yosuke’s face, then smiled and touched his boyfriend’s lips. “Yeah, but then we’d never go anywhere.” 

With a frustrated ‘ngh’, Yosuke leaned over to kiss Souji’s neck. “What the hell, partner. You’re too much for me.” Souji tilted his head, wrapping an arm around Yosuke’s waist to hold on, and the brunette smirked, his breath ghosting across the nape of Souji’s neck. “It’s also cute when you get kind of jealous.” 

Souji just groaned, stifling his face in Yosuke’s shoulder to keep from drawing attention to their out-of-the-way alcove.

* * *

They were interrupted - eventually- by the buzzing of Yosuke’s phone. Irritated, he pulled it out and flipped it open, then sighed.

“It’s Chie. She wants to know if we’ve just decided to disappear for the rest of the day. What the hell, Chie! It’s only been, like-” He looked at the front of the phone, and flushed. “Whoops. Half an hour.”

Souji laughed, breathlessly. “And I really do want to get some things for Nanako…”

“All right, all right.” Yosuke leaned over, giving him a last kiss, for the moment. “Hold on. ‘Hey Chie… be our tiebreaker… Jack Frost plush or Risette doll?’” He mumbled the words as he typed. “Maybe she’ll just think we’re idiots who got into a thirty-minute fight about kids’ toys.”

“Unlikely.” Souji was trying his best to straighten up his shirt and hide any difficulties their make-out session had triggered. “You saw the way she was looking at us.”

“Oh well.” Yosuke put his phone into his pocket. “Come on. No matter what Chie says, I think a Jack Frost doll would be better.”

“Agreed.” Souji smiled, taking his hand for just a moment before they headed back into the main store.

* * *

When they finally headed out to the food court, Chie was holding court over a sizzling plate of steak - the rest of the team already there - and as they approached the table, everyone stopped talking, turning around to look and smile. As they walked up - Souji making an effort to hold the bag with the books and Jack Frost doll where it couldn’t be missed - Rise squealed.

“ _Sennnnpaiiiii~!_ You’ve got something to tell us, don’t you?” She smirked at them both, and Souji flushed, which made her giggle. 

“We left you seats,” Chie added helpfully, nodding to the space in the middle of the far bench, wide enough for two people, dead centre of the group.

Looking at each other, the boys nodded, sitting down, and as Chie - who could be surprisingly thoughtful - had picked a nice table in the back corner, they were out of the way enough that Yosuke felt comfortable enough putting his hand over Souji’s. This stopped the silver-haired boy from picking at splinters in the table and he looked up, smiling shyly, and Rise just squeaked again. Yosuke _looked_ at her, and she giggled.

“Well, it’s not like you guys haven’t all figured it out, but yeah. Souji and I are dating.” Yosuke looked around the table, worried, but was relieved to see happy grins on everyone’s faces - even Rise's - and out of the corner of his eye he could see Souji come to the same realisation.

“So, you mean like - _dating_ dating, not just ‘dinner here and there and maybe some cuddles and a movie?’" Chie grinned. 

“Yep.” Yosuke smiled, and both Chie and Yukiko giggled. 

“You look so proud, Yosuke.” Chie eyed Souji. “And Souji-kun seems to be pretty happy.”

“I am happy.” Souji smiled, trying to ignore the fact that his face was so hot he was pretty sure he could have cooked an egg on it. “But-”

“But? No buts!” Rise put her hands on the table. “I’m super jealous but I love you both and if you’re not happy then give Senpai _back!_ ” 

“Woah, Rise, chill!” Yosuke looked panicked, and everybody - except for Souji and Yosuke - laughed. 

“I _am_ happy,” Souji repeated, holding his head up. “I just wanted to ask you guys to… keep it quiet. _Not_ because I’m ashamed.” He shot a look at Rise, who was still challenging him with her eyes. “But, well… I haven’t told you guys about my parents, but…”

* * *

When he was finished, there was a heavy silence around the table, finally broken by Kanji.

“Dude. That’s fucked up.”

Souji just nodded as Yosuke squeezed his hand, hard, having already slid over to sit closer to his boyfriend. “Yeah, I never really realised it before- before this year… but yeah.”

Rise gave a heavy sigh. “ _Ugh_. It’s no fair, why do you have to go back?”

“We can’t all control our futures,” Naoto said, quietly, nodding to Souji. “But I think we should change the subject - after all, we were here to talk about Nanako-chan, and congratulate Souji-senpai and Yosuke-senpai. I think we all understand Souji-senpai’s request for privacy, and of course, you can count on us. All of us, including Teddie. Right, Teddie?”

Everyone turned to look at the bear, who gulped. “Of course! I won’t say a thing, I’m beary serious!” 

This was enough to break the tension, and everyone laughed, and the girls started to chatter about what kind of cake they wanted to make for Nanako as Souji squeezed Yosuke’s hand in return. Souji leaned over. 

“Thank you.”

Yosuke just smiled. “Any time, partner.”

“Come over after work?” 

“If you don’t think-”

“ _Please?_ ”

Yosuke smiled, but they were interrupted before he could respond.

“Hey, lovebirds, cut it out, yeesh!” Chie was grinning when they looked over, both bright red.

* * *

When they got to the house, Souji raised an eyebrow. “Uncle’s car isn’t here.” Unlocking the door, they went inside; Nanako came running over in socked feet to greet them.

“Big bro! Yosuke-nii!”

Souji picked her up for a hug, followed by Yosuke. “Where’s your father?”

“Dad got called into the office. He said to give him a call when you got home.”

Putting her down, Souji nodded. “You and Yosuke-nii hang out for a bit, okay? Did you eat dinner?”

“Yeah! I had leftovers, they were yummy. We’ve still got ginger-bunnies!”

As Nanako led Yosuke into the living room, Souji dialed his uncle. It took a few minutes and a re-route through the front desk after he went to voicemail, but finally, Dojima-san’s tired voice came onto the line.

“Hey, Souji. Sorry about not being home, I got called in.”

“Everything okay?” Souji couldn’t keep the worry out of his voice, and he could hear the answering smile in his uncle’s tone even though it still sounded tired.

“Yeah, yeah. They just needed me to fill out some paperwork about Adachi and all that crap has to go through like twelve different people, and get stamped and verified, and-” A sigh. “Nevermind, don’t worry about that. They’ve got me sitting down so I’m not straining anything, I just wanted to check in on you since Nanako’s gonna need to go to bed early. We’ll have to go back to the hospital for a bit after the new year and I don’t want her to overdo it between now and then.”

“Yeah, of course. Um.” Souji hesitated, and his uncle chuckled quietly.

“Go ahead and ask.”

“My friends want to have a welcome-back party for Nanako tomorrow. I said I’d cook, and there’ll be cake, and…”

“It’s fine. I’ll probably have to go into the office in the morning, but I can be back for an early dinner.”

“All right! I’ll let them know. Thank you!”

“Yeah, yeah. Listen. I know Hanamura’s there. I don’t need to remind you about our talk yesterday, do I?”

“Uncle!” Souji’s response was strangled. “I told you, we’re not-”

“That’s why I’m telling you _now_ , for when you _are_.” Dojima’s voice sounded amused, and Souji turned bright red. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Souji.”

“Good night, uncle. Get some rest.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **takoyaki** \- fried dough balls, with octopus


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 26 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

“Hand me the saibashi, will you?” Souji had just cracked some eggs into the okonomiyaki batter; Yosuke nodded, digging in the utensil drawer as Rise hung on Souji’s other arm, watching him cook. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to add wasabi?” She looked hopeful, and Souji gently detached her from his elbow. 

“ _No_ , Rise. Even if it was a good idea - and it’s not - Nanako hates wasabi.” They heard an ‘ _eeeeew_ ’ from the living room, and everyone chuckled. 

Yosuke, meanwhile, handed him the long cooking chopsticks; with a practiced hand, Souji started to beat the eggs into the mixture, and Yosuke sidled up to him, touching their feet together as he kept his eyes on Souji’s hands, loving to watch him cook.

Rise giggled. “Jeeze, senpai, you’re like a lovelorn puppy.” She grinned at Yosuke, who rolled his eyes at her, but smiled. Chie and Yukiko were at the table, decorating the cake - with Teddie’s help - and Kanji and Naoto were in the living room with Nanako, helping her with the quiz show. At least, Naoto was helping; Kanji was knitting. Rise seemed content to hang out with Souji and Yosuke; it was odd, how she’d taken to both of them. She didn’t seem to be trying to interfere in either direction, nor did she seem jealous; she just seemed to enjoy spending time with them, together. 

In the oven a curry doria and a chicken doria were baking, and there were covered dishes of kinpira, pickles, agedashi tofu, and onigiri on the counter. Miso soup simmered on the stove, and Souji turned his head. “Yukiko, would you get the two teapots out, the big and the little? Could you make green tea in the big one?”

“Of course, Souji-kun.” Yukiko smiled, leaving Chie and Teddie to put the finishing touches on the cake; she got both teapots down and started to rinse them with warm water as Souji carefully poured the okonomiyaki batter - now with cabbage, bacon, and green onions in it - onto the griddle. “Should I prep the second one, as well?”

“Make some hojicha, would you?” He smiled at Yosuke, who smiled back, and Chie made a gagging sound behind them. 

“ _Man_ , you spoil him, Souji.”

The two boys smirked at each other, Yosuke’s eyes promising a lot more once they were alone again, and Souji turned to Chie.

“If giving him things he enjoys counts as spoiling him, then I’ll gladly do it.” Chie made a fake gagging sound again, even though she was smiling, and Rise giggled.

“Oh, _man_ , Souji-senpai… are you sure you’re not more of a heartbreaker than Yosuke-senpai?”

“Hey now, that’s enough.” Yosuke poked Souji. “The okonomiyaki is gonna burn.”

Just as they were putting the last dishes onto the table, they heard Dojima’s car in the driveway; Nanako ran to meet him at the door as Souji and Yosuke, who were sitting next to each other, slid apart - just a bit - before Dojima could come inside. If their faces were red, nobody asked them why.

* * *

The party was a smashing success; they ate around the new kotatsu, everybody had presents for Nanako, Dojima even seemed to have a good time - looking surprised when Souji told him that Yosuke had made the chicken doria - and the cake was amazing, to everyone’s surprise (including the girls’.) They played card games and some party games picked out especially by Nanako, and it wasn’t until the clock - and Dojima - told them it was Nanako’s bedtime that they called an end to it. Souji had already divvied up the leftovers amongst the group, and as Dojima put Nanako to bed, the others slipped into shoes and jackets, and everyone said goodbye outside the house. Kanji left with Naoto, Chie with Yukiko, and somehow Yosuke managed to convince Teddie to head down to Shiroku to see if they had any topsicles with a promise that he’d catch up.

“I do owe him a couple of boxes, anyway.” Yosuke, zipped up in a thermal vest, stood snuggled up against Souji’s side. The thick grey jacket - _I really want to see him in blue or green_ \- Souji wore made it hard for them to really _cuddle_ , but it was okay. They’d had a good half hour before anyone else had arrived that morning, and while it never felt like _enough_ , they were both grateful for what they had. 

“Oh?” Souji raised an eyebrow as he pulled Yosuke into the little shed-like alcove next to the house. “What for?”

“Just bribes.” Yosuke really didn’t feel like bringing up November and all that had happened, not right now. Wrapping an arm around Souji’s waist, he leaned up for a kiss, and Souji obliged. Yosuke preferred bare fingers in his hair, but a gloved caress was better than nothing. Finally, they separated. “Busy tomorrow?”

“We should work on our homework.” Souji’s smile was gentle, but firm, and Yosuke sighed.

“ _Paaaartner_ …” 

“Don’t you want to go to the same college? Or at least in the same area?”

 _He just has to play that card, doesn’t he?_ “...your place, or mine?”

* * *

Four days later, Yosuke stood outside the shrine, hands buried in his pockets, wondering where everyone else was. It was New Year’s eve, and while he expected some of their crew to be late - Teddie had gone to the textile store to see where Kanji was - he didn’t expect _Souji_ to be late. He hoped everything was ok, but he’d at least received a short text - “ _running a bit behind, sorry_ ”. 

Kanji came barrelling out of the shop, Teddie at his heels, and shortly afterwards the girls came along; they’d gotten sidetracked, shopping. Yosuke was just about to _call_ Souji when he saw his boyfriend’s tell-tale silver hair weaving towards them through the minor crowd.

In retrospect, remembering the summer festival, Yosuke should have been prepared. He wasn’t, though, and he couldn’t stop his jaw from dropping when Souji hurried up, clad in a deep blue winter kimono, with a faint, silvery shochikubai pattern, and a grey and light blue sash. His arms were crossed, hands buried in his sleeves, and his cheeks were pink. “Sorry I’m late. Uncle and Nanako couldn’t come, but she wanted me to dress up.”

“You look great, Souji-senpai!” Rise had already made her move to hug his arm. “No wonder Yosuke-senpai is star-struck!” 

“Rise…” Yosuke sighed. He was about to say something else, but Chie looked at her watch.

“Come on, guys! We’ll miss out on the amazake if we don’t go in now!” Linking arms with Rise and Yukiko - for which Yosuke was _immensely_ grateful - she dragged the girls in, leaving the others to follow.

Yosuke fell into step beside Souji, keeping as close as he could without actually holding hands, although he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he wanted to. _Still, I understand why not_. It didn’t ruin his enjoyment of the time they spent together, just made him long for the time Souji no longer had to worry about his parents. 

“You look really good.” He kept his voice quiet, his cheeks pink to match Souji’s. “That really suits you. I kept wanting to see you in some colours other than white, black, and grey…” 

“Thanks, uh.” A shy smile. “I like colours, but mother and father usually pick out greys and blacks because they look ‘more refined’ with my hair and eyes.” He shrugged. “Some day.”

“Some day, I’ll pick some stuff out for you.” Yosuke grinned. “I’ve got good fashion sense!”

Souji eyed him, then laughed.

* * *

“Happy New Years!” They all toasted with their paper cups of amazake, sipping the warm drink; the crowds around them were bustling, and Souji took the chance to slide a hand through Yosuke’s arm and into his jacket pocket, although he only left it there long enough to squeeze Yosuke’s hand. 

It was Kanji that first noticed it was snowing; everyone gasped and cooed and Souji and Yosuke snuggled a _little_ closer together, and then the group split to make wishes and head home - it _was_ cold, and it _was_ late. Teddie had convinced Kanji to let him stay over at the textile shop, and eventually it was only Souji and Yosuke. 

“Happy New Year,” Souji murmured to Yosuke, standing as close as they could without drawing too much attention. 

“Same to you.” Yosuke looked around - they were standing under a tree, out of the way, near the shrine, and the crowds were starting to thin - before standing on his toes. His breath was warm, and smelled sweet, and Souji closed his eyes as they kissed, gently. 

“First kiss of the new year,” Yosuke whispered.

“Should I write you a poem about it?” Souji smiled, leaning his forehead against Yosuke’s.

“Make it a song.” Yosuke blushed a little, but before Souji could ask him why, he squeezed his hand. “It _is_ cold, we should probably make our wishes and head home. I’d love to stay here forever but I have this feeling that Dojima would come looking for you.”

“You’re probably right.” He squeezed Yosuke’s hand in return, and they both walked up to the offering box, throwing in their coins. Looking at one another, they rang the bell together with embarrassed smiles, then clapped their hands and made their New Years' wishes. 

Souji’s was short; he’d never really had _wishes_ before, and the ones he had now were so basic that it was enough to put them into words, even in his mind. _Keep Yosuke safe, let me stay with him_.

Yosuke’s took a little longer. _I want Souji to be happy. I want to be with him but I don’t want him to have to deal with his parents again - I’m not wanting them to get hurt or anything! I just want them to stop hurting him_ … He took a deep breath before he could get overemotional. _Sorry, babbling. Keep Souji happy, let me always make him happy_.

When he looked up, Souji was watching him with a soft, happy look, and his heart melted - as it usually did any time Souji smiled. Walking to the side, Yosuke snuck another kiss. “You look like moonlight. Like a perfect midnight sky.”

His boyfriend flushed at this. “That’s- really sappy.”

“Yeah, but it’s true. You don’t mind that I’m sappy, do you?”

“Not really.” 

They both smiled, then laughed, leaning against each other. “See you tomorrow?” Souji looked hopeful.

“Mhm. Have to do New Year’s visits.” 

“Yeah, same. Will probably spend most of the day with Nanako and uncle, but we’ll make some time.”

“Obviously. You’re my first boyfriend of the year, after all.”

“First?” Souji raised an eyebrow. “What’s my time limit?”

“Hmmm.” Yosuke pretended to think. “Forever?”

“I can handle that.” Souji’s voice had dropped into a whisper, and as they were alone at the shrine by this point, still off to one side, he put both hands on Yosuke’s cheeks and pulled him in for a last warm, sweet kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **saibashi** \- long cooking chopsticks  
>  **wasabi** \- japanese horseradish, made into a condiment paste  
>  **kinpira** \- kinpira gobo, a sauteed/simmered dish consisting of root vegetables, usually burdock root, sometimes lotus, carrots, etc.  
>  **agedashi tofu** \- tofu breaded in potato starch and fried, served with a dashi (fish) broth  
>  **onigiri** \- rice balls, usually formed into triangles with fillings pressed into the back, seaweed wrapped around them, and/or furikake (seasoning that often consists of salt, fish flakes, sesame seeds, flaked seaweed, and other items)  
>  **miso** \- soy paste, red or white  
>  **okonomiyaki** \- fillings, such as cabbage, pork, shrimp, etc mixed into a batter and fried into a pancake-like food (Osaka-style). Other styles involve mounds of ingredients wrapped in a crepe-like pancake. (Osaka-style is the best.)  
>  **hojicha** \- roasted green tea  
>  **doria** \- a casserole-like dish with rice, some sort of sauce/topping, and cheese, baked  
>  **shochikubai** \- the traditional pine/plum/bamboo pattern seen, often on winter outfits; all three together are meant to bring good luck and happiness - an ideal New Years pattern  
>  **amazake** \- hot sweet sake, either alcoholic or non-alcoholic


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 27 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I wanted to say a super-special thank you to everybody who's been reading, who's stuck around, who's given kudos, who's commented, whether once or more than once. I really appreciate it, and it helps to know that other people are loving these two dorks like I do. I may not get a chance to say thank you to all of you directly, but I am grateful to every one of you.

> Spending the morning with Nanako. We’re going to make a snowman.

Yosuke smiled at this mental picture; he and Souji had both woken up a little late - though not late enough for their respective families to comment - and were texting as they got ready for the day. 

> perf she’ll luv that ◝₍⁽⁺⁰꒳⁰⁾₎◜✧

> tell u wat

> i’ll hit up folks u dont no this mrning

> we can do lunch n then hit up the folks we both no

> mb make plans

> folks r gonna b out f town

> we shd go sking

> snuggle up n the snow n mb a fireplace (/^.^(^.^*)>

Yosuke always texted faster than he did, but it didn’t bother Souji, who smiled enough that his uncle asked if his toast was really that amusing.

> Sounds good. Nanako wants to see you. I haven’t skied in years but I think I still can.

> Wrap up warm, see you soon. Love you.

He put his phone down to finish breakfast, but as he was slipping it into his pocket before helping bundle Nanako up, the screen lit up again.

> luv u 2 partner

* * *

Souji was just putting the finishing touches on “Snow Teddie” - Nanako hadn’t wanted a _traditional_ snowman, she wanted one that looked like Teddie’s Junes mascot outfit - when the little girl looked up, waving.

“Yosuke-nii! Hi! Happy New Year!” She ran around the snowman, careful not to step into any deeper drifts, as Dojima had cautioned her, and hugged Yosuke almost as tightly as she’d normally hug Souji; the shorter boy looked both surprised and happy, and Souji couldn’t help smiling. _Wish I’d had my camera out, that would have been a perfect picture_.

Dojima snorted, but smiled as well, and it was a much more gentle smile than he’d ever given Yosuke back before Souji had gotten involved. “Afternoon, Hanamura. Making your New Years greetings?”

“Yes sir, Happy New Year, sir. Souji and I were going to go out and say hello to our friends.”

A nod. “Yeah, he still needs to make his greetings. It’s cold, though, so come in and get some lunch and tea first.”

Yosuke looked a bit surprised, but smiled and followed Souji inside. “Thanks.”

* * *

The Dojimas had already had their New Year meal - as had Yosuke - so lunch was just omelettes and rice. Once they were done, Dojima put a sleepy Nanako - who’d worn herself out playing in the snow - down for a nap, and the boys bundled up to head back out. 

Walking along the Samegawa, heading for Yukiko’s family’s inn, Yosuke shook his head. “I dunno, dude. I am super grateful your uncle doesn’t hate me any more, but it’s kinda weird.”

“I don’t think he ever hated you, Yosuke.” Souji’s voice was soft, and he took chance, as no one was around, to wrap an arm around Yosuke’s waist and pull him in to kiss his forehead. “And you saved Nanako’s life, which pretty much absolves you of everything.” A frown. “You sure you’re warm enough? You don’t have a scarf or anything.”

The brunette waved a hand, dismissively. “‘m fine, partner. This isn’t my first winter, or my first snow.” A smile as he squeezed Souji’s hand. “Thanks for worrying about me, though.” 

“Of course.” 

They made the rest of the walk to Yukiko’s - and subsequently Chie’s - in companionable silence. They passed a little time with each of their friends, and on the way to the shopping district to see Rise and Kanji (and, it turned out, Naoto, as she was visiting Kanji) they talked about the rest of the holiday.

“So. Skiing.” Yosuke grinned. “Folks are going down to visit some of Dad’s side of the family, but I told them that we already had plans to go skiing, and that I needed to make a bunch of winter memories with you. Dad griped a bit, but Mom told him not to be one of _those_ dads, and they agreed to let me stay alone! I’ve got the week off from Junes, though, so it’s _perfect!_ ”

Souji smiled in response. “I’ll _also_ have the house to myself - uncle and Nanako have to go back to the doctor for two or three weeks; they want to run tests to make sure they’re both okay, and uncle needs some PT.” 

“Dude.” Yosuke grinned, but then they both flushed, and after a few, Yosuke gently squeezed Souji’s hand. “Will be kind of nice to get warm in front of a fireplace after a long day on the slopes.”

“Mhm. With cocoa.” Souji smiled, though his cheeks were still pink. “Do you ski?”

“Nope, snowboard. Wait- what?” He frowned when Souji’s face fell. “Hey. It’s okay, you know? We can still go down the slopes together, and maybe I can show you how to snowboard?”

Looking a bit uncertain, Souji nodded. “I’ll try, yeah.”

* * *

The next morning, Souji saw Dojima and Nanako off for the hospital with a smile and a special hug for Nanako. _Knowing they’re okay makes all the difference_. 

He’d just finished tidying up the living room when the doorbell rang; it was Yosuke and Teddie, the latter of whom bounced in cheerfully. “Aw, I missed Nana-chan!” 

“She’ll be back.” Souji smiled. “Tea?”

“Thank you, Sou-kun!” Teddie was already sitting at the kotatsu in Nanako’s spot; Yosuke gave Souji a wry smile and took his own seat as the silver-haired boy went into the kitchen to make hojicha. 

Teddie immediately started going on about the skiing trip - asking if the snow would make it easier for him to score - and Souji did his best to calm him down and answer his questions; it wasn’t until about halfway through that he realized that Yosuke was being _really_ quiet. When he shot his boyfriend a look, Yosuke just gave him a tired smile; after a moment, Souji turned to Teddie.

“What are you up to for the rest of the day?”

Teddie's face lit up. “Kanji-kun is gonna teach me how to sew bunnies! Girls love bunnies! I know, ‘cos Nana-chan said so!” Suddenly, he looked panicked. “Oh no, Sensei, I’m gonna be late!” 

“Better hurry then.” Yosuke’s voice was rough, and Souji was already moving to his feet.

“That’s right, Teddie. Hey, would you see if Kanji minds you staying over tonight? Yosuke and I need to work on some homework and I don’t know how late he’s going to be.”

Looking curiously at them, Teddie - perhaps sensing Yosuke’s glare - decided not to say anything about ‘scoring’ and instead just nodded. “Sure thing, Sou-kun! I’ll text you! Bye Sensei, study hard!” 

Souji gave him a topsicle for the road and, shutting the door behind the blonde boy, grabbed the medicine kit, hurrying into the living room. Dropping to his knees next to Yosuke - who merely looked up at him with bleary, red-rimmed eyes - he put a hand to his boyfriend’s forehead. It was burning up.

“Yosuke-” His voice hitched, worriedly, and Yosuke shivered.

“Don’t feel too good, partner…” His words slurred, and he closed his eyes, slumping against Souji. 

_He must have caught cold running around yesterday… I_ told _him to get a scarf!_ Souji frowned, gently shaking Yosuke’s shoulder, to no avail.

“All right, we do this the hard way.” Looping his boyfriend’s arm around his shoulders, he managed to pull him up to his feet, walking him slowly and patiently upstairs, to his room. It would have been easier if he could have just carried him, but Souji wasn’t half as strong as Kanji, and Yosuke was no Nanako.

After maneuvering Yosuke onto his own futon - _I’ll take the spare_ \- he ran back downstairs for the medicine kit, Yosuke’s tea, and a pitcher of water. Spending so much time alone had not only taught Souji to cook, but also to take care of himself when he was sick; after taking Yosuke’s temperature, he was relatively certain it was just a cold. _Not that a cold doesn’t need to be tended to_. 

Within the hour he had Yosuke wrapped in an extra sweater, tucked into his futon; he’d given him some cold medicine, forced him awake long enough to drink some water, and the light was dim now to make it easier for the brunette to sleep. With a sigh, Souji went downstairs to cook some soup.

* * *

He managed to wake Yosuke long enough to get some food into him - not much, but enough - and the rest of the time, Yosuke slept while Souji lay on the spare futon nearby, close enough that he could be ready with medicine, tea, water, or food any time Yosuke needed it. Sometimes, when Yosuke was sleeping quietly, Souji would read or study; other times he would sit next to his boyfriend, cool rag in hand, wiping his forehead or holding his hand as he tossed and turned, mumbling about whatever he was dreaming about at that moment. 

For the first time, Souji _understood_ just how much the whole TV world fiasco had affected Yosuke, no matter how much he’d tried to hide it from the others. Even though it was over, Yosuke was still holding some of it inside, which came out in dreams; he wasn’t always coherent when talking in his sleep, but it was easy enough to tell when the dreams were standard, and when they were _bad_. Souji heard his own name a time or two in the bad ones, as well as Nanako’s, and all he could do was hold Yosuke’s hand and stroke his forehead with cool fingers. 

Then, there were the dreams that made Souji blush. Yosuke, again, wasn’t terribly coherent, so they weren’t windows into his mind (for which Souji realized he should probably be grateful) but his boyfriend would say things, things about him, things that hinted at just how strongly he felt about Souji - things that Souji, by rights, should be the one saying, since _he_ was the lucky one in the relationship. During these dreams, Yosuke would hold his hand, sometimes beg to be kissed. Souji found himself wishing that Yosuke would get better, because all he wanted to do was hold him. 

He texted the others, letting them know what was up; they all stopped by on occasion, and one afternoon, Naoto brought some stronger medicine from the hospital after they all visited Nanako to give her ‘big bro and Yosuke-nii’s love’. The easiest thing for them all to agree on was that they were going to cancel - or at least postpone - the skiing trip; there was no use going without Yosuke, no one wanted to. 

Days turned to nights, and Souji did what he could to keep Yosuke comfortable, fed, and hydrated; at night he pulled the spare futon up next to Yosuke’s so he could hold his hand, sleeping lightly enough to wake any time Yosuke needed him, or even just said his name.

* * *

On the fourth day, Yosuke woke up of his own accord, finding himself in Souji’s futon with Souji passed out on the spare futon next to him, looking peaked and worn out. The brunette felt a lot better, having just vaguely been aware of feeling like shit, and the texts on his phone from the group chat were enough to give him an idea of what had been going on. He also realized they’d cancelled the skiing trip, and his stomach sank. _Sorry, Souji… all you’ve been doing these last few weeks is taking care of_ somebody, _either me, or your uncle, or Nanako-chan_ …

Resisting the urge to kiss Souji, instead wanting to let him sleep, he shuffled off to the bathroom to get a shower; Souji, in his infinite foresight, had left a clean set of sleep clothes next to Yosuke’s futon, and after a shower and a chance to brush his teeth, Yosuke felt better still. 

Peeking to make sure Souji was still asleep, Yosuke slowly made his way downstairs. He was still feeling a bit shaky, but knew that some food and tea would help; there was still food leftover from lunch, and after making himself a cup of tea, he poured one for Souji and carried it back upstairs. His boyfriend stirred as he set the cup on the table nearby, and Yosuke took a seat on the edge of the spare futon. 

“Hey there.” 

Souji’s eyes flew open, and the look of relief on his face was almost enough to make Yosuke smile. “Sorry, partner. I wouldn’t have come over if I’d known I was that sick-”

“Are you kidding?” Souji drained half of his tea before sitting up to slide an arm around Yosuke’s waist. “You’d’ve been home alone and Teddie would have tried to take care of you. No offense, but I’m pretty sure that might have been dangerous. He would have tucked you in under the kotatsu or something.”

They laughed, and Yosuke leaned his forehead against Souji’s. “Still, I’m sorry. I know you guys had to cancel the ski trip because of me.”

“So? None of us would have had any fun without you.” Souji slid his arms around Yosuke’s neck, their foreheads still touching. “I wouldn’t have gone - as if you think I’d leave you home alone, sick.” 

A chuckle as Yosuke gently kissed him. “You’re the best boyfriend ever, you know that?”

“Am not.” Souji flushed. “I just missed you. And I’m going to buy you a scarf.”

Yosuke laughed. “That’s the closest you’ve ever gotten to saying ‘I told you so.’ I’ll wear it with thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **hojicha** \- roasted green tea


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 28 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra warning for innuendo in this chapter.

Souji got a shower, and together they put the futons and sheets into the wash; Yosuke sent out a group text to say thank you to everyone, and by dinner, the whole group had assembled. 

“ _Sennnnnpaiii_ ~” Rise looked upset. “You were out for almost a whole week! You had us scared!”

“Sorry, guys.” Yosuke rubbed his neck. “I know you all had to cancel the trip because of me…”

“Dude, don’t worry about it. We’re just lucky Souji-senpai was here to take care of you.” Kanji nodded to Souji, who flushed. 

“Unfortunately, class starts again in what, three days?” Naoto looked at her watch. “While I assume we could still get out to the lodge, the chances of there being space for all of us is slim.”

“We’re swamped at the inn. We just got a huge party yesterday.” Yukiko frowned. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Yosuke waved his hands. “There’s another couple of holidays before the snow goes, you know? We’ll make it then.”

“Sounds good.” Naoto nodded, and Souji moved into the kitchen.

“It’ll just be soup, but-”

“ _Ohhh_ no ya don’t!” Chie was there ahead of him, trotting out two large carry-out bags. “Kanji, get those other two.” She grinned at Souji. “You’ve been wearing yourself thin taking care of Yosuke, there’s no way we were going to make you take care of us, too! We all got Aiyas, and I grabbed that mapo tofu you like so much.”

Souji’s eyes lit up. “I haven’t had that in months.”

* * *

They all hung out for another hour or two, the atmosphere much lighter now that they all knew that Yosuke was okay; Yukiko had to excuse herself first, given the workload at the inn. The others followed suit shortly, with Kanji taking Teddie to spend the night again.

“Ma likes him,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Said he makes the place feel lively.” 

Yosuke felt a bit weird, standing at Souji’s side while they bid everybody else goodnight; not a _bad_ weird, but he couldn’t stop his mind from wandering. _Guess this is what it would be - will be? - like if - when? - we move in together_. The thought warmed his face. 

Souji tidied up the kitchen while Yosuke checked on the laundry; the sheets and his clothes were clean, as was Souji’s futon, but the spare was just going in. He was folding his shirt when Souji came up behind him.

“It won’t bother you to share a futon again, will it?” His voice was hesitant. “I know you aren’t feeling great…”

“Are you kidding?” He leaned back against Souji’s chest. “I feel a lot better, and even if I didn’t, of _course_ I’d want to sleep with you. I’m just worried I’ll make you sick.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Souji kissed his forehead. “I took some medicine, and I’ve been drinking those lemon vitamin C drinks Naoto recommends so highly.”

“Mmm. Okay. Well, how about tomorrow I bring over my guitar? I’ve still got the rest of the week off. You said you wanted to learn, right? I can start teaching you.” 

“Sounds good.” Souji smiled, taking the futon. “For now, though, we should get to bed.”

* * *

“-no… no _don’t_ … stop… _don’t!_ ”

Yosuke was jerked awake in the middle of the night by Souji’s terrified voice; the silver-haired boy was just mumbling, but it was clear he was dreaming, and it was clearly not a _good_ dream. His forehead was beaded with sweat, and as Yosuke tried to turn - his boyfriend's arms were still wrapped around him - Souji jerked back with a cry, shrinking away into the edge of the futon. 

“Souji!” Yosuke leaned over, taking one of Souji’s hands, which was ice-cold. “Souji, partner, I’m here.” He rubbed the hand between his own, trying to warm it, and slowly, Souji opened his eyes. A few tears rolled down his cheeks, and he blinked, trying to make sense of what was going on - his normal slowness to wake up was not helping at the moment.

Yosuke scooted over, sliding an arm around Souji’s shoulders to pull him closer. “It was a nightmare, partner. You’re okay, I’m here.”

With a shuddering breath, Souji wrapped his arms around Yosuke, burying his face in his boyfriend’s shoulder. Silent for a few moments, he eventually gave several heaving sobs, although he didn’t start to cry; finally, he pulled back. 

“Sorry.” His voice was muffled. “I know you should be resting.”

Putting a hand under Souji’s chin, Yosuke caught his eyes. “It’s _fine_. _I’m_ fine. I don’t even feel tired, to be honest. Don’t ever apologize about something like this, okay, partner? I’m here for you. Do you want to talk about it?”

Exhaling slowly, Souji shrugged. “I was back… in Tokyo.” It was clear he’d started to say ‘home’, but had changed his mind. “My parents knew about everything that had happened here, were… not happy about it.” 

Yosuke winced. “Dude… I’m sorry…”

Gently twining his fingers with Yosuke’s, Souji shook his head. “Don’t be. I’ve made my choices. I’m done running. Things won’t be easy for a few years, and I’ll have to keep my head down, but it’s worth it. Worth it to be who I want to be. Worth it to be with _you_.” 

Shifting the covers, Yosuke laid back down, wrapping his arms around Souji again. “I- every time you say that sort of thing, I realize just how _lucky_ I am…”

“You?” Souji raised an eyebrow as he shifted closer, pressing his side against Yosuke’s as he laid his head on the brunette’s shoulder. “ _I’m_ the lucky one. I’d still be trapped if you hadn’t come along.” 

“Well, we can be lucky together.” Smiling in the dim light shining between the window blinds, Yosuke leaned over to kiss Souji. The response was immediate; Yosuke could taste salt from Souji’s tears, but his boyfriend’s lips were soft and pliant, and the kiss deepened as Yosuke ran a hand down Souji’s cheek and around to the back of his neck, stroking it gently.

Souji’s sigh ghosted across Yosuke’s earlobe and it made him shiver; tightening his arm around Souji’s waist, he moved his lips down Souji’s jaw and along to _his_ earlobe, placing soft kisses along and behind it, enough to make Souji _whimper_ , and the sound was almost too much. Catching his breath, he shuddered and pulled back - until Souji caught his arm. 

“Don’t go,” he whispered. 

“ _Partner_.” Yosuke’s voice broke. “I need- sorry, I need some room-”

Laying a hand that was only barely trembling onto Yosuke’s shoulder, Souji leaned up, putting his lips to the brunette’s ear. “I want you,” he whispered, unable to find a louder voice, not to say _those_ words. “I want to be yours.”

Yosuke’s eyes widened at this, his expression surprised - bordering on shocked - as he searched Souji’s face. “Are you sure? I told you I’d wait-”

“I’m _certain_.” Souji’s voice had found itself again, and was surprisingly firm. “I _want_ you.” Reaching up, he ran the backs of his fingers along Yosuke’s jaw.

With just a second’s pause - and shudder - Yosuke _moved_ , and suddenly, Souji was pinned beneath him, and he buried his face in Souji’s neck, sucking on the hollow of his throat, licking his pulse point. His boyfriend _moaned_ at this, and the sound made Yosuke’s knees buckle; grinding down against the knee between his legs, he put his lips to Souji’s ear. 

“I love you _so much_ …”

* * *

The next morning came earlier than they’d expected, but with no one else home, no school, no job, no one waiting, they ignored the sunlight as it tried to coax them from their futon. Yosuke pulled the covers up over their heads, Souji groaned and buried his face against the brunette’s chest, and they went back to sleep for another few hours.

When they finally did wake up, there were a handful of missed messages from the others - but that was to be expected, and frankly, they weren’t in the mood to share the morning with anybody except each other. As they poked their heads out above the futon, Yosuke laughed at Souji’s bedhead, and Souji just pointed at the mirror for Yosuke to look at his own.

“Morning.” Leaning over to kiss Souji, Yosuke let his lips trail across Souji’s cheek. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore.” Souji was pink, but smiling. “Happy. You?”

“Happy.” A chuckle as he rolled over onto his side, head resting on his hand, elbow crooked to hold it up. “That was my first time, too, you know.” He reached out to brush a strand of silver hair out of Souji’s face, and smiled as the grey eyes widened.

“Not even-”

Yosuke shook his head. “Glad I waited.” A smile as he leaned over to kiss the corner of Souji’s mouth. “I’m going to go make soup and coffee. You should just relax.”

Watching the brunette slip back into his shirt before heading downstairs, Souji slowly sat up, reaching for his own shirt. Pulling it over his head, he crossed his arms behind his head, leaning back. 

_Three more months._ The thought made him ache. _There’s got to be… something. I don’t know what, but I can’t_ \- He was starting to realize that no matter how much he wanted to hide things from his parents, he was _alive_ again, and that wasn’t something he _could_ hide. _It’s not just Yosuke. It’s Nanako… my friends… uncle_ … The thought sobered him, but before long, he found a faint smile of _hope_ playing over his lips. 

“Yen for your thoughts?” Yosuke grinned at him as he carried in a tray with coffee, miso, and some toast. 

“Just thinking about the future.” Souji smiled to keep Yosuke from worrying. “Not the bad kind, don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?” Yosuke looked at him, eyebrow raised, and Souji nodded with an exasperated chuckle.

“Promise.” Scooting up to the table, he leaned over to peck Yosuke’s cheek. “Now, let’s eat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, obv I wrote this as it is to keep from having to re-rate the story, and to be honest, I kind of feel awkward going into any more depth while the boys are still underage. However, if I _do_ extend this story out to their (of legal age) future, there might be some more scenes that get fleshed out in one-shots...
> 
>  **mapo tofu** \- a chinese dish made of tofu and pork (or just tofu) in a bean and chili sauce; very spicy (and red)


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 29 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna drown in fluff and nobody will find me.

“Nah, man, you gotta get your pinky one string over, like this.” Yosuke leaned his arms around Souji, wrapping his hand over the taller boy’s to fix his fingering. His brow furrowed, Souji copied him, and the next chord he strummed sounded a lot better; neither he nor Yosuke cringed. 

“See? Dude, I was gathering cats on the fence for like, the first two weeks I was learning to play. You’re already getting the hang of it.” A grin as Yosuke leaned back against the kotatsu, admiring the view of Souji sitting with an acoustic guitar in his lap, in the dead centre of a sunbeam. 

His boyfriend smiled at him. “You also didn’t have as good a teacher as I do.” There was a warm expression in his eyes that made Yosuke’s stomach flip-flop, and he covered his fluster by grabbing his mug of tea. 

_Holy shit this has got to be the cheesiest relationship in existence, like… if it was an anime there would be hearts everywhere and somehow I love it??_ He shook his head, watching Souji focus on the guitar, struggling to figure out the next chord in a song they’d been practicing. _I mean, nothing about anything in the past year has been normal and it’s not really a surprise that once Souji found people who cared about him he’d soak it up and I will love him as much as he needs so I_ get _it it’s just_ … He shook his head, and Souji looked up, the smile on his face faltering into a concerned frown. 

“Yosuke? Something wrong?”

The brunette felt his heart clench as he smiled, trying not to grin too much. “Nope, not at all. In fact, I don’t think it could be better.” _Unless you were staying_ , he could have added, but didn’t, not wanting to cast any shadows on what had been an amazing day already. _He’ll be back_.

Lazily scooting up behind Souji, he put his chin onto the silver-haired boy’s shoulder. It was mid-afternoon - they’d spent the morning fooling around, then Yosuke had run home to get his guitars while Souji made lunch - and they really had no plans beyond hanging out, dinner, deciding whose house to sleep at because, well… _let’s be real. I doubt once Dojima-san and mom and dad come back there’ll be that many more chances for sleepovers, what with Nanako here and Teddie at home_.

Souji’s strumming, meanwhile, slowed, and he pulled his hand back, frowning at it. “This really hurts.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. The strings are just a lot bigger than your violin strings… bass strings are bigger, but you only played that for a few days, and it was a pretty easy song. Let’s call it for today, don’t need you wrecking your fingers, and you’ll get callouses eventually.” Yosuke took the guitar, reaching over to put it back into its case, and Souji caught his free hand. 

“So, these are guitar callouses, right?” He ran his thumb across the hard skin on the tips of Yosuke’s fingertips as the brunette swallowed, nodding. “And these are… from your kunai?” He shifted his hold, running his thumb along the callouses along the upper edge of Yosuke’s palm and along the lower pads of his fingers. 

“ _Partner_ …” Yosuke had _thought_ that they’d worn themselves out that morning. 

He was wrong. 

Grabbing Souji’s hand as it caressed his callouses, he pulled it to his lips, kissing softly across the inflamed fingertips before leaning forward to kiss Souji; his boyfriend merely smiled, closing his eyes as he slipped an arm down to pull Yosuke closer. 

There was something about sitting together under the kotatsu, in a sunbeam, kissing, that was pretty amazing, and Souji couldn’t keep himself from humming happily. 

_He’s like a freaking cat_. The thought came and went as Yosuke wrapped his arms around Souji’s waist.

* * *

Later that evening, after dinner, Souji lay with his head in Yosuke’s lap as Yosuke ran his fingers through the soft silver locks. “So, for real. Do you bleach your hair or something, or is this natural?”

“Mmmm?” Souji shifted, cracking one eye open as he looked up at Yosuke. “Do you really think my parents would have allowed me to bleach my hair? I had a virus when I was very young, and this was one result. It doesn’t look too weird, does it?” An anxious expression flitted across his face, and Yosuke snorted, leaning over to kiss him. 

“Of course not, dork.” A pause as he wrapped a strand around a finger, then stroked Souji’s bangs off his forehead. “One result?”

This time, Souji pointed at his eyes. “I think they used to be brown. It’s why I have to wear contacts now, too.”

Looking surprised, Yosuke tried to imagine Souji with brown eyes - or for that matter, brown or black hair - but failed. “Meh. You look great.” At his boyfriend’s flush, he chuckled. “Didn’t know you wore contacts, though.”

“Yeah, they’re the extended-wear kind. I used to wear glasses, but always felt kind of awkward about it, and-” A pause as he leaned up off Yosuke’s lap, half-turning to look at the brunette. “You’re flushing.” A slow smirk. “You like my TV world glasses?”

“Yeah.” _What’s the point in hiding it?_ “They don’t cause problems together?”

Souji shook his head. “Nope, I tried to talk to Teddie about it, he said it was probably the lenses, and then tried to go into some sort of ‘anti-fog’ discourse and I lost him.”

“Yeah, I don’t listen, usually. Um. Do you have regular glasses?”

“Yeah.” A quiet chuckle. “I’ll bring them out later.” As Yosuke buried his face in Souji’s shoulder, the silver-haired boy just laughed. “Don’t worry. I thought you were pretty hot in yours, too.” 

His boyfriend chuckled, face still hidden, before sitting back. “While we’re on the subject…” Yosuke picked at the edge of Souji’s shirt, not looking up.

“Hmmm?”

“Your shadow was a fucking asshole, dude, but that suit…” There was a long pause, and when Yosuke - terrified that he’d said something wrong - looked up, he was surprised to see the pensive look on Souji’s face. “Dude, are you okay I’m sorry if it was creepy, I just-”

“I’m just trying to remember what’s in my closet in Tokyo.” Souji blushed. “I think I could find something like that if I don’t already have it…”

“Holy shit, dude.” Yosuke buried his face again. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“I’m pretty sure I should be asking myself the same question,” Souji murmured, kissing the top of Yosuke’s head. “But while we’re, uh… on the subject.”

“Oh?” Yosuke finally sat back again, smirking, although his face was still red.

“That- uh, that black shirt you wore at Christmas, uh. I think it’d look really good with those red pants you wear sometimes, and…” 

Souji was blushing and it was absolutely _adorable_ and Yosuke couldn’t get enough of it. 

“You got it, partner. Although, I’m thinking we should stay here tonight, so maybe we should head over to my place tomorrow? My folks don’t get back until the day after, and we can let Teddie stay with Kanji until, I dunno, dinner?”

With a strangled groan, Souji captured Yosuke’s lips with his own, pushing him back against the kotatsu, arms pinning him on either side, and Yosuke smirked, sliding a hand into his boyfriend’s silver hair. _Pretty sure we’re going to need to_ seriously _clean this place up before Dojima-san and Nanako come back but hey, we’ve got a couple of weeks_ …

* * *

“Wow, the lovebirds _finally_ decided to come out for air and sunlight!” 

Chie giggled as they all sat around at Junes the next afternoon, and Yosuke rolled his eyes at her, although their morning detour to Yosuke’s house to make good on his clothing-related promise from the night before took a lot of the sting out of his reaction. 

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. We don’t _have_ to take you guys the next time we go visit Nanako-chan, you know?”

“Chie, have you finished your homework?” Souji’s patient voice cut through the bickering, and Chie flushed, looking guilty.

“Uhhhhh, sorry, where were we?” She scooted closer to Yukiko to look over her shoulder, and Yosuke - who’d already finished, thanks to Souji’s earlier help (and insistence) sat back, looking smug. This gave him the chance to watch Souji, who was leaning over to explain a math concept to to Rise. He was helping her, Chie, and Yukiko; Naoto was off to one side, helping Kanji, as she didn’t need Souji’s help and Kanji needed more help than Rise did. 

“Oooooooo, sensei has heart eyes for Sou-kun!” Teddie flopped down onto the bench next to Yosuke, who shoved him, looking flustered, while everyone laughed. Including Souji, although he also looked happy, if embarrassed. _The traitor_.

“Shut it, bear, or we won’t watch movies tonight.”

“Nooooo, no fair, sensei!” Teddie clung to Yosuke’s arm, and the brunette just sighed.

“Dude, calm down, okay?”

* * *

“Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”

Yosuke looked at the blonde boy, passed out between himself and Souji, head on Yosuke’s shoulder and legs across Souji’s lap. “Man, he knows how to take up all the room, doesn’t he?”

“Mmm.” Souji smiled, although he eyed Yosuke afterwards with a less-than-happy glance. “I can’t put my arm around you.”

“...are you _pouting?_ ” Yosuke stifled a laugh. 

“Fine.” Souji turned his eyes back to the movie. He pretended not to notice when Yosuke snaked his arm under Teddie’s lower back to grab his boyfriend’s hand; it wasn’t until he started to rub slow circles against Souji’s palm that the silver-haired boy broke into a smile, looking at Yosuke out of the corner of his eye. 

“Going back to school is gonna suck,” Yosuke mumbled. 

“Your grades are a lot better, it won’t be that bad-”

“Dude.” The brunette sighed. “Not what I mean.” 

A quiet chuckle. “Can we have a standing lunch date, at least?”

“Hell yes.” Yosuke squeezed his hand. “I’ll even bring stuff so it’s not just, like, you feeding me all the time.”

“I don’t mind.” Carefully, so as not to wake Teddie, Souji leaned over to kiss his way up the inside of Yosuke’s wrist. Yosuke turned bright red.

“ _Partner_ ,” he hissed, gesturing to Teddie with his eyes, trying not to wake the sleeping boy. 

Souji smirked. “We’ll have to spend the afternoon at my house tomorrow, then.”

 _I’ve awakened a monster. A shameless, sexy monster_.

Not that Yosuke was complaining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **kunai** \- dagger-like weapons that can also be used as pitons, throwing darts, and spear heads


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 30 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm getting the feeling that 'all fluff' is losing people, so I'm trying to work some plot back in. It's still fluffy, I can't _help_ it, but hopefully it won't be as boring. There's still a long way to go...
> 
> I like Rise a lot and she's really just the perfect BFF for Souji x Yosuke, especially considering their future in this AU.
> 
> Also, I realised recently that there is no PM system here so if anybody wants to talk at me, here's my [tumblr](http://ohlookashinysquirrel.tumblr.com).

It was probably a good thing that they spent the night at Yosuke’s, where Teddie was _more_ than happy to make sure sensei and Sou-kun were up and ready in time for school (and, incidentally, that they weren’t ‘scoring’ where he couldn’t ‘bear witness’. Yosuke was _this_ close to done with the bear jokes.)

There was some quibbling as Souji tried to make tamagoyaki for breakfast _and_ lunch, as well as other breakfast and bento foods, but he wasn’t as familiar with Yosuke’s kitchen and _Yosuke I love you but just sit down no Teddie that does not mean you come take his place_ , but they were able to get a quick breakfast - which turned into toast and orange juice and slightly-scorched eggs - without being _too_ late. At least this time they wouldn’t have to wait for each other at their usual corner. 

Despite (or because of) the quibbling, Souji wished all mornings were like this.

* * *

Halfway to school - having been followed to the corner by Teddie who was then sent off to his day shift at Junes - Rise ran up behind them. “Senpaiiiii~” A grin. “You two came from the same place today~”

“Rise, please?” Souji’s eyes were worried, although he smiled at her. “I don’t mind joking about it when it’s just the group…”

“Oh, right.” She frowned, pinching her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Souji-senpai!” Wrapping her arms through the boys’ elbows, walking between them, she grinned. “Sooooo.”

Yosuke gave her a sideways glance. “What do you want, Rise?”

A laugh. “Maybe I just wanted to walk with my two favourite guys? Besides, who would want to gossip about you two when they could gossip about you two _and Risette?_ ” A smirk as Souji blinked, then chuckled.

“You’re sly, Rise.”

“Yep.” A self-aware - and self-satisfied - smile. “Buuuuuuut~”

Souji and Yosuke each raised an eyebrow at the other. _Here it comes_. 

“A little birdie told me you guys are playing music together a bunch.”

“Nanako.” Souji chuckled. “She’s our one-person fan club.”

“Well, I was thinking.” Rise looked a little nervous, and Yosuke raised an eyebrow. 

“Is this about wanting to go back into the business?”

Souji looked startled, saying nothing; Rise looked up at Yosuke with serious eyes and nodded.

“I’m done being Risette-the-marionette. I’m taking some online music composition classes, and, well…” She looked down, surprising both boys with a flush. “Nanako-chan said that Souji-senpai was really good at ‘making up new music’, and I know you’ve always been good writing your own songs, Yosuke-senpai.” She bit her lip. “I just… I _really_ want to re-debut with something _I_ picked, something _I_ had a hand in making, and I was thinking maybe we could all have a brainstorming session? I mean, if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work, but I’ve tried it on my own but everything just sounds like my old stuff and I don’t _want_ to be a copycat, and…” 

The two boys looked at one another over her head; Yosuke tilted his head at Souji, raising an eyebrow, and Souji smiled gently before putting a hand over Rise’s, still on his arm. “I think that would be a lot of fun. I’m not really as good as Nanako wants to make me sound, but I’d be glad to help out.”

“Yeah.” Yosuke grinned. “I mean, you might not like my stuff, but hey! Jamming is fun, the more the merrier, right?”

“Senpai…” Rise looked up, back and forth between them, blinking hard. “Thank you…”

Souji chuckled, quietly. “It’ll be fun. Besides, it’s what friends do, right? And I wouldn’t mind a chance to stretch my fingers a bit more. When do you want to get together?”

“I’ve got to help grandma out at the shop tonight-” she started.

“-and I have to work this evening,” Yosuke finished, frowning. 

“Tomorrow?” Souji looked across at the two of them. “Or would you rather wait for this weekend?”

“Tomorrow, if you’re okay with after basketball practice, sure!” Yosuke nodded. “Folks will be home by then, so-”

“My place?” Souji smiled. “Uncle and Nanako won’t be back for another week and a half. Bring a change of clothes and you can clean up after practice and I’ll cook and we can all see where we want to start.”

“I love it!” Rise wiggled. “This is gonna be so much fun!”

* * *

“Rise is going back to being an idol?” Souji dropped half of his tamagoyaki into Yosuke’s bento box and grabbed one of the brunette’s onigiri. 

“Yeah. We talked about it a bunch before Christmas.” Yosuke grabbed the umeboshi out of the riceball before Souji could get it completely into his own box; his boyfriend made a face at him, but it was gentle and happy. 

“Hmmm. You know, out of everybody, I used to worry the most about having her as competition. Well, not exactly competition -” Souji shook his head. “That would imply I expected anything in regards to myself. I guess I just expected you to end up with her. It was the best fit.” 

Yosuke raised an eyebrow at this. “Best fit? Because she’s an idol? That’s flattering, but-”

Shaking his head, Souji ate the ume-less onigiri. “No, because she’s smart, talented, good-hearted, observant, and cunning as hell. Obviously, you deserved nothing but the best.” A crooked grin.

Face red, Yosuke shoved him. “Partner, if you’re not careful, I’m going to worry that _you’ve_ got a crush on Rise.”

Poking Yosuke’s nose with his chopsticks, the silver-haired boy chuckled. “If you don’t know better, then I’ve done a horrible job this past week. I just respect her, you know? I respect all of our friends, but I really think that Rise is a powerhouse in the making. Remember what I said about my family? As far back as I can remember Father’s taught me to recognize people with potential, and Rise’s definitely one of them. I almost pity whoever is smart enough to sign her when she goes back into the business; she’ll turn their world upside-down.”

Munching on his tamagoyaki, Yosuke watched Souji, thoughtfully. “You know… I’m really glad you turned out _not_ to be an asshole. If you’d ended up like your shadow, you would have been manipulative as hell. Hot, but terrifying.”

Eyebrow raised, Souji shrugged, flushing. “You have yourself to thank for that, you know? I was certainly on my way.”

Yosuke shook his head, even as he smiled. “No, I have to thank Nanako.” 

“Nanako helped, but you have to take credit where credit is due.” They weren’t alone on the roof, so all Souji could do was give Yosuke a warm smile, but for the moment, it was enough.

* * *

Back in the classroom, Souji began to realize just what Yosuke meant about school sucking. His notebook - usually garnering four to five new full pages of notes a day - was barely on the second new page, it was already an hour after lunch, he had the freckles on the back of Yosuke’s neck memorised, and it wasn’t until Chie kicked his chair that he snapped to attention, realizing he’d been tracing the lines of his boyfriend’s throat with his eyes, over and over again. 

Realizing that he hadn’t been called on - Chie was just trying to help him out, since he didn’t want to get _caught_ spacing out while staring at Yosuke with bedroom eyes - he heaved a sigh of relief, nodding quietly to her. She smirked, shaking her head and turning back to face the front of the room; Souji quickly wrote down the last thing he’d heard Hosoi-sensei say: “toso” and “bury the demons.”

The teacher continued. “For generations it has been said of this New Year’s drink that ‘if one person drinks this his family will not fall ill; if the whole family does no-one in the village will fall ill.’”

 _Yosuke should have had some of that, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten sick. I guess amazake isn’t enough_. His eyes strayed up; Yosuke had just turned his head to look at something, whether out the window or in the next row, and Souji caught a glimpse of his lips, and he remembered the New Year’s kiss that had tasted like amazake, and… 

_Dammit_. He shook his head. _Get it together, Souji!_

At some level, his feelings for Yosuke terrified him. Part of it, he knew, was the fear that he was overcompensating for so many years frozen, emotionless. _Will these feelings last? What happens if they don’t?_

Then, did he love Yosuke because of _Yosuke_ , or because Yosuke was the first person, besides Nanako, who had _tried_ \- tried to know him, to be friends with him, to free him? _Is this emotion merely born of gratitude towards the first person who gave me affection?_

The idea that these feelings - so strong that they shook his soul - might be placebos, might _change_ , might disappear - terrified him. A small voice tried to point out that, well, if he cared so much that it scared him so much, then maybe there wasn’t as much to worry about?

He’d grown all too adept at ignoring those little voices. 

Rubbing his now-clammy hands on his uniform pants, Souji picked up his pen, meaning to catch his teacher’s next lesson - trying to think of anything except this new dread - when the bell rang, signalling the end of the day. Amidst the immediate bustle, Yosuke turned around, grinning at him. 

At the first glimpse of his boyfriend’s amber eyes, the warmth that immediately spread from the tips of Souji’s toes to the depths of his heart chased away his fears, and suddenly, he couldn’t keep himself from laughing. _It’s just_ … right. _It always will be_. He heard Yosuke’s voice in his mind, from his Christmas confession; “ _I never thought about anybody this much, never dreamed about them like I do you_.” 

Souji understood what he meant, now. 

He wasn’t stupid; he knew there would be times when the dread would come back, when he was scared - of himself, of life, of his parents, of the future. He also knew Yosuke would be right there to help him through it. 

“Let’s go home,” he muttered. 

His boyfriend smirked. “You got it, partner.”

* * *

They didn’t say much on the walk home; having to keep everything hidden all day had put Souji into a subdued, almost shy mood, and Yosuke could tell that something had been bothering the silver-haired boy in the last period. It was hard not to take his hand, rub his thumb along the back of it, and ask what was going on; when the Dojimas’ door closed behind them, he grabbed Souji and pulled him into his arms, leaning their foreheads together.

“What’s wrong?”

Souji - a contrast to the day before - looked bashful. He shook his head. “Nothing, now. Was having a bit of a crisis of disbelief back in Hosoi-sensei’s class, but…” A shrug. “Things are better now.” Closing his eyes, he let Yosuke tangle their fingers together.

“You know you can talk to me any time you worry like that, right? I mean, I know you can’t really do it in the middle of class, but…” The brunette’s voice was worried, and it made Souji smile.

“I know. You fixed it, anyway. It’ll be back, but I’ll tell you when it is.”

“Good.” Leaning over, Yosuke gave him a long kiss. “Let’s go make out under the kotatsu until I have to leave for work.” 

“Mmm.” Souji hummed. “You certainly know how to make things better.” A smile as Yosuke dragged him into the living room. 

“What can I say? I want to be a good boyfriend.” 

_You're already the best_. He couldn’t say it, since Yosuke was already kissing him, but it was one of those things he realized didn’t need to be said out loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **tamagoyaki** \- sweet rolled eggs  
>  **bento** \- a japanese lunchbox into which the food is placed directly  
>  **onigiri** \- rice balls, usually formed into triangles with fillings pressed into the back, seaweed wrapped around them, and/or furikake (seasoning that often consists of salt, fish flakes, sesame seeds, flaked seaweed, and other items)  
>  **umeboshi** \- pickled plum  
>  **toso** \- spiced medicinal sake, traditionally drunk at new years  
>  **amazake** \- hot sweet sake, either alcoholic or non-alcoholic


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 31 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which we get a little glimpse of the boys' future. Full warning, I'm not a music expert, so I apologize if anything sounds wrong or seems off.

Souji had never watched Yosuke play basketball; as he sat in the bleachers - one of many onlookers, as between Kou and Yosuke, there were a lot of fans - he found himself both glad and regretful that it was his first time. 

Regretful, because the way Yosuke _moved_ on the court, well - Souji had to shake his head, knowing better than to go down that route, especially in the middle of a crowd of Yosuke’s fans. They might have known he was off the market, but they didn’t know _why_ , and even if a small part of Souji’s jealous heart would have loved for them to know, he knew it wasn’t something he wanted to deal with at that time. 

Glad, because if he’d started watching Yosuke play basketball before he’d come to terms with his feelings, he would probably have spontaneously combusted. Or something.

It was just practice, so once the bell rang Souji made his way down to sit on the steps outside the gym, waiting for Yosuke to change and make his way through the gaggle of fans. Something told Souji that waiting inside with them would just make things worse; he wasn’t exactly jealous, but he found himself really wishing they didn’t have to hide their relationship - and he had a feeling that the 3,000-watt smile that lit up his boyfriend’s face every time he saw Souji would have been a dead giveaway to the girls who all wanted his attention. 

Rise had just come to find them when Yosuke walked out of the gym; he looked a bit surprised to see them together, but grinned nonetheless. “Glad you could finally come to practice!” 

“I know you’re not talking to me, senpai.” Rise grinned. “You know I used to cheer you on all the time.”

“It was good.” Souji mumbled the words, trying not to flush, and Yosuke smirked. 

“We ready?” He offered Souji a hand to pull him up from his seat, taking the chance to gently squeeze his fingers; Souji finally did flush, and Rise giggled.

“Of course!” She patted the long bag under her arm. “I’ve got my keyboard and notebook.”

* * *

The three headed to Souji’s house in companionable conversation; Yosuke and Rise spent most of the walk talking portable keyboard brands, and while Souji had never played any sort of key instruments, he listened with interest. 

Once inside Yosuke headed upstairs to get a shower; Rise flopped onto the couch, looking around. “It’s too quiet. I miss Nanako-chan!”

Souji, who was already pulling out the ingredients to make curry, looked over his shoulder. “Uncle called last night, they should be home in about a week.”

“Yay!” Clapping, Rise came into the kitchen. “Can I watch you cook, senpai?”

“Sure. It’s not that interesting, but if you want.” A shrug. “Would you go ahead and make some tea?” Tossing his jacket over the back of one of the kitchen chairs, he started to dice vegetables.

* * *

The tea was steaming on the table when Yosuke came downstairs, raking his fingers through his damp hair. The smell of garlic and ginger hung heavy in the air, and Souji was just showing Rise how to dice potatoes so that all of the pieces would come out relatively the same size. Smiling at the tableau, he walked up behind the two, putting his arms over both their shoulders. 

“Having fun?”

“Senpai, look!” Rise, an elated look on her face, held up a handful of evenly-sliced vegetables. “They’re perfect! I’m soooo gonna beat Chie-senpai and Yukiko-senpai next time we cook!”

A chuckle. “That wouldn’t be hard.” He grabbed his tea, knowing that Souji always put his tea in the same mug, and Souji laughed.

“The trick is staying simple. I know it’s tempting to add a bunch of stuff, but you want ingredients that add to, supplement, or round out the flavour - not ones that are different.” 

She looked inspired. “I think I get it, like… I wouldn’t wear my peacock necklace with my orange silk top or either of them with my fuchsia mini and quartz heels. It’s just… tacky.” 

“Exactly.” Souji smiled warmly. “You’ve got the hang of it now.” He took the opportunity to offer Yosuke a taste of the sauce, and as the brunette nodded his approval, Rise giggled.

“You two are so cute it’s almost sick.” Her beaming smile belied her words. “I admit I was put out when Yosuke-senpai broke up with everybody, but now I kinda see why.” When Souji flushed, she smiled, patting his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Souji-senpai. We’re all happy for you two.”

Although he could watch Souji cook for hours, Yosuke was also good at recognizing when his boyfriend needed to be rescued, so he sat down at the kitchen table. “Okay, Rise, do you want to go ahead and show us what you’ve got so far?”

She looked hesitantly at Souji, who nodded as he cubed some beef. “Dinner’s going to be another hour, so yeah. We’ve got time.” Rise, who was used to instant curry, blinked.

“An hour?”

His boyfriend chuckled. “Blame Souji. He never makes anything from a mix.” 

The silver-haired boy swatted Yosuke’s shoulder as he smirked, and Rise nodded, pulling out her portable keyboard. Yosuke was sidetracked for a bit, asking all kinds of questions while she got it set up; Souji watched from the side, also curious.

When she was finished, she took out her notebook, which was - unsurprisingly - full of pink looped notes and hearts instead of maru. It was also - to Yosuke’s surprise - filled with page after page of tidy figures and thoroughly-researched information about what he assumed were idol agencies and record labels. When he looked up, Souji caught his eye; his expression and raised eyebrow said _I told you so_.

After a few minutes while she gathered her thoughts, she started into a little tune, singing along; it was very clearly in its infancy, and wasn’t exactly a work of genius, but there was something catchy about it. No one would have questioned that the lyrics were written by a high-school girl, yet there was a layer of maturity there that made Yosuke sit back, looking at the notebook, thoughtfully. The topic was understandable enough - a young girl, or woman, wanting to force the world to see her for who she was, not who it wanted her to be - anyone who knew Rise would not be surprised at the theme.

Yosuke, who’d been there the entire time watching Rise find herself, had some ideas. “Hey, partner, mind if I borrow a pen and some paper?”

Souji, who was already humming the refrain to himself, carefully, nodded his head towards the drawers under the phone. “You know where they are.” 

For the next half hour, Yosuke sat with Rise, scribbling through lyrics as they tossed ideas back and forth; Souji was lost between cooking and the musical phrase running through his head.

* * *

They took a break to eat, while Rise squealed again over Souji’s cooking and told Yosuke how jealous she was that he got to eat Souji-senpai’s lunch every day and Yosuke _almost_ squinted at her in jealousy but somehow it never got quite that bad. Everyone helped clean up, and once the dishes were drying, Souji took the stairs two at a time to his room, coming back with Nanako’s violin. 

While he tuned it, Yosuke brought out his guitar, going back over some of the song changes he and Rise had made before dinner; Souji listened carefully, nodding as Yosuke highlighted the parts where they’d focused more on the bittersweet phrasing and overall hopeful tone. 

“I like it.” Softly drawing his bow over the strings, he thought for a moment, remembering; after a few mistakes that forced him to begin again, he played through the main refrain that Rise had given them earlier. 

“Wow, senpai.” She nodded. “Good ear.” 

“Thanks.” He smiled a bit, no longer torn to shreds when others complimented his musical talents. “So, what do you think about this?”

He started again, only this time, he shifted most of the refrain and the main theme of the verse into a minor key, and suddenly it was no longer a tinkly, bouncy thing; it was aching and just as bittersweet as the lyrics, and Rise put a hand over her mouth. 

“I _love_ it!” Grabbing her keyboard, she began to copy his notes - haltingly at first as she adjusted a few phrasings, but it wasn’t long before she was playing through with the changes that they’d both made. When they got to the lyrics Yosuke joined Rise in singing, and Souji put his violin aside as he listened, enjoying the duet. 

When she’d finished playing through what she had, the song was clearly nowhere near complete - they’d changed it a bit, rearranged it and given it a new direction, perhaps, but there was a lot of work still to do. She looked ecstatic, however, hugging her notebook with Yosuke’s scribbled notes folded inside it. 

“Guys, thank you _so much_.” She beamed. “This is exactly what I wanted.”

“We didn’t really do much,” Souji said, with Yosuke nodding behind him; she just smiled.

“Well, that’s why it’s so great. You helped me out, but you let me keep _my_ song. Of course I’ll credit you guys, though! You can be my co-writers!”

Yosuke grinned, but his grin dropped when he saw his boyfriend’s frown. “Oh, that’s right. Not that I think Souji’s parents would ever find out who was credited on a pop idol’s new hit, but-”

“-but someone might put two and two together, so…” Souji sighed. “Sorry, Rise. Don’t worry about me, it’s all you and Yosuke, anyway.”

“Nonsense.” The look on Rise’s face was undaunted, and Yosuke had a fleeting thought that had she been dating Souji, Souji’s parents would already have been over and dealt with. “We’ll just give you a pseudonym!”

“She’s got a point.” Yosuke nodded, but Souji looked unconvinced.

“I don’t know-”

“Nope! I got it.” Rise’s eyes had just fallen on one of Nanako’s storybooks laying on the table next to the couch, and she nodded emphatically. “Narukami! Yuu Narukami.”

“You just made that up.” Yosuke raised an eyebrow. “That’s random as hell.” 

“Of course it’s random!” She huffed. “It’s not supposed to be, like, his True Name or something, the whole point is to _not_ give people an idea who it really is! Narukami is the main character in Nanako’s storybook over there, and Yuu was the cute lead in the drama I was watching last night.”

The brunette snorted a bit, still looking unconvinced, but Souji smiled. 

“I still say you don’t need to worry, but if it really means that much to you, sure.”

* * *

Rise decided that she wanted to work on the rest of the song by herself - at least until it was ready to be tidied up and polished off - but the evening was still young, so she wheedled the two boys into a nice long jam session; not that they needed much convincing. 

It was a lot of fun. Souji had been listening to a lot of the music Yosuke gave him, so he was up on a lot more of the music the other two knew. It wasn’t quite as flawless with Rise as it was when it was just the two of them, but it was still _good_. Rise enjoyed herself as much as the two boys, but as the evening progressed, she pushed for more and more songs where Souji and Yosuke could sing together and she could sit back, listening, maybe playing her keyboard.

The speculative look on her face grew, and by the time they decided it was time to wrap it up, she looked very much like she had an entirely _new_ idea to mull over, even if she said nothing about it. Smiling, she packed away her things, bouncing to her feet. 

“This was _so cool!_ We’ll have to do it again!” Standing on tiptoes, she gave each of the boys a peck on the cheek before heading to grab her shoes. 

“Hang on, Rise, I’ll walk you home.” Yosuke zipped up his guitar case, taking the opportunity while Rise was still in the foyer to press a hungry kiss to Souji’s lips. “I’m sorry I can’t stay the night,” he whispered. Souji, who tried not to lean into the kiss, opened his eyes; he didn’t say anything, but his look of reassurance spoke for him, and Yosuke just squeezed his hand. “I’ll text you when I get home, okay?” 

“You’d better.” Souji walked the two to the door. “It really was great, you guys. Let’s do it again some time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **maru** \- a term for the circles that denote changes in some hiragana and katakana (for example,  は = ha,　ば = ba　ぱ = pa)


	32. Chapter 32

A few days later, Souji was waiting for Yosuke at their usual corner - Yosuke’s parents had been off the night before, so he’d stayed at home instead of spending the night with Souji - scrolling back through the morning’s texts when he heard Yosuke shout his name. It was practically a ritual by this point. 

Looking up, he smiled warmly; sure, it was only the night before that he’d seen Yosuke, having stuck around at Junes so the brunette could spend his work breaks with him, but the more time they spent together the more he felt like time apart was… a waste. Not that he begrudged Yosuke his extra-curricular activities or other friends, and he knew that his boyfriend understood any time he had to leave early to do something for Nanako or his uncle, or just go home and study; that didn’t change the fact that doing things, going places with Yosuke was a thousand times better than doing them or going there alone. 

_I feel_ complete w _hen we’re together. I’m also a complete and utter sap, apparently, not that I’d ever_ share _that thought._

Yosuke returned the smile as he walked up beside Souji, and the two headed for school. As Yosuke was his usual five-minutes-late, there were fewer people on the way; however much Souji wasn’t fond of playing the ‘almost-but-not-quite-late’ game, he had to admit that he appreciated the fact that they could be a little more affectionate and open with each other on mornings such as these. 

They’d gone a few feet when the brunette looked up at his boyfriend, chewing on his lower lip - the habit _got_ Souji, every time, but he managed to keep his countenance fairly steady, waiting for Yosuke to speak. 

Finally, he did. “Question, partner.”

“Answer, partner. Maybe. Depending.” 

They both smirked, and Yosuke shoved Souji’s shoulder with his own. “Dude. Shitty joke.”

“Yep. _That_ was a statement, though, not a question.”

An eyeroll. “If you’re going to keep going I can just make other plans tomorrow.”

This, of course, shut Souji up; not that Yosuke _would_ have made other plans, but even if he had, the nervous, anxious, almost-but-not-quite puppy-dog eyes Souji was giving him ( _rabbit eyes? mouse eyes? He’s too damn shy_.) would have ensured that he didn’t.

“Sorry.” A grin. “You know I wouldn’t, right? Anyway.” _Of course, now that he’s listening, nerves kick in_. “Well… how would you feel about my parents knowing about us?”

For what felt like minutes but was probably only a few moments, Souji blinked at Yosuke, and Yosuke bit his lip. He was just about to follow up with a “don’t worry about it” when Souji rubbed the back of his neck, looking down.

“Well… I guess my question would be, how would they take it?” There was an anxious look in his eyes that he was trying to hide, only somewhat successfully.

“While I can’t give you a definite answer, given that you’re my first actual, real relationship -” he paused to appreciate the happy flush on Souji’s cheeks. “Well, my folks have always been ridiculously supportive, and I know mom would love you, so… I think it would be great.” He looked down. “I really do want you to meet them, partner. I swear that no matter what, they’d never say anything to your parents.”

Souji’s stomach clenched a bit at this, but he took a look at his boyfriend’s downcast gaze, took a deep breath, and nodded. “Yeah. I trust you, and from everything you’ve said, they sound pretty cool. Uncle knows, already, so…” As Yosuke looked up with a smile, Souji met it with a very small one of his own. “They do know that you, uh-”

“Like guys and girls? Yeah. They knew about all my dates and liked most of them.” He bumped Souji’s hand with his own, just briefly. “They’re not gonna be home tonight, but I, uh-” He brushed his bangs out of eyes. “I asked them if I could bring a friend over for dinner tomorrow. Mom was ecstatic. The only question is, do you want me to tell them before you come over, or while you’re there?”

“Uh.” Of all the questions Yosuke could ask, this was one he didn’t expect and had no idea how to answer. “Before, I guess? From what you’ve said about them they’re not the types to judge me before they meet me, and if they really hate the idea I guess… you can call it off?” Swallowing, he shook his head. “I really hope they don’t hate the idea.”

“They _won’t_. I promise. They’ll love you, even if they don’t love you as much as I do.” A grin, as they walked through the school gates; the bell rang, and they looked at each other with startled glances.

“Shit!” Yosuke was already running. “Race you!”

* * *

When the next afternoon rolled around, Yosuke walked Souji home and continued on to his house; his parents had worked the night before (and, incidentally, he’d spent the night at Souji’s) so at his boyfriend’s request he was going home to talk to them, first. 

_It’ll be fine, but I get why he’s so worried about it. Mom probably could use a few minutes to let it sink in, too; with my luck she’d pounce on him and have him introduced to the full extended family over the phone within the first quarter of an hour_. He shook his head. _To be honest, maybe it is a better idea to talk to them about Souji and his parents before he comes over_.

“‘m home,” he called, closing the door as he kicked off his shoes. 

“Welcome home, honey. Now where’s this friend of-” His mother bustled in from the kitchen and stopped, looking confused. “I thought Seta-kun was coming over this afternoon?”

Yosuke gave her a hug. “He is, but I wanted to talk to you and dad, first.”

Giving him a cryptic look, she nodded, then stepped back to the living room doorway. “Honey! Get in here, Yosuke wants to talk to us.”

After a few moments, his father - looking tired, he always looked tired - came into the foyer. “Welcome home, son. Wasn’t your friend coming to dinner?”

Nodding, Yosuke rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, he is, but before he comes over I wanted to tell you guys that Souji and I are-”

“Dating?” His mother smiled as the brunette’s jaw dropped. “Dear, I understand that you two are trying to be subtle, and to be fair, you’re not doing a bad job of it - but remember that we’re your parents, and we were all young once, whether or not it seems like it now.”

His father smiled. “By all accounts he’s a quiet, well-mannered boy; Dojima-san has always been a pillar of the community. If you’re happy, that’s all that matters.”

Flushing, Yosuke smiled. “Thanks. I told him you wouldn’t care, but he was still worried. I did want to talk to you about his parents, though.”

* * *

> come on, folks r fine

> sumhow they think ur quiet but w/e

> (ノ＞▽＜。)ノ

This made Souji feel a little better, although his heart was still in his stomach; he arrived at the Hanamura residence about fifteen minutes after Yosuke texted him, dressed in his nicest outfit that wasn’t a suit. He’d just barely knocked when he heard pounding footsteps and a yell of “ _Mooooooom, wait!_ ” before the door was opened. 

A petite, dark-haired woman with laugh-line wrinkles around her eyes, a simple housedress, and an apron stood in the doorway, smiling. “You must be Seta-san! Come in, come in.” 

Blushing, Souji held out the bouquet of flowers he’d insisted on buying, as well as a box of cream puffs. “Thank you for the invitation, Mrs. Hanamura.”

“Oh, these are lovely!” She took the flowers and the pastries - handing the pastries to Yosuke, who was standing behind her looking out-of-breath and a bit put out - before stepping back. “Please, come in!”

Souji followed her into the house, taking off his shoes and slipping into the guest slippers; she bustled into the kitchen, taking down a vase for the flowers. Once they were settled on the centre of the dinner table, she turned back to him.

“So handsome! I can see why Yosuke is head-over-heels for you.” She beamed as, behind Souji, her son squawked.

“Mom!” 

The silver-haired boy, meanwhile, looked a little overwhelmed, but his background allowed him to handle it with relative equanimity; he merely nodded and thanked her as she gestured, leading him to the living room. 

“Honey, Seta-san is here.”

It was clear that Yosuke took after his father in looks, if he had his mother’s temperament - Mr. Hanamura was sitting in an armchair, reading the day’s newspaper, which he put away when they entered. 

“Hello.” With a warm smile, he shook Souji’s hand. “Yosuke’s said a lot about you. Thank you for being so good to our son.”

Souji couldn’t help but shoot Yosuke a quick glance as he shook his head. “Actually, sir, it’s the other way around. Yosuke has done so much for me in my short time here. My little sister loves him, too.”

Yosuke’s mother smiled. “Oh, Nanako-chan! We’ve heard a lot about her, too. Please, have a seat. Tea?”

As she headed into the kitchen - Souji taking a seat on the couch near Yosuke but not too close - Teddie burst into the room. “Sou-kun! You’re here!”

* * *

Thanks to Teddie, dinner was lively and Souji didn’t have to say much - although at one point, he and Yosuke’s father got into a conversation about a book that Mr. Hanamura loved that Souji had just recently read. Yosuke’s mother ensured that his plate was never empty, and while she didn’t _hover_ , she took care of Souji with a warmth that would have confused him had he not known the same kindness from Nanako. They ate his cream puffs for dessert, and Souji insisted on helping clear the table; once that was done, Yosuke’s mother chased them out of the kitchen as she flapped a dishrag at them.

“You two have other things to do, I’m certain.”

Up in Yosuke’s room, Souji sat down on the couch with a sigh. “Your family…”

“Sorry, dude.” Yosuke, who’d been rather pink all night, rubbed the back of his neck as he stood next to Souji. “I know they’re sometimes a lot to handle-”

Blinking, his boyfriend looked up at him with surprise. “Huh? They’re amazing. I didn’t realize family could _be_ like that - although I guess it makes sense now, where you get your cheerfulness from. I like them.” A soft smile.

Yosuke sat down next to him, slipping an arm around his waist as he leaned in to nuzzle Souji’s neck. “I’m glad, dude. I know they liked you.”

Souji closed his eyes, sighing happily at the feel of the brunette’s lips behind his ear; reaching out, he laced his fingers through Yosuke’s, running his thumb along the palm of Yosuke’s hand. “I love you,” he murmured quietly.

“I love you, too.” Yosuke was just about to pull Souji closer when the door burst open, and they jerked apart, Yosuke already muttering something about “ _Dammit, bear!_ ”

“Sensei! Sou-kun! I brought tea! Let’s watch a movie!”

“This. This is why I prefer your place.” As Yosuke grumbled, Souji scooted over - incidentally, closer to his boyfriend - to give Teddie room on the couch; with a smile that only the brunette could see, Souji carefully laid a kiss on Yosuke’s ear. 

“It’s not so bad.” His voice was quiet, and Teddie was busy fishing out a DVD for them all to watch. “Besides, you can come over tomorrow, spend the night?”

With a noise that sounded suspiciously like a purr, Yosuke smiled back, eyes half-lidded. “It’s a date.”


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 33 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I have no idea where half of this chapter came from, I just had a burning need for Souji and Yosuke to be domestic, over-protective big bros (dads?) for Nanako.  
> 2) I'm going to start adding vocabulary at the end of each chapter as Japanese words that may be unfamiliar come up. Some of these may be pretty well-known already, but I don't want to assume. The only words I'm definitely leaving out are the ones that show up canonically (& not through side-activities) in the game (like kotatsu). I'll also be going back through older chapters to add vocabulary there, too.  
> 3) Innuendo ~

“Welcome home!” 

When Dojima-san and Nanako came home from the hospital two days later, Yosuke had to work, so it was just Souji waiting after school. He’d made all their favourite foods, and he and Yosuke had stayed up late the night before to make another, smaller, cake. Souji flushed momentarily remembering all the _other_ reasons they’d stayed up late - _but that’s okay, not something that needs to be shared_. 

“Big bro!” Nanako was already hugging him.

“House looks good, Souji. Hanamura couldn’t come?” Dojima set his briefcase down in its usual chair, smiling a little at his nephew’s stunned reaction.

“Er, no. He had to work, but he’s going to come by afterwards to say hi.” Smiling bashfully, Souji took Nanako’s small suitcase. “How was it?”

“The doctor said I’m all better!” Nanako did a pirouette, and the relief that filled the silver-haired boy’s heart was immense, and he realised that the look on his face was probably mirroring the one on Dojima’s. 

“Yep, Nanako’s completely recovered, and I got a clean bill, ready to go back to work full-time.” He reached out to ruffle Souji’s hair, paused, then did it anyway, pulling his nephew into a hug. “Sorry the last month and a half have been a bust.”

Souji hesitated for a moment, then hugged his uncle back. “I wish nothing had happened to you two, but overall, it’s been okay.” 

“I’ll bet.” Souji flushed as his uncle started to chuckle, and the two stepped back. “Well, you cooked up a feast - and I have to say that hospital food sucks when I’ve gotten used to your cooking - so let’s eat before it gets cold.”

* * *

When the meal was finished, Souji looked up at the clock. They’d eaten early, so it was still a few hours before Yosuke would get off work; as he thought this, his uncle raised an eyebrow. 

“Something up?”

Inside, Souji was a bit of a nervous wreck, but he nodded. “Yes, but- uncle, can we talk? I’ll clean up afterwards.”

Dojima’s eyebrow stayed raised; Souji was always so composed that seeing him flustered was a pretty big thing. “Sure.” He reached out to move some of the dishes aside, but when he saw Souji’s face, shook his head. “Let’s head up to your room.”

As Souji looked relieved, Nanako looked up from the slice of cake she was finishing. “Are you two fighting?” Her lower lip trembled, and Souji reached out to put an arm around her shoulders.

“Not at all. I just need uncle’s advice. Everything’s okay, I promise.”

She looked up at him with big eyes, but his smile reassured her, so she nodded, hugging his chest. “Okay. I’m gonna watch _Loveline_!”

“Sounds good.” He ruffled her hair. “I’ll clean up after we’re done talking and Yosuke will be over before you have to go to bed. That work?”

“Yes! I love Yosuke-nii!” She beamed, and Souji and Dojima smiled at each other before heading up to Souji’s room.

* * *

“Yosuke-nii! Yaaaay!” Souji had just opened the door to let his boyfriend in when Nanako came running from the living room to throw herself at the brunette, hugging his neck as he lifted her up - just like she’d done with Souji back at Christmas. 

Yosuke, looking both surprised and pleased, and returned the hug. “I hear you’re all better, Nanako!”

“Yep! I’m all better and the doctor said I can play with Mai-chan and everybody again! I can go back to school, too!”

“We’ll work on your homework tomorrow,” Souji said, putting an arm around the two of them. “Yosuke can come and help, too.”

“Really?” She looked at Yosuke with a bright face, and he chuckled. 

“Of course I will. Then we can go to Junes for soda and snacks.”

“Yay!” She clapped as Dojima came downstairs, a distracted look on his face - which faded into a smile when he saw the group standing at the door.

“Hello, Hanamura. Come on in, don’t just stand there. I think there’s still some cake left. Thanks for helping Souji with the meal, and with cleaning up the place.”

“Of course, sir.” Yosuke carried Nanako into the living room, and Souji went to the kitchen to make tea, bringing it out with the slice of cake they’d set aside. 

As Nanako sipped her chamomile tea, she told Yosuke all about the friends she’d made in the hospital, what her dolls had been up to, and Souji just leaned back, watching them with a smile. Dojima sat with them for a while, but once he’d finished his tea, he ruffled Nanako’s hair and told her it was bedtime. She handed her empty mug to Souji, then got up to give both him and Yosuke both goodnight hugs before trotting off to her room.

Dojima smiled. “I’ll put her to bed, and then I’m going upstairs to do some research. Hanamura, if you’re going to be over here tomorrow helping Nanako with her homework, you should stay the night.” When both boys looked at him, stunned, he chuckled. “I expect you both to remember what we’ve talked about.” 

“Uh, yessir, of course.” Yosuke was bright red, and Souji wasn’t far behind; Dojima was still laughing as he left the room. 

“Dude what the hell?” Yosuke looked like someone had dropped a bomb directly in front of him. 

Souji wasn’t quite as shocked, but he was still _embarrassed_ , and all he could do was hide his face. “I am _so_ sorry…”

The absurdity of the situation finally hit Yosuke, and he started to snicker as he leaned over, burying his face in Souji’s shoulder. “Dude, don’t apologize… I just… holy crap.” He was laughing outright by now, and after a moment, Souji’s shoulders started to shake, too. Within minutes, they were both on the floor, howling with laughter. 

It wasn’t _quite_ to Yukiko's level, and eventually the laughter died down as they sat up, Yosuke wiping his eyes as Souji tried to catch his breath. “You should probably call your parents.”

“Oh. Right.” Face still red, Yosuke dug around in his pocket for his phone before heading into the foyer to make the call. Souji cleared away the tea things, then caught Yosuke’s eye and gestured towards the stairs as he headed for his room. The brunette nodded, waving him on.

A few minutes later, Souji’s bedroom door opened and closed softly as Yosuke came in, flopping down onto the couch next to his boyfriend. 

“Dad was getting ready to head in for the overnight shift anyway, so it’s no biggie. I think they wouldn’t care either way, though; Mom can’t stop talking about how much she loved you.”

Souji scooted over, wrapping an arm around the brunette’s shoulders. “I’m flattered, and I’m glad you can stay.” Keeping in mind Dojima’s _many_ cautions - _especially as I suspect he would absolutely come in the minute we made too much noise if he suspected we were up to anything_ \- he pressed a kiss to the side of Yosuke’s mouth. “I like your parents. I think your mom would love Nanako.”

“Dude, you have no idea. Maybe you guys both can come over for dinner one night.” Closing his eyes, he shivered, trying to stifle any untoward noises. 

“Or I can cook, invite them over, return their hospitality. I know Nanako has some new dolls she wants to show Teddie.” He traced Yosuke’s collarbone with his fingertips - now calloused from his work on the guitar and his violin - and smirked as his boyfriend _squirmed_. 

“Soun- sounds good,” Yosuke finally forced out, between gritted teeth. “Dude… your uncle will kill us if we get too loud… you might not have a problem staying quiet, but I-”

“Good thing I’ve got some ideas.” Souji’s voice was low enough - a rumble in Yosuke’s ear - that the brunette had to slap a hand over his mouth to keep himself from _moaning_ as his boyfriend shifted on the couch, straddling his lap. With fingers that were too hot for such a snowy night, Souji firmly took Yosuke’s hand, pulled it away from his mouth, and _kissed_ him. 

Usually, Yosuke took charge. Some days, however, Souji turned the tables on him - like tonight - and Yosuke loved every second of it.

* * *

“Ow- _hic_ \- Yosuke-nii, _ow_!” 

Nanako sat in Yosuke’s lap, face tear-stained, as the brunette held a comb and a napkin soaked in olive oil as he studied the clump of gum smeared into the little girl’s hair. He’d been working at it for a good ten minutes, and while he knew all about unconventional hair care - copper dye, while now his trademark, was far from the craziest thing he’d ever done to himself - he’d never actually had to deal with this particular situation before. Still, if olive oil could get theater-grade makeup latex out of hair, it would certainly work on _gum_. 

“Sorry, Nanako. It’s gonna hurt a little bit, but if it does get too bad, tell me, okay?” 

“Okay.” She gripped his knee, trying not to cry, and closed her eyes. 

Suddenly Souji, who’d had the house phone against his ear, jerked it away to stare angrily at the earpiece; his knuckles were white, and Yosuke looked up. 

“Dude. Calm down, okay? You’re going to hurt yourself or break something.”

“No one’s answering.” Stalking over, he put the phone back into its cradle - just barely resisting the urge to slam it down, knowing that it would startle Nanako - and headed for the foyer. “I’m going out to look for-”

“Oh no you don’t!” Yosuke, who’d started to make some headway - now that the oil had soaked into the gum, and Nanako was in much less pain - put the comb aside. “ _Partner_. Nanako already said it was an accident, and murdering a first-grader would look really bad on your record, you know?” When Nanako jerked around to look at him, wide-eyed, he chuckled. “Sorry, Nanako. It was a joke.”

“Yeah.” She sniffled, wiping her eyes as Yosuke started to gently work on the dwindling patch of gum again. “Mizuki-kun was gonna show me his sticker book but one of the big boys tripped him and he fell on me.”

“What big boy was it? I’ll find him-”

“ _Souji_ …” Yosuke’s voice held a warning tone, and his boyfriend frowned. Before he could turn back to the kitchen, however, there was a small knock at the door. Taking a deep breath to compose himself, Souji opened it; a young boy about Nanako’s age stood there, looking terrified. 

“I- is, um, excuse me, are you Mr. Big Bro? Is Nana-chan at home?”

Souji eyed him. “Are you Mizuki?”

The boy’s eyes widened and he looked more scared, if that was possible. “Y-y-y-yes sir.”

“Big bro, I promise it was an accident!” Nanako slid off Yosuke’s lap as the brunette wadded up the oily, gummy napkin. 

“All done, though Nanako’s gonna need to wash her hair to get all the oil out.”

Souji turned back to Mizuki, who wiped his eyes. “I’m sorry, Nana-chan! I didn’t mean to!” The silver-haired boy looked between the two, then back to the young boy.

“Nanako says that a bigger boy pushed you.”

“Um. He tripped me, and I fell over, and… Nana-chan fell over and they all started laughing and I…” Shame-facedly, he looked down. “I ran home because I was scared, I didn’t know what to do when Nana-chan started to cry. I’m really sorry.”

Nanako walked up beside Souji. “It’s okay, big bro! It’s okay, Mi-kun. The big kids ran away too so I just came home and Yosuke-nii got the gum out of my hair.”

The young boy looked up, and Souji realized he was holding something. “I- I brought my sticker book. Can I show it to Nana-chan? She wanted to see them. I gotta go home soon but I didn’t - I said she could look.”

A long silence prevailed while Yosuke walked up behind Souji, not touching him, just to give him support; Souji looked between Mizuki and Nanako, before turning to look at Yosuke, then back to the kids. 

“Come in, Mizuki. Nanako needs a bath, but you two can play for fifteen minutes before you have to go home.”

Mizuki looked relieved - though still relatively frightened - and when he came in, Yosuke took him into the kitchen to get him a drink while Souji took Nanako off to get a bath and wash her hair. They were gone for about twenty minutes, and when they came back, Yosuke and Mizuki were talking while Mizuki sipped some strawberry milk. 

Souji looked at Yosuke, who nodded; Mizuki slipped out of the chair. “Nana-chan, I’m really sorry I made you cry. I won’t run away next time, okay?”

“Okay.” Nanako smiled. “Let’s look at your stickers!” 

“Okay!” 

While they sat at the kotatsu - on opposite sides - Souji sat on the couch, pretending to read a textbook but in reality watching the two like a hawk, and Yosuke started to work on the yakisoba he’d been in the middle of making when Nanako had come home in tears.

* * *

Fifteen minutes passed quickly enough; when Souji closed his book, Mizuki looked up at the clock. “Um. I gotta go, Nana-chan.”

“Okay, Mi-kun.” She stood up. “Thanks for letting me see your stickers!” She followed Souji as he walked Mizuki to the door. 

Outside, the young boy turned back. “Thank you, Mr. Souji, for letting me stay.” 

Souji’s expression softened, though just a bit. “Do you live close, Mizuki?”

“Yes, sir. Just over there.” He pointed down the street.

“All right, be safe.” 

The boy ran off, and Souji stood watching to make sure he made it home safely; once they all went inside, Nanako ran off to her room to do something, and Yosuke turned to his boyfriend.

“You realize you looked _exactly like_ Dojima-san back there, right?”

“Huh?” Souji looked startled.

“After you got over the initial urge to kill that kid - good job, by the way - the look on your face was exactly the same one on your uncle’s when he talked to me about you. You realize they’re only six, right? Seven.” 

Souji straightened up, stiffly. “I know, but he _fell on her_ , Yosuke. And made her cry!” 

“I know.” Yosuke put an arm around his shoulders as they went inside. “I know, and you were actually quite reasonable. I just thought it was funny as hell.” A chuckle. “Dinner’s almost ready.”

Souji’s face softened, and he leaned over to give Yosuke a kiss. “Thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **yakisoba** \- 'grilled noodles', usually stir-fried with veggies, and sometimes meat


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 34 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A series of vignettes; bittersweet fluff as they realize that March is a lot closer than they'd like.

“Big bro?”

Souji took the hairbrush he’d been holding in his mouth and set it on the kotatsu, reaching for a pink ribbon. “Mmmm, Nanako?”

Holding her head still so that he could tie a bow, Nanako looked sideways at Yosuke, out of the corner of her eye, as she sat on Souji's lap. “You love Yosuke-nii, right?”

The question shocked both boys, although Souji managed to finish tying the ribbon without pulling her hair; Souji and Yosuke looked at each other, expressions ranging from _uh what now_ to _oh god what’s next_. 

“I do.” Souji nodded.

Nanako turned to look at them, a serious look on her face. “But Yosuke-nii is a boy, so he can’t be your girlfriend…”

Carefully reaching across the table to put his hand on Yosuke’s, Souji shook his head. “He doesn’t have to be a girl for me to love him. He’s my boyfriend.”

The little girl looked thoughtful at this. “So, you can be boyfriend and boyfriend and it’s okay?”

“Yep!” Yosuke smiled. “Just like girls could be girlfriend and girlfriend, and it’s fine.” _Man, I hope this isn’t going to cause problems_. “All that matters is if you love the other person.”

“Oh. Okay!” Nanako smiled. “Can I have a cookie, big bro?”

“Uh. Yeah, sure?” Souji looked dazed as the little girl hopped up, walking to the kitchen; he and Yosuke looked at each other.

“...that was anticlimactic.” Yosuke looked confused.

“Tell me about it.” Souji rubbed his nose, and started to laugh.

* * *

Souji was cleaning the dinner dishes and Yosuke was pouring tea, having just put Nanako to bed, when the front door opened and Dojima-san came in, looking tired.

“Hey, Souji. Evening, Hanamura.”

The boys greeted him as Yosuke poured him a mug of tea; Souji offered some leftovers, but his uncle shook his head.

“Ate takeout, but thanks.” He looked back and forth between the boys, then cleared his throat. “Souji. We’re going to the city next Thursday and coming back Friday. If you clear it with your teachers ahead of time it should be fine. I’ll send a note if they need it.”

Fingers immediately tightening around his mug, Yosuke looked back and forth between his boyfriend and Dojima-san; Souji just looked over his shoulder, then nodded. 

“All right, uncle. Thanks.”

Dojima grabbed his tea, nodding to Yosuke - he seemed to accept the brunette by now, and his attitude was much less gruff than before - and walked into the living room, going out to the back patio to smoke a cigarette. Yosuke slid into the seat nearer to Souji, who was still at the sink.

“Going into the city?” He tried to keep his tone light. _It’s none of my business, but_ … The only thing he knew that the city held for Souji was his family, and he hated the the very thought.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Souji’s voice sounded stretched.

“Everything okay?” Setting his mug down, Yosuke walked over to slide an arm around Souji’s waist.

Exhaling heavily, Souji nodded. “Yeah… just have some prep to make for March.” His words were quiet, and suddenly, he wrapped his arm around his own waist, putting his left hand - still covered in soapy water - over Yosuke’s right as it rested on his hip. 

Yosuke closed his eyes, pulling Souji closer; turning his head, he rested his face against Souji’s shoulder. “We’ll make it through. It’ll be hard, but we will. I promise.”

“Yeah.” There was a tremor in the silver-haired boy’s voice, and he leaned towards Yosuke, resting his head against his boyfriend’s; they stood that way for a while. 

Outside, Dojima lingered over his cigarette, watching the two inside with a shake of his head.

* * *

They lingered over their farewells that evening, and as Souji was settling into his futon, his phone lit up. 

> hey partner u doin ok

Souji bit his lip, frowning at the screen. 

> Yeah. Miss you, but that can’t be helped.

He took a deep breath. _Wish I could say more, but there isn’t more to say. Not now_.

> u no that if things get bad i’ll come n get u rite

> in tokyo

> swear it

This was exactly the conversation Souji didn’t want to have, not right now. He closed his eyes, hugging his phone for a moment before flipping it back open.

> I believe you. We’ve still got two months, though. I love you, but can we wait to have this conversation?

The answer came back almost immediately, though Souji didn’t feel much better for it.

> course, partner

> luv u, nite <3

It was a long time before Souji could get to sleep that night. 

* * *

Souji, his uncle, and Nanako left early enough on Thursday that Yosuke saw them off at the station; Dojima looked like he wanted to say something biting, but settled for a heavy, eyebrow-raised gaze. “Make sure you make it to class.” 

“Yessir.” Yosuke was feeling a little more comfortable around his boyfriend’s uncle. “I’m gonna take notes for Souji, so I can’t skip. Er. I mean I wouldn’t anyway, but.”

A gruff chuckle. “Don’t get into trouble, Hanamura.” He ushered Nanako - who was wide-eyed and excited about the trip - onto the train, giving the boys a chance to say goodbye.

“It’s just for a day.” Souji gave Yosuke a little smile. “It’s no worse than if you had to work all night or something, or when you were sick.”

“Yeah, but… I just hate it. It’s a reminder.” He squeezed Souji’s hand, trying not to make too big of a deal about it.

“Yeah. Just remind yourself we still have two months, okay?” There was a nervous look behind Souji’s eyes, and Yosuke just nodded. 

_I’d be nervous, too, although I expect his folks are still out of the country. That counts for something._

“Text me?”

“I’ll text you when I know you’re at breaks and lunch. Otherwise I won’t be able to read your notes.”

“Jerk.” A pause. “You won’t be able to read them anyway.” They laughed.

“Yeah, but you can help me decipher them.” 

The whistle blew, and Souji - on a split-second whim - reached out and pecked Yosuke’s cheek; Yosuke gave him a ridiculously sappy smile.

“Miss you, partner. Be safe.”

“You too, partner.”

* * *

As promised, Souji sent as many texts during breaks that he could, although he warned Yosuke at lunch that they’d gotten to town and that the afternoon was probably going to be busy. Then, Yosuke had to work, and Souji went out with Dojima and Nanako to have dinner with some family relatives from Chisato’s side, and it was finally evening before the boys could talk again.

> class sucked u didnt miss much

> Is that your way of saying you forgot to take notes?

> dude! have sum faith, i just bet u alredy no this stuff

> Doesn’t mean I don’t need a refresher. Thanks, Yosuke, I appreciate it.

> n-e time partner

> how’d it go

> It went. Wish I was back in Inaba.

> r u kiddin wats inaba got that the city dont 

> You.

> miss u 2, u sap

> hang on, ted says HI SOU-KUN

> u’ll b bak 2moro after skool rite

> Hi, Teddie. And yes, I will.

> i’ll b there, don’t hav 2 wrk

> Perfect. I have to go now, the light will keep Nanako awake.

> tell nanako i said hi

> She said “Night night, Yosuke-nii!”

> heh she’s 2 cute

> so’re u

> luv u, txt me 2moro

> I love you, too. Get some sleep.

* * *

Souji was up far earlier than he wanted, but they had a lot of appointments that day; he texted Yosuke when he could, and once they were on the train home, he caught himself flipping his phone open and closed, waiting for class to let out so that Yosuke would respond again. Nanako was in the seat beside him, asleep; they’d spent a few hours after lunch and before their train left at an amusement park, and she was exhausted. Her arms were around a large stuffed rabbit, but her head was still against Souji’s arm.

Dojima raised an eyebrow at him. “So, you’re not going to tell Hanamura?”

Souji shook his head. “Not until there’s something to tell.”

His uncle gave him a long look, ending with an approving nod. “There’s a good head on your shoulders, Souji.”

* * *

When they got to the station, the whole group was waiting for them; Nanako, who’d gotten her second wind by that point, bounced out of the train, running straight for the group. “Yosuke-nii! Everybody, hi!” 

Souji and Dojima followed, both looking tired; Souji smiled at everyone even as his hand brushed Yosuke’s. “Hey guys.” 

“Hey yourself.” Chie grinned. “See? We’ll always be here to meet you whenever you come back.” 

“Thanks.” He smiled tiredly, but gratefully; Dojima took Nanako’s hand and Souji’s duffel bag. 

“Don’t be out too late, kids. You’ve got school tomorrow.”

“Sure thing!” Yosuke brushed his bangs out of his eyes. “We’re just gonna grab dinner. I’ll see you later, Nanako!”

“Bye, Yosuke-nii! Bye everybody!”

The group waved until Dojima drove off; Chie turned back with a satisfied grin. “Aiya’s, or Junes?”

They all looked at each other. “Aiya’s.”

* * *

When they got back to the house, Dojima’s car was gone; Nanako was watching tv, telling her new bunny all about the plot of _Loveline_ , but she turned when they entered.

“Dad said he had to go into the office to file some paperwork. He’ll be late.” She ran over to hug them both. 

After they’d had tea and put Nanako - and Usa-chan, her bunny - to bed, Souji made his way back to the couch, flopping bonelessly onto it. 

“I don’t hate the city, but…” He looked at Yosuke, who’d sat down next to him, and reached over. “We might have to go back, I don’t know.”

His boyfriend took his hand, rubbing his thumb along Souji’s wrist as he frowned. “I guess, if you gotta you gotta, right?”

“Yeah.” Souji shook his head. “Maybe not, we’ll see. I hope not.” 

He didn’t seem like he wanted to say much more, and something told Yosuke not to pry. As Souji wrapped his arms around the brunette’s waist and buried his face against Yosuke’s neck and shoulder - seeking comfort, not sex - Yosuke stroked his boyfriend’s hair gently. _We’ll just make the most of the time we have_.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 35 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Innuendo  
> 2) Light angst

“Wanna study after class, partner?” Yosuke turned around in his seat to grin at Souji - ‘studying’ usually meant exactly that, as Souji was too focused to let his studies slide and he was determined that Yosuke’s grades would improve, too, and they _had_ , but that didn’t mean that 'studying' wouldn’t come with a healthy dose of 'making out'. Depending on whether or not Dojima was home, it could lead to other things, and it had been a bit since they’d really had time to be alone together. Far too long for Yosuke’s taste.

He stopped as he saw Souji frowning at his phone. “‘Sup, dude?”

Souji blinked, looking up, and sighed. “Sorry. Uncle says a bunch of paperwork came in today that I have to fill out. For March.” He flipped his phone shut, then open and shut again. He fidgeted like that when he was nervous, or unhappy, and Yosuke frowned.

“Dude…” An exhale. “You don’t have to do that stuff alone, you know? I’ll bring my homework over, and we can-” He stopped when Souji shook his head. “What?”

“I’d rather-” his voice cracked a little. “I’d rather do it myself.” He was torn between lying to Yosuke and saying Dojima had ordered he do it alone, but he didn’t _want_ to lie. “I’m just going to be frustrated and…” He sighed.

“I- well, sure, of course.” Yosuke didn’t like it. _Of course I don’t like it_ \- not being able to make things better for his boyfriend, along with the ever-looming reminders that it was February, and March was just around the corner, and _I can’t help make him feel better_ \- but he knew better than to force it. _I can’t just stop giving him space when he asks for it just because we’re dating now_. 

Still, the thought hurt; as he started to pile his books into his satchel, feeling dejected, a warm hand closed gently around his wrist. Shooting his head up - _Souji’s never touchy-feely in class_ \- he saw the small smile and look of affection on his boyfriend’s face.

“Walk home with me, at least? I’m sure-” A swallow. “I’m sure I can get the paperwork done after dinner…” His eyes looked hopeful, and warmth folded itself around Yosuke’s heart. 

“Only if you teach me how to make curry this time.” A grin. “It’s not fair if Rise gets all the action.”

Souji snorted, looking around, before leaning over. “You’re the only one who’s ever gotten my action, and you know it.” 

Smirking, the brunette stood up. “As it should be. You ready to go yet, partner?”

* * *

Yosuke had to work for the next couple of afternoons - Souji was able to come spend one of the evenings at Junes with him, but he’d said he really needed to study the other - and it wasn’t until the end of the week that they had time to catch up on Yosuke’s plan to study together. It wasn’t _quite_ so bad - they’d had some time to themselves after the curry dinner and before Souji started in on his paperwork - but _it was February_ , and even if they were going skiing the next weekend he really wanted to spend as much time with Souji as he could.

Not to mention the fact that Valentine’s Day was the week after the ski trip, and Yosuke hadn’t figured anything out about it - he knew he wanted to do _something_ for Souji, but what, he had no idea. Obviously, he was hoping Souji would give him chocolates, but… well… _he’s not going to want to do anything publicly and I don’t want to force him into stereotypical roles anyway, so… I won’t get hurt if he doesn’t. I can’t let it hurt_. He didn’t need chocolates to know how much Souji loved him. 

They walked to Souji’s house together, occasionally bumping hands; Nanako wasn’t home, so Yosuke went upstairs with his school stuff while Souji made tea and rummaged through the pantry for snacks. 

In Souji’s room, Yosuke took his usual spot between the couch and the table; as he set his notebook down, his pencil bounced off his math textbook, rolled off the table, hit his leg - where he tried to catch it, to no avail - and rolled under the couch.

“Ugh.” Sticking his hand under the couch to fish for it, he sighed. _At least Souji’s room is as clean as_ -

A pause as his hand brushed a book, haphazardly pushed under the couch, as if someone had been reading it and had just put it there within easy reach. His pencil forgotten for the moment, he pulled the book out, curious. The idea that Souji might have been keeping the book out of sight didn’t cross his mind - until he saw the title. 

_The Japanese Legal System: Volume Two; huh, it’s that stupid law book Souji was studying back before Christmas_ -

A pause. 

_Volume two? No, it’s not the same book_. He blinked, realising that the bookmark was pretty close to the back of the book. 

Holding the book, a vivid flashback came to mind, unbidden, of lying on the floor with Souji - before they’d even started dating; the look in Souji’s eyes when he said, “I _don’t_ want what they want for me. I don’t, and I’m not going to do it.”

He swallowed, a sick feeling filling his stomach as he looked down at the book, remembering the talk they’d had after Christmas. 

_“You thought any more about college?” Yosuke was playing a video game while Souji cleaned his violin._

_His partner had sighed. “ Yeah, I mean… if I’m keeping my head down, I’ll have to follow through on the law thing - to start out with, at least.” He rubbed his neck. “But, you know… if I keep up with my grades and don’t lose what I’ve learned, and I reread that stuff some time before entrance exams next year, I shouldn’t have to worry about it any more.”_

_A gleam in his eye, Yosuke had leaned over, smirking. “So, no more weeks lost to frantic, triple-time studying?”_

_Souji had smiled, and shaken his head. “No more.”_

His thoughts were interrupted by a startled “Oh.” Looking up, he saw Souji standing, tea tray in hand, looking down at the book in Yosuke’s hands. Carefully, he knelt on the other side of the table, sliding the tray onto its surface. 

Yosuke held up the book. “This is a new volume.”

Souji looked at his hands. “Yeah.”

“So you’ve been staying up late, and- oh, wait, is _this_ the urgent studying you keep skipping out for?”

“Yosuke…” Souji’s voice was quiet, strained again. “I-” He started to speak, but then closed his mouth.

His boyfriend dropped the book, his hands shaking. “I get it. I do. All this ‘March prep’ has you chomping at the bit to go back, the prodigal son returns, and-”

“Yosuke!” Souji’s head snapped up, the tone of Yosuke’s voice cutting straight through his heart. “That’s _not_ what’s going-”

“Bullshit!” The brunette’s face was white, the look in his eyes was a mix of fear and anger. “You were trying to hide this, what else am I supposed to think? I thought you trusted me!”

The words - and their vehemence - caused Souji to recoil on himself, turning away from Yosuke before the shock on his face could dissolve into pain; it was enough, though, to snap Yosuke out of his anger and he suddenly realised how much of an asshole he was being. 

“Shit. Oh _god_ , Souji, I’m sorry-”

“No.” Souji’s voice was muffled, his face buried against his knees as he tried to keep his shoulders from shaking. “You’re right. I should have told you from the beginning. I fucked up.”

“No- no, dude, _dammit_ , I am so sorry-” Yosuke crawled around the table to put a hand on Souji’s shoulder, panic in his voice; Souji jerked away, and the brunette let his hand fall as he slumped forward, head dropping. “ _I’m_ wrong, not you. I shouldn’t have pushed this, I shouldn’t have accused you I should have just let it go, I’m just so-” He put his hands up to cover his face. “I’m so scared, _so_ scared, I’m terrified that March is going to come and somehow your parents are going to win you back and you’ll forget me and I’ll _lose_ you and-” 

For the first time - not counting the time with Nanako - Souji heard Yosuke sob. It was enough to still his own panic, and he uncurled, turning back to Yosuke. With shaking hands, he wrapped his arms around Yosuke, burying his face in his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

They sat like that until Yosuke cried himself out; by the time he was done, he’d wrapped his own arms around Souji’s waist, burying his face against the silver-haired boy’s shoulder. Once Yosuke's tears stopped, Souji rested his cheek against the brunette's hair. 

“Yosuke. You’re not going to lose me, no matter what happens in March. I swear it. I’m sorry- I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, but I’m not just running back to my parents intending on following the path they picked out for me. And you will _never_ lose me, I love you too much. You’re _part_ of me, Yosuke, and I’m never going to deny that again.” His voice was shaking, but his tone was fierce.

“Okay.” Yosuke’s voice was rough and he squeezed Souji’s waist a bit more tightly. “Okay. Can you tell me what’s going on, then?”

“Yeah. I don’t want to be some corporate lawyer or politician like my folks want, but I don’t _hate_ law. Of _course_ I want to play music, I want it more than anything, but… I thought maybe, just maybe, if music doesn’t pick up immediately, it might be nice to be able to have a decent job where I can… _help_ people.” He felt his boyfriend’s arms tighten around him and he sighed, running his fingers through Yosuke’s hair.

Finally, the brunette started to laugh, though it was self-mocking. “Trust me to fuck something like this up.” He pulled back, looking up; his cheeks were tear-streaked and he looked regretful. “I’m sorry- I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” Souji leaned forward, resting his forehead against Yosuke’s. “I should have told you instead of keeping it inside, but I was scared, too. Scared you’d think I wasn’t serious about music, but I _am_.”

“I know. I know you are.” He took a shaking breath, holding tightly onto Souji’s shoulders. “God, I’m such a shit boyfriend, I can’t believe-”

“ _Yosuke_.” Souji cut through his self-recrimination with the same tone Yosuke had used that day on the floodplain, when Souji had first opened up to Yosuke about his anxiety and fears. “Yosuke.” His voice was softer, now that his boyfriend was looking at him and not trying to beat himself up. “It’s okay. I promise in the future to talk to you about things like that, especially if I’m worried about them.”

“And I promise to do my best not to jump to conclusions, and listen.” Yosuke sighed, tightening his arms once more around his boyfriend before sitting back. “All right. I guess we should stu- _mmmf_ -”

He was interrupted by a warm, passionate kiss from Souji; his eyes widened with surprise, but he wasn’t going to resist. Leaning forward, he slid his hands onto Souji’s cheeks, tilting his head into the kiss, determined to show his apology as much as he’d been to say it. 

When they finally broke away - both flushed, and looking much more content - Souji smiled and ran his thumb along Yosuke’s cheekbone. “Exams aren’t until after the ski trip.”

“They’re not.”

“Which means we’ve got Sunday and a whole week to study.” Scooting in, he unfolded himself, wrapping his legs around Yosuke as the brunette knelt beside the table. 

“We do.” Placing his hands on Souji’s knees, Yosuke leaned in, running his lips along Souji’s neck. “Nanako?”

“At Mai-chan’s. Spending the night.” Souji closed his eyes.

A hum of satisfaction as he traced the skin along the edge of Souji’s collar with the tip of his tongue. “Dojima-san?”

“Going to be late, as always. Working the night shift.” With a sigh of happiness, he slid a hand up to tangle in Yosuke’s hair. 

“We should leave dinner for him. Until then-” Yosuke nipped his boyfriend’s collarbone, sucking gently on it.

Souji gasped. “Until then.” Gripping the brunette’s hip with his free hand, he shifted closer. “Stay the night tonight?”

“Absolutely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god that was so hard to write, it needed to be done but I'm so sorry boys, I'll never make you fight again...


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 36 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

If anything, their fight only served to bring Souji and Yosuke closer together; it highlighted just how little time was left - and how much was left undone and unsaid. School was almost unbearable, for all they had to pretend merely to be friends, and they spent most waking moments together that were not spent in class. Clubs were on hold so students could study, and Yosuke never worked the week before an exam, something he and Souji took full advantage of. Afternoons were spent studying, dinners were spent with Nanako - and Dojima, once or twice - and evenings were spent together, playing music or just being _together_ , each boy trying to burn the other’s presence into his memory. It felt to Yosuke that they were already burned into each other’s souls, but destiny only does so much for comfort when nights are long and lonely and you can’t even exchange emails.

Two nights before the ski trip - they had Friday and Saturday off, and would be coming home Sunday - Dojima came home early while the usual three were gathered around the kotatsu, sharing beef stew. Nanako ran to greet him, and Souji fetched him a beer and an extra plate and rice, knowing instinctively what his uncle would want.

“Thanks. Evening, Hanamura. You two have a good day at school?”

“Yes, sir.” Yosuke poured more tea for Nanako, and Dojima smiled at them. 

“We’ve been studying,” Souji added, taking his seat again. “Exams start next Monday.”

Yosuke just groaned, and Dojima chuckled. “I’ve heard you’re both doing well, though?”

“Souji is. He’s top of the class - of course.” Yosuke smiled at Souji who shook his head.

“You made top twenty last time!”

“Yeah.” Yosuke couldn’t help grinning. “Made Chie mad as fire, too.”

Dojima ate, listening to them talk; the familial warmth was a far cry from the first time they’d all been together in the house. Finally, as their chatter died down, he reached for the rice.

“You’re going skiing this weekend, right?”

Souji, sensitive to changes in his uncle’s tone of voice, raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

Shaking his head, Dojima filled his plate again. “Don’t worry, you guys can still go. I need to go into the city, though, and I’m going to take Nanako, since the house will be empty.”

Yosuke looked up, seeing his boyfriend chew his lip. His stomach sank, but he tried to be fair. “Hey, it’s okay, if we need to stick around to take care of Nanako-”

Dojima cut him off with a smile. “As much as I appreciate the thought, and as grateful as I’ve been for Souji’s help and support this past year, I don’t have a problem going on weekend trips with my daughter.” He smiled. “We’ve done it before, we’ll do it again. You boys go on, enjoy yourselves. You deserve one nice trip before school lets out.” _And Souji leaves_.

The last words were unspoken, but Yosuke heard them, anyway. He swallowed.

“Thank you.”

The detective gave him a sympathetic smile before finishing up his second helpings and standing up. “I’m gonna have a cig, you two make sure to focus in class tomorrow, all right? I know the upcoming trip is exciting, but don’t let that make you fail exams.”

“Yessir,” both boys answered, moving in unison to clean up; from the kitchen they head Dojima promising to read Nanako a storybook, so they headed upstairs to Souji’s room.

“So, I guess that means you don’t have to go back to town.” Yosuke smiled, closing the door.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Souji looked a little worried at this, and Yosuke grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the sofa. 

“Dude, it’ll be fine! Don’t worry about it yet, okay? Come on, let’s start planning for the trip!” 

A small smile on his face, Souji let Yosuke drag him over to sit.

* * *

“Wahoo! Told you I’d beat you!”

“Dude, no _fair!_ You’re cheating!”

“Jeeze, Yosuke! How do you _cheat_ at snowboarding?”

Two blurs rushed down the slope - the one in front, Chie’s trademark green, the other the red of Yosuke’s new snow parka - and as snow sprayed over the little group standing off to the side, Rise squeaked and clung to Souji’s arm. 

“How can they even go that fast? They’ll crash!” 

Souji shook his head; he was probably as worried as she was, but he knew that his partner could handle himself - or, even if he couldn’t, Souji wouldn’t make things any better by fussing like a mother hen. 

“I’m sure they can manage themselves. Do you feel comfortable going down the slope yet?”

He wasn’t precisely excited over the way things had worked out - there was only one spare snowboard, and Chie had claimed it before they’d realized, and while she’d been willing to give it up to Souji, he’d refused - after all, it really suited her more than him, and he already knew how to ski. Rise and Naoto had never skied before, so he and Kanji worked on teaching them as Yukiko and Teddie - both either more experienced or just more daredevil - spent their time demonstrating all of the things not to do for the two inexperienced girls.

At least Rise was getting the hang of things. There’d be no chance for him and Yosuke to hit the slopes together today, but maybe tomorrow… And Kanji was enjoying his time teaching Naoto, and Rise was generous with her time; he knew she’d seen him watching Yosuke, and if they didn’t get some time together the next day, it wouldn’t be her fault. And, to be fair, he didn’t mind spending time with the others - no matter how he’d felt about them all when they first met, they were _friends_ now. 

He just missed Yosuke the most.

* * *

By sunset, the group had gathered at the bottom of the slope, all in various stages of exhaustion; Chie was practically wilting over Yukiko’s arm, swearing she’d never been so hungry before. They all put away their snow equipment, and headed inside.

Dinner was served community-style in the lodge they’d found - luckily, a place where ‘cheaper’ only meant fewer frills and more self-service, not lower quality - and once they’d all eaten their fill, they headed up to their suite. It was a large room - with a fireplace - for them to hang out and relax in, with two smaller rooms to either side, one for boys and one for girls. 

Settling in, nobody said anything when Souji and Yosuke sat close, closer than friends normally would; they also didn’t complain about Naoto and Kanji ending up next to each other, or Chie and Yukiko. Rise took it on herself to host the ‘party’, calling for ghost stories; Souji and Chie both paled at this. 

“Anybody want hot cocoa?” Souji stood quickly as his boyfriend blinked up at him and smirked. 

Before Yosuke could respond, Chie shot out of her seat, as well. “I’ll help!” 

The group laughed, and Yukiko launched into a horrifying tale as the two hurried into the kitchenette, both with their hands over their ears.

* * *

After several gruesome anecdotes - which Souji and Chie were unable to completely escape, to their despair - the group finally wound down; it was still relatively early, but it had been a _long_ day on the slopes and everyone was exhausted. Souji perhaps less so than the others, since he’d spent most of his day standing still trying to teach Rise; he stayed behind to clean up the cocoa mess and snack wrappers, and Yosuke, of course, stayed with him, flopping down on the rug in front of the fireplace, his back to the table. 

When the silver-haired boy returned from his second trip carrying cocoa mugs, Yosuke grabbed his pants’ leg and pulled him down to the floor next to him.

“Pocky wrappers can wait,” he mumbled, already half-asleep. “Won’t kill the others to help tomorrow.”

Smiling softly, Souji wrapped his arm around Yosuke, who nuzzled against his shoulder. “You’re exhausted. You should go to bed.”

“And miss this chance? Hell no, partner. I promised you snuggles in front of the fireplace.” His eyes were liquid amber as he looked up at Souji softly, _lovingly_ , and Souji couldn’t resist leaning over for a kiss. 

“That you did. It’s wonderful.” 

“Innit, tho?” A content sigh as he snuggled closer. “You looked good out there today.”

“Pfft.” Souji rested his chin on Yosuke’s head, breathing in his boyfriend’s scent as he closed his eyes. “Please, I spent most of my time in one place. You were the one tearing up the slopes. And looking amazing.”

“Flatterer.” He tightened his hands in Souji’s sweater, contentedly. “Rise looked like she was getting the hang of it. Think we could hang out some, tomorrow?”

“Of course.” Souji snuggled down. “I won’t take Chie’s snowboard, though, so it’ll be a little uneven - skis go faster than snowboards, don’t they?” 

“Only if they’re racing.” A grin. “Want to race?”

“Mmm. Not really.” A quiet chuckle. “Maybe you’ll convince me tomorrow, but I don’t really feel the need to try to beat you down the slope, or be beaten. I just want to spend time with you.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Yosuke reached across their comfortable nest, twining their fingers together. They were quiet for a bit. 

“Of course.” The brunette couldn’t help grinning up at his boyfriend. “It could be fun, right?”

Sighing, Souji chuckled. “Partner, what am I going to do with you?”

“Kiss me, I hope.” 

Smiling, Souji complied.

* * *

The next morning the group made it out later than expected - everyone sore from the day before - but no one was too sore to hit the slopes again. Souji spent the morning getting Rise back to speed, but after they’d all eaten lunch, Yukiko skied up to them. 

“I’ll help Rise-chan, Souji-kun! It’s no fair if we all stay paired up like we were yesterday, we’re all here to have fun, right?”

Looking surprised but grateful, Souji turned to see what Teddie was doing just in time to see Chie challenge the blonde boy to a race; Yosuke, who’d been standing next to her, turned to grin at him before sliding downwards, stopping next to his boyfriend.

“Shall we?”

With a smile like the sun, Souji nodded, already heading for the ski lift.

* * *

Their first couple of trips down were leisurely; both kept a pace that the other would be able to match so that they could shout back and forth as they went, enjoying the trip down. The next one got a little more heated, as they started to get into the speed and the exhilaration; the fourth one was when Yosuke proposed a race.

“I don’t know.” Souji looked uncertain, eyeing the steep slope; they weren’t on the worst hill, but they’d moved on from the bunny slopes, and he hadn’t been lying the night before when he said he really had no desire to race. Still, his cheeks were pink from the exertion, and there was no denying that he enjoyed the feel of skiing as fast as his skill would allow. Between that and his boyfriend’s puppy-dog eyes, he finally nodded. 

“All right, all right. One race, and it’s for fun. I’m not trying to beat you, I just want to see how we do on the way down.”

“All right! That’s my partner!” Yosuke grinned, slapping his shoulder; they exchanged a quick kiss before pulling down their goggles and adjusting their hats and scarves. Yosuke gave the countdown, and was off down the slope with a “ _Waaahooo!_ ” before Souji could start - not that it really bothered the silver-haired boy. 

Pushing off, he caught up to Yosuke relatively quickly; skis might be faster than snowboards, but the two were pretty well paced, and eventually they were both flying down the slope - not quite as fast as Yukiko and Teddie had been, but fast enough. They wove in and out of each other’s paths a few times, though Souji was wary of this sort of thing, given their speed. Still, Souji was having as much fun as Yosuke, and as it seemed to happen everywhere, his eyes stayed on his partner’s form, even when the world was rushing around them. 

Which was why neither of them saw the idling snowmobile in the middle of their path. 

To be fair, vehicles weren’t allowed on the ski slopes - for safety reasons - so neither of them had been expecting it. Souji saw it just in time to jerk his skis sideways, skidding to a stop; he managed to catch himself before he overbalanced, but was relatively certain he’d twisted his ankle in the process. 

Yosuke wasn’t so lucky. He never saw the snowmobile, instead hitting it straight on; the impact sent him flying off the trail, and the sickening crunch was audible as Souji stood, trying to get his balance. Souji went white at the sound, stripping off his skis as he stumbled across the slope - ignoring the pain in his ankle - as he tried to get to the place Yosuke had been thrown. 

For a second, he was able to convince himself that the red in the snow was just Yosuke’s parka; but fleece and rayon don't cause stains, and time seemed to slow as he grabbed for his cell phone, praying for a signal even as he gasped Yosuke’s name.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 37 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger last chapter ~ <3

He was in luck.

After gasping out the situation to an emergency dispatcher - and somehow having enough presence of mind to call Chie, as well - everything afterwards was a blur. He didn’t remember stripping out of his coat, trying to keep Yosuke - who wasn’t moving, not even to groan - warm; he didn’t remember his friends rushing to them a good ten minutes before the emergency personnel found them, tracking Souji’s cell signal. He didn’t remember Naoto taking cool, calm control of the scene, as only Naoto could. He didn’t remember his tears, or Chie’s, or Rise’s, or Yukiko’s. He didn’t remember pleading for someone to help Yosuke, or begging them not to take Yosuke from him, or being lifted onto a stretcher as well - his ankle too injured for him to make down the slope on his own. He only remembered the feel of Yosuke’s icy-cold hand in his own, and the frozen pain in his heart. 

It wasn’t until they’d both been loaded into the ambulance - Yosuke on a stretcher, Souji leaning on the EMT’s shoulder - and a woman Dojima’s age shone a small flashlight into his eyes that the strange time bubble he’d been in burst. Suddenly, he was all too aware of his surroundings, with Yosuke’s still form on the stretcher beside him. The woman studied him, and he winced away from the light, and she looked relieved. “Acute stress reaction, no concussion. Sprained ankle, possible dislocation.”

Souji looked over at Yosuke, realizing for the first time that he was hooked up to a small machine that was beeping away; in lieu of any movement from his boyfriend, it was the only thing assuring him that Yosuke was still alive. 

“Is he-?”

He tried to speak, but his lips were too numb, his throat too raw from the cold and his tears; he coughed, and the woman gave him a cup of water, and he tried again.

“Is he okay?” A pause. “That’s a stupid question. Is he going to be okay?”

“It’s too early to say.” The words were her last as she joined the other paramedic as they worked on cutting away shreds of jacket, trying to get some sort of idea of what kind of injuries Yosuke had; Souji felt bile rise in his throat and he had to look away. Everything fuzzed out for a time, and suddenly he realised the ambulance had stopped, and Yosuke’s stretcher was being lifted out, and there was a warm hand at his elbow to help him out into a waiting wheelchair. All he could focus on was the white blur that he knew, instinctively, was his boyfriend’s stretcher; he thought that his friends were there, but he couldn’t tell, and he couldn’t focus enough to check.

The world blurred again, but this time there was a small pocket of steadiness; he realized in the back of his mind that Izanagi was helping calm him down, at least so that he wouldn’t go off into some sort of panic attack. He couldn’t _talk_ to Izanagi, but he really didn’t want to talk to _anyone_ right now; he was just grateful to the small anchor point he had keeping him from being swept away in panic and despair.

* * *

When things _slowed down_ again, he realized he was sitting in a hospital bed, and he was being given some sort of shot, and a male nurse held down his arms as another started to rotate his ankle and _oh my god nothing had ever hurt so badly before_ and that counted anything they’d been through inside the Shadow world, but then suddenly his whole body popped - or that’s how it felt - and the nurse let go of his arms and he realised he’d been yelling, and his throat was raw, and now he just wanted to lay back against the pillows. 

A nurse handed him something to drink while another one bound and splinted his ankle; things were finally coming back into focus (he’d find out later that they’d given him a xanax to help with the panic), and when he looked around, he saw the rest of the group outside the door, watching with white faces. 

“Yosuke?” He looked at the nurse beside him, who shook her head.

“Your friend is in surgery now. We won’t know what’s going on until the doctor comes out.” 

He swallowed, nodding slowly. “Can I go to my friends?”

She looked alarmed. “Most certainly not! You shouldn’t move from this bed at least until tomorrow, when we can be sure that there’s no further damage to your ankle.” His head shot up, and at the look on his face, she relented. “They can come in, and once your friend is out of surgery - _if_ the doctor agrees - you can go visit him. _In a wheelchair_.”

The other nurses had cleared out of the room by now, and she waved his friends in; they flocked to his bed, everyone still shaken and upset. Teddie started to wail something about Sensei, but Kanji clamped a hand over his mouth and Naoto - blessed, calm Naoto, who looked as frightened as the others - shook her head. 

“We need to let Souji-senpai rest. The nurse was nice enough to let us stay, but if we stress senpai out they’ll make us leave.” She took a seat next to the bed, and the others followed suit; Rise leaned against his side, with Yukiko and Chie sitting together at the foot of the bed. Teddie sat on the other side of the bed, and Kanji sat on the floor next to Naoto’s chair. 

Rise was a comfort - she didn’t say anything, just put her head against his arm, her arm through his, and it was a comfort he didn’t realize he needed until it was there. He didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to talk about the accident - _it’s all my fault, I should have been watching, I could have warned Yosuke_ \- he didn’t want to _think_. 

Of course, _not thinking_ just meant he started thinking about Yosuke. Every smile, every glance, every touch and kiss and hug and every word tripped through his memory even as he clenched his fists in the blankets; even the times they’d interacted back _before_ \- back when he ‘hated’ Yosuke. _I never_ hated _him I was just so, so scared, so bitter, so lonely_. He could count them all like jewels, precious beads of memory, and he found it laughable - or it would be, if it wasn’t so terrifying - that he’d ever though these emotions _shallow_ , that his feelings for Yosuke would be, _could be_ transient. 

Yosuke was half of his soul, the sun to his moon, the light to his shadow, he was water and oxygen and Souji would never, ever, be able to live without him. _Why did I only figure this out now when I don’t even know if_ -

He stopped, refusing to take the thought further; shuddering, he realised that his cheeks were wet and tears were dripping onto the bed as Rise just hugged his arm harder. With a choked sob, he tried to wipe his face, but his hands were wet and he was just looking for the tissues when there was a small commotion outside his door, and Dojima burst in. 

“Souji!” 

The panic in his uncle’s voice was every bit as bad as it had been when Nanako was sick, and Souji jerked his head up; the sight seemed to open the floodgates as the silver-haired boy sobbed, holding out his arms, and the others scattered to give Dojima a clear path as he hurried to the bed, wrapping his nephew in a tight embrace.

“Thank god you’re all right, Souji.” Dojima’s voice was shaking, and Souji tightened his hands in his uncle’s shirt as he buried his face in his shoulder, sobbing; if Naoto - sitting closest - heard the mumbled word “ _dad_ ”, her face never betrayed it. 

Finally, the two pulled apart; Souji was still crying, but he seemed calmer, and if Dojima’s eyes were red, he wasn’t quite as panicked as he was when he arrived. Turning, the detective nodded to Naoto.

“Thanks for the call, Shirogane.”

“Of course, Dojima-san.” She nodded. “I’m sorry if I interrupted anything.”

He shook his head, sitting down on Souji’s bed. “No, we’d just gotten back. That reminds me, I need to call Nanako, let her know that her brother is okay.”

* * *

It was another half-hour before a knock sounded at the door and a doctor came in. 

“Does Yosuke Hanamura have any relatives here? We’ve contacted his family, but they’re out of town and it will be some time before their train will arrive back in Inaba.”

The group looked at one another; it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Souji’s voice, faint, broke the silence as he gripped his uncle’s arm. 

“I’m his b-boyfriend. We’re all his friends. Is- is he okay?”

The doctor looked hesitant for a moment, but Dojima’s nod seemed to reassure him, and he nodded. 

“He’s out of surgery. He suffered a concussion, dislocated collarbone, numerous shallow wounds and lacerations around the head and shoulders, minor hypothermia, and several puncture wounds to the torso from tree limbs when he was thrown off the path. He’s resting now, but he’s conscious and his first question was about you.” He looked at Souji, who was staring, wide-eyed, having slapped a hand over his mouth to mask his shuddering gasp of relief. 

“He’s - he’s okay? But… all that blood...” Souji seemed to have trouble wrapping his mind around this fact.

“Well, he’s still injured, and we’ll want to keep him under observation for several days at the least, but yes. Even shallow head wounds bleed profusely, and all of the puncture wounds missed internal organs. I don’t like the word ‘miracle’, but Yosuke was certainly a very lucky young man, and should come out of this ordeal with scars and not much more.”

“Oh, thank- thank _god_ …” Souji was sobbing now, hands over his face. “Can I see him? Please? I have to see him…” He trailed off, and the doctor looked hesitant, but then nodded.

“I’ll bring around a wheelchair. I’d really rather everyone not go, though.” He looked around the room; everyone nodded, their faces already showing their relief.

“It’s okay, Souji-kun! You should go!” Chie gave him a smile. “You know that’ll make Yosuke the happiest.”

* * *

Souji had time to wash his face while the doctor brought around a wheelchair; Dojima helped him into it, then proceeded to wheel him down the hall to Yosuke’s room. The brunette was laying back in the bed, a bandage around his head, a black eye, and various other braces and bandages; the sight smote Souji’s heart, but the amber eyes staring at him - open, and _conscious_ \- were worth all the riches in the world. 

“Hey partner,” Yosuke croaked, holding out a hand as Dojima wheeled Souji in. 

Souji immediate grabbed his proffered hand; his voice shaking, all he could say was “Yosuke.” Dojima took pity on him as he helped him from the wheelchair to sit on the bed.

“The nurse will come get you when it’s time for you to go back to your room; I need to go back to Nanako. I’ll be back in the morning to pick you up.” Leaning over, he hugged Souji carefully. “Glad to see you’re okay, Hanamura. I’ll leave safety lectures until later.”

“Thank you, sir.” Yosuke’s voice was rusty, and he winced at the pain in Souji’s eyes at his uncle’s ‘safety’ comment, and when the door closed, he reached for his boyfriend. 

“Souji… I’m so glad you’re okay…” His voice was choked and Souji just closed his eyes, burying his face against Yosuke’s uninjured shoulder. 

“ _I’m_ fine. _You’re_ the one that almost died… oh god, Yosuke, I’ve never been so terrified in my life…if I’d _lost_ you…” He was shaking now, sobbing, and Yosuke reached up with a bandaged hand to stroke his hair.

“Souji, it’s okay… I didn’t die, I’m here. And you’re okay, right? They told me you had a dislocated ankle?”

“Relocated, now.” Souji pulled back just a little, to look into Yosuke’s eyes, then pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. “I’m okay, now that you’re okay I don’t care about anything, I could have lost a leg and I wouldn’t care as long as you’re here.” 

“I’m glad you didn’t.” Yosuke chuckled quietly, putting his forehead to Souji’s. “I’m sorry I scared you… jeeze, partner, you’re shaking. Hang on.” Scooting over, Yosuke forced Souji to sit next to him. “There.” Souji leaned back against the pillows, and Yosuke laid his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “We’re both okay, and that’s all that matters.”

“ _You’re_ okay, that’s what matters,” Souji mumbled, closing his eyes.

* * *

An hour later, the door opened quietly; the doctor led Yosuke’s parents in, who both smiled faintly at the sight of Souji and Yosuke, asleep next to one another on the bed, hands clasped and heads resting together. It wasn’t until the nurse moved to take Yosuke’s temperature that the boys woke; blinking, Souji saw Yosuke’s parents, and his face blanched.

“M-mr. Hanamura, Mrs. Hanamura…” He swallowed, sitting up. “I’m so sorry…”

They all turned to look at him, confused. 

“What’s wrong, Souji-kun?” Yosuke’s mother walked over. “From what I hear, your quick thinking saved Yosuke’s life - you got the medics out there in time, and your coat was enough to keep him from full-onset hypothermia.”

With a flush, Souji shook his head. “I don’t know about that, I just know I was the one who agreed to race, and I didn’t keep my eyes on the trail, and I didn’t see the obstacle, and-”

“Souji.” Yosuke closed his hands over his boyfriend’s. “I love you, but I don’t care how good you think you are, how do you think you could have stopped me?”

“I-” Souji shut his mouth. “I could have yelled, or-”

“And I would have wondered what was happening to you and focused on that. Besides, you can what-if all day but the fact of the matter is that the thing shouldn’t have been there, and when it was, you saved my life.” He squeezed Souji’s hand, causing the silver-haired boy to swallow. 

“O-okay.” A nod. “I just wish…”

“Souji. I love you. Just rest.” Yosuke squeezed his hand again, and his look of love finally shut the silver-haired boy up, as he nodded, mutely. 

“You should be back in your room, anyway.” The nurse looked at him. “Now that you two have had your time, it’s time for Seta-kun to rest. Hanamura-kun needs some time with his parents, too.”

Reluctantly, Souji let her help him back into the wheelchair; he gave Yosuke’s hand one last squeeze, and while he would rather have kissed the brunette goodnight, he made do with hand and eye contact.

“You can come visit Hanamura-kun tomorrow before you check out.”

“It’s a date.” Souji smiled softly at Yosuke, who - although already looking exhausted - returned it with a small smile of his own.

“Sleep well, partner.”

“You too, Yosuke.”


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 38 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

The painkillers kept Souji asleep for a good part of the morning, and he only woke up for breakfast; the nurse who attended him, however, was cheerful and talkative. Apparently, the nurse who’d been with Yosuke’s parents had thought Souji and Yosuke were just _so cute_ and now the entire floor knew and she was more than happy to let him know that Hanamura-kun had eaten a full breakfast and was resting well and there were _no_ complications with his concussion and if they wanted to visit after Seta-kun was done eating, well, she saw no reason why not!

He was grateful for the commentary; the visit turned out to be a little later than after breakfast - he had to get help with a shower, and the PT nurse wanted him learning to use crutches before he left the hospital - but eventually he made it to Yosuke’s room.

Another nurse was just helping the brunette change some of his bandages; Souji took a quiet seat, observing the process - _just in case I need to help later. None of this should have happened but I’ll be damned if I’m not there to help him take care of himself after this_. Remembering his boyfriend’s cold at New Years, he smiled ever-so-slightly. _I want to always be there to help take of him when he needs it_.

Once the nurse was done, she left Yosuke with a fresh pitcher of water, winking at Souji as she wheeled her cart out of the room; the silver-haired boy smiled at Yosuke, limping over to take a seat on the bed.

“Morning.” Silver eyes met amber and they exchanged a soft kiss.

“Morning.” Yosuke smiled, his cheeks a bit pink. “They said my concussion is gone, apparently it wasn’t too bad. I need to watch out for dizziness for the next few weeks, but otherwise…” A light shrug turned into a groan as he jostled his collarbone. “ _That_ still hurts like shit, though.”

“I’m really sorry.” Souji’s face fell as he eyed Yosuke with concern. “Can I get you anything?”

“Nah- well, actually, could you fill my water cup?” He eyed the jug on the side table. “Bending and leaning hurts like a _bitch_ right now.”

“Of course.” It was a bit awkward for Souji, with his injured ankle, but he managed it without spilling, and then settled back onto the side of the bed.

“You’re going home today, right?” Yosuke looked jealous. “They told me I have to stay for another three days, and they don’t want me going back to school until exams are over.”

Souji frowned. “Can you retake them later?”

“That’s why I’m not really excited about it - I’ll _have_ to if I want to make it to third year. I’m not letting you get ahead of me, partner!” 

Souji gave a soft, sad smile, putting his hand over his boyfriend’s. “I’ll help you study as long as I can, and you know I’ll come by almost every day after school.” 

“Thanks.” Yosuke closed his eyes, leaning against Souji’s shoulder. “I’m sorry the trip was a bust, I guess we were just destined never to have our full ski trip.” 

“Don’t be.” Souji kissed his forehead, over the bandage. “All I ever wanted was to spend time with you, and while I’d rather spend time with you anywhere _other_ than a hospital, at least we’re together, right? I’ll bring games and stuff when I come visit, so we can do stuff while you’re here.” A pause as he chewed his lip. “How are your hands, will your shoulder injury give you any problems playing?”

Smiling, Yosuke shook his head. “I asked about that, the doctor said I might need to do some warm-ups for the next few months to make sure I don’t pull anything, but otherwise I’ll be fine.”

“ _Good_.”

* * *

Their injuries were such that they couldn’t be as affectionate as they wanted - Souji could tell from Yosuke’s face that it was bothering the brunette as much as it was bothering him - but there wasn’t anything they could do about it. This just led to a lot more hand-holding, knee-stroking, and gentle kisses; they didn’t want to go _too_ far, anyway, given that they were in the hospital. 

Of course, the cheerful nurse came in just as they were exchanging a soft kiss; she giggled as they pulled away, blushing, and she grinned at Souji.

“Seta-kun, your uncle is here. It’s time for you to head home, and you’ll need to make sure you practice using your crutches today before resting this afternoon. You almost suffered from hypothermia yourself, you know, and your body’s been through a lot of stress.” 

“Yes ma’am.” When he looked back at Yosuke with a reluctant smile, his boyfriend squeezed his hand.

“I’m feeling kinda tired anyway, partner… I’ll sleep, and I can still text you, you know?”

“Yeah.” Souji smiled, his hand lingering in the squeeze, before awkwardly hopping towards the door on crutches he was only half-familiar with. “I’ll text you when I get home, okay?”

* * *

Nanako was waiting impatiently when they got home; Dojima had already warned her about throwing herself at Souji, so once he was inside and seated on the couch, she bounced down next to him and buried her face against his chest, holding onto him almost as tightly as his uncle had.

“Big bro, I was so scared!”

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. “I was, too. But I’m okay now, and so is Yosuke.”

Looking up with wide eyes, she nodded. “That’s what dad said. He also said I could go visit Yosuke-nii the next time you go if it’s okay.”

“Of course it’s okay. I know he’d love to see you.” 

They sat like that for a while, and eventually they both fell asleep on the sofa; Souji spent the rest of the afternoon, once he’d woken up, practicing with his crutches and texting Yosuke. His uncle brought home takeout, refusing to even think about letting Souji cook.

* * *

School started back the next day, and luckily Chie and Naoto were there to help him handle all the students that wanted to know everything about what had happened, especially how Yosuke was doing now. More than a few girls (and some guys) managed to turn it into a “get-well chocolates for Valentine’s day” discussion, which didn’t do much for Souji’s peace of mind, either.

 _Valentine’s day_. That was a whole new bundle of nerves, even as he ignored the fact that the holiday had been traditionally for girls to declare their feelings for boys - after all, it wasn’t like his and Yosuke’s relationship was exactly _traditional_ , and it wasn’t like more and more couples weren’t celebrating it together, taking cues from the western version of the holiday. Of course, he wanted to do something for Yosuke, but what? To top it all off, he wasn’t too happy with first-hand evidence of how many people were planning to bring _his boyfriend_ chocolates and gifts. Was he jealous? Of course he was. Even knowing that it was at his request that nobody knew about him and Yosuke, he was still jealous.

Still, the ski-trip accident had changed a few things for Souji, and he was determined to make the last holiday they had before March memorable - for the _right_ reasons, this time. He made up his mind halfway through the week - the day Yosuke went home, so he had a bit of an excuse to let his boyfriend settle back in at home while he did some research on the internet - and with Yosuke not working at Junes for the time being, Souji was able to go shopping without worrying about anyone caring about what was in his shopping cart. He was going to change his plans a little from what he’d planned for late March, but that was okay.

* * *

Souji was surprised to find a handful of chocolates in his shoe locker when he got to school on Valentine’s day; looking bemused, he put them into his bag, planning to ask the others later exactly how one was supposed to refuse chocolates that weren’t handed over directly. He got to his seat without much trouble otherwise, although the atmosphere at school was - as expected - both excited and nervous.

Yosuke’s father was going to drive him to school, so Souji hadn’t waited for him; he considered it a blessing in disguise, because it removed at least some of the temptation to go ahead and hand his presents over to Yosuke on the way to school, but that would be a cop out, and Souji didn’t _want_ that.

Even if his nerves were wrecked. 

He was lucky, in a way, that Yosuke didn’t make it into class until just after the bell rang - he’d had to check in with the headmaster, after all. He was even _luckier_ when Kashiwagi came over at lunch (Souji almost suspected her of planning to drop off chocolates on Yosuke’s desk, too, but they avoided _that_ catastrophe) to discuss the schedule for Yosuke to make up his exams. 

Yosuke, meanwhile, was glad to be back in school, but some small part of him almost wished he’d been able to avoid Valentine’s day. If he’d been able to celebrate with Souji, quietly, it would have been one thing; now he just had to worry about nerves along with all the refusals he knew he was going to have to make, all while _not_ giving away _who_ his Valentine actually _was_. He’d had a few chocolates left in his desk and shoe locker; he saw that Souji had, too, and it made him a little less than happy, though he also saw the confusion on Souji’s face as he slowly put the treats away, which made it a little better. 

He didn’t expect Souji to make any sort of public gesture - sure, there’d been the nurses at the hospital, and from what the others said anyone at the ski lodge would have been able to tell the were a couple by Souji’s behaviour during the accident - but that was one thing. Nobody really knew them, there, so it wasn’t as big a deal. And that was okay. He just had to get through school, first.

* * *

Finally, school was over for the day; when the bell rang, they both realized that things were going to get awkward. A whole gaggle of students flocked around Yosuke’s desk - and, by proximity, Souji’s, as well as the poor guy who sat in front of Yosuke - as one by one, they tried to press forward with boxes of chocolate. 

Souji sat back, heart in his stomach, listening to Yosuke trying, at first, to refuse each person individually; he was feeling a _lot_ more jealous than he’d expected, and he knew he was going to have to get that under control before he did _anything_. Just as he’d finally managed to calm his nerves with a deep breath, Yosuke held up a hand. 

“Guys, look, I’m really sorry, but I just can’t accept chocolates from anybody other than my significant other.” 

_Oh shit_. Souji realized in the next five seconds of stunned silence that the stakes had just rocketed - everybody knew Yosuke was ‘off the market’, of course, but the fact that it was serious enough that he was unequivocally refusing all chocolates meant it was _serious_ , and suddenly his nerves kicked in again, full force, but-

The sudden gasp and flurry of questions - mostly directed at Yosuke, wheedles for him to tell them _who it was_ , come on Yosuke-kun, at least let us know - had just reached its peak when Souji, finally _tired of it all_ , reached into his bag, bringing out a white box, the size of a CD case, but thicker, wrapped with a silver ribbon. Clearing his throat, he tapped Yosuke’s shoulder, raising his voice loudly enough to be heard as he said his boyfriend’s name. 

The crowd immediately grew silent - it was so unexpected for Souji to speak, especially at times like this, and the look of surprise on Yosuke’s face warned everybody that, well - _this was something_. Yosuke turned around, and - with a scarlet face - Souji held out the box. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

For a split second, Yosuke _looked_ at him, his amber eyes saying what his lips could not - “ _are you sure about this_ ” - and Souji nodded, ever-so-slightly. With that nod, a sunbeam smile broke across Yosuke’s face, and he took the box. 

“Thanks, partner.”

There was another two, maybe three seconds of stunned silence before the group erupted; reactions ran the gamut from despairing disbelief to excited surprise, and they realized that if they didn’t get out _now_ , they’d never get home - and while they hadn’t actively made plans, both boys had a vested interest in having time alone together. Luckily, Chie and Yukiko were still nearby; they helped run interference for the two as they made their escape, hampered by Souji’s crutches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has nothing to do with this chapter but I'd like to share [this picture plate](http://ohlookashinystormtrooper.tumblr.com/post/146026459142/i-love-finding-odds-and-ends-i-picked-up-on-past) I picked up back in Japan years ago. Boyfriends in kimono!


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 39 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh the fluff. And the innuendo.

Yosuke’s father was waiting outside with the car; he’d already planned to give Souji a ride home, as well. It took a little convincing, but they finally got him to agree to drop them both at Souji’s house - it wasn’t _too_ far from the Hanamura household, and Souji promised he’d see Yosuke home, or his uncle would drive him. Maybe Mr. Hanamura saw the two in the back seat, holding hands, maybe he didn’t; either way, he eventually agreed.

Once they were inside, Nanako hurried up to them. “Guess what today is!”

Of course, Yosuke knew what day it was - _I just received the most amazing gift ever_ \- but he shook his head. “What?”

“Valentine’s day!” She giggled, holding out two red-and-pink bags with bows. “I love you, Big Bro! I love you, Yosuke-nii!”

Yosuke’s words caught in his mouth as he blinked, taking bag as he leaned down to hug the little girl; Souji had the same thought, and they ended up in a three-way hug; something that in no way bothered any of them. 

“We love you, too, Nanako.” Souji ruffled her hair lightly, and she kissed his cheek, then Yosuke’s. “Yosuke and I are going to go hang out upstairs for a bit, are you going to be okay down here?”

“Uh-huh!” A wide smile. “I gotta go give chocolates to Mai-chan, and Mi-kun, and, uh…” She fidgeted. “Can you give chocolates to the others for me tomorrow? Rise and Chie and Yukiko and Kanji and Naoto and Teddie?”

“Absolutely.” Souji smiled. “Give them to me after dinner and I’ll put them in my school bag.”

“Okay!”

* * *

When they got upstairs - no easy feat, as Souji was only finally learning to navigate the stairs with his crutches - they’d just gotten the door closed when Yosuke wrapped his arms around Souji’s waist from behind, carefully so as not to overbalance his boyfriend. 

“Thank you, partner…” His voice was a little choked, and Souji flushed as he laid his arms on top of Yosuke’s. 

“You don’t need to thank me, I was being a jealous boyfriend.” Tugging, he led Yosuke over to the couch. 

The brunette smirked. “I don’t mind _that_ , either. I’ve been ready for everyone to know for months. You’re the only one for me, Souji.”

Smiling, Souji nuzzled Yosuke’s hair - the brunette had been able to lay off a lot of the bandages, although he’d had to have some of his hair cut to get at cuts and wounds - and it was shorter, and fuzzier, and soft, and Souji was just so glad to have his boyfriend back with him.

“I know.” His voice was soft. “I’m sorry you had to wait.”

“Don’t say that.” Yosuke slipped an arm around his waist. “It made sense. I still don’t know why- well, if you were ready, that’s all that matters. And if your parents ever somehow find out or give you hell, I’ll come and fight them.”

Souji gave a small smile. “I know. I don’t want to talk about them right now, though. I just want to talk about you, and me, and how much I love you.”

“Heh. Okay, partner, I gotta say, that sounds good…” Closing his eyes, Yosuke leaned into Souji, absorbing his scent and warmth. “It’s been too long since we could sit like this.”

“Yeah.” Souji’s voice was muffled, and it felt like he was moving around an awful lot for someone who was just cuddling; confused, Yosuke cracked an eye open only to see Souji placing another box on his knee. Opening both eyes, he looked up, only to have the question on his lips change as he saw just how nervous Souji was.

“Uh, partner? What’s this?”

“Just, um. Something I was gonna give you next month, but… well, I didn’t want to wait any more. It’s, um… not much, but I hope you’ll like it.”

Blinking, Yosuke looked at it, then up at Souji, who was pink and flustered and embarrassed. _Okaaaay_ … a million thoughts crossed his mind, but he realized that it was unnecessary as he had the thing _right there_. He smiled, just to allay some of Souji’s nervousness. “You didn’t need to do anything else, partner, but- _oh shit_.”

He’d been opening the box as he spoke, and tucked inside a fold of black foam was a dark grey ring - titanium, from the looks of it, he’d been admiring a bunch of titanium and tungsten rings in a rock-style clothing catalogue a few months back - with a band of some red-orange stone shimmering through the centre, and black carbon cords framing it. It was thick, but not too clunky, almost matched his favourite earphones, and really… it was perfect.

“ _Woah_.” 

Souji looked at him, anxiously. “Well, you said- well you said that you were afraid you’d lose me, and I’d go back to my parents and forget you, and I found this when I was in the city and it just looked like it’d been made for you, so I got it and I guess I’ve always wanted to let you know I wasn’t going to forget you, _ever_ , like even if you wanted me to I don’t think I could, so I guess- I guess, it’s like a promise ring?”

He was bright red by this point, rubbing the back of his neck, and his words were almost coming at a whisper, all jumbled together, and it was all Yosuke could do to not throw his collarbone out of alignment again as he all-but threw himself onto his boyfriend, arm around his waist and face against his shoulder. 

“Oh my god Souji _I love you so much_ … I can’t even, this is amazing.” A small part of him was dismayed at being beaten to the punch with something like this but… well, it just meant he’d have to pull out the stops in the future, a resolve that would stick with him even when he forgot the exact reason behind it. He slipped the ring on to the middle finger of his right hand, where it fit perfectly - he figured neither of them were ready for the questions that would come with the ring finger.

He felt, rather than saw, Souji sigh in relief, relaxing into the embrace as he wrapped his arms carefully around Yosuke.

“I love you, too. I really love you… Happy Valentine’s Day, _partner_.” 

The voice with which he exhaled the word ‘partner’ shot straight through Yosuke and he shuddered, wrapping his good hand in Souji’s shirt as he leaned into a long, deep kiss. Given their current state of injury, though, Yosuke had to push him back, all-too-soon.

“S-sorry,” he mumbled. “But dude, we should probably back it off, I hate it but I can’t-”

He was interrupted by Souji leaning over to kiss his neck. “ _You_ don’t have to.” His pink cheeks belying his confidence, he ran a hand down Yosuke’s shirt. “Today’s Valentine’s Day, the day for me to show you how I feel about you, you know?”

 _I… holy shit, I have the best boyfriend ever._ Still, he shook his head. “Dude… you’re not a girl. I’ve never, ever asked you to act like a girl, or feel like that’s your part in our relationship… you don’t have to do- _mmmf_ ” _Okay wow I don’t know where he picked up that habit but it’s as hot as it is frustrating_.

Souji, of course, had kissed him, cutting off his protest. When they finally broke away, the silver-haired boy smiled.

“No, and that’s not why I’m doing it. I’m doing it because, since the beginning, you’ve been supporting me. When I didn’t want anything to do with you, you still dragged me kicking and screaming into the light; when we were friends you supported me the entire time, even when you saw the cesspool of my shadow. You loved me, and even when you loved me, you took things at _my_ pace. You’ve spent the entire time showing me how you feel; now I just want to repay the favour.” 

Closing his eyes, Yosuke slid a hand around the back of Souji’s neck. “ _Dammit_ , Souji, you really are something…” His voice was hot against his boyfriend’s lips as they leaned into another long, deep kiss.

* * *

Some time later, Yosuke lay back on the couch, snuggled up to Souji’s shoulder, and Souji’s forehead was against his, and if time could have stopped right then and there he probably would have been okay with the rest of eternity.

Still, it was Valentine’s Day, and he’d _meant_ what he’d said - it wasn’t just Souji’s day. Rousing himself, he pushed himself into an upright position, which elicited a small noise of complaint from his boyfriend.

“Hey, where’s the guitar I left over here?” He’d let Souji borrow his acoustic for as long as he wanted, to learn and practice. 

“Eh?” Souji blinked, rubbing his eyes before looking around the room. “The usual spot.” He pointed. “Why?”

“Can I use it for a few?”

Raising an eyebrow, Souji’s expression was dubious. “Yosuke, you shouldn’t be-”

“Come on, it’s really okay. Please?”

Souji couldn’t refuse the puppy dog look - he would never be able to. With a sigh, he nodded, standing - leaving the warmth of Yosuke’s side with some reluctance - grabbed the case, and brought out the guitar, tuning it before he handed it to Yosuke. 

Carefully maneuvering his injured arm over the body of the instrument - he’d already practiced this the day before, to make sure he’d actually be able to do it - he played a few warm-up scales to get his fingers moving correctly. 

“Sit down, please?” He glanced up, and Souji sat down next to him, looking curious. Once Souji was seated, he turned towards him - just a little, as he was having to be careful not to jostle his collarbone - took a deep breath, and started to play.

It was a beautiful tune, warm and reassuring, soaring, aching sweetly, all-encompassing; there were no words, but Souji didn’t need words, he just bit his lip, blinking to hide the tears in his eyes. When Yosuke finished, he looked up; the look on his face was the same one Souji had earlier, when he’d given Yosuke his ring. 

“I’ve been trying to write you a song since New Year’s.” He sighed. “I’ve never been able to get beyond the melody… I love you, but I have no words that explain just how much… any time I try, I think I’ve got something, but it feels so mundane and small, and so fleeting… there’s nothing that can capture the magnitude of how I feel. And I didn’t want to wait to give it to you.”

“Yosuke…” Souji’s voice sounded choked. “It’s… _amazing_.” Closing his eyes, he leaned over to kiss his boyfriend, taking the guitar and setting it against his desk so that he could wrap his arms around the brunette. “I’ve never been this happy, not even at Christmas.”

“I know the feeling,” Yosuke murmured into his lips.

* * *

A text reminded Yosuke that his parents were very much waiting for him to come home - even if it was worded mildly, as the Hanamuras were _quite_ aware of what day it was - and as Dojima was not yet home, Souji walked Yosuke back to his house. It was slow going, between the crutches and how often they stopped to squeeze each other’s hands, but Yosuke seemed none the worse for the walk.

That evening, Souji lay in bed - Yosuke’s melody still singing through his head - reading his boyfriend’s newest text.

> mom likes the ring

> sez its tasteful

> Do you like it?

> course i do, it’s p badass even besides the fact that u gave it 2 me

> I wish I could hear your song again. 

> dude ヾ(〃ﾟーﾟ〃)ノ

> i’ll try 2 record it

> dork

> Don’t ‘dork’ me you wrote it, for me, of course it’s amazing. I love it.

> btw ur choklates

> music notes

> love ‘em

> I’m glad. I love you. 

> luv u 2

> dad’s letn me walk 2 skool 2moro

> Perfect, I’ll wait for you. Be a little early, we’re slow. 

> ugh ur rite of course

> i gotta sleep now

> i luv u

> this was the best day ever

> It was amazing. I love you, too. Sleep well, partner.

> partner <3


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 40 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

The next morning, Souji was waiting fifteen or twenty minutes early for Yosuke; he’d sent his boyfriend an early-morning text to remind him to get an early start. He just hoped that the two-word “ _ugh. kay_ ” text he’d received actually meant that Yosuke had gotten up.

He checked to make sure that Nanako’s chocolates were safe in his bag, and when he looked up, he heard the cheerful - if sleepy - voice of his boyfriend as Yosuke came around the corner. 

“Morning, partner.”

“Morning.” Souji smiled at Yosuke and, a little self-consciously, leaned over for a quick ‘good-morning’ kiss. Even if everybody at school knew about it now - according to an evening text from Rise, even the first years had known by the time clubs were out - he was still glad that fewer students were around that early in the morning. 

Yosuke, meanwhile, looked extraordinarily happy. “School almost seems worth it now.” He smirked at Souji’s blush, squeezing his hand before they started down the road towards school. “Sucks we can’t hold hands, though. How long do you need to be on crutches?”

The taller boy shook his head. “Another week, at least. Ankle still hurts, kinda; next Friday I’m supposed to go see the doctors, and they’ll tell me if I can give them up. Hope so, they’re so awkward.”

“No lasting damage, though, right?” Yosuke side-eyed his boyfriend. 

“Same as with your shoulder; not if I’m careful. When do you get to give up the sling?” 

“Early next week, same time the stitches are going to come out, I hope. They’re starting to itch.” He wrinkled his nose, and Souji paused, leaning over to look at his hairline.

“I’m surprised they managed to keep most of them so tidy and small. If they scar, it won’t be very noticeable.”

“Yeah, good thing, right? I don’t know how I’d keep my boyfriend without my pretty face.” A smirk.

“Stop that.” Souji, bright red, swatted Yosuke’s shoulder - a difficult move with crutches, but he managed. “Do you really think I’m-” A pause as Yosuke broke into peals of laughter. “Ugh. Idiot.”

“Sorry, sorry.” They’d just started to walk again when they heard footsteps behind them.

“Heeeeyyyyy, it’s the lovebirds!”

Chie and Yukiko walked up beside them; Chie was laughing, and Souji flushed again. Yosuke grinned. “Hey Chie, hey Yukiko.”

“Hello, Yosuke-kun, Souji-kun!” Yukiko's smile was bright, and she was walking very close to Chie, and Yosuke had the sneaking suspicion that they’d had a good Valentine’s Day, too, but he wasn’t going to say anything.

“Good morning.” Souji was still bright red, but he tried to stay composed. “I’ve got chocolates for both of you-”

“Whaaat?” Chie looked at Yosuke. “That’s okay with you?”

“They’re from Nanako, you dork.” Yosuke rolled his eyes. “Not like you two need chocolates from my boyfriend.”

Chie and Yukiko both flushed, and Souji looked curious, but didn’t ask, and neither of them responded. After a few minutes of quiet walking - the girls didn’t seem to mind going slower for the boys - Chie spoke up.

“You were pretty brave yesterday, Souji. I thought that was cool.” 

Souji, it seemed, was destined to spend the entire day blushing. “Uh, well… thanks. I just got jealous, I guess.” He sighed. “I hope it didn’t upset anyone too much.” When Yosuke looked at him, he smiled a bit, and amended his comment. “Not that I’d change what I did.”

Yukiko giggled. “You’d be surprised. I’m sure there were a lot of disappointed folks, but given how many fans you guys have and how many girls already paired ‘the sun and moon princes’, I think they’ll get over it.”

“Sun and moon- whaaa?” Yosuke rolled his eyes. “Seriously?”

“You never heard that?” Chie laughed, and Souji nodded. 

"I heard it a few times back before… before things happened in November.” He looked very much like he wanted to rub his neck, but couldn’t, so he just looked down at the pavement. “I forgot about it, to be honest.”

Yosuke looked at him, smirking. His voice quiet, he mumbled, “I did always think you looked kinda like moonlight.”

Souji turned even more pink. “Careful, or I’ll start calling you ‘my sunshine’.”

“ _Oh my god you guys stop it_.” Chie made gagging noises, and Yukiko started to giggle.

“I think it’s cute! Too bad Rise’s not here to see it!” That thought was enough to make the boys pale, and Chie laughed again.

“Well, either way. It’ll be an interesting day!” They could see the high school building, looming in the distance, and Chie tightened her hold on her backpack. “I gotta give Rise some stuff that I borrowed, so I’m gonna run on ahead. C’mon, Yukiko!” She started to jog off.

“Good luck, guys!” Yukiko gave a little wave - and giggle - before following, and Souji sighed.

“It’s going to be a _long_ day.”

* * *

It _was_ a long day. They got to school just before the bell rang, so while there were plenty of whispers as they made it into their seats, no one had a chance to stop them; the whispers, at least, weren’t malicious, and while Souji couldn’t keep from flushing at them, he didn’t feel _bad_ about them - just really, _really_ embarrassed.

Rise managed to saunter in and up to their desks before anyone could swarm them at lunch. “Oh _♪♫senpaaaai~♫♪_ , I heard you have chocolate for me?” She took a seat on Souji’s desk as whispers started up, and Yosuke rolled his eyes. 

“You really enjoy trying to start rumours, don’t you, Rise?”

She giggled. “Sorry, sorry. I heard Souji-senpai was really cool yesterday.” She smiled at Souji, a warm and supportive smile, and he smiled back. 

“I do have chocolates for you, from Nanako. There’s some for everybody.” Reaching into his satchel, he brought out the red-and-pink bags, handing one each to Chie, Yukiko, and Rise.

“None for Yosuke-senpai?” Rise sounded surprised.

“I got mine yesterday.” The brunette couldn’t help the tone of smug satisfaction, and Rise looked at him, giggling.

“Ohhh, I _see_ , so you went over to Souji-senpai’s house after school, eh?” Both boys flushed at her tone, and Souji was glad that most of the class - a little frightened of Rise’s wit, although she was only ever _horribly polite_ when she took people down - had cleared out for lunch. 

“Well, er…” He rubbed his neck. “Could you give Naoto and Kanji theirs?” He handed her two more bags. 

“Course I can. Aha!” When all three bags of chocolate were in her hands, she giggled. “I bet I have more from Souji-senpai today than Yosuke-senpai got yesterday!” 

“Psh, _as if_. Besides, those are from Nanako, not Souji.” He brushed his bangs out of his eyes and Rise, looking at his hand, squealed.

“ _Oh my god_ is that a _ring?_ ” 

All three girls leaned forward, and Souji - who’d been pulling two bentos out of his bag - froze. Yosuke flushed.

“Jeeze, Rise, calm down! It’s just-”

“ _It totally is!_ ” Rise clapped. “When’s the wedding?”

Souji choked. “It’s just a promise ring! A gift!” He was purple by this point, and Rise relented.

“I’m sorry, Souji-senpai.” Her voice dropped a little. “I know I’m being mean, but I’m really happy for you both.”

“We all are.” Chie and Yukiko nodded.

“Thanks.” Souji’s voice was faint. “I appreciate that, but can we all eat lunch now?”

He handed Yosuke the second bento box, looking embarrassed, and was glad when nobody commented, despite the knowing looks they gave each other.

* * *

If nothing else, Rise’s visit at lunch helped make them immune to anything their peers threw at them after school; nothing was quite so deadly as a nosy, close friend who knew you and your habits _a little too well_ \- no matter how well-meaning she might be. There were some curious questions, a few star-struck girls who were a little _too_ into the idea of Yosuke and Souji being together, and a couple of jealous “why _him_ ”s - surprisingly directed at both of them - but when Souji reached for his crutches with an embarrassed, “excuse me, I need to get home to my sister,” their classmates let them go. 

“Man, Rise was the worst of them all.” Souji chuckled, ruefully, as they made their way home. 

“Yeah, but you know… I kinda wonder if that was her plan? I mean, sure, she wanted to know the deal, but did you notice that people kinda laid off after that? They probably heard most of the conversation - or it just spread around - and anyway, Rise’s kinda scary.”

“Scary?” Souji raised an eyebrow.

“I guess you wouldn’t know, since you weren’t hanging out with us at that time, but when Rise first started she had a lot of problems with guys getting too attentive, or girls getting jealous, or pushy to try to be her friend, and she managed to deal with all of them, herself, without raising her voice or bringing the teachers into it. I’m not saying that in a different life she’d be, like, a sukeban or something, but I kinda am.” Yosuke laughed.

“She and Kanji could always start a gang,” Souji offered, looking thoughtful. “They could go around cleaning streets, threatening people who run stop signs, and rescuing cats from trees.”

“Yeah, except they’d both spend all their time fighting over who’s in charge.” They both laughed.

* * *

The next week, Souji got rid of his crutches at the same time that Yosuke got his final stitches out, and the whole group celebrated with a day trip to Okina city. They went shopping, hit up the arcade, saw a movie - although Kanji and Chie got into a fight over whether they wanted to watch _Return of the Dragon_ or _Daichiko Story_ (Souji and Yosuke didn’t care, planning to sit in the back and make out, either way.)

As the month passed, Souji and Yosuke became more inseparable - if such a thing were possible - and Souji grew quieter, more nervous. With an unsurprising amount of understanding, Dojima and the Hanamuras pretended not to notice that the boys planned one or two sleepovers a week; Dojima, especially, seemed almost to encourage it, especially as he saw Souji starting to retreat back into himself. 

More than one night, Souji woke up from a nightmare with Yosuke’s arms around him, holding him close. The brunette never faltered, always stroking his boyfriend’s hair as he murmured reassurances in his ear - he might not always _feel_ the reassurances, and sometimes he, too, was terrified of what was going to happen to Souji when he went back to his parents, but he knew that no matter what it was, they’d get through it. No matter what they had to do, what _he_ had to do.

* * *

A week and some change into March, Souji was wakened early one Sunday morning by a knock on his bedroom door; he’d been sleeping well, for a change, with no nightmares, so it took him a moment to register the noise.

Crawling out of his futon, he opened the door to see Dojima standing outside, already dressed - as usual - to go to work, although the clock noted that it was early into his morning routine. “Head downstairs, I made breakfast and coffee.” There was an odd tone to his voice, and Souji - who already had no plans to question his uncle’s actions - just nodded, running his hand through his hair before stepping into the bathroom to throw some water on his face to wake himself up.

When he got downstairs, he smelled the miso and coffee first; when he got to his seat, he saw that his coffee was already prepared - cream, no sugar - but there was a sealed envelope on his plate. He lost his usual early-morning slowness, looking sharply up at his uncle, who shrugged. He was clearly hiding his own nerves.

“I didn’t open it.”

Seeing the sender’s name and address made Souji’s stomach flip; he was glad he hadn’t actually _eaten_ yet, knowing he would have been sick immediately. With shaking hands, he used a chopstick to slit open the envelope; he slipped and the last half tore jaggedly, but he didn’t care, reaching in to pull out the frighteningly-short letter.

He skimmed it; it impersonal, but he _expected_ that, and the contents were what made him sink back into his chair, letting out a ragged sigh. Unable to wait, Dojima strode over, taking the letter from him; he skimmed it just as quickly, then looked at his nephew, who already had tears in his eyes. Without a word, he leaned over to hug Souji, who buried his face in his uncle’s shoulder, letting himself cry, just a little, from overwhelming emotion. 

His uncle’s eyes weren't dry, either, when they pulled apart; he looked at Souji, eyebrow raised. “Should you tell them?”

“I should.” Souji’s voice was shaking. “I- I don’t know if I can message them right now without letting it slip. Can you ask them all to come over this afternoon? I’m sure they’ll know something’s up, but-”

Dojima looked over at the calendar, which had a small red ‘X’ on that day’s date; he smiled faintly, and nodded. “I can do that. I know you’ll need to go out and start making plans; come back around two, I’ll tell them all to be here at three.”

Nodding, Souji looked at the table. “I’m sorry, I- I don’t think I can eat, not right now. I need a shower…” He looked antsy. “Will you tell Nanako, while I’m out? I’ll make it up to her, but right now, I just need-”

“I know.” His uncle nodded. “I understand.” He patted Souji’s shoulder, squeezing it tightly before grabbing a cigarette and heading for the back porch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **sukeban** \- 'boss girl', or leader of a girl gang, female equivalent to a _banchō_


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 41 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Be sure to read 40 first, as these updated in quick succession.  
> 2) This is what you get when I sleep for 19 hours (THANKS, MIGRAINE) and then don't sleep at all one night.  
> 3) INNUENDO. Also, fluff.

After a shower and more paperwork - which Souji carried with him, instead of dropping into the mailbox - the silver-haired boy hurried out of the house and into town, getting there just as the shops were opening. He had a lot of errands to run, and wanted to be sure he was home exactly on time; it was eating him alive not to text Yosuke, but he knew this was for the best.

While he wasn’t exactly _hungry_ by lunchtime, he knew that he needed something, so he grabbed a coffee and a melon pan from Junes, glad that he already knew that Yosuke wouldn’t be working that day. He had some orders to place at Junes, and it was getting perilously close to two by the time he was done and able to hurry back home.

 _All right. I’ll talk to Nanako, apologize for not telling her myself, and then_ … A helpless sigh. _I should have planned something else to do with the others, not just… this_. It was a little too late to worry, though - not that it stopped him - so he just put his hand to the doorframe to slide it open.

_I wonder what Yosuke’s going to say?_

* * *

He expected to have Nanako throwing herself at him when he opened the door; no one met him, however, and it wasn’t until he stepped into the main room that he realized that the whole group was there as they all yelled out, “Surprise!”

Starting back - nearly dropping the boxes in his hands - Souji looked stunned; shooting a look at Dojima, he saw his uncle smiling. “They’ve been planning this for a week or two now. I didn’t have to ask them to come over today.” The near-imperceptible shake of his head said that, no, he hadn’t told them anything.

With a shaky smile, Souji looked around. “What’s this?”

“What do you think, goofball?” Yosuke stood up. “You know us, always looking for a reason to celebrate.” The words _a farewell party_ lingered, unspoken; his smile stretched for a moment, and to keep the silence from becoming painful, he eyed the boxes in his boyfriend’s hands. “What were you up to this morning?”

“I um.” Souji flushed, looking nervous; _this is the perfect chance_ didn’t calm his stomach, but it at least helped make him a little braver. “Just picking up my new uniform insignia, putting in the size order for next year’s. Had to get a new seal, stuff like that.” 

The words made everyone quieten a bit, and Yosuke, forcing a cheerful tone, held out his hands. “Lemme see!” 

Hesitating, Souji tossed over the first box - with the uniform insignia - and then the second, which Chie caught, with the seal. Still feigning excitement, Yosuke pulled the box open, blinking as the gold-toned bars fell into his hand. 

_Wait a second_ … 

Yosuke knew which high school Souji was going to attend in Tokyo - they’d already talked about it. He knew what the uniform looked like, as well as their grade-specific insignia. 

What he was holding in his hand was not a pretentious crest from a top-tier Tokyo private high school; what he was holding was a set of Yasogami High School year-three bars. They even had the Yasogami logo pin with them, which was stupid, because that didn’t change from year to year, but they’d always come with it, anyway. His head shot up, and he looked at Souji, who was watching him nervously; as he did, Chie gasped beside him, having unwrapped the small stone seal.

“Wait wait wait _what?_ Souji _Dojima?_ ”

A smile broke across Souji’s face, and he nodded, and as the rest of the group gasped - or squealed, in Rise’s case - Yosuke threw himself at Souji, whose arms were already out. 

“Oh my god… _oh my god, partner_ … are you serious?” He was crying, and when Souji touched his forehead to his boyfriend’s, Yosuke realized that Souji was crying, too. 

“Yes.” His voice was muffled as they held each other. “I got the letter today.”

The whole room was in an uproar by this point, everyone else hugging each other, and talking, and crying, and laughing, and Dojima picked up Nanako and told her quietly that, _yes, adoption means that ‘big bro’ is_ really _big bro now, and wouldn’t ever have to leave_ (until college), and finally, Yosuke pulled away, keeping a hand on Souji’s shoulder. Wiping his eyes, he shook his head.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” 

His voice trembled, and unsurprisingly, he sounded a little hurt. _This_ was the conversation Souji was most dreading.

“I _wanted_ to, Yosuke, believe me - but the stakes were so abysmally high, the chance of it happening so low that I couldn’t get your hopes up - I couldn’t get _my_ hopes up, even though they were, for a while. Then, when it took so long for the letter to come…” He looked down at his hands.

“He’s right, Yosuke.” Dojima put Nanako down, and she immediately ran over to hug Souji, who picked her up. Yosuke, shocked by Dojima’s use of his first name, looked over, and the older man continued. “We were so, _so_ lucky. I had to press for charges of abuse by negligence, which meant I had to find witnesses - at least there were enough former maids and tutors - and Souji had to see a psychiatrist, it was a mess. Luckily, I had enough to go on that his parents were willing to sign the paperwork without forcing it to go to court.” He walked over and put an arm around Souji and Nanako. 

“ _Which would have hurt my father’s reputation_ ,” Souji muttered. “Still, for once, I’m grateful for his selfishness.” A smile as he leaned into the hug with Dojima and Nanako. “I’m sorry, Yosuke. If I’d had any hope at all I _would_ have told you.” 

“It’s okay.” The brunette smiled, squeezing Souji’s hand. “I understand. It’s not like I would have _known_ any earlier, anyway.”

Dojima finally let go of Souji, who put Nanako down; this seemed to be an unspoken signal as everyone crowded around to either hug Souji or pat his shoulder.

“And guess what?” Nanako looked excited. “There’s cake!” 

Laughing, everyone crowded around the table in the house that Souji was now able to call ‘ _home_ ’.

* * *

They all stayed until dinner - Dojima ordered sushi, top-grade, for the celebration - and although most of them had to head home afterwards, Yosuke stuck around. The two boys were washing the dishes - Dojima tried to tell Souji not to worry about it, but the silver-haired boy just laughed a brighter laugh than anyone had ever heard from him, including Yosuke, and said he was glad to spend his first night at _home_ taking care of chores - when the doorbell rang. 

Dojima went to answer it; when he returned, he was carrying a relatively large box, a puzzled and wary look on his face. “It’s for you, Souji. From… my sister and her husband.” It was quite clear that Dojima was never going to call them “parents” again.

Souji looked up, puzzled. “That’s odd. I only claimed one thing for my belongings on the paperwork.” Putting the dishcloth down, he walked over; Dojima handed him a pair of scissors. 

Once the box was unsealed, Souji flipped it open; the first thing on top was a gorgeously lavish black raw-silk kimono with silver-threaded edging and a white fur haori himo. He grimaced. “Oh.”

Yosuke raised an eyebrow, coming over to look as Souji started to dig through the rest of the contents. Dojima still looked puzzled. “That’s not what you asked for, is it?”

“No.” A sigh. “This is just a message, they’re trying to remind me of what I gave up - only my formal clothes are here. In fact…” He started to look a little angry. “I’ll bet they didn’t include-”

He looked more and more frustrated as he got to the bottom of the box, having gone through more than a few highly elabourate kimono, yukata, haori, some Chinese-style jackets and suits, and all of the appropriate undergarments and accessories; finally, he exhaled, seeing a pile of plainer materials at the bottom. “I half expected them to leave these out.” Careful not to upend the box, he pulled out a dark grey suit, shaking out a black dress shirt and grey tie to go with it. “The only thing I _did_ request.”

Yosuke, next to him, turned red; Dojima looked at both of them, shaking his head with a chuckle. “I’m not going to ask.” He eyed the box. “Those are some pretty fancy outfits, though.”

“Yeah.” Souji eyed them. “I don’t have any use-”

“Hang on.” Yosuke knelt down. “Some of these look pretty cool. You know how much Nanako liked dressing up with you, and they look good on you, you know?”

Nanako, who’d wandered over when she heard the rustling of fabric, clapped. “Yeah! We can go to festivals all the time, now! Those look cool, big bro!” 

Souji eyed them. “I don’t care how many festivals you want to go to, I won’t need _this_ many.”

“No, but you can pick out the ones you like, then donate everything else to the drama club. Don’t you think Yumi would appreciate it?”

The silver-haired boy perked up at this, giving a slow smile. “And _they_ -” nobody needed to ask who he meant by ‘they’ “-would hate that. Perfect. All right, let’s haul this upstairs, I’ll let you and Nanako help me pick which ones to keep tomorrow.”

* * *

As they were drying the dishes, Dojima’s cell rang; he looked at the number and grimaced. “ _Of_ course. Hang on.” From the conversation, it was pretty clear that he was being called into the office.

When he hung up, he looked at the two boys. “I’ve got to go in, and it’ll probably be an all nighter. Put Nanako to bed, will you? And-” a pause, as he shook his head. “If Yosuke spends the night, just… don’t stay up too late, okay?”

They both flushed, nodding; Dojima leaned over to kiss Nanako’s forehead. “Night, Nanako.” 

“Night, dad!”

He looked at Souji, his face softening; putting his arm around Souji’s shoulders, they hugged. “Night, Souji.”

Souji smiled. “Night, dad.” His voice was shy, and Dojima grinned, ruffling his hair. 

“All right, Yosuke, have a good night, you heard what I said.”

“Good night, Dojima-san!” 

When his car was gone, the boys looked at each other, then down at Nanako, who giggled. “I’m so happy! Dad said our family would never get any bigger, but I have a real REAL big bro now!”

Souji smiled, crouching down for a hug. “I’m happy, too. Are you about ready for bed?”

“Yeah! Will you play for me tonight?”

“Of course.” Souji smiled, then looked at Yosuke, who made a shooing motion as he reached for his phone. After a while, the soft sounds of violin wafted out from Nanako’s room as Yosuke called his parents, giving them the great news and, unsurprisingly, getting easy permission to stay the night.

* * *

About half an hour later, Souji came out of Nanako’s room with a soft smile on his face, finding Yosuke sitting at the kotatsu watching TV, which he turned off when his boyfriend walked up. “Well, hello.” 

“Hey.” Souji smiled. “My room?”

“Of course.” As he climbed to his feet, Souji gave a grin and headed up the stairs, two by two, ahead of Yosuke; the brunette raised an eyebrow, but merely followed, only to find Souji disappearing into the bathroom just as he got there.

“All right…?” Shaking his head, he went on into the bedroom.

Souji was gone for a good ten minutes; Yosuke took the time to look around the room - now that it was _really_ Souji’s - imagining all the ways they could decorate it, make it _his_. “Some band posters, maybe some models…” He couldn’t stop himself from smiling, realizing that there was no foreseeable reason they’d ever have to be apart again, not for any significant amount of time. Rubbing his arms, he’d just walked over to the couch when he heard the door open; turning around, he started to say something about going shopping for room stuff, but when he saw Souji, his jaw dropped. 

“Holy _shit_ , dude.”

Souji had put on the suit from earlier - it wasn’t _exactly_ the same suit his shadow had worn, but it was damn close - and he’d also put on his real glasses. The only differences were his silver eyes and his shyness - both improvements, if you asked Yosuke.

Then again, if you’d asked Yosuke, he probably wouldn’t have been able to answer; his mouth was dry and all he could do was stare as Souji slowly made his way over to stand in front of him. They stared at one another for a moment, and just as Souji reached out to put his hands on Yosuke’s waist, his boyfriend grabbed him, pulling him close as he leaned in for a deep, hungry kiss. 

When they finally pulled apart - only inches, enough to breathe - they both tried to catch their breath as Souji exhaled a “ _Wow_.” 

“You’re telling me,” Yosuke mumbled, stepping back to look Souji up and down. Running his hands down Souji’s back, he slipped his hands under the jacket and was heading for the belt when Souji stepped back, breaking contact. Yosuke whimpered. 

With a small smirk, Souji unbuttoned his jacket, throwing it aside onto the couch as he reached up for his tie; as he slipped a finger behind the knot to loosen it, Yosuke bit his lip and whimpered again, sitting down heavily in Souji’s desk chair. Taking this as encouragement, the silver-haired boy started to unbutton his dress shirt, slowly closing the gap between himself and his boyfriend. 

“ _Holy shit, dude_.” Yosuke’s voice was breathless, barely a whisper, as he put his hands on Souji’s hips, staring up; amber eyes met silver - the glasses making it all the hotter - and Souji smirked.

“You said that already,” he murmured, leaning over to kiss Yosuke again.

Yosuke just groaned, sliding his hands into Souji’s unbuttoned shirt. “Mine,” he whispered against his boyfriend's lips.

“Mhm.” Souji smiled, flushing. “Forever?”

“Forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S NOT OVER YET! 
> 
> **melon pan** \- bread rolls, often with fillings (cream, red bean, etc) with a criss-cross pattern on the top that resembles the surface of a cantaloupe  
>  **kimono** \- originally meaning 'thing to wear', kimono has come to represent most types of Japanese traditional wear, usually the more formal, long  & elabourate pieces  
>  **haori himo** \- the tie for the jacket segment of a man's kimono, white is the most formal colour  
>  **yukata** \- unlined kimono-like garments, usually for summer wear  
>  **haori** \- a formal jacket, mostly worn by men but also sometimes by women


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 42 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, so much fluff. Forgive me the birthday thing, but I couldn't help it.

Later that night, Souji lay on his back in his futon with Yosuke snuggled up to his side, head on his chest, tracing patterns across his pajama top. “So, how long were you planning this whole thing?” The brunette's voice was soft; they were both warm and relaxed.

“Hmm?” Souji’s eyes were closed, though he wasn’t asleep; he’d been focusing on the feel of Yosuke’s heartbeat against his side. “The adoption? I came to the conclusion that I had to do _something_ just after you got sick at New Year’s. I wasn’t sure what - I mean, even if I knew I wanted to stay here, adoption is a huge deal and I’m not the only one who would need to agree to it, you know? Then dad-” his voice dropped, still shy about saying the word - Yosuke remembered he’d always said “Father” when referring to Dojima's brother-in-law “-and Nanako came home from the hospital the second time, and I just… laid it all out.” 

Yosuke reached over for Souji’s hand, wrapping it in his own as his boyfriend lifted his head for a moment, smiled, then continued. “We sat in here and I just said, ‘I don’t want to go back,’ and it was like a dam opened. I don’t think I ever talked to him so much before, I just told him everything I was scared of, and how much I didn’t want to leave you or Nanako or him or the group or even Inaba… I was scared of my old family, I knew they’d figure it out, and I didn’t want to have to lose it all just to go back… I didn’t want to be what they wanted me to be, I’d rather run away from home.” 

The silver-haired boy’s voice shook a little, and Yosuke kissed his hand; Souji stroked his cheek for a moment before shaking his head. “He just asked me if I’d rather live with him and Nanako, that he wasn’t sure he could do it, but he already considered us a family, and he’d sure as hell _try_ , and I started to cry, and we hugged, and he told me he’d do whatever it took, because my parents didn’t deserve me, and I don’t-” A deep breath. “I’d never realized what I was missing, having a dad that loves me.” He sounded a little dazed, and Yosuke leaned up to kiss him.

“Well, you deserve it. I mean, hell, everybody deserves it, but for real, I’m so glad, partner. Even if you still had to go away for whatever reason, while I wouldn’t be _okay_ with it, I’d be okay, if you were with Dojima-san and Nanako. And you don’t have to go away, so it’s perfect, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Souji’s voice was warm, and he tightened his arm around Yosuke. “So dad did a bunch of research, contacted some of my old tutors and maids, and I don’t know who else; we went to the city, and I talked to a psychiatrist, and I don’t know if there was enough that the courts would have agreed to it, but I guess they found out enough that it would have caused a lot of problems job-wise - and trust-wise - for a diplomat like my… well, dad’s brother-in-law.” A shrug. 

“I know I’m a dick, but I almost - _almost_ \- wish you’d taken it to court.” Yosuke rubbed his face against Souji’s chest, sighing. “I mean, I get it, this was the best chance, and dude I am so glad it happened, but damn. I don’t think I’ll ever not hate them.” 

“Thanks.” Souji hugged Yosuke tightly. “I guess I just don’t think it’s worth sacrificing what I have to make them mad, you know? I get that they’re probably still pretty angry, but it’s in their best interest right now to leave things as they are.”

“I know, I know…” Yosuke stretched. “Well, we don’t have to worry about them any more, right?” A chuckle. “Tell you what, want a job at Junes?” He grinned. “Though, to be honest, dad would probably schedule us at different times just to make sure we got any work done.”

Snorting, Souji shook his head, chuckling. “Thanks for the offer, but dad and I already talked about that. He said he can definitely support another mouth thank you very much, and besides - well, if I still want to go to Tokyo U, I’m going to have to get a scholarship, you know? Dad would _try_ to help, but I don’t want that, I want him to save for whatever Nanako wants to do, and if I get a job as a lawyer or we make it in music I can help with that. That’s another reason I started studying again, although it was only an afterthought at the time, I’d kind of lost hope that the adoption was going to go through.”

Yosuke sighed. “Damn, dude, you’ve got it all planned out, don’t you? I feel kinda lame, compared to you. All I ever thought about was going some place for music. There’s some good colleges in Tokyo.”

“Well…” Souji rested his chin on the top of Yosuke’s head. “Thought about the Tokyo College of Music?” As Yosuke started to protest, he put a finger against the brunette’s lips. “Yes, I know it’s elite, but Yosuke, you’re _good_. Like, really good. You’ve already got a knack for composition, you’re the best player in band - and that’s pretty much without any kind of teaching - and you taught yourself guitar. You want to learn lots of different instruments, what better place to go? It’s also less than four miles away from Tokyo U, so we could get an apartment between the two.”

Flushing, his boyfriend jabbed his side. “You make a compelling argument, but how would I be able to afford a school like that?”

“Scholarships. They’ve got them for composition, as well as most of the main instruments. I already checked. I know you can play keyboard, so focus on piano this year, or go for trumpet, or learn a new instrument, you know?” A smirk as he grabbed Yosuke’s hand, bringing it up to kiss the finger that had been poking him.

“Yeah, but you’re getting a legit degree, you know? If music doesn’t pan out-”

“ _Yosuke_.” Souji sat up, and his boyfriend sat up with him, looking a little flustered. “Do you not want to go?”

“That’s not it, I just… I’m _worried_. I mean, you’ve got all this great stuff planned, you’ve got it all worked out, and here I am going off on a wing and a prayer, and-”

He shut up when Souji kissed him, though he still whined a bit against his boyfriend’s lips. When they broke apart, he pushed Souji - though not hard. 

“Dude, you keep _doing_ that and it’s kind of annoying.”

“You also think it’s kind of hot.” Souji bumped their foreheads together. “Yosuke, you’re the leader, but that doesn’t mean you have to have it all together, you know? There’s nothing wrong with following your dreams. Besides, you can also study film score composition, or hell, you could become a music teacher or something if things don’t pan out immediately. And, you know…” Leaning over, Souji kissed his nose, which made Yosuke wrinkle it. “Lawyers make pretty good money.”

“I’m not going to live off your income, Souji.”

“I didn’t say you were going to. What I’m saying is that we’re here, we’re together, there’s no reason we ever have to be apart again, and we’ll do what we need to make it work, since _together_ is what we both want, right?”

“Right.” Yosuke smiled, leaning in for a kiss. “Jeeze. Here I thought you were the one who thinks too much.”

“I do, but so do you, and we’re here to support each other, right?” 

They kissed softly, warmly; outside, the sound of a vehicle got louder and Souji looked up at the clock. “It’s midnight, we should get to bed; I think dad’s home, and we’ve got school in the morning.”

They lay back down, and Yosuke snuggled up to his chest again. “You know… It’s actually gonna be okay now, going to school.” 

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Souji ran his fingers through the brunette’s hair, sighing happily.

* * *

Yosuke woke the next morning to the sound of a light tapping at the door; for a second, he thought it was Teddie, but then realized that he was still at the Dojimas’. He remembered Souji saying something about Nanako tapping his door to wake him up each morning; turning, he saw Souji curl up into a ball and pull the covers over his head, but Yosuke caught them before he could cocoon.

“Oh no you don’t.” A chuckle as he shook his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Up and at ‘em.”

“Mmmmmf, don’ wanna.”

Yosuke was used to this by now, so he just kissed Souji’s cheek and stood; he hadn’t brought a uniform, not expecting to stay over, so he went to the close to pull out Souji’s spare. He knew that after a few, deprived of his boyfriend's body heat, Souji would pull himself out of bed - still half asleep. Given how Souji was always so on top of things, Yosuke thought he was adorable in the mornings.

By the time they were on the way to school, as usual, Souji was awake and this time - to Yosuke’s great happiness - they had no problems walking most of the way hand-in-hand. 

“Put in an order for new uniforms, eh? Were these getting worn out?” Yosuke looked down at the one he was wearing. 

“It’s not that.” Souji stuck out his arm, then gestured to his ankles; with a bit of a shock, Yosuke realized that there were a good several inches of both that hadn’t been there the fall before. “I think I finally hit six feet.”

“Jeeze, dude!” He looked a little jealous. “You’re totally going to beat me in height.” _I don’t know how I feel about being the short one in the relationship - oh, who am I lying to. It’s kinda hot_.

Souji chuckled. “I’m betting this is the last spurt. I’m going to be seventeen in a few months, anyway. I might hit another one before I turn eighteen, but I doubt it. Besides, you might hit another spurt, too.”

Yosuke raised an eyebrow. “When’s your birthday, dude? I realized I never asked, since it was kind of hard to talk about it, thinking we wouldn’t be able to celebrate it together.”

“June 22nd, I’m a cancer-” He stopped when Yosuke did, as they were still holding hands; it was unexpected, and the jerk backwards made him blink at his boyfriend.

“Holy shit, partner, are you _serious?_ That’s my birthday!”

They stared at each other for a few moments, then started to laugh. “Wow.” Souji shook his head. “It’s kind of crazy that we never figured it out until now.”

“Well, you did hate me last June.” They’d continued to walk, and Yosuke side-eyed Souji with a grin.

The silver-haired boy frowned, flushing. “I never hated you, Yosuke. I was jealous, and there was something about you… well, I guess I was falling for you from the beginning, I just didn’t know how to handle something like that.”

It was Yosuke’s turn to blush at those words, and he squeezed Souji’s hand. “Dude, you’re cheesy.”

“Yosuke, we share the same _birthday_. Try telling me now it’s not fate.”

“I don’t know about fate… but, well…” Yosuke pushed his bangs out of his eyes. “It’s definitely perfect.”

“That it is.” They were at the school gates by now, and Souji took the opportunity to pull Yosuke aside, behind a tree, and kiss him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, dork.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: happy birthday, you precious dorks. We'll celebrate in good time.


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 43 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the small hiatus, I wrote a little [birthday thing](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7279555) for the 22nd since it's not time for the boys to celebrate yet in this story. It's an AU of this AU, and stupidly sappy.

Oh _♪♫senpaaaai♫♪~_ ” 

Souji and Yosuke were just packing up to go home that afternoon when Rise came in, looking very much like a cat that swallowed a carton of cream. 

“Hey, Rise.” Souji smiled as Yosuke threw his bag across his back. “Heading home?”

“Yep! Can I walk with you guys?”

“Of course.” 

“Awright!” She flashed them both a smile that said she wanted to talk about something; they knew, however, better than to ask outright, so they made small talk - mostly about Souji staying and plans for the summer, especially the beach - as they headed outside and back to town. 

“Souji Dojima, huh, senpai? It doesn’t roll of the tongue like Souji Seta did, but I think it sounds nicer.” Rise was walking between them, again, an arm linked with each boy. 

“Kinda.” Souji pulled a face. “The gist is that to save face, dad’s sister and brother-in-law-” this being the way he referred to his biological parents, now “-are just telling immediate friends and family that I’ve decided to stay in Inaba to help with Nanako, since the ‘poor dear’ doesn’t have a mother.” He grimaced as he made air quotes. “They’re not telling anyone about the adoption, so to the family I’m still a Seta. It’s stupid, but in the end I don’t care any more; they can’t do anything to me legally and dad will stomp on them if they try. In return, they’ll just leave us alone. Besides, if they want to keep up the charade, they’ll have a vested interest in making sure I get to law school - I won’t take their money, but at least they won’t be trying to make things difficult.” He shrugged. “Of course, once I hit twenty, well…” A shrug. “Maybe I’ll keep Seta as a stage name.” He grinned at Yosuke. “I’m sure they’d _love_ that.”

Yosuke chuckled. “You’re evil, partner. Either way, though, do what makes you happiest.”

Rise shook her head. “Sucks it has to be that way, but whatever, you know?” She hugged Souji’s arm. “I’m so glad you’re staying, senpai… but it woulda been kinda nice to have you there in the city.”

The boys raised eyebrows at each other, and Yosuke looked down at Rise. “So you’re really going? Before graduation?”

“Yeah.” A nod. “I’ll be kinda busy this summer, but I’ll probably start next year back at my old school so I’m not having to move around except for shoots and stuff. And I’m gonna make sure they let me focus on school.” She looked determined, although her lower lip trembled a bit. “I’m gonna miss you guys so much.”

“We’ll miss you, too.” Souji leaned over and hugged her shoulders, and Yosuke did the same. “But it’s what’s going to make you happiest, right?”

Squaring her shoulders, she nodded. “Yep! And that’s what I wanted to talk to you guys about.” She fidgeted a bit, looking down at the pavement before looking up at each boy in turn. “I’m going back to my old idol company, I’ve already signed the contract. They gave into a lot of my demands - like the one about being able to focus on school, and I get some input into my songs and outfits and image and stuff like that - but a lot of the input I get hinges on if they like my song and how well it does.” She chewed her lip and Yosuke raised an eyebrow.

“It’s ready? But you haven’t played it for them yet?”

Taking a deep breath, she shook her head. “It’s ready, and I want you guys to give me your honest opinion. And-” A pause.

“And?” Souji raised an eyebrow. 

“Well I kinda want to put on another show and play the song with them there and show them we can win the crowd and I want you guys there too because it’s got parts for you and I can totally plan the outfits and maybe the dance routine well my dance routine and that way they’ll know I’ll know what I’m doing and if it goes over well they won’t be able to say it wasn’t successful and-”

She got all of this out in one overwhelmingly long sentence before Souji laughed, holding up a hand. “Hold on, Rise, just take a breath.” 

“Sorry.” Cheeks pink, she giggled. “It’s a bad habit when I’m nervous; I don’t do it in public, at least.”

“It’s okay. I think I did the same thing to Yosuke when he asked me out.” He winked at the brunette over Rise’s head as she giggled. 

“Oh gosh that’s so cute!”

They laughed as they walked up to Souji’s house. “Well, Yosuke doesn’t have to work today, so do you want to both come in? Do you have time, Rise? We can talk more.”

“Yep! And I wanna see Nanako-chan, too!”

* * *

Nanako was thrilled to see Rise and the two of them spent some time playing with Usa-chan and her other dolls while Souji made tea and snacks; eventually, Nanako took her homework over to Mai-chan’s and the three teens sat down around the kotatsu.

“Gonna be time to swap it back for the table pretty soon,” Yosuke said, turning down the heat. “Almost a little too toasty.” 

“Yep, spring’s finally here.” Rise grabbed a cookie. “Souji-senpai, it’s no fair that you’re such a good cook.”

“What’s wrong with it?” Yosuke eyed her, drinking his tea.

“Of course _you_ think it’s okay.” Rise laughed. “Anyway! About the song…” Her hands tightened around the tea mug. “I want to do another Junes show, maybe make it more of an event - just for the town, of course, we can keep it out of the newspapers. If the bigwigs like the song, they’ll even have a special ‘first-time performance’ video they can tack onto a cd or something, which folks will like.”

Souji looked at Yosuke. “Video? I think Chie and Naoto would kill someone to make that go away.”

Yosuke smirked as Rise giggled. “Well, actually, I was thinking I wouldn’t bother the others, since they don’t usually play and nobody else really had any fun last time - well, other than Teddie-”

“ _No Teddie_.” Souji’s response was immediate and they all cracked up before finally coming back to the subject. 

“Exactly. I mean I want everybody else to be there, of course! But, well…” She fidgeted again. “When I wrote the song I put in a violin part and there’s a guitar part, of course - it just seemed right, you know? And I want you guys there. I got them to let me include you as part of the band - they’d supply everything else - the only stipulation is that if any of us screw up, it’s gonna come back on me.” 

Surprised, the boys looked at each other again. “Are you sure you want to take that risk, Rise?” Yosuke sounded hesitant. “I mean… we love you and we’d do our best, but I’m self-trained and Souji’s only just picked the violin back up after so long…”

As Souji nodded, Rise shook her head. “Of course I do! You guys helped make this song, it’s gonna sound so much better with you two. You _know_ me, you _understand_ me, you understand what I’m trying to say. Besides, you enjoyed it last time, right? We’ve got more time this time! We can take a couple of weeks to practice. We can also do the song we did last time as an encore, just in case, yeah?”

There was silence for a bit, and finally, Souji spoke up. “I’m not against it, but… I need to think about it. I think we both do, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, of course.” She broke into a wide smile. “You gotta hear the song first, anyway!” She pulled out a CD. “This is just a demo, I used my new keyboard workstation to fake the other instruments, so I think it’ll sound better when we play it.”

“ _Dude_ , you got a workstation? Ugh, I’m so jealous.” Yosuke brightened up. “What kind?” 

“It’s a Yamaha-”

“A MOXF8?” When Rise nodded, he groaned. “Ugh. So jealous!”

She laughed. “I wanted one of the _really_ high-end ones but I’m gonna make sure this all works out before I go that far.”

“If you’re ever looking to sell your MOX used let me know.” Yosuke looked a little wistful. “It’s so freaking hard to get ahold of instruments in this town.”

“Tell me about it.” She giggled. “Anyway, senpai, here!”

She put the disk into a small, portable CD player and after a few seconds, the song started up. They both recognized it - most of Yosuke’s lyrical changes were still there, as were Souji’s music suggestions - but it had changed, subtly, into something a little more upbeat, much like Rise herself. When it was over, Souji sat back.

“It’s really good, Rise.”

“No kidding.” Yosuke pushed his bangs out of his eyes. “I’m impressed. I can’t imagine they won’t like this.”

“Yay!” She clapped her hands. “Do you see why I want you guys to play with me? Besides.” She giggled. “This won’t be an off-brand Risette performance where we show up in our school uniforms - if I’m gonna convince them to let me have a creative say in my image and wardrobe, I gotta impress ‘em, you know? That means I get to pick out outfits for both of you!”

Both boys looked a little alarmed at this, and she giggled again. “Don’t worry, guys, I love you both but I have way better style than you do.”

Yosuke looked offended. “Hey!-”

Souji just looked at him, then at Rise. “You’re probably right.”

His boyfriend elbowed him in the ribs.

* * *

Souji made dinner - udon and rice - and they put the topic aside for the rest of the night. Yosuke suggested they all play together, but Rise apologized.

“Grandma’s waiting for me, I told her I’d be out for dinner but I need to help prep the store for tomorrow. Let’s do it another time!”

She hugged them both before heading out - it was still light, so she insisted she go home alone - and once she was gone, Souji started on the dishes while Yosuke watched Nanako’s quiz show with her.

The silver-haired boy was just drying the last bowl when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist; with a smile, he put the bowl aside and laid his own arms over them. “Nanako’s show over?”

“Yep. She’s getting ready for bed now. I told her I’d read her a story but she wants big bro to come say good night, too.” Yosuke buried his face in Souji’s back and breathed deeply. 

He could feel the chuckle rumble through Souji’s chest before he actually heard it; his boyfriend smiled. “Enjoying yourself?”

“Yep.” Finally letting go, Yosuke grabbed a stack of dishes and slid them into the cabinet. “So, what do you think?”

“About the concert?” Souji looked down at the chopsticks in his hand before opening the utensil drawer. “What do you think?”

“I want to do it.” Yosuke didn’t hesitate, though he did look sideways at Souji.

A nod. “I thought you would. I’m not averse to the idea, although it’s a little daunting.”

“Daunting, yeah, but I mean - when else are we gonna get this kind of chance? It’s what we want to do, and-” he scooted over, slipping an arm around Souji’s waist. “-don’t tell me you don’t want to be up there again, this time without having to worry about your stupid ex-parents.”

Leaning into the embrace, Souji shrugged. “You got me, I can’t deny that. I can’t swear the anxiety won’t kick in again, but I won’t run away this time.”

“If it does, we’ll work through it.” Yosuke put his chin on Souji’s shoulder. “Besides, I’m kinda interested in what Rise’s gonna pick out for you to wear.”

Souji laughed. “Heh, you know what? Me, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **udon** \- a thick, wheat-flour noodle usually served in a hot soup (often with fish cakes, tofu skins, seaweed, egg, and many of the same additions that go into ramen)


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 44 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They keep getting into trouble and then I have to figure out where to cut the chapter so it's not too long. Hopefully they're not wearing out their welcome with anyone.
> 
> Also, fyi, innuendo.
> 
> Also! We finally broke 100k words!

“Whaaat? You’re going to go through that _again?_ ” Chie looked at them like they were crazy, but Yosuke just laughed.

“Hey now, just because you’re not into the idea doesn’t mean we didn’t enjoy ourselves.” He slapped Souji’s shoulder. “Right, partner?”

Souji smiled. “It’s not for everybody, but I really enjoyed it, and we want to help Rise. And you guys don’t have to stress about playing, you know, you can just come as audience. You will come, right?”

“Of course, Souji-kun!” Yukiko smiled. “I think it’s wonderful that you’re playing music. You really did look happy up on stage.”

* * *

Souji had packed enough food for three, and he and Yosuke invited Rise to join them on the roof for lunch. Yosuke told her they wanted join her at the performance, but she didn’t seem surprised.

“I knew you would.” A grin. “You two just look way too happy playing music to say no.” She pulled two folders out from her bag, handing one to each of them. “I came prepared!”

Yosuke raised an eyebrow, flipping through the folder; it was sheet music. “Wow, Rise. This is really detailed.” Souji, looking at his own, nodded.

Rise looked serious. “Well, I really want this to work, so…”

Souji smiled, closing his folder. “I’ll start practicing tonight, dad shouldn’t be home, so-”

“If he is, you can come over.” Yosuke nodded. “I’ll send Ted to Kanji’s or something.”

“Dojima-san still doesn’t like it when you play?” Rise looked sympathetic.

“It’s not that.” Souji rubbed his neck. “I never asked. I just… he’s been through so much, and he’s done so much for me that I don’t want to push it, you know?”

“Yeah, it’s okay, partner.” Yosuke put his arm down on the ledge just behind Souji’s elbow, leaning against him. “How about lunch?”

“Yay, lunch!” Rise clapped, seeming to know instinctively when not to push in regards to Souji’s music. “I’m so excited, you guys should invite me more often!”

“Rise…” Yosuke side-eyed her, and she giggled.

“Aw, Yosuke-senpai, you’re so cute when you’re jealous.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Souji smiled and Yosuke shoved him - though not hard enough to do more than make him lean ever-so-slightly to the side. 

“You watch it, buster,” he mumbled, then joined the other two in laughter.

* * *

“I don’t know… are you sure about this, Rise?” Souji eyed himself in the fitting-room mirror. 

She looked at him with a critical eye, her piercing gaze almost enough to remind him of his birth mother’s, although with none of the scorn or haughtiness; finally, she broke into a smile.

“You look amazing! I can’t wait for Yosuke-senpai to see!” Souji turned, looking at his reflection once more, dubiously. She’d put him in a fitted, grey blazer with interesting seamwork, no buttons, and royal blue patterned edging on the pockets, a _well_ -fitted patchwork tshirt made from printed scraps of fabric dyed blue and featuring cursive text, lion, crest, and fleur-de-lis patterns. This topped pre-distressed black jeans and grey sneakers, and she’d finished it off with a black choker from which hung a silver fleur-de-lis. It was the choker that made Souji feel uncomfortable; he just hoped Yosuke wouldn’t laugh. _Moth- er, dad’s sister - would have been horrified. Maybe it’s not so bad_.

He wondered what Yosuke was wearing, as Rise shooed him back into the waiting room, only to find that Yosuke was still changing.

* * *

Souji was looking at some display cases on the wall - wondering why _anyone_ would want to buy a diamond-studded charm shaped like a pacifier that was the size of his fist - when he heard the curtain shift behind him.

“Yo, partner?” 

Yosuke sounded as hesitant as he had, and Souji turned. When he did, his jaw dropped. 

“I…”

Yosuke was wearing a hooded, white sleeveless snow vest - lightly padded, enough to give texture but not obscure his figure - with a stylized flame pattern across the back and one of the pockets. Underneath it was a long-sleeved black t-shirt, fitted at least as well as the one Souji was wearing, with some nonsensical English phrase emblazoned across it, red-orange cargo pants that fit perfectly (or, a little _too_ well, if you asked Souji’s rapidly-overheating brain), white sneakers with orange trim, and a yellow scarf around his neck. 

“Does it look stupid?” Yosuke’s voice echoed his own from earlier, and Souji could barely get out the words. 

“Uh. _Noits’fine_. Er, more than fine?” He knew he was bright red, and prayed that Rise wasn’t watching from behind the curtains somewhere, although he knew she was.

Yosuke started to smirk at Souji’s reaction, but then took a look at what _Souji_ was wearing, and suddenly both boys were red and was it hot in there or was it just them?

“The choker isn’t too much?” Souji fiddled with it, uncomfortably.

“ _Hell no_.” Yosuke shoved his hands even deeper into his pockets to keep from grabbing. “It’s, uh. Yeah. Hey Rise, do we get to keep these when it’s over?” He looked, pointedly, at a section of curtain, and after a second, it lifted and she walked out, pouting.

“Aw, man. You guys were supposed to jump on each other or something!” They both _looked_ at her, and she giggled.

“Anyway, yeah. There’s a budget for this thing, so I figured I’d angle for you guys to get paid in these outfits. You could get cash if you prefer but I really caution you against getting your names on the company’s records this early, just sayin’.”

“Uh, no, I think these’ll be fine.” Souji smiled. “I’m still not sure about this necklace but… well, it’s my first real outfit that the Tokyo folks didn’t pick out for me. I like it.” He tried not to eye Yosuke. “We’ll both keep them.”

“What he said.” Yosuke kept his hands in his pockets; it was getting really hard not to get handsy. “I admit it, Rise, you’ve got good taste.”

“I know.” She grinned. “Souji-senpai, you should totally wear your glasses, too!”

“My- huh?” He looked at her, then at Yosuke, who shrugged. 

“I never told her, dude.”

“Oh, come _on_ , senpai!” She looked miffed. “It’s not hard to tell you’re wearing contacts, and I figure, knowing your wardrobe, your glasses are gonna be pretty swank. Besides, I can tell that Yosuke-senpai likes them."

“Hey!” Yosuke gave her a look, and she giggled again, running off to settle up with the shopkeeper, though she turned back at the door.

“Go ahead and change back, and you guys _better_ not get these dirty before the performance!”

They both gave her the _look_ again, turning red.

* * *

“Sometimes I don’t know how to handle Rise any more.” Yosuke sighed, sounding exhausted, as he flopped onto Souji’s couch.

Souji looked up from his folder, having been reading over his part again. “She’s coming into her own.”

“I know _that_.” Yosuke chuckled, settling back against the couch, arms wrapped around a pillow. “I just never realized the real Rise was so…”

“Such a trickster?” Souji grinned, putting the folder aside as he pulled the pillow out of Yosuke’s arms. “Reminds me of someone.”

“Dude.” Yosuke smiled, replacing the pillow with Souji as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. “I am _not_ a trickster!”

“Oh, I guess it was Teddie who put the rubber crickets in Chie’s shoe locker.”

Yosuke looked surprised. “ _Dammit_ , Chie-!”

Chuckling, Souji kissed his temple. “She’s got her self-confidence back, she knows what’s waiting for her, and she’s ready to take it, head-on. I think it’s admirable.”

“Mmm. Not wishing you’d held out for Rise, are you?” Yosuke’s voice was light, but there was an undercurrent that Souji recognized immediately as he tightened his embrace.

“Not in the least. The self-confident brunette in my arms is the only one for me.” Souji buried his face in Yosuke’s shoulder as his boyfriend smiled, leaning his head against Souji’s soft silver hair. 

“Glad to hear it.” A pause. “So, she put you in a suit jacket and wants you wearing glasses. She put me in a long-sleeved black shirt and red pants. Is it just me, or-”

“It’s not just you.” Souji shook his head, chuckling ruefully. “She’s _way_ too perceptive. Although I’m not sure where she would have seen me in a suit-”

“I er.” Yosuke rubbed his neck; Souji sat back to look at him, eyebrow raised. “I, er, might have mentioned that you looked just as good in a suit when she was complimenting how well you wear traditional clothes…”

For a second, he thought Souji was mad; it wasn’t until he heard the laughter welling up that he realized that the silver-haired boy was amused, not angry. “Oh, Yosuke.”

“What can I say?” He shrugged. “It’s true. And I’m not going to complain, that outfit was hot - _especially_ the choker.”

“Hmmm. Got a thing for collars?” Souji smirked, and Yosuke, turning red, swatted him.

“ _No_. Not like that, you pervert. Seriously. But that doesn’t mean I can’t like it, does it?”

“Not at all.” Souji caught Yosuke's hand before he could pull it back, kissing along the fingers. “It’s probably my fault, too; I’m pretty sure she caught me with my hands in the back pockets of those red pants at least twice, and everybody knows you keep your change in your shoe.”

“Oh, well.” Yosuke leaned against Souji’s shoulder, trying to hide his face as Souji continued to kiss his fingers. “I guess she doesn’t tease us that much in front of the others… and I kinda think that outfit is worth a little teasing.”

“Those _outfits_. Plural.” A smirk as he leaned over to nibble Yosuke’s ear, eliciting sighs from the brunette. “You wear that scarf and you can pretty much have your way with me.”

Raising his eyebrows, Yosuke looked up at Souji, smirking. “Oh, is that so?” As Souji nodded, bashfully, Yosuke grinned, turning to push Souji back against the couch. “Does it have to wait for the scarf? After all, Rise would kill us if anything happened to those outfits _before_ the concert.”

Souji pretended to think, but it only lasted seconds before Yosuke’s lips, ghosting across his neck, made him shiver. “F-fine… but after the concert…”

“After the concert, maybe I’ll buy a whole bunch, in different colours.” Leaning in, he kissed his boyfriend.

Souji could only moan.


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 45 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

“Guess what? Big bro is gonna play music with Rise-chan again!” 

Souji looked up, sharply, as the family sat around the dinner table; Yosuke was working that night at Junes, so it was just the Dojimas. He’d told Nanako about the concert, intending to ask Chie and Yukiko to take her - he’d planned to run it by Dojima as well, but hadn’t wanted to make a big deal about it. He certainly hadn’t expected Nanako to bring it up.

“I see.” Dojima looked at him. “Yosuke in trouble again?”

“No, it’s for Rise.” Souji shook his head. “She’s debuting a new song Yosuke and I helped her write, and she wanted us to play with her.” He made a show of taking more rice, and his father ‘hmmm’d.’

“You’re really serious about music, aren’t you?” His voice was gentle, and Souji looked back up, a touch surprised.

“Yeah.” Swallowing, he nodded. “I am.”

“What about law?”

“I’m serious about that, too. I just want to play and study music, too.”

Dojima looked at him for a while, and just as Souji was starting to feel uncomfortable under his gaze, he smiled slightly.

“What day? I don’t know that I can get time off, but I’ll try.”

“Yay!” Nanako clapped as Souji blinked; Dojima chuckled, quietly.

“Don’t look so shell-shocked. You want to make this a thing, the least I can do is support you.” Smiling, he reached over to ruffle Souji’s hair, and Souji found himself unable to hide his smile. “That’s right, smile more - you’re too serious, too often. Although I’ll admit you’ve been smiling more since Yosuke came around.”

“Yeah.” Souji's smile widened. “And thanks. I hope you can come, but I’ll understand if you can’t. Just tell me and I’ll ask Chie and Yukiko to take Nanako.”

The detective gave a rueful smile. “You know me too well, but I’ll see what I can do.”

* * *

School was out for the spring break by the time the concert rolled around - the rest of March had passed quickly and uneventfully. White day had come and gone with Souji and Yosuke spending the day together practicing - although they made sure to make a cake for Nanako, and Yosuke surprised Souji with chocolate roses - and by the day of the performance, they were both _relatively_ certain that they knew what they were doing.

They were standing behind the makeshift stage with Rise, trying not to listen to the crowd out front, when one of the sound crew came over with something in her hands. When she handed one each to Yosuke and Souji, the brunette realized what they were. 

“Sweet!” Yosuke grinned. “Earpiece mics! I guess this is a higher-class production than last time.” 

“Of _course_ it is, Yosuke-senpai.” Rise glared at him. “Anyway, it’s your fault for being shorter than Souji-senpai. If he’s playing violin and you’re both trying to sing backup the violin’s just going to be at mic level and everything will sound weird, so you get earpiece mics.”

Souji snickered and Yosuke turned red. “Wow, Rise, low blow.” 

“It’s cute, though.” She gave him her best grin, and he just sighed.

The sound tech - seemingly oblivious to the conversation, Souji guessed rightly that she was used to many weirder things going on backstage - fixed up their mics while Rise bounced off to check on the rest of the band. It wasn’t going to be a huge performance - just themselves, and some backup musicians - but Rise had put together a little dance routine for herself, and the boys had to admit that it was kind of cute.

When the mic setup was done, Souji slid over to stand beside Yosuke. 

“It bothers you?” His voice held the same undercurrent of uncertainty Yosuke’s had any time he was feeling uneasy, and the brunette looked up. 

“Huh? Wait, you mean the height thing?” He had to stop himself from grinning when he saw the serious look on his boyfriend’s face. “Dude, no.” Wrapping an arm around Souji’s waist, he leaned up to kiss his jaw. “Does that tell you how I feel?”

The silver-haired boy smiled shyly, and Yosuke looked away, rubbing his nose. “Besides.”

“Besides?” Souji raised an eyebrow; Yosuke wouldn’t look up at him.

“It’s not like I have to stand on tiptoes or anything, and it’s, um… kinda hot.” 

Souji blinked for a moment in surprise, then chuckled quietly as he nuzzled his nose into Yosuke’s hair. “I’ll remember that.”

* * *

Once they were on stage, it was magic all over again. They’d practiced together for the last week - with Rise for the last few days - and they were so much more confident than they had been the first time that everything flew off without a hitch. 

Yosuke, of course, was on top of the world; he was performing, on stage with Souji, _and nothing could ever be better_. At Rise’s request they kept the action minimal - she didn’t mind _some_ dancing around, but she was the centre of attention, after all, and neither of them begrudged it to her. Still, standing back-to-back - and side-by-side - with Souji through the performance made Yosuke happy, and he could tell Souji was enjoying it, too.

Souji, for his part, found himself having more fun than he did the first time; with no parents to worry about, even if the anxiety wasn’t _gone_ , it was greatly abated, and he was able to enjoy himself to his heart’s content - a fact that made Yosuke even happier.

They played the song from their first performance as an encore, and once it was over, they all met backstage, adrenaline as high as if they’d just been fighting shadows. 

“Awwwwright! That was amazing!” Rise was practically walking on air, she was so excited; she gave both of them high-fives at the same time. “There’s no way they can ignore that! You guys were great!”

“So were you.” Souji smiled, wiping his neck with a towel. 

“Yeah, and-”

Whatever Yosuke was going to say was cut off as two older gentlemen in suits walked up to the group. The elder of the two nodded, then turned. “Risette, do you have a moment?”

“Of course.” She grinned at the boys. “See you two later, we’ll get Aiya’s, okay?”

Once she was gone, the other gentleman - clearly a record label exec - turned to them and bowed. “My name is Ieda,” he said. “You are Hanamura and Narukami? The friends who helped Risette write her song?”

Souji had to kick Yosuke’s foot to keep him from snickering at the name. “He’s Yosuke Hanamura, I’m Souji Dojima. Yuu Narukami was just a pen name, for reasons I don’t want to get into.”

“Of course.” He gave a wide smile. “You two are very talented. Have you thought perhaps of going into the business yourselves?”

Yosuke’s eyes widened at this, and he looked up at Souji; surprised, he noticed that Souji’s expression hadn’t changed. _Huh?_

“We’ve discussed it.” Souji said, nodding. “Why do you ask?”

Not daunted by Souji’s placid expression, Ieda-san reached into his pocket, pulling out two business cards, and handed one to each boy. “You should think about it more than just ‘discussing it’. You two have talent, and it’s our business to make sure talent like yours gets its due. I can think of any number of up-and-coming groups that would be more than happy to fit one, or even both of you. What do you say?”

With the rapt expression with which Yosuke was staring at the business card, Souji realized it was up to him to respond; he opened his mouth, but was surprised when Yosuke looked up.

“I think we need to talk about it.” The shorter boy gave a charming smile - one Souji recognized from their first days together, when all he knew was the “everybody’s best friend” side his boyfriend had - and pocketed the business card. “We’ll contact you soon, I’m sure, but we’re both still underage - this isn’t the kind of decision we can make alone.”

“Of course, of course.” Ieda gave another smile - it wasn’t predatory, Souji didn’t get a _bad_ feeling about him - but it was definitely fake; this was his job, and he did it well. Just then, his partner came back with Rise. 

“Are you ready, Ieda?”

“Of course.” A nod to Rise, then to the boys again. “I do hope to hear from you soon.”

The two men left, and Rise eyed them. “Was Ieda-san trying to get you guys to sign up?”

“Yeah.” Souji slipped the card into his pocket. _I already know my answer, but I also know that my answer is going to depend - somewhat - on Yosuke’s_. He felt a little uneasy; the starstruck look hadn’t completely faded from his boyfriend’s face - but they’d talk about it when they had a chance. 

The redhead looked between the two of them, then shook her head. “It’s up to you guys. I just want you to promise me you’ll _really_ think about it - the pros and cons - before making any decisions.”

“Of course we will.” Yosuke shook his head. “We’re not industry-savvy like you, Rise, but I promise we’ll do our best.”

“Good.” She beamed at them. “Now the good news. They loved it!” She clapped, looking excited, and hugged them both, together. “Thank you _soooooo_ much!” 

“I’m glad to hear it.” The business card in his pocket threw a slight damper on the moment, but Souji _was_ happy for Rise, and he returned the hug. “So, I take it we’re all going to Aiya’s to eat?”

“Yeah!” She clapped. “You guys want to change, or-?” 

“Nah.” Yosuke smiled, hands in his pockets. “I kinda like it.”

“ _Souji-senpai_ likes it, you mean.” She giggled. “Okay, I’m gonna go change, you guys go find the others! We’ll all go!”

She bounced off before the guys could eye-roll at her, and they shrugged at each other.

“She not _wrong_ , but…” Yosuke chuckled. “Okay, let’s go look for the rest of the group.”

* * *

Souji had just slipped into the food court, eyes peeled for his friends, when Nanako came bouncing up to him. “Big bro! Big bro! You’re _amazing!_ ” He smiled, leaning down for a hug; Dojima walked up behind her. 

“I gotta say, you’re good.” His expression took Souji a moment to place, but once he realized Dojima was _proud_ of him, he found all of his worries taking a back seat.

“Thank you.” He gave his father a genuine smile, and Dojima hugged him briefly.

“Clothes are kinda weird, but I guess that’s show biz.” He rubbed the back of his head. “And you know… you don’t have to wait until I’m not around to practice, okay? I know you do, and I know _why_ , and I appreciate it, but… you’re family, and you deserve to be able to spend as much time as you need practicing, playing. Enjoying yourself. It’s your house, too.”

“Dad-” Souji couldn’t help choking up a bit, and Dojima hugged him again, this time just a smidge longer. 

“Come on, don’t make a big deal out of it.” He sounded embarrassed. “I guess you guys are going out with your friends?” At Souji’s nod, he took Nanako’s hand. “Go, have fun, don’t be out too late, okay? It’s not a school night so I’m not gonna nag you about curfew, I just expect you two to be mindful of the time.”

“Thank you!” Souji smiled, pausing for a moment to give him a look of gratitude that said more than words could have, then watched them head for the exit before going off to find his friends.


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 46 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads' up - I'm in Japan right now so my posting schedule is going to be erratic for a bit, as not only do I have less time, but I won't be posting at my usual times. It's not on hold, though, and I'm actually getting so much inspiration!
> 
> Also a note: I always felt like the 'investigation' part of the True Ending (figuring out who was behind everything) was a bit of a stretch, so it didn't pain me when the story decided I didn't need to add that bit.

The rest of the group was waiting around the side of the stage; when Souji walked up, Chie slapped his shoulder.

“That was _cool_ , dude! I tell you, I’d never want to be up there, but you and Yosuke certainly seemed to be on fire.”

“It was very impressive, senpai.” Naoto smiled.

Shrugging, Souji smiled, standing a little behind Yosuke’s shoulder. “It was fun. It’s what we want to do when we graduate college, after all.”

“Man, I need to start thinking about that.” Chie gave a heavy sigh. “Hard to believe our third year is about to start, isn’t it?”

“ _Your_ third year.” Naoto smiled. “Still, it’s not a bad idea. I believe we were all gathered to congratulate Rise, though, did we want to go Aiya’s?”

“Nah, something like this calls for Okina City.” Yosuke grinned. “It’s barely mid afternoon. Whaddya say, Risette, oh-Ms-star-of-the-hour?”

“Karaoke!” Rise threw a fist into the air. “Karaoke and monjayaki!”

“Oh man, I haven’t had that in _forever!_ ” Chie grinned. “Sounds good!”

“You good, partner?” Yosuke smiled at Souji, who smiled back.

“Never had it, so I’m up for it.”

“Whaaaaat? Senpai, how-?” Rise looked stunned, and Yosuke side-eyed his partner.

“Let me guess, your parents thought it was too low-class.”

“Yeah.” A shrug. “Not a big deal now, right?” The boyfriends exchanged warm smiles – Chie fake gagged again – and everyone laughed as they headed off to the station.

* * *

For the most part, Souji was content to sit back and listen to the others singing; Yosuke pulled him into a couple of duets, as did Rise, and he couldn’t get by without Teddie making him sing once or twice himself, but for the most part he was happy to watch his friends. _It’s still hard to realize that I’m here for good, and I don’t have to leave._ He enjoyed little moments like this, when he could sit and let it all soak in, all the little things he never wanted to take for granted and that he’d worried he’d never have again.

It was hard for him to remember sometimes that _he_ had a say, too. He was the master of his future now, even if his plans were to always be with Yosuke. Yosuke sat beside him when he wasn’t up singing alone or with Rise; his partner’s hand was warm against his, even when they weren’t actively holding hands. The smiles Yosuke gave him every time their eyes met were so happy and full of affection that Souji found his worry over their interaction with Ieda that afternoon fading somewhat; _whatever we decide, we’ll decide together_.

Once they were hoarse and hungry, the group headed out for the new monja place that had opened down the street; Souji and Yosuke split a cheese monjayaki with spring onions. They were just grilling their order when Chie – who’d ordered steak, of course – looked up.

“Oh, yeah! What’s with those outfits?” She grinned. “All fancy-like. Rise, you had a hand in it, didn’t you?”

“Yep! You like ‘em?” Rise grinned, and Yosuke raised an eyebrow at her as she winked. “I just picked out what I knew they’d each like – after all, doesn’t Yosuke-senpai look hot, Souji-senpai?”

“Wha-?” The silver-haired boy spluttered, turning red, and everyone at the table broke into laughter even as Yosuke slid a hand under the table – when no one was looking – and put it on Souji’s knee, making his boyfriend flush harder.

“So I guess the answer is yes.” Yukiko was off on one of her giggling fits, and Teddie leaned around. “Does that mean that sensei thinks Sou-kun’s outfit is _bear_ -riffic?”

“ _Dude_ , one, that’s none of your business and two, _cut out the bear jokes!_ ”

Everyone laughed again, and Souji and Yosuke shared a warm but embarrassed smile.

Yukiko tilted her head. “I like Souji-kun’s the most."

“As if!” Chie’s response was immediate. “Yosuke’s is the coolest.”

Grinning, Yosuke shot a look at Souji before turning back. “Ladies, ladies. Please don’t fight over us!”

Yukiko turned pink and Chie spluttered; Teddie whined. “ _Sennnnsei_ , that’s _my_ line!”

The girls turned around and smacked him.

* * *

They came back from Okina as the sun was setting, and the boys walked home together, hand-in-hand, not saying much, just enjoying each other’s company. When they got to the floodplain, Yosuke tugged on Souji’s hand, pulling him towards the water; Souji, sensing that Yosuke wanted to talk, followed without question.

They sat and watched the river flow for a time; eventually, Yosuke looked over at Souji. “Today was good. It was a lot of fun.”

“Yeah.” Souji smiled, wrapping an arm around Yosuke’s waist. “It was.”

“And about Ieda-san…” Yosuke raised both eyebrows, with a small shrug. “Well. What do you think?”

Souji bit his lip; he’d been planning to wait for Yosuke to make a choice first before saying anything, but as he’d thought earlier – _this is my future, too_. He shook his head.

“I don’t think it’s right for us. I’m willing to talk about it – in the end I want us to do whatever we’re going to do together – but for one thing, I know what Rise has said about those labels and I don’t think we’re at all ready to take that sort of thing on. Rise’s been through it before and she’s done a lot of research. We haven’t.”

Falling silent – he had more to say, but didn’t want to dump everything out at once and stifle the discussion – he watched the brunette’s face, anxiously; he might know that Yosuke wouldn’t just get upset with something he said like that, but it was one thing to know, and another to _feel_.

To his surprise, Yosuke nodded. “I agree, and let’s be real – neither of us want to be in a boy band, we want to play music together, _our_ music, and we’d lose that if we went into it now. Who knows if we’d ever get it back? We’d lose out on all the time we had to play together, grow together, create our sound together, and I’m not willing to sacrifice that. Besides, you know we’d get typecast as boy band members even if we didn’t make it big, and that would just make it harder for us to move on to our own style.” Watching Souji’s jaw drop, he chuckled. “What, did you think I wanted to do it?”

“Well… yeah.” Souji had to admit it. “After all, you were looking pretty star-struck earlier.”

Yosuke had the grace to blush at this. “To be fair, you can’t admit it wasn’t cool.” When Souji gave a noncommittal nod and shrug, Yosuke laughed, leaning against his arm. “Anyway. I’ll email him or something, unless you want to, or maybe we both should. We can talk about it tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Souji leaned into Yosuke’s embrace and they watched the sun set together in happy silence. As the twilight deepened to purple, he turned, smiling.

“Today really was amazing, and you really look good in that.”

“Mmmm. So do you.” Youske wrapped his hand around Souji’s, tangling their fingers together. “Wish we could go home together.”

“Your folks going to be home tonight?” Souji suppressed a sigh; it’s not like Dojima wasn’t home, anyway.

“Yeah, Dad was super happy about the boost in publicity from the performance, so he took the evening off so we could all spend some family time together.”

“That’s nice.” Souji pressed a kiss to his temple. “You don’t get a lot of that.”

“Yeah, but…” Yosuke eyed Souji. “Well, we’ll have some free time in the next few days before school starts back."

“That we will.” Souji leaned in, kissing Yosuke in the last haze of twilight.

* * *

Souji was home, changed, and showered when he got a phone call from Yosuke. Answering immediately – Yosuke rarely called in the evenings, usually sticking to texts, since it was so hard for him to get any kind of privacy from Teddie – he didn’t bother to hide his puzzlement.

“Yosuke? What’s up?”

“Uh, partner.”

At the tone of his boyfriend’s voice, Souji immediately sat up. “What’s wrong?”

“Well… I got a letter today. From Adachi.”

“ _What?_ ” Souji was already on his feet, moving to his bedroom door. “I’ll tell dad, I’m sure-“

“ _Wait_.” Yosuke’s tone was strained, and Souji stilled, his hand still on the doorknob. “It – he says some stuff, I don’t want to go into it over the phone, but Souji… he says he doesn’t think _it’s_ over.”

By ‘it’s over’, Souji immediately knew that Yosuke was talking about the Shadow World. “But we took out that one thing – the Sagiri thing.” He was glad to hear his voice wasn’t shaking, no matter how alarmed he was.

“Yeah, we did. But it’s just – I don’t know if we can ignore this. I wanted to call you first… I’m gonna send out a text, I want everybody to meet tomorrow at Junes.”

“You got it, leader. _Partner_.” _If it’s not over, then all I can do is support him_.

The thought – that it wasn’t over, that there was more, that they’d gone through it all for nothing – _not for nothing_ , his logic whispered, but it was hard to hear – made Souji’s hands shake, but he kept it out of his voice. “Come over tomorrow, I’ll make breakfast and we’ll head to Junes together.”

“Sounds good.” Yosuke’s voice was still strained, but there was a note of relief to it that made Souji feel warm inside. _At least I can do this much_.

* * *

He was laying in bed later, unable to sleep; after a while, he picked up his phone.

> Doing okay?

It didn’t surprise him when he got a message back almost immediately. 

> eh i mean its freaky but well deal rite we alwaz do

> n u’ll b ther 2 so well do it rite

A small, secret smile crept over Souji's face; he found himself nodding as he responded.

> Always.

* * *

“ _Whaaaat?_ ” Chie and Kanji exclaimed in unison, then looked at each other and shrugged.

“Yeah.” Yosuke held up the letter, which Naoto promptly took and scanned.

“It is Adachi-san’s handwriting. His turn of phrasing too.”

Everyone sat at the table, the atmosphere completely muted from the previous day. “But… what do we _do?_ ” Rise looked troubled. It’s over. It was over! And I’m leaving, I can’t just-”

“Shit, that’s right.” Yosuke frowned. “How many days?”

“Two.” She looked upset. “Senpai, we don’t-”

“Hang on, let me _think_.” Yosuke had closed his eyes; he now held up a hand. Souji slid his hand along the seat, laying it over his boyfriend’s other hand; the brunette quirked the corner of his mouth up, almost imperceptibly; finally he smiled.

“Okay then. Let’s try to figure this thing out, yeah? We’ve managed more than once on short notice, and this is no different.” He looked back at the letter. “Where it all began…”

Souji leaned over. “That first murder, right? Mayumi… Yamato? Naoto, do you have some sort of timeline?”

Clearing her throat, the detective nodded, pulling out a small notepad. “Yamano. And I do. The first murder was discovered-” She flipped through some pages. “April 12th, midday. No time of death was ever pinpointed, but that’s because she died in the TV and appeared here.” She handed the pad to Souji.

“April 12th?” Souji looked startled. “That was the day after I got to Inaba, the first day of school, right?”

“Hey, wait, you’re right.” Yosuke leaned over his shoulder; his breath was warm against Souji’s ear, although it was clearly unintentional, and the taller boy had to will himself to focus. “It was that night we watched the Midnight channel, right? When I got sucked in - well, partway - the first time.” He looked up at Chie for verification; she nodded.

“Man, where did we hear about that, anyway?” She was leaning over, too, trying to read the notepad, but as it was upside-down she gave up after a few moments. Yosuke _looked_ at her.

“ _You_ , dumbass. Don’t you remember? We were hanging out here - you, me, Kou, and Daisuke - and you asked us if we’d tried it.”

“That’s right.” She scowled. “You guys all _laughed_ at me.”

“Sorry.” Yosuke scratched the back of his neck. “You’ve got to admit, though, it’s pretty unbelievable on the surface.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” She shrugged. “Still… I wonder where I heard about it.”

Yosuke looked at Souji. “So, that really was your first day here?” A pause. “Wait… I kinda remember, now… I’d stopped at the gas station to fill my scooter up and I was talking to the gas station attendant when you guys pulled up, your uncle needed to tank up, right?”

“Oh, yeah.” Souji looked thoughtful. “It’s so long ago, I didn’t really remember - I walked with Nanako to the bathroom area because the attendant was being rude, I think. I remember that he was talking to someone, I guess that was you? Then, he came over to fill up uncle’s car.” 

“That attendant was weird, anyway.” Yosuke spoke slowly, lost in thought. “We were talking about how far away from anything this place was, and then he got this strange look when your car drove up, and when you walked Nanako off to the bathroom, he kinda watched you walk off? Like, I understand why you felt like you needed to keep an eye on Nanako, though I think… he was watching you, not her.. And then he snapped back and looked at me for a few seconds, then just smiled and… offered me a job?” He shook his head. “No, he said something about guessing things might be about to pick up and then offered me a job, shook my hand, and walked over to talk to Dojima-san.” A pause. “I remember feeling pretty shitty after that, so I headed home and slept the rest of the evening.”

Everybody looked at him, and Chie spoke up, also speaking slowly. “You know… I used to have to go to that gas station like twice a week because my cousin was obsessed with collecting some promo figures they had with their coffee, I think that _was_ last year, around this time.”

“I remember that. You asked if we had them at Junes, but ours weren’t the right episode or season or something.”

“Yeah, I dunno, he’s weird. Anyway. Now that I come to think of it, I think it was somebody at that gas station that told me about the midnight channel, anyway.”

Everybody around the table started to look at each other; Naoto reached over for her notepad. “You know. The Midnight channel came up a lot when we were interviewing people about the murders. It was a huge topic, like it was a new rumour.”

“And Adachi says something right here about finding the source.” Yosuke looked down at the letter. “I think we have a gas station to go check out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **monjayaki** \- a pan-fried batter (much like okonomiyaki) that's mostly popular in the Kanto region. It's waterier than okonomiyaki, and you eat it directly from the grill on small spatulas.


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 47 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope this flows well. There was so much I wanted to add, so much I had to leave out; I hope it makes sense and that all my intentions are clear. Apologies on the lateness, but I should be back to a regular posting schedule within the next week!

“If you kids don’t mind, I kind of have a job to do.” The gas attendant - expression mildly hostile, baseball cap pulled down over greasy locks to obscure his eyes - started to turn away; as he did, Yosuke stepped forward, ignoring the drizzling rain.

“Then mind telling me what you did to me? To Adachi, and Namatame? We know it was you.”

The attendant stopped, mid-turn; for a second, Souji wasn’t sure what to expect, and he stepped forward, placing himself at his boyfriend’s side, partially between the two. At this, the attendant smirked. 

“The red string never lies, no matter what unbelievers might say.”

This was not what Yosuke was expecting; he blinked. “Huh?”

The mysterious man threw his head back, laughing; there was something otherworldly about it, and the entire group tensed up, Souji narrowing his eyes - not even sure if it _was_ a man, only certain that this was what they’d been looking for, the origin of the Midnight channel, the start of everything they’d been through.

“What did I do, you ask? Nothing other than awaken the spark you already had. I almost didn’t recognize it, but fate has a funny way of coming clear at the most opportune time, doesn’t it? No sooner had I recognized one end of the string than the other end showed up; despite not even knowing one another then you make a very formidable pair now, don’t you?”

Souji and Yosuke looked at one another; Yosuke raised an eyebrow and looked back. “Wait, so you’re saying that Souji and I-” A pause. _Not time to get side-tracked_. “What about Adachi, and Namatame? Did you greet them, too?”

“Of course. So many people stop by, and some of them even stay; what better way to stir up this town, give people the excitement they so crave?”

“Of all the- _excitement?_ People are dead! who do you think you are?” Chie stepped forward, fists balled, looking angry; at this, the attendant laughed, and in a flash had transformed into a white-robed figure, a woman with angry red eyes, rain-soaked hair, and a proud expression etched across her face, skin paper-white as if cast from the finest porcelain.

“I have gone by many names; you may call me Izanami.” She smirked as Souji started, eyes widening, and she then looked back at Yosuke. “Who I am is unimportant, however, unless you can find me. If you really wish to find the truth, come and find _me_ ; you will regret it, but if I know anything it is that mankind refuses to acknowledge its limits.”

With another flash, “Izanami” disappeared; the group stood there, dumbfounded, for about fifteen seconds before turning to each other. 

“Did that really just-” Chie scratched her head, and Yosuke sighed. 

“Yeah. Well, at least we found what we were looking for.” He looked around the group. “Rise leaves in two days; she’ll be back for holidays and breaks, but that’s not the same, and I don’t know about you guys, but-”

“But I want to finish this!” Rise looked determined. “I couldn’t move away knowing this was unfinished, it wouldn’t be right!”

“Exactly.” They’d formed an impromptu huddle in the now-empty gas station service area, under the canopy. “Everybody in?”

“You better believe it!” Chie pumped her fist before throwing a hand out; one by one, they all piled their hands on top of hers. “All right, let’s do this!”

With a brief cheer they separated, making plans to meet at Junes in an hour. As the group scattered, Yosuke looked at Souji, a wry smile on his face.

“Red string, eh?”

“I guess so.” A small smile as Yosuke bumped shoulders with him. “Izanami, though?”

“Yeah?” Yosuke raised an eyebrow.

“You really _don’t_ listen in class, do you? I’m pretty sure they’ve covered it a few times - Izanami and Izanagi, the gods who created Japan? Amaterasu, Susano-o, Take-mikazuchi, all of our personas… they’re all named for gods. Even the Sagiri monsters were.” He shook his head as they began to walk. “I’d always thought it was… I don’t know, coincidence? But this…” Shaking his head, he shoved his hands into his pockets as Yosuke looked over at him.

“But now? You think she’s real? That Izanami’s actually a real god?” For the first time, Yosuke looked hesitant, and Souji shrugged.

“I think she’s more powerful than anything we’ve ever faced before, and that we’re going to have to be _really_ careful.”

Yosuke was silent for a few minutes; finally he looked over. “So Izanagi was married to Izanami, right?”

“Yes?” The silver-haired boy raised an eyebrow.

“That kinda pisses me off.” Yosuke scowled. “If this Izanami thinks she’s got any kind of hold over you because of your persona, well… I’m definitely gonna kick her ass.”

Souji chuckled, reaching for his boyfriend’s hand. “You don’t have to worry, partner.”

* * *

Rise wrinkled her nose as soon as they stepped into the Shadow World. “Woww, that Izanami sure is confident, I could probably find her without even summoning Kouzeon.” She pointed. “You know what, she pisses me off. Let’s go kick her butt, senpai!”

Souji gave a wry smile. “I agree, but let’s be careful. There’s something about her that makes my neck prickle.”

“Awww, come on.” Chie grimaced. “We’ve been through way more than this, you know? This is it, the end, we can totally do it!”

“Souji’s right.” Yosuke, who’d been checking the balance on his kunai, looked up. “Something tells me this is going to be worse than everything we’ve been through so far, put together, so let’s not be stupid. That being said, we’re not gonna let her order us around, either.” As he looked around, everyone nodded; shouldering their weapons for what they hoped was the last time, they headed off in the direction Rise had indicated.

* * *

“The hell is that?” Kanji sounded disgusted.

Around the foggy room - vague shapes of torii surrounding them as unseen water lapped at the edge of their consciousness - everyone who was still standing recoiled as Izanami, with her elegant illusion torn to shreds by some mysterious power of Yosuke’s, mutated into a monster, dripping maggots and ichor, a figure out of the worst nightmares.

“You wish to see the truth? So be it. No matter how hard you try, how far you’ve come, you’ll never be able to defeat me.” Izanami’s voice echoed across the room even as she raised a hand; Kanji dodged the bolt of lightning she summoned only to be sent flying as he ran to try to protect Naoto, who was already collapsed in a pile of shallow breaths and pained moans. Yukiko had her hands full, trying to protect Chie’s downed form; Teddie was slumped near Rise, who was doing her best to support Yosuke and Souji even as her hands shook from terror and exhaustion.

Souji had never been so tired, or felt so numb; he’d been terrified as his friends started to drop, but his exhaustion was so strong now that even the horrific visage of the decaying goddess did little to repulse him. The high and thrill of fighting beside Yosuke had long since ebbed; now all he could do was hold on to what little leeway they had and do his best to protect his partner.

Beside him, Yosuke’s laboured breathing told the same story as Souji’s sweat-streaked glasses; for the first time he was _truly_ scared, not for himself but for his friends, for Souji. _We’ve got to finish this. Igor, Margaret both seemed to think we were enough, but why can’t we keep up?_

Just then, everything happened at once. A bony, clawed hand caught Yukiko by the hair, throwing her to the side into an unmoving heap even as Chie struggled - and failed - to stop it; Izanami raised half a dozen other hands, gesturing, palm-out, at Yosuke.

“You’ve come so far, but your struggles are futile; you will die here, and soon mankind will have the bliss of ignorance they so crave.” 

Roiling darkness formed below the brunette’s feet; it had only just begun to lap at the soles of his shoes when Souji felt _something_ whisper to him - be it instinct or Izanagi - and in that brief moment he remembered the ski trip, the desperation of almost losing Yosuke, his partner, his other half, and his body moved of its own accord, barrelling forward to knock his boyfriend aside, sending him flying even as the ground shifted, melted, and skeletal hands grabbed him. He struggled, but he was so weak, so tired - and so glad that he’d managed to save Yosuke - that he couldn’t fight them; each touch lanced through him with icy agony, and as his consciousness faded, he heard Yosuke’s strangled cry of despair. 

He had one last, fleeting thought.

_But I didn’t mean to make you sad, I only wanted to save you._

* * *

It took Yosuke a second to pick himself up from the floor after Souji knocked him to the side; it wasn’t until then that he realised what had happened, and he could only watch in horror as his boyfriend struggled against the spell that had been meant for _him_ , pulled through the darkness into who-knows-where. Pain spread through his chest, and he gripped his kunai, barely able to snarl through grit teeth, trying to force himself to breathe. 

It was just him versus Izanami now; he _had_ to win, _had_ to, or else Souji’s sacrifice- 

_I won’t finish that thought._

_I’m going to destroy her, then I’m going to find him._

Reaching into his soul, he summoned Susano-o, commanding him to fight. As he did, he missed the darkness forming beneath his feet.

By the time he felt the first bony, icy hand, it was too late.

* * *

“Welcome to the Velvet Room.”

When Souji came to, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting; he _did_ know enough to know that a strange, long-nosed old man seated beside a woman with hair so blonde it was nearly white, in what appeared to be a car furnished in deep blue velvet, was not it.

 _Yosuke_. 

Panicked, Souji looked around. “Where am I? Where’s Yosuke? Where’s Izanami? I have to get back, you can’t hold me here-”

“No one is holding you.” The woman - it had been the man who’d spoken first - looked up; she was also clad in deep blue, and held a book on her lap. “This is a place between worlds, between minutes, out of time and place, and you are here for a reason; no one just ‘comes’ to the Velvet Room.”

“Indeed.” The old man chuckled, crossing his hands in front of his face. “In fact, this is quite an unusual situation; two contracts exist, but only one has been made. The same, yet not the same; two haves of a whole, both existing separately and together.” He rubbed his hands. “Yes, yes, this is special indeed. The Fool has been named; now we welcome you, Magician. The Fool plays his part now, but your time is soon at hand…”

* * *

Fog drifted across a featureless landscape; Yosuke lay still, face-down. 

_Am I dead? I must be dead. I don’t care any more_.

He’d been defeated, Izanami had killed him, and worse, she’d killed Souji. Nothing mattered. Not even his friends could rouse him from his lethargic despair; their words were uplifting, but his heart had died with Souji and his bonds rattled in the empty space, trying to fill a void that could never be healed. Their words, their pleas called to him from across an abyss for which there was no bridge, no means to cross. 

They’d been through so much, the group; given all they’d seen, one could feasibly suggest that Souji wasn’t actually dead - stranger things had happened in their time inside the Shadow World, and they’d all come out of it remarkably unscathed. The crack in his soul told Yosuke differently, however. He knew it was real, that Souji had _died_ , died to save him, and nothing would ever be the same again. Even as his friends’ encouragements urged him on, he lay still, his lips only able to form one muffled, choked word.

 _Souji_.

He would have cried if he’d had a corporeal form.

Time passed, seconds and aeons, years and minutes; finally, Jiraiya - still with him, for whatever it was worth - sent a wordless command. 

_Get up. Move forward_.

Numb and uncaring, Yosuke almost ignored it; but he couldn’t, not with their bond. Slowly pushing himself to his feet, he dragged himself along, one foot in front of the other, a single, aching step at a time.

Suddenly, a voice echoed through the void, thrumming through his entire being. 

“Come, Yosuke, you can’t stay down forever. You’ve never given up before; you can’t start now.”

In that soundless abyss, there was no way to speak, to register his surprise; a glint caught his eye and as he looked down, he saw the promise ring Souji had given him, except that it wasn’t a ring, it was a red string, tied in a bow, glowing in the un-light of his surroundings. A glowing red thread stretched into the fog; remembering Izanami’s earlier words, he started to follow it.

“Who are you?” 

His heart's question echoed in the silence, soundless and massive, even as he both did and did not know the answer.

“The Fool is the wild card, the promise and potential for everything and nothing, all at once. You know this, but do you know the role of the Magician?”

 _Of course I don’t_. Yosuke continued to stumble forward, following the string; as he did, the fog lightened and he could see a familiar figure; his heart - not broken or dead after all, but trembling in disbelief and anticipation - lifted, and the voice continued.

“The Magician is the bridge between God and land, heaven and earth, and I am here to guide you; you are our leader, and without the Fool, the Magician is nothing. Come back, Yosuke - come back to us, come back to _me_.” The fog lifted, and suddenly _Souji_ was there, both himself and not himself, and when he smiled, Yosuke felt the pieces inside his soul _click_. The aching void was gone, and Yosuke could see his friends' silhouettes in the distance. As Souji held out a hand, Yosuke realised that Souji was always there, was always waiting; he would always _be_ there, would always _be_ waiting.

Even a goddess could not separate them. Together, they were the World, and nothing would part them again.

With a strangled sob, Yosuke took Souji’s hand; suddenly everything was too bright, too loud, too _real_ , and when he looked around, he found that they were standing back in Yomi, an enraged Izanami floating before them. 

“What is this? I will show you the meaning of pain!” She raised her arms in another gesture; Souji and Yosuke looked at one another, nodding, as they gripped their weapons and summoned their personas.

As they did, however, a strange thing happened. Izanagi and Jiraiya both appeared, as usual; Jiraiya, however, floated down to stand behind Souji, and Izanagi took his place with Yosuke. As he did, he transformed - a new Izanagi, glowing white and gold, bearing a giant sword instead of his usual naginata. Neither boy had time to question this, nor did they feel the need to; Souji merely gestured to Jiraiya and the air around them stilled, absorbing and negating Izanami’s attack as the skeletal hands reached and grasped at nothing.

This enraged the goddess further; she gestured again and white lightning crackled everywhere; Souji merely closed his eyes, and together he and Jiraiya deflected her attacks, again and again, until Izanami screamed in frustration. 

“How can this be? How can you be as strong as me, who is a god?!”

The echo of her words died, and another voice whispered through Yomi; it was quiet, but held a gravitas that belied its tranquility. When Souji turned, he saw Izanagi floating behind Yosuke; the brunette's eyes glowed silver and he spoke in a voice that was familiar but also so alien that it made Souji shiver.

_You are not the only god present. Remember. Remember. An ancient vow to protect, given aeons, lifetimes ago, made manifest today. Lives given and traded; you will not take them today, nor ever again._

The words echoed through their hearts, through the silence, through time and space; Yosuke raised a hand, throwing it out towards Izanami, and Izanagi made a sweeping gesture with his sword, cutting an invisible cord between them and the goddess as she staggered, screaming, even as she slumped to the ground, already beginning to dissolve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **torii** \- a traditional Japanese gate, or archway, usually found at the entrance to (or within) Shinto shrines. Often painted orange, some shrines feature hundreds of torii in rows (such as at Fushimi Inari-Taisha, the main Inari shrine in Japan)


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 48 of Thawing a Frozen heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnd I'm back. Did some writing on trains and buses where I could, should be back to a regular schedule once I've slept a bit. Every time I go to Japan it's harder to leave; I may eventually just move there. Got so much P4 stuff, also tonnes ( _tonnes_ ) of inspiration.
> 
> Lots, lots, lots of fluff (and innuendo) here. I needed this.

“Children of man, _well done_.” 

Izanami’s final words echoed even after she disappeared; the group - battered and bruised, but _alive_ \- let out ragged cheers, crowding around Yosuke, who still stood with his hands clenched, having stood firm until the end against the goddess’s insistence that mankind wanted nothing more than ignorance. Oddly enough, she’d seemed proud, once convinced.

As Izanami faded away, Yosuke turned. His friends surrounded him but he only had eyes for Souji; their gaze met across the group, both boys looking as if they’d just finished a marathon after three nights of no sleep. As Souji smiled, Yosuke’s heart clenched. So much had happened, too many things to think or talk about - some that they would want to keep private - and he only had room for one thought in his heart. 

_I can’t ever lose him again_.

The others sensed, perhaps, the atmosphere; Rise and Chie stepped aside. Yosuke closed the distance between himself and Souji, pulling the silver-haired boy into his arms; they usually weren’t so openly affectionate, but they'd almost lost each other, and right now, neither of them cared. Souji wrapped his arms around Yosuke’s waist, burying his face in the brunette’s shoulder.

The others smiled at this; Rise had seen everything - except for what had happened in the in-between world of fog and miracles - and Chie and Naoto had seen a little. Chie rested her head on Yukiko’s shoulder, their arms linked; Naoto made a show of checking over Kanji’s bruises to hide her blush. For a short time, everyone just rested, safe in the knowledge that it was _over_ , finally _over_ , that their friends and loved ones were safe.

“Don’t ever _do_ that again. I almost lost you, I don’t know what I’d _do_ without you…” Yosuke murmured quietly in Souji’s ear, his words only for his boyfriend, and his voice was choked; he buried his face in Souji’s hair as Souji tightened his arms. 

“I’m sorry.” The reply was quiet, hoarse; Souji’s tone held none of the ringing surety that it had earlier, in his guise as the Magician. “I don’t think I can promise that, though… do you think _I_ could live without _you?_ ”

Yosuke sighed into his hair and they just held each other. Souji was listening to Yosuke’s breathing, marvelling over all they’d learned, that _somehow_ they’d made it through, when Teddie suddenly gasped.

“Sensei - everyone - _look!_ ”

Yosuke raised his head, looking around; his jaw dropped as Rise, beside him, gasped, followed by the others. 

“Omigosh, it’s so _pretty!_ ” Rise put her hands over her mouth, blinking away the tears in her eyes; Souji raised his head from Yosuke’s shoulder and stared. They were surrounded by a beautiful, serene landscape - dew-laden flowers, fields of grass and wheat, crystal lakes and rivers, distant forests and mountains, trees through whose branches a fresh breeze rustled. Birds and butterflies darted about; it looked like the kind of place you’d see in picture-perfect travel brochures.

“Wow. Is this-?”

Teddie stood in front of them, a new light in his eyes. “I _remember_ this place! This is how it was a long time ago, before the fog and the shadows!”

“So _this_ is the world inside people’s hearts.” Yukiko smiled, squeezing Chie’s hand. 

“I guess this really means it’s over.” Kanji’s words cast a solemn silence over the group, as they all stood together, holding hands or leaning against one another; the air was cool and crisp, and they all found themselves feeling stronger and better for it. They stood that way for a time, admiring the serene beauty; suddenly, however, Rise staggered.

“Sorry.” Her expression was one of embarrassment. “I’m just kinda tired.”

“I think we all are.” Yosuke frowned. “Sorry. I should have been paying better attention. This place is amazing, but it’ll be here; we’ll have time to check it out later. Right now, we all need sleep.” He crouched down. “Hop on, I’ll carry you.”

“Awww, senpai.” Rise looked as if she wanted to say more, but she was cut off by a massive yawn.

Once she was settled, they started in the direction of the exit; Teddie was able to lead them, as he seemed to remember a lot more about this place now that the fog had lifted.

Souji kept near Rise and Yosuke, as Kanji helped Naoto, and Yukiko helped Chie; they were just coming to the entrance when they heard a frantic yipping heading straight for them. Souji tensed when an orange streak barreled directly for Yosuke; his boyfriend, however, just laughed.

“Well, hello. I guess you like this place a lot better now that it’s clear, don’t you?”

Another yip, and the orange streak resolved into a joyous fox, one Souji recognized from some of their trips to the shrine. It danced around Yosuke, holding something in its mouth, and the brunette smiled.

“Really? Well, it’s much appreciated. Hey, guys, hold up a sec.”

Crouching, he let Rise down, then took the fox’s gift - it appeared to Souji to be a handful of leaves - and offered one to each person. Souji took one, looking at it with uncertainty, though he noticed that nobody else seemed fazed; Chie, who was already chewing on hers, nudged his shoulder.

“Go ahead! They taste kinda medicine-y, but they’re really great, especially when you’re tired.”

Warily, he put it into his mouth and started to chew; Chie was right about the taste, but it was no worse than some teas he’d had. A few seconds later, however, he no longer noticed the taste; he could feel his energy returning at an incredible rate, and when he looked around he realized it wasn’t just him. Rise was standing straighter, Naoto was no longer leaning so heavily on Kanji’s arm, and the sparkle in Yosuke’s eye was stronger. The brunette chuckled at the look of surprise on Souji’s face.

“I know, partner, it’s weird, right? It works, though, and the fact that she’s letting us have them for free means she’s really happy, probably about this.” He gestured to the world around them. “Usually, I end up having to make a pretty hefty donation at the shrine whenever she helps us out. Not that I mind,” he added. The fox yipped, dancing around them once more before bounding off.

Feeling much better - and not looking so exhausted - they made it back to the electronics department at Junes. 

“I think I’m gonna go home and sleep for a week.” Chie yawned.

“No sleeping for a week!” Rise stamped her foot. “I leave in two days, remember?”

“Yep, we’ll have to have a party tomorrow.” Yosuke - his arm around Souji’s waist - nodded. “A celebration and a farewell.”

“I’ll cook,” Souji added, before anyone else could volunteer; Kanji gave him a grateful look, but Rise pouted.

“ _Sennnnnnnpai_ …”

The silver-haired boy chuckled. “You can help with the curry, does that work?”

“Yay!” She clapped. “I can’t wait to cook for you guys, I hear that Yosuke-senpai had to stomach something _too_ horrible for words last year!”

“Rise Kujikawa, if you weren’t leaving in two days…” Chie scowled, and Yukiko giggled.

“If she hadn’t almost killed us with her omelettes I would feel more insulted.” She burst into one of her laughing fits as Rise pouted, and Chie rolled her eyes.

“Ohhhh boy, here we go again. I think we’ll head home; let’s figure everything out through texts once we’ve all had a chance to rest.”

At this, Teddie turned. “Sensei, is it okay if I go back for a little while? That world - it’s so familiar, I want to explore a bit. I’m sure I’ll remember so much more when I’m there.”

Yosuke nodded. “Just make sure to stop by tomorrow so you don’t miss the party.”

“Okay!” With a wave, the bear bounded off as the group split up and Yosuke - who was still holding onto Souji’s waist - looked sideways at his boyfriend.

“Teddie’s gone, my folks are working… come home with me.” There was a desperate light in his eyes and Souji, who understood something of what he was feeling, nodded.

“Let me text dad.” He reached for his phone, but Yosuke had already grabbed his hand. 

“Later. It’s not like he’d worry until some time after dinner, and it’s only mid afternoon.”

The brunette was already dragging his boyfriend along, out of Junes; Souji followed, feeling his pulse hammer under Yosuke’s fingers, each one hot against his skin. The walk felt far too long; they passed it together in silence, but given all they’d been through, it wasn’t uncomfortable. Instead, it was the kind of silence between two people who understand each other perfectly, and who don't need to use words to express their feelings, even if they'll never run out of things to talk about.

When Yosuke had to let go to dig for his house key, Souji was ready; he wrapped an arm around his boyfriend’s waist, nuzzling the back of his neck, and Yosuke responded with a shuddering sigh.

Once they were inside, Yosuke took Souji’s hand again, dragging him upstairs to his room; no sooner had he closed the door than he had Souji pushed against it, sucking at the skin below his ear, one hand holding both of the silver-haired boy’s wrists above his head as his other hand crept upwards, pushing under his boyfriend’s shirt. 

“ _Yosuke_ …” Souji gave a long, breathy moan, all of the stress and emotion of the day echoing between them. 

“I know, Souji. _Partner_.” Yosuke’s voice was just as hoarse, and he wrapped an arm around Souji, pulling him closer even as he continued to kiss his neck. “I know.”

* * *

They were lounging on Yosuke’s futon some hours later, half asleep; Souji’s head was against Yosuke’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, and Yosuke was running his fingers through his boyfriend’s silver hair. 

“Red string, eh?” He traced his fingers lightly across Souji’s neck.

“I’m not really surprised.” Souji placed his palm against Yosuke’s other hand, then linked their fingers. “Are you?”

“Not really.” Sighing happily, Yosuke kissed the top of Souji’s head. His boyfriend, however, was very quiet, and the brunette raised his own head after a moment. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” The silver-haired boy’s answer was short, and Yosuke poked his forehead.

“Liar. I know when you’re thinking too much, you know. What’s up?”

His boyfriend gave a quiet sigh, looking steadily at Yosuke’s chest. “It just feels a little… I don’t know. Maybe… a let down?”

“A let down?” Yosuke frowned, feeling his stomach start to sink. “Are you unhappy?” 

“Huh?” Souji sounded surprised. “No, of course not. It just…” His voice shrank. “I guess it finally makes sense why someone like you would end up with someone like me.”

“Wha- wait, what?” Yosuke sat up, and Souji followed, keeping his eyes focused on the edge of the futon. “Souji. Look at me.” It took a minute, but his boyfriend finally complied; he looked sad, and lonely, and Yosuke put both hands on his cheeks. 

“Souji. Partner. If you think I’m with you for any reason other than because I love you, you can stop right there.” He bumped their foreheads together. “All this red string business, the whole fate and fortune thing - that didn’t make me love you. It just means that I love you _so_ much that I don’t ever want to be away from you.” Souji watched him as he spoke, a needy, desperate look in his eyes, and Yosuke smiled at him. “Don’t you see? I love you because of who you are, not because I’m ‘supposed’ to.” Reaching down, he took Souji’s hand again, rubbing his thumbs against his boyfriend’s palm. “You’re everything to me, I’m never happier than when we’re together. Even when we’re not doing boyfriend things - even before we fell in love, if there was such a time - I was never happier than when we were just hanging out, playing music, or being chill.” He smiled again, finally calling an answering smile to his boyfriend’s face; leaning over, Yosuke kissed him, softly.

“I’m sorry.” the silver-haired boy’s voice, when they broke apart, was apologetic. “I just worry sometimes that you’re not going to be happy with me, and-”

“-and you can stop.” Yosuke wrapped his arms around Souji’s waist, pulling him close; Souji bit his lip at how warm his skin was as they leaned against one another. “Look, that red string thing doesn’t change anything about _us_ , you and I, here and now. All it means is that we’ll always be together, even when this life is over, if you believe in that kind of thing - and, given what we’ve seen over the past year, I’m inclined to.”

Souji smiled, this time of his own accord, and leaned against the brunette’s shoulder. “I don’t mind the red string idea, really, and I like the idea of always being with you, no matter what. I just don’t ever want you to regret it, or to feel like you’re here because you have to be.”

“I won’t, I promise. Hell, I think this whole thing started a long time ago anyway, you know? And I’m still not tired of you, however many times later. If anything, I’m even more in love with you than I ever have been before, or so I’d like to believe.” Smiling, he pulled Souji in for another kiss, this one longer and deeper, and slid his hand up into his boyfriend’s hair, eliciting a soft sigh from the taller boy.

“I love you so much.” Souji closed his eyes when they pulled apart. “Losing you… I didn’t even want to think about it.”

“Then don’t.” Yosuke snuggled up to him. “It was bad enough back there when you tried to sacrifice yourself for me. I’ve never been so terrified in my life.”

“My feet just moved of their own accord.” Souji shook his head. “It was all I _could_ do. Admittedly, I wasn’t thinking ahead or expecting - at all - the rest of it.”

“Neither was I,” Yosuke admitted, shaking his head. “When you disappeared, I just... lost it. I should have realised she’d do the same thing to me, but I was too angry, too desperate, so I left myself open.”

Shaking his head, Souji slid an arm around Yosuke’s waist. “The rest of it is kind of hazy - I remember it, but it doesn’t really make much sense. All I know is that I knew you needed me, so I went to find you.”

“I did need you.” Yosuke let out a soft sigh as Souji ran his fingers through his hair. “I still do, always will. All I can say is that hearing your voice again was the second-best moment in my life.”

“What was the first?”

“When you said you’d go out with me. Or, wait. Third best? Because hearing “Souji Dojima” for the first time was pretty perfect.” He laughed when Souji turned red.

“Sap.”

“Absolutely.” Leaning in, Yosuke kissed him again, and for a long time, they stopped speaking - at least with words.


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 49 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I get the feeling that a lot of people stopped reading a while back, but I hope this is still holding up for the rest of you guys!

“S-s-s-sennnnpai~” Rise wasn’t wailing, but she was close. “S-souji-s-sennpai, N-nana-chan, everybody…” The red-headed idol was in tears, her arms around Nanako’s shoulders, and Nanako was returning the hug as she patted Rise’s back - a gesture Yosuke assumed she learned from Souji. 

“It’s okay, Rise-oneechan! We’re all gonna miss you but I’ll email you! Every day!” 

“P-promise?” Rise sniffled, reluctantly straightening up as they heard the train in the distance.

“Yeah!” Nanako smiled, reassuringly, and hugged Rise’s waist; Yosuke smiled, leaning in to give her a hug as well, followed by Souji, and the others.

“We all will.” The brunette nodded at Souji. “Right, partner?”

“Of course.” Souji’s eyes crinkled and Rise looked at them, gratefully. “After all, you’ll need to let us know that they’re treating you okay.”

“S-souji…” Rise blinked back tears again, and he gave her another hug. “I’ll m-miss you guys!”

“You’ll come back and see us, though, so it’ll be okay!” Chie smiled, hands in her pockets. “We’ll miss you, but we won’t forget you, yanno?”

“Yes, please smile, Rise-chan.” Naoto patted her hand. “We’ve been through too much to ever forget each other, and we’ll all look forward to seeing you on your visits. Besides, I myself will have to go into town on occasion, as will Souji-senpai and Yosuke-senpai, I’m sure.”

“Yeah, and Souji and I will be heading there for uni next year, so we’ll be able to hang out when you’re not being busy.” Yosuke’s smile called an answering one to Rise’s lips, and she wiped her eyes. 

“We did it, guys, we did it, and I’ll miss you. I’ll see you for summer break, okay? I can’t make Golden Week this year because I gotta do some lives and I think we’re filming a new video.” She smiled again, trying to keep her mouth from quivering. “I gotta go but… I love you guys, okay?”

“We love you too, Rise-oneechan!” Nanako smiled, waving as Rise climbed onto the train - there were several men in suits waiting, who Souji rightfully assumed were from the record label - and the group on the platform waved until the train was out of sight. Once it was gone, Chie sighed.

“Man, I’m glad Souji didn’t have to leave, but it’s sad to see Rise go.”

The others nodded, but Yukiko patted her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Rise’s going back because she wants to, at least. She’ll be happy, even though we’ll miss each other.”

“I guess that’s true.” Kanji rubbed his head. “And school starts _tomorrow_ , man. That sucks!” Everybody groaned except for Souji; Chie side-eyed him and elbowed his ribs.

“Sorry.” The silver-haired boy looked sheepish. “I’m just so glad to be here and not at some elite school in Tokyo that I’m really looking forward to it.”

“Even Kashiwagi?” Yosuke chuckled. 

“Maybe not that.” Souji looked disturbed for a moment, then laughed; the rest of the group joined in.

“I can’t wait, either! I’m gonna be in second grade!” Nanako puffed her chest out proudly, and Yosuke ruffled her hair. 

“Well, I think _that_ calls for a celebration.” He smiled around the group. “What say we all go get steak and takoyaki at Junes?”

“Steak!” Chie threw her hands into the air. “Steak steak steak!” 

Nanako giggled. “Chie-oneechan, you really love steak, don’t you?”

“Yep! There’s not a whole lot I love more.” She and Yukiko exchanged glances, and Yosuke just chuckled.

“All right, all right. Let’s go, you guys.”

* * *

The next morning, Souji waited for Yosuke in their normal spot - his new uniform fit even better than his old one, and even though he couldn’t see them, he was hyper-aware of his third-year bars, reaching up run his fingers over them more than once. _I never thought life could be this good_. 

A chuckle and a hand slipping into his own snapped him out of his thoughts; he looked over to see Yosuke beside him, smiling. 

“Morning, partner.”

Souji answered with a smile of his own, squeezing Yosuke’s hand. “Morning. You’re a bit early.”

“What can I say? I don’t hate school as much as I used to.” They both laughed, starting to walk; Souji didn’t let go of Yosuke’s hand once on the way to school.

* * *

Class itself was relatively normal; a few classmates expressed surprise that Souji hadn’t transferred, but it was a happy surprise, and at lunch, a group crowded around them on the roof, all wanting to talk about Rise and their concert. Souji was startled to realize that he was being included with Yosuke in his classmates’ attention, and one girl actually toed the ground as she told him that she knew he was already dating Hanamura-kun but she just wanted to tell him that she really admired him. 

Souji wasn’t interested, of course, but given that he’d never, _ever_ thought he’d be confessed to - Yosuke was different, and special, which really didn’t count - it still made him feel oddly warm even as he felt guilty; when he fumbled with an apology, though, the girl just smiled.

“It’s okay, really! I just wanted to tell you, because I think you’re really cool.” She ran back into the building as Souji watched, bemusedly; as the rest of their classmates reluctantly scattered to give them a few minutes to hurry their lunch, he expressed his surprise at the situation to Yosuke.

His boyfriend stopped mid-bite, looking sideways at him; when Souji raised an eyebrow, not expecting Yosuke’s silence, the brunette just smiled wryly and shook his head. “You really have _no_ idea how attractive you are, do you?”

“Huh?” This blindsided Souji - he knew _Yosuke_ thought he was good-looking, but he’d never really thought about it himself, especially not as pertained to their peers agreeing - and Yosuke just laughed, then sighed. 

“The only reason nobody confessed to you before was because you were always so ridiculously stand-offish. Girls and guys might like a bit of a challenge, but you weren’t a challenge, you were off-limits. Everybody knew you wouldn’t be receptive to that sort of thing. Now, though…” He shook his head, even as Souji flushed, guiltily remembering how cold he’d been. “Now I just need to keep tabs on all the folks who decide to confess, make sure none of them manage to woo you away.”

He was smirking, but there was the faintest hint of jealousy in the crook of his mouth, and Souji - who understood completely, as Yosuke still got the occasional letter of confession in his locker - just poked his forehead. 

“And I’ll never, _ever_ have eyes for anybody but you, so you don’t have to worry. If I can put up with you getting confessed to at least twice a week, you can put up with me. I don’t expect I’ll get many others, though.”

Yosuke snorted, then smiled. “...yeeeah. Well, either way, you’re mine.” Finishing his last bite of omelette - Souji had cooked again - he leaned in to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek; a couple of girls on the other side of the roof gave a muffled squeal and, as Souji turned red, Yosuke just huffed a wry chuckle.

“It’s going to be an interesting school year.”

* * *

After class - as it was too early to get involved with any of the clubs yet - they headed outside with Chie and Yukiko; the girls had plans to go by the inn to help with guests, so they parted in front of the entrance, and the boys decided to head for the floodplain.

They’d gotten no farther than the front gates before Souji stopped dead; Yosuke, who was holding Souji’s hand, jerked backwards. Immediately, he turned his head to see if his boyfriend was okay; the taller boy squeezed his hand so tightly that it almost hurt, and Yosuke realized he was staring dead ahead of them, a strained look on his face. When he turned, he saw that a car - a really _expensive_ car, with tinted windows and a hood ornament that probably cost as much as his father made in a year - was parked at the entrance to the school grounds.

After a few seconds, Souji pulled Yosuke’s hand, turning hard on his heel towards the side entrance to the school. “Let’s go.” His words were forced out between gritted teeth, and while Yosuke had no idea exactly what was going on, he knew _Souji_ , knew that he wouldn’t act like this without a good reason, so he started to follow. Before they’d gone more than two steps, however, they heard a car door open.

“Souji, _darling_ , please don’t go! We just want to talk!” The voice was sickly sweet and so fake it made Yosuke’s skin crawl; his boyfriend froze, then slowly turned, and the look on his face was one of fear and disgust. 

“We have nothing to talk about.” His voice was cold, so cold, colder than Yosuke had ever heard - even when Souji hated him, even when they’d fought - and the brunette shivered.

The woman who’d gotten out of the car first looked exactly like Souji, only with dark brown hair and eyes; seeing mother and son so close together made Yosuke realise why it had been so easy to believe that Souji and Nanako were siblings, because they both had what was clearly the “Dojiima chin”, as well as similar bone structures and noses. Even Dojima-san fit the image, although his features had a far more masculine cast to them. This was not the time to muse about Souji’s genetics, though, however attractive they might be - Yosuke could feel the hand that gripped his grow ice-cold, and the sweat was uncomfortable though the brunette would never let go. He could tell that Souji _needed_ him right now, and he was sure as hell going to support his boyfriend. 

At Souji’s words, an annoyed look flickered over the woman’s face; if Yosuke hadn’t been trained by the Shadow World to notice the tiniest details, he never would have seen it, but he _did_ , and it pissed him off. Before he could say anything, however, the driver’s side door opened and a tall man stepped out - Souji clearly got his height from his father - and the smile on his face chilled Yosuke to the bone. This was the smile of a predator, a person unused to not getting their way, and he could feel from the way the man moved that he was Here For A Purpose.

“Son, it’s time to stop the nonsense and come home. Your mother and I miss you, and while I’m sure you’ve grown fond of this place-” his eyes flickered to Yosuke, up to the building behind them, then back to Yosuke, finally returning to Souji’s face “-you’ve got a lot of catching up to do at home.” The voice said that no opposition would be allowed; it was the first time Yosuke had ever heard it and even so he could already tell why Souji was so terrified of his parents. 

“I said, there’s nothing to talk about.” Souji gripped Yosuke’s hand as if it were a lifeline, and Yosuke moved closer, trying to lend some warmth to the ice scuplture that was his boyfriend. “I’m already home, and I am _not your son_.”

“Nonsense.” The man’s voice hardened, and he narrowed his eyes. “We’ve put up with your selfishness for long enough, Souji Seta - get in the car. We’ll send someone to pick up your things-”

“Shut up.” Yosuke stepped forward. “You have no right to talk to Souji like this.” He stood between Souji and his father, eyes blazing; the man looked him up and down, and _sneered_. 

“I see just how low my son has fallen, now, and I think I know _exactly_ where he got the pathetic idea that he’d want to stay here.” He stepped forward, but Souji pulled Yosuke away, pushing him behind his back and out of his father’s sight; father and son stared at one another.

“In case I didn’t make myself clear the first time, _go away_.” Souji was shaking - Yosuke could feel it through his boyfriend’s thin spring jacket - but there was a fire in his voice and a square to his shoulders and his father jerked backwards as if he’d been slapped. 

“How dare you speak to me like that?” He raised a hand - Souji flinched - and Yosuke was just about to dodge forward when a hand clamped down tightly on his shoulder, holding him back, just as another hand grabbed Souji’s father’s wrist. 

“ _Leave my son alone_.” They all turned to see Dojima standing beside Souji’s father, holding his wrist in a grip that made Yosuke wince; Souji looked so relieved that he would have staggered if Yosuke hadn’t put an arm around his waist. His mother, however, went white with fear, and Souji’s father’s calm mask finally shattered, his face writhing in anger. 

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I came to get my daughter and my _son_ to take them out to celebrate the first day of school - not that it’s any of your business. Nor do you have any right to even _speak_ to Souji - you signed the paperwork saying you’d have no contact again, and if I need to I _will_ get a restraining order to keep you away from him.” 

The man sneered. “Those things are useless-”

“Need I remind you that I _am_ police and I will have every right to enforce it? You won’t be allowed in the same city as Souji without giving me the ability to arrest you. Besides, restraining orders are public domain - can you imagine what every political newspaper in Japan would do with that sort of information?”

“You wouldn’t _dare_ -” 

“I sure as hell _would_ ; you may not see Souji as anything other than a pawn but _he is my son_ and you’d better believe I’ll do whatever it takes to keep him safe and happy. I’ve already _done_ it, and if you _ever_ threaten my son, his boyfriend, my daughter, or their friends your career will be over.” Dojima smiled, an expression devoid of joy and dripping with vicious intent, and Souji’s father - former father - recoiled. 

“Goddammit - get in the car, Katsumi.” He looked at Souji one last time, an angry, defeated look in his eyes, and climbed in, slamming the door; the car squealed away, leaving skid marks, and for a second, there was silence before the group - schoolkids and teachers - that had gathered started to murmur amongst themselves.

As soon as the car was out of sight, Souji slumped; Yosuke caught him, and Dojima grabbed Souji's other arm to support him. 

“Are you all right?” While his voice was still tinged with anger, the maliciousness was gone, and it had been replaced by weary concern and love. Souji, meanwhile, threw his arms around Dojima’s shoulders, burying his face in the detective’s shoulder. 

“Dad… what if he tries to hurt you?”

“He won’t.” Dojima hugged Souji tightly. “Even if he did, things are in place so that every major news outlet would get every scrap of evidence I compiled for the adoption hearing before morning. He won’t risk it, I promise.” He looked around. “Come on. I wasn’t lying when I said I came to pick you and Nanako up. We can talk some place other than here.” His eyes softened as they fell on the brunette. “You too, Yosuke.”

Yosuke - who was still holding Souji’s hand - nodded, squeezing it tightly. “Yes, sir. And thanks.”

Dojima’s smile was weary, but gentle. “I protect my family, and that includes you, Yosuke.”


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 50 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh guys you all are too wonderful. All your comments and compliments, I'm _so glad_ everyone is enjoying this fic! Honestly, from here on out, it's probably going to be the highs and lows of Souji and Yosuke's life together through HS, Uni, and of course, their musical careers. (For those of you wondering, I haven't played DAN so it won't be included; I might add a DAN prologue if I ever get a chance to play it (sort of how they did with the Animation  & Golden: The Animation).)
> 
> 50 chapters?? How did that happen?? I swear when I started this it was going to be, like... _4_ chapters, max, it was just a little character study for a swapped-role AU idea. Now it's taken over my life and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to think of Souji and Yosuke differently! 
> 
> Anyway, they're only in year 3, and there's still Uni & Rock StardomTM left to go so... it's definitely not over! 
> 
> The haircut/clothes scene was pure indulgence; I _loved_ Yosuke's new look in the Golden True Ending epilogue, with that haircut and shirt (yes this one is a different colour, I like Yosuke in yellow), and just... ugh. Of course Souji loves it, too. (If you're interested in what Souji's haircut looks like, it's a shorter version of [this picture](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/f3/41/f7/f341f7ada21f91a419a765aa7ed81d0d.jpg) which is the picture that started me on this ship and what they will always look like in my mind.)

Nanako’s eyes widened when Dojima’s car pulled up in front of the school gates. 

“Dad! Big bro? Yosuke-nii?” She looked confused, and Dojima chuckled.

“Hop on in, we’re going to get ice cream.” 

“Yaaaay!” She clapped, running around to the other side; Dojima let her ride in the front seat _just this once_ since Souji and Yosuke were sitting in the back, holding hands tightly, and right now he knew that his son needed it.

* * *

After ice cream - which turned into ice cream and a very early dinner - Dojima dropped everyone off at the house; he said he had some more work to take care of, which Yosuke assumed meant something to do with the Setas, and everybody went inside after waving him off. Yosuke took a seat at the living room table with Nanako, who proceeded to tell him all about her day; Souji listened in from the kitchen as he bustled around, making what Yosuke assumed was lunch for the next day. 

Eventually - just as Nanako was bringing out the day’s art project - Souji walked in, carrying a tray with glasses of lemonade. He sat one down in front of each of them, then took a seat beside Yosuke; leaning over, he examined the collage.

“Nice work. I like all the different flowers.”

“Yeah!” Nanako beamed at him. “It’s like our garden! We’re gonna have another one this year, right?”

“Of course.” Souji smiled, looking over at Yosuke. He was still looking a bit peaked - something that the brunette did _not_ like - but he seemed to be much calmer than he had been in the car, so that was something. 

Eventually, Nanako headed to bed; when she did, Yosuke helped Souji clean up the kitchen before pushing him upstairs to his bedroom. Once the door was closed, he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist.

“You doing okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m better.” Souji smiled faintly, putting his arms over Yosuke’s; the brunette squeezed, then put his chin on Souji’s shoulder. 

“I’m proud of you, you know? You were really cool today.”

“Psh.” The silver-haired boy’s voice held a note of self-deprecation. “I would have run away, if I could.”

“Well, I mean… given that they had no right to be here, I wouldn’t have blamed you.” 

“I was terrified.”

“They were terrifying! I get the earlier you so much more, now. As much as I hate to say it, I’m almost glad I’ve seen them in person now, I _get_ it.” Yosuke shook his head. “But I mean it, you stood up to them even though you didn’t have to - I bet that even without Dojima’s interference, they would think twice about trying to harass you again. You’re a lot different from the guy who came to Inaba a year ago.”

Turning, Souji smiled a little. “I hope it’s a good change.”

“The best. And you know you’ll never have to face them alone, right? You’ve got Dojima-san, you’ve got Nanako, you’ve got the group… and you’ve got me.” Yosuke leaned in and kissed him, still holding onto his hand. “I’m sure between me and Izanagi we can pretty much keep them locked down.”

Closing his eyes, Souji returned the kiss; he’d given the faintest chuckle, but it was enough for Yosuke, who tightened his arms.

* * *

“Ugh.” Frustrated, Yosuke dropped his controller. He was sitting with his back against the couch, between Souji’s knees, as Souji sat properly on the couch, reading a book; the silver-haired boy looked up, slipping a bookmark between the pages. It was a dreary day outside - warm and rainy - but they were comfortable inside Souji’s room, together.

“What’s wrong? You usually don’t have this kind of trouble with new games.” He leaned forward, draping his arms over Yosuke’s shoulders; the brunette turned and looked at the book Souji was still holding. 

“Wait, is that in _French?_ ” 

Turning his head, Souji looked at the book, flipping through the pages once. “...yeah? It’s a history of Celtic violin that someone recommended as being very thorough, but I don’t speak Irish Gaelic, so I had to find it in French. I don’t think it’s been translated into English.” 

“Oh my _god_.” Yosuke just sighed, leaning back against Souji’s legs. “You’re a ridiculous nerd, you know that?”

“It’s just _French_ , Yosuke.” Souji sounded a little offended.

“I can barely string together two sentences in English.” Yosuke huffed. “Here you are, speaking French, Latin, English, anything else?”

“A little German,” Souji murmured. “And you know that if you studied harder, you’d be better at your English. You’ll want it if we ever get to the point where we tour, or if you want to write songs in English that _don’t_ sound ridiculous.”

“I know, I know.” A sigh. “I just sometimes don’t get how somebody as smart as you ended up with somebody like me.”

“I’m with you because I love you, Yosuke, and because you’re amazing.” Souji tightened his arms, nuzzling the back of the brunette’s head. “Besides, you’re a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for, you just focus on music. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing, as long as your grades are enough to get into the conservatory.” 

Closing his eyes, Yosuke wrapped his arms around Souji’s legs, leaning back against him. “Thanks.”

“ _Mais oui, mon petite chou_.”

“The heck?”

A snicker. “French endearment. It means ‘But yes, my little cabbage’.”

“ _What_.”

There was a pause, and both boys broke into peals of laughter; resting his chin on the top of Yosuke’s head, Souji smiled at their faint reflection in the glass panels of the new bookcase upon which the TV rested. It had been something they’d bought together, and it held all of his books, as well as some new CDs, videos, and games. 

“So, back to _you_. What’s up with the new game?”

Leaning his head back - at which point Souji brushed his bangs from his forehead and kissed it - Yosuke sighed. “This is going to sound _so stupid_ but the music is _all wrong_ for this game and it keeps distracting me. I can’t focus.”

“Mmm, no, that’s not stupid. What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s too epic. I mean, I’m pretty sure they just straight up lifted - licenced, whatever - a Two Steps From Hell song. It’s a good song, but it’s just totally the wrong feel for the game, especially this sequence. I mean, it’s not like they want a chiptune, but… I dunno. Something electronic, futuristic, slow but with a beat. _That’s_ what it needs.” 

“Write it. I know you can.” Souji smiled.

“I probably could.” Yosuke looked speculative, but then sighed. “Damn, though, the keyboard I have just isn’t enough, you know? I need one of those workstations like Rise has. I also need bike repairs, though, and a haircut, and new clothes, and gas for the scooter, and I’m probably going to have to quit Junes soon, if I’m going to focus on prepping for entrance exams.”

“Yeah.” Souji frowned a bit, tucking the thought away into the back of his mind for later. “Although you know we’re going to study together, so while I can’t guarantee you a passing grade, I _can_ guarantee you I’ll do whatever I can to help you make it happen.” 

“Thanks, partner.” Yosuke leaned up for a kiss, and Souji ran his fingers through his hair. 

“Haircut, eh?” He moved his hand to his own head. “I need one, too. Let’s go together this weekend.”

“What? You’re going to get rid of the bowl cut? Call the newspaper! Praise the gods of fashion!” Souji swatted Yosuke, who laughed. “Hey dude, I’m just saying there’s better haircuts out there.”

“I know, _ass_. I just… didn’t care before.” 

“Mmmm, and you care now? Why’s that?” The brunette smirked. 

“Don’t make me French at you.” Souji poked at his forehead; Yosuke dodged, then bit his lip.

“Actually… say something else. Something not ridiculous this time.”

At the flush on his boyfriend’s cheeks, Souji smirked, leaning in; putting his lips to Yosuke’s ear, he started to murmur, even as his fingers crept up the brunette’s side. Yosuke closed his eyes, groaning, before reaching up to grab Souji, pulling him down onto the rug in front of the couch.

* * *

“Ehhhh. I don’t think we want to go with anything too drastic, not this time. Maybe…” Yosuke tilted his head, looking at the album of hairstyles.

“This would be easier if Rise were here, wouldn’t it?” Souji smiled, wryly. “Sorry, usually I just tell them to trim it and go.”

“I already spent half an hour talking about this on Skype with her last night.” Yosuke chuckled. “She wanted to give you an undercut, a serious one, like the guys in that new pop band we saw on TV last night. I told her no way in hell.” 

Souji looked alarmed at this. “I don’t think I want anything like that…”

“I know.” Yosuke grinned. “Don’t worry, I gotcha.” He looked back at the book. “Let’s go with some weight reduction, then layers. Layer the bangs so he can push them out of his face, _holy crap_. I don’t think I’ve ever seen your eyebrows, dude.”

“Ha ha very funny.” Souji made a face at him as the stylist looked at his face, back at the book, then took some of his hair into her hand to feel the weight. 

“You’ve got a very heavy cut right now, and you have very smooth hair,” she said. “I think this’ll be a better look.” She nodded at Yosuke, who slipped the book back into the wall pocket just as another stylist came out. 

“Mr. Hanamura? Are you ready?”

“Yep. See you on the other side, partner.”

* * *

Yosuke was sitting in the lobby, reading a magazine, when Souji finally came out. The taller boy looked self-conscious as he reached up to push his bangs out of his face; when he ran his fingers through them, they fell to the side, effortlessly, and Yosuke’s eyes widened.

“Damn, partner. Looks _good_.” He got up, walking a circle around Souji; once he was back in the front, he nodded. “Perfect.” Souji let out a sigh of relief, but he kept his eyes glued to his boyfriend; Yosuke, meanwhile, turned to the stylist. “This is exactly what we wanted, thanks.” 

After they paid and stepped outside, Yosuke looked up at Souji. “What, dude? You keep staring. I just got a trim. Granted, a pretty big trim, but…”

Souji turned red. “Your, uh… _neck_ …” Yosuke _recognized_ that tone of voice, and turned red himself. 

“Oh, er… glad you like it.” Granted, he _hadn’t_ had that intent when he got the cut - he just wanted to be ready for the summer heat - but with the look in his boyfriend’s eyes, he found himself thinking that maybe he’d stick with the shorter cut for a while. After all, even in the winter, well… Souji could just keep him warm. 

“I do.” Still looking embarrassed, Souji pushed his bangs out of his eyes again. “I… it’s really weird how much better I can see.” 

“That’s because you have a forehead now, dude.” Yosuke smiled, having regained his composure. “C’mon. Let’s step over here and take a pic to send to Rise.”

“Sure.” Souji let Yosuke lead him over to the side of the covered walkway, where there was some sunlight; the brunette pulled out his phone, and they leaned in together, smiling - grinning, in Yosuke’s case - and he snapped a shot. 

“She’ll love it. Of course, she’ll also ask when we’re going to get you some new clothes. Heck, let’s stop in now. We’re already here, what can it hurt?”

The taller boy looked a little wary, but nodded. “All right. Nothing too fancy, though - I can’t wear the kind of stuff Rise picked out for us every day.”

Yosuke just laughed. “Nothing like that, partner. Just… something that doesn’t make you look like you’re thirty, or living off a trust fund. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a t-shirt, or shorts.”

“Okay.”

They stepped into the clothing store - not the same boutique Rise took them to, just a regular chain that displayed stuff more like what Yosuke and Chie wore in its windows - and for a while, the two just browsed. Eventually, Yosuke came to find Souji; he had an armful of clothes, which he held out to his boyfriend. 

“I doubt we’ll like everything, but give it a try?” Souji, who was holding a shirt, looked up; he blinked, but nodded, taking the armful carefully. Yosuke leaned over. “That’s a pretty sweet shirt.” 

It was short-sleeved, yellow, with a white design on the front and a scooped neck; Souji held it out. “It’s, uh. I think it’d look good on you.” 

Yosuke took it, and nodded. “Sure. I’ll try it on. You first, though.” He pushed Souji towards the dressing room.

* * *

They ended up going with two pairs of shorts, a pair of jeans, and all of the short-sleeved shirts; Yosuke’s face brightened with each colourful outfit Souji came out wearing, and there wasn’t a single black or white shirt or collar in the lot. He’d been browsing an accessory counter when Souji finally brought out the clothes he was going to buy; with a nod, he took the yellow shirt.

“Okay, I’ll try this on, and then we can go.” 

Souji handed his clothes to the clerk, taking a seat to wait for his boyfriend; it wasn’t long before Yosuke came out, and Souji’s jaw dropped. The yellow glowed against Yosuke’s darker skin, and the scoopneck showed _just enough_ of the brunette’s collarbone; the clean line from his shoulder, up his neck - now exposed from his new haircut - was almost enough to short-circuit Souji’s brain. Yosuke took one look at his boyfriend, smirked, and nodded. 

“I’ll get it.”

“Uh. Huh.” 

Laughing, Yosuke went back into the dressing room as Souji turned to the counter to hide his face and pay for his clothes; the clerk giggled a little, but just rang him up, and he escaped outside to get some air. Yosuke joined him a few minutes later, still grinning; wrapping an arm around Souji’s waist, he slipped a hand into the silver-haired boy’s back pocket.

“God, I love your reactions. Probably since I’m the same way, half the time.” He nudged Souji’s shoulder with his forehead, and they both laughed; just then, their phones buzzed in unison.

“It’s Rise.” Souji flipped open his phone as Yosuke swiped across his own screen; she’d texted both of them.

> omigosh u2 are so hot~ (〃・ω・〃)ノ~☆ i’m so jealousss (●♡∀♡))ヾ☆*。

> 2day was fittings 4 the new vid ✺◟(∗❛ัᴗ❛ั∗)◞✺ LOOK r’nt i cute?

There was a photo attached with Rise grinning, making peace signs at the screen, wearing a new outfit; Yosuke grinned. “That’s our Rise. Of course everything looks good on her.”

“She is cute.” Souji was already typing a response. 

> Souji: Of course you’re cute. I like the hairstyle, too.

> Rise: aahhhhh Souji-senpai IS THAT A CONFESSION ღ꒡ ᴈ꒡)♡⃛(꒡ε ꒡ღ

> Yosuke: RISE （｀Δ´）！

> Rise: (*≧▽≦)ﾉｼ)) ilu guys, yosuke-senpai ur 2 cute, don’t stop bein jealous ( ˘ ³˘)♥ rly tho i miss u guys

> Souji: We miss you, too.

> Yosuke: email, k, will snd more pics, got Souji new cloz

> Rise: ahhh can’t wiat ヽ(*⌒∇⌒*)ﾉ byeee guys gotta run

> Souji: Good luck!

> Rise: (✿ꈍ。 ꈍ✿)

Souji flipped his phone shut. “I’m glad things seem to be going well.” 

“Yeah. It’ll be nice to see her again this summer.” Yosuke smiled, resting his head against Souji’s shoulder. “Should we head home?”

A nod. “Yeah.” As they started walking towards the train station, Souji mumbled something; Yosuke raised an eyebrow. 

“What was that?”

His boyfriend turned red again. “I said, maybe you can put that shirt on again.”

Laughing, Yosuke took his hand, linking their fingers. “Your wish is my command.”


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 51 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

“Hey, guys. I wanted to ask you all something.” Souji fidgeted with his phone.

“Sure, dude, what’s up?” Chie dropped off the ledge, where she was sitting with Yukiko, and walked over; the others came closer, as well. They were all up on the roof, minus Yosuke; the brunette had stayed after to talk to Honda-sensei about the best study materials to improve his English. Sure, Souji could coach him, but Souji was practically fluent and Yosuke wanted to make sure he was learning the _right_ stuff, since they had such limited time. The rest of the group was waiting so that they could all go out and get Aiyas, since their free afternoons all lined up a lot less frequently now that most of the group was in third year.

“Well, it’s Yosuke’s birthday in a month and a half.” Souji smiled a little. “There’s something I really want to get him, but it’s kind of expensive.” He held out his phone, with a website pulled up; everyone leaned in and Chie’s eyes widened at the price. “Holy moly- but what _is_ it?”

“I see.” Naoto pushed her hat back, scratching her forehead. “I can see why Yosuke-senpai wants one.” As she leaned back to explain it to Chie, Kanji pulled the phone over so that he could see.

“Wow, senpai, that is kinda pricy. Nothing but the best for Yosuke-senpai, huh?” 

“Something like that.” Souji smiled. “I’m going to be working part-time with Yosuke at Junes for the rest of the month so that when he has to quit they won’t be too short-staffed; I should be able to front a little more than half. Rise’s going in on a quarter of it, and I figured I’d see if anybody else wanted to chip in.” He looked flustered. “Don’t worry if you can’t or don’t want to, I can put it on layaway and make up the rest before the end of June.”

“Hmmm.” Chie did the math. “You’d need, like… another quarter? That’s… hmm.” She tilted her head, closing an eye as she divided, and then stuck a finger up. “Aha! You know… divided by four that’s not really too bad.” She looked around, proud of her improved math skills.

“Five!” Teddie looked insulted. “I work, too, how rude!” 

“Can you actually _afford_ it?” Chie named a number, then looked surprised when Teddie laughed and winked.

“Yep! I’ve been a busy bear! I was saving up for topsicles, but I wanna do something nice for Sensei.”

“Teddie’s got a point.” Yukiko smiled. “That’s not really too bad for any of us, and Yosuke’s done so much for all of us over the last year. I’d be glad to help out, Souji-kun.”

“I agree with Yukiko-senpai.” Naoto nodded, and Kanji followed suit.

“Count me in!” Chie pumped her fist with a wink. “It’ll be great!” 

“What’s everybody so fired up about?” The door to the roof opened as Yosuke came out, holding a couple of textbooks.

Snapping his phone shut, Souji slipped it into his pocket. “Chie’s just psyched about dinner. She says she thinks she can actually finish the beef bowl at Aiyas, now.”

Yosuke eyed him, but then looked up at the sky. “It _is_ about to rain… I just want some pork-fried rice, and some gyoza.”

“Ramen all the way, dude.” A grin as Kanji grabbed his coat. “You can have my tofu, senpai.”

“Ewww, _no_.” Yosuke eyed Souji once more, then grimaced at Kanji. “I thought I was gonna be done with the tofu jokes when Rise left.”

They all headed out; as they walked along the floodplain, Souji brought out his phone. “Speaking of Rise-” He showed everyone the photo she’d sent him and Yosuke that weekend.

“That’s our Rise!” Chie smiled. “Looks like she’s having fun.” 

“Lemme see! Lemme see!” Teddie fussed until Souji, smiling, showed him the phone. “Aw, my lovely Risette-chan! How much I miss you, my darling!” He started to make kissy sounds at the phone, and Souji grimaced, pulling it away and stowing it in his pocket.

“Gross, dude.” Yosuke thumped the back of Teddie’s head. “Rise doesn’t need another stalker. And where the hell do you _get_ phrases like that?”

“From the educational shows mom watches whenever she’s home during the day! It’s how I learn _all_ about the ladies!” 

Yukiko started to howl with laughter as Yosuke pulled a face. “Okay, ugh, I did _not_ need to know that mom watches afternoon dramas. _Ew_.”

Chie smirked. “Oh, I dunno, you could probably woo Souji with lines like that. ‘Oh, my darling Souji-kun, how I long to kiss your lips-”

Yosuke turned crimson, reaching out to swat her; she dodged and started running and Yosuke - shoving his bag at Souji, who just took it with a long-suffering smile - took off after her, chasing her down the footpath. 

Next to Souji, Yukiko smiled. “I’m so glad everyone’s together and happy. That we don’t have to worry about the TV any more.”

“I know what you mean.” The silver-haired boy smiled at her, and, followed by Kanji and Naoto, they made their way into town.

* * *

After dinner, Souji and Yosuke were headed back to Souji’s house; after a comfortable silence, Yosuke gently poked Souji’s hand. 

“So, what was that up on the roof earlier?” 

Souji - who never once thought he’d actually fooled Yosuke with the beef bowl line - smiled a little, flushing. “It’s a secret, for now. You’ve got a birthday coming up, you know…”

“Ohhh, okay.” That was enough for Yosuke; curious as he might be, he just squeezed Souji’s hand. “Which means you’ve got one coming up, too. What do you want?”

His boyfriend just shook his head. “What I have right here, right now with you - what I have at home with dad and Nanako - that’s all I can think I’d want. Honestly, I feel like I’ve gone through a lifetime of birthday goodwill with everything that’s happened this year.” 

“Souji, that’s the kind of thing you deserve without having to spend birthday points on it. Everybody deserves a happy family. _Seriously_ , what do you want?”

“I really-” Souji shrugged, an embarrassed smile on his face. “I don’t really know. I’m _seriously_ just happy to be here, to spend time with you this summer.”

“All right, well, if you don’t like what I give you it’s not my fault.” The brunette pouted, and Souji laughed.

“Yosuke, short of a breakup, I don’t think there’s anything you could ever give me that I _wouldn’t_ love.” Souji squeezed his hand.

“Sorry, partner. We’re all out of breakups and they’ve been discontinued. Doesn’t look like we’ll ever stock those again.”

“Well, then, I think I’m set.” Smiling, Souji leaned over to kiss Yosuke, who tightened his hand in his boyfriend’s school shirt. 

They walked for a while in silence, then Yosuke traced a finger down Souji’s arm. “So, uh… gimme a hint?”

The taller boy laughed. “Nope, you have to wait.”

“ _Paaartnerrr_ …” Yosuke knew that particular word in that particular tone was good at getting his boyfriend to give in.

Grinning, Souji flushed. “Fine.” He leaned over, putting his lips to Yosuke’s ear; the brunette perked up. 

“ _It’s a thing_.” 

Yosuke groaned, shoving his boyfriend. “Ass.”

“You love me, admit it.”

“... _ass_.”

* * *

A few days later, Yosuke was over at Souji’s after school; Dojima had gotten home early, so they’d all had dinner together. As Souji was putting Nanako to bed, Dojima looked over at the brunette. 

“Hey, Hanamura. What does Souji want for his birthday?”

Yosuke, who’d been struggling with that very question for at least a week, sighed. “He says he’s happy with what he has now.”

“That’s not exactly something I can put a bow on.” 

“Yeah, tell me about it.” He reached up to push his bangs out of his eyes, although they were so short now that they didn’t need it. “He could probably use a violin of his own, though?”

“Eh. Good thought, but not exactly what I’m looking for.” The detective’s face looked a bit cloudy. 

“Well, the only thing I know he _wants_ is this.” Yosuke grabbed his phone, pulling up a webpage before showing Dojima. “It’s too expensive for me, or I’d have gone for it, but they sell them at a place in Okina.”

“Huh.” Dojima took the phone, reading over the page. “Is it really worth that kinda money?”

“Oh yeah! I mean, it’s not the top of the line but it’s really solid, and if you want the best you’re gonna be paying, like… double. That’ll do everything he could want it to do, and probably more. He’ll get a lot of use out of it, I know.” Yosuke took a breath after his enthusiastic spiel, and Dojima chuckled.

“You’re really into this stuff, aren’t you? Souji’s like that, too. You know… I know I said thanks back at Christmas about Nanako, but I really do owe you… well, everything. If you hadn’t come along, Souji never would have opened up, he’d have gone back to his- _my sister_ as miserable as he came, Nanako wouldn’t have a big bro, and I wouldn’t have a son. So, thanks.” The detective’s smile was warm, and Yosuke flushed.

“Hey, it’s a big deal for me, too. I couldn’t just sit there, and, well…” The flush deepened; the idea of gushing about his boyfriend was too embarrassing for words. “He- he means a lot to me.”

“I know.” Dojima nodded. “You two make a good pair, and Nanako loves you both - that’s good enough for me.” 

“Thanks.” He didn’t really know what else to say, but he hoped his tone of voice said everything else he couldn’t put into words; Dojima nodded again, and they sat in companionable silence until Souji came back from Nanako’s room.


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 52 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit difficult, especially given that I lost my grandmother this morning (my mother's mother; I lost my mother some years back, when I was just out of college.) I'm kind of glad it came along when it did, though, because it helped me a lot to write it. 
> 
> Apologies that the chapters are coming a bit shorter now; with so many small vignettes, it's hard to find a good place to cut that makes sense.

A week later, Souji had just closed the front door - he’d been at Junes all afternoon helping Yosuke - when he heard a soft sound from the kitchen; frowning, he slipped his shoes off. Turning the corner, he found Nanako hunched over the kitchen table, coloured paper strewn across the surface; several well-made flowers lay in front of the little girl, who had her hands over her face.

Going pale, Souji rushed forward. “Nanako, sweetie, what’s wrong?” Not even waiting for a response, he slid an arm around her shoulders; she turned, and before he could even see her face she’d buried it in his shoulder. 

“Big bro…” She sniffled, her arms - she was still holding onto one of the flowers - encircling his chest as she hugged him tightly. Still worried, Souji just held her as she sniffled into his shoulder; after a minute or two, she pushed away. 

“I miss mom.” 

Suddenly, everything clicked - tomorrow was Mother’s Day, and if he remembered anything about school at that age, they usually had the students making craft projects - in Nanako’s case, probably the origami flowers. 

“Your flowers are really pretty, though.” He pulled a chair over to sit next to her; she hadn’t fully let go of him, and he wasn’t going to make her.

“Yeah, but.. but…” A sniffle. “I can’t give them to her.”

Memories of year after year of his own projects, lying discarded in the rubbish bin, washed over Souji, and he tightened his arm around his little sister. “You _can_.” 

Her sniffles stopped as she looked up at him, questioningly; she was a smart girl, however, and suddenly, she brightened. “The shrine! Dad puts food there, he says it goes to mom in heaven.” 

“Yep.” Souji nodded with a faint smile, straightening up the paper spread across the table. “You _can_ give her your flowers; want to make more?”

“Yeah!” Her face was already sunny again, and the sight pushed the memories - now duller, and toothless, thanks to his new family - out of Souji’s mind. “Come on, big bro, you make some, too!”

Blinking, Souji stared at the scraps of paper in front of them, although he didn’t really see them. Glancing over at Nanako’s cheerful face - remembering Dojima’s gentle kindness - he found himself wishing, for the first time, that he’d known Chisato Dojima. _It’s selfish that I never really thought about her before, other than to listen to Nanako and dad_. He found himself wondering what she’d have thought about him, and the adoption; slowly, he picked up a piece of light pink paper. 

_I didn’t know her, but I can thank her for Nanako, and for dad_. 

As Nanako hummed the Junes song, they both worked, losing track of time; Souji hadn’t even changed out of his part-time apron, and dinner was all-but forgotten as the siblings made paper flowers, occasionally stopping to help each other with a particularly troublesome fold.

The sound of the door opening startled Souji back into the present; he snapped his head up, blinking, as Dojima walked into the kitchen, a puzzled look on his face. “What’s going on here? Souji, you’re still in your work clothes? Did you guys even have dinner- oh.”

Souji looked at the flowers, then at Dojima, who gave a sad, soft smile. “Let me guess, you’ve been helping Nanako with her Mother’s Day project.”

Swallowing, the silver-haired boy nodded. “Yeah, I’m-” A pause; Dojima just shook his head, putting a hand gently on his shoulder, as well as one on Nanako’s.

“It’s fine. Actually, it’s good. I’m glad. You two clean up the table and I’ll heat up some leftovers.”

* * *

After a warm - if quiet - dinner, Souji did the dishes while Dojima and Nanako decorated the shrine with the siblings’ flowers. Afterwards, the detective put Nanako to bed; while they were out of the room, Souji walked over to take a look at the altar. It looked warm and well-loved; closing his eyes, Souji said a small prayer.

When he opened them again, Dojima was standing beside him, a gentle, nostalgic look on his face. “She loved you, you know. Still does, I’m sure.” At Souji’s look of surprise, he gave a brief chuckle. 

“I told you we’d met you back when you were in diapers, remember? It was one of the very few times we visited your- my sister and her husband. Chisato and I weren’t even married at the time, we were just dating.” His smile faltered a little. “You were so cheerful - running everywhere - and Chisato took offense to the fact that my sister kept scolding you. When she finally sent you off with a maid, Chisato was so angry; I had to cut the visit short to keep them from going at each other. I’ll tell you, though, I almost let it happen, and I kind of wish I had. Maybe if my sister had heard some truth earlier, she never would have raised you like she did.” 

“Hey.” Souji took a deep breath. “I’m happy here, now, you know?”

“Yeah.” Dojima smiled at him before reaching out, pulling him in for a hug. “I remember Chisato telling me that there was no way she’d ever treat our kids like that; we’d always wanted to give Nanako a brother, and well-” the detective choked up a bit, and Souji tightened his arms. “Well, fate had different plans but I think Chisato would have been more than happy that it worked out this way. She only met you once, but she loved you so much.”

They stood there, quiet, for some time; finally, Dojima pushed away, ruffling Souji’s hair. “All right, that’s enough wool-gathering for now. You’ve been on your feet all day; go get a shower and head to bed.” 

Souji gave him one last hug. “Night, dad.”

“Night, son. And… thanks.”

* * *

“Hello. My name is Hanamura Yosuke, and-”

“-Yosuke Hanamura”

“My name is Yosuke Hanamura. I go to school in Yasogami High-”

“- _at_ Yasogami High”

“ _Rrrggh_. I go to school _at_ Yasogami High. I play the guitar, bass, keyboard, trumpet.”

“-keyboard, _and_ trumpet”

“Dammit, I give up!” Looking frustrated, the brunette slumped forward, hitting his forehead against his palm; Souji, who’d been replacing the pads on his loaner flute (he was in band this year), moved the instrument to his left hand. 

“You’re doing _really well_.” Scooting over, he put an arm around Yosuke’s shoulders. “A month ago you couldn’t even say the word trumpet without an extra syllable, and if I’d asked you to recite _anything_ in English you would have laughed at me.” He pointed to the book of simple phrases that Yosuke was slowly making his way through. “You got this.”

Letting out a shaky breath, Yosuke gave him a wry smile. “Yeah, because you’ve been spending _every day_ after work or school coaching me.”

“Pft. First off, you’ve been studying your butt off. When Honda-sensei called on you last class and you answered in perfect English, I thought Chie was going to fall out of her seat. Secondly, this shows how hard you've been trying. No matter how much work I put into coaching you, if you’re not trying, you’re not going to learn; I can’t just cram what I know into your brain.” 

“Wish you could,” Yosuke muttered, although he looked pleased at Souji’s comment. “I just… really want to get into the conservatory.”

“I know. I want it, too.” Setting the last key wedge, Souji put the flute aside to sit overnight; reaching over, he grabbed a stack of notecards from his desk. “Let’s work on your sight reading. I put together flashcards with a bunch of terms I need to study, they’re in English - well, and Latin, but mostly English. Even if you don’t know the terms - and you might, you’ve been listening to me go on about this nonsense for long enough - you can practice reading and pronouncing syllables.”

Although the brunette looked at the cards with a dubious expression, he couldn’t hide his appreciation; he knew that Souji had a lot of studying to do on his own, on top of helping him at Junes for the rest of the month and coaching him in English, and every chance he had to _help Souji_ was a chance he was going grab with both hands.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” He smiled at the silver-haired boy. 

Souji blushed, muttering, “Well, so are you.”

Yosuke just laughed, leaning over to sneak a kiss - kissing Souji when he was embarrassed was _the best thing_ and he’d never get enough of it. It just made him more and more eager for their birthday, now that he’d finally decided on a gift (and gotten approval from Dojima-san.)

“All right.” Still chuckling, Yosuke flipped the first card. “Mu-ta-tis mu-tan-dis - dude, these sound like bugs, or something.”

Trying not to laugh, Souji swatted him. “Concentrate, Yosuke. Um.” As he closed his eyes to think, the brunette watched him, fondly. 

_I really am the luckiest guy ever_.


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 53 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff, I'm starting to think I don't know how to write anything else. I just love domestic scenes _so much_ and I don't have a chance to practice them in my own life, so.

“Hanamura-san, can you look at this bill of lading?”

Souji, who’d just opened his mouth to ask Yosuke whether he’d be able to take a break any time soon, shut it again, waving his boyfriend away; the brunette gave him a look of ‘ _sorry!_ ’ and hurried off.

Sighing, the silver-haired boy turned back to the display he was building; he was converting one that had been put up for Childrens’ Day into a generic kids’ summer savings layout. He and Yosuke had been working since noon - it was Saturday, their half day - and he was supposed to be getting off work soon, but he suspected that his boyfriend, though having the ‘same hours,’ would end up working late. That had been the story since Souji had started helping at the beginning of the week, and he suspected that it had been the story since Yosuke had given notice that he’d be quitting at the end of the month. Everyone wanted to know his tips or tricks, or be shown how to do something he’d already shown them half a dozen times before. 

Just as Souji eyed a purple-and-blue t-shirt he thought Nanako would really like - deciding to come back for it once he got his paycheck - Yosuke came hurrying back towards him.

“Sorry about that, really sorry, what were you going to ask?” He looked harried, and Souji’s heart squeezed. 

“Don’t worry-”

Before he could finish, one of the summer hires came rushing over. “Hanamura-san! Hanamura-san, there’s a customer, and-”

Souji smiled at Yosuke, hiding his anxiety; he wasn’t upset for himself, he was just worried about Yosuke, who had dark circles under his eyes. He nodded gently to the brunette, who gave him another apologetic look and hurried off; the taller boy watched him go, sighing again.

He was proud of his boyfriend, really; for all that Yosuke played it off, he really had a good head for business and Souji was happy to see so many people recognizing it. He just wished they weren’t trying to kill him in the process. At least he’d be quitting for good at the end of the month; they had little less than a year until entrance exams, and Souji was determined to help Yosuke get the best scores he could. That would require as much study time as they could manage while still having time to practice music - a luxury for Souji, but a necessity for Yosuke, who would need to send in a performance recording as part of his application. 

When Yosuke came to find him in the break room after another half hour, looking even more tired, Souji decided that tonight, he would go home on time - usually he stayed until Yosuke was ready to leave, but tonight he had other plans. Smiling sympathetically, he pulled out a chair, sliding a bottle of water over in front of it.

“Sit.”

With an exhausted sigh, Yosuke sank into the seat, dropping his head onto his crossed arms. “Uuugggghhhh.” Even muffled, Souji could hear the frustration in his tone. “Why can’t anyone here read a freaking instructions manual?”

“Because it’s easier to ask Hanamura-san.” Reaching over, Souji wrapped his hand around the back of Yosuke’s neck, sliding two fingers up to massage away a few knots. As his boyfriend made a sound that was a cross between a squeak and a moan, Souji smirked. “I know you have to do it, but I hate how you’re practically forced to babysit them.”

“Yeah, well… that’s all an assistant manager is, a babysitter.” His eyes rolled back into his head as Souji released a particularly bad knot, then gently rubbed Yosuke's neck and pulled his hand away. “God, that felt good.”

“Mmm. I know you’re going to have to work late-”

A wince. “Sorry, tonight’s just the only night that Keito-san can be in to learn how to process work orders, and-”

“-it’s okay, partner. Just get off work as soon as you can, and come over, okay?” Souji straightened Yosuke’s manager’s tie and nudged the water closer; Yosuke took the hint and opened it, downing a good quarter before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“I guess you’re not gonna work late?” He looked a bit wistful.

Forcing himself to resist the puppy-dog eyes that were so often his downfall, Souji shook his head. “I’ve got a few things to take care of but I’ll have dinner waiting when you get to my place if you text me to let me know when you’re leaving - when you’re _actually_ leaving, like out of the door and no longer able to be stopped by assistants-in-training.”

As the buzzer in Yosuke’s pocket went off, he laughed ruefully; capping his water with a sigh, he stood up. “Will do, partner. Now I guess I gotta go see what _else_ they’ve broken…” 

With a quick look over his shoulder to make sure nobody was coming down the stairs, Yosuke leaned over and gave Souji a quick kiss; it was just a peck, but it seemed to give him energy as he winked at his boyfriend. “I feel like things’ll go faster tonight now that I have incentive to get off as early as I can.”

“Just don’t hurt yourself.” Souji looked amused. “We’ve got a day off tomorrow, and I intend to make sure you _get some rest_.” 

“All right, all right, I’m not _that_ clumsy.” Cheeks pink with pleased embarrassment, Yosuke gave a quick grin and dashed upstairs as his buzzer went off again.

Souji finished the apple he’d been eating, tossing the core in a wastebin before hanging up his apron and clocking out. Heading upstairs he stopped by a couple of different departments to pick up a few items - not worried that Yosuke would see him, as he was usually busy in back offices and the loading docks - before going home.

* * *

Dojima was just coming out of Nanako’s room as Souji closed the front door behind himself. “You’re home early.”

Souji nodded. “Yosuke’s pretty worn out so I’m going to fix dinner for when he gets off work.”

“Gah, they’re working that kid too hard.” Dojima grumbled, grabbing a beer as he sat down at the table. “I guess he’s going to stay over?”

“Is that okay?” Souji looked worried, but Dojima just waved a hand at him.

“It’s fine, I trust you kids. I’m not gonna give you a talk every time you two spend the night.” He reached a hand into his shirt pocket, where he kept his cigarettes, as his other hand went to the paper box that held his lighter, along with other odds-and-ends; when Souji raised an eyebrow, however, he sighed and wrapped his hands around his beer can. “Dammit, Souji…”

“I didn’t say anything.” Souji went back to grating ginger.

“You didn’t have to,” his dad grumbled. “I know that look.”

“Is it bad that I don’t want you dying at 40 from lung cancer?”

Finishing his beer, Dojima just grumbled again, throwing the can into the recycling bin before ruffling Souji’s hair. “I’m going upstairs to work. Don’t stay up too late.”

“Night dad.”

“Night, son.”

* * *

Souji was just mixing the mirin and soy sauce when his phone buzzed; using his elbow to nudge the phone awake, he saw that it was an ‘omw partner’ text from Yosuke. With a smile, he layered the pork in to marinate before washing his hands and heading upstairs.

Half an hour later, the front door opened and Yosuke - who’d been over late often enough to know to keep it quiet - slipped off his shoes and headed into the kitchen, where Souji was just measuring rice into the cooker. Sniffing the air, he wrapped his arms around Souji’s waist, burying his face in his boyfriend’s neck. 

“Welcome home.” Souji smiled, patting his arms. “Go ahead and clean up; I ran you a bath. If you’re not down when the pork is done, I’ll come get you.”

“Mmmf, you’re the best.” Yosuke tightened his arms for a moment, not wanting to take advantage of just _how lucky_ he felt at that moment. “Love you so much…”

“Love you too.” Gently turning, Souji pushed the brunette away and towards the stairs. “Don’t let the water get cold.”

“All right, all right.” Yosuke knew better than to argue when his boyfriend got into ‘caretaker’ mode, so he just headed upstairs with a chuckle. When he stepped into the bathroom he could smell that Souji had put some sort of salts or oil into the tub; after hurriedly showering himself clean he sank neck-deep into the hot water with a sigh of bliss. Whatever Souji had added made his skin tingle comfortably while his muscles practically melted; leaning back and closing his eyes, the brunette heaved another sigh, this time of satisfaction. 

_Never would have thought last year that the Souji he was then would become the Souji he is now_ … A year ago, Yosuke was new to his assistant manager’s position and every time he saw Souji at Junes - or even around town - the boy had done everything he could to avoid Yosuke. _Now_ … A soft smile played across his lips, but before he could get too philosophical, he drifted to sleep.

He woke from hazy, happy dreams to the feeling of someone massaging his shoulders; blinking, he stretched his neck only to have it pop, something he’d been trying to get it to do all day. 

“Ohh, god. _Finally_.” Turning his head, the brunette saw familiar fingers on his arms and with a chuckle, Souji leaned around to give him a kiss. 

“Dinner’s ready.” Pushing himself up, Souji dropped a towel and some spare sleep clothes that Yosuke’d left behind for such occasions on a stool next to the tub. “It’s been about half an hour, so you shouldn’t stay in too much longer, anyway.” Dropping another kiss onto Yosuke’s damp hair, he headed back downstairs as Yosuke climbed out of the tub with a groan.

* * *

Dinner was shogayaki - Yosuke’s favourite, thanks in no small part to it being the first meal they’d ever shared on the roof - with miso and rice, and pudding afterwards. “It’s not homemade,” Souji said, as if admitting some horrific secret, when he split the dessert into two bowls.

“Dude, are you freaking _kidding_ me? I just got a home-cooked dinner made by the best boyfriend in existence, as well as a bath and a massage. I think homemade pudding would have just been too much.” A smirk as Souji blushed. 

“I just worry when you work too much,” the silver-haired boy mumbled into his tea, and Yosuke leaned over, bumping Souji’s shoulder with his forehead.

“Well, just remember this when we’re at uni and you’re working yourself to death with music _and_ law, and I try to make you bentos or something.” He looked thoughtful. “They’ll be better than Yukiko’s, at least.”

“Something tells me that’s not necessarily a high bar.” Souji smirked, deciding not to be offended by the fact that Yosuke knew what Yukiko’s bentos were like - his boyfriend’s past was something he’d accepted already, after all - and they laughed together. 

After inhaling his pudding, Yosuke helped Souji clean up. Once the last dish was put into its cupboard, he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend again, burying his face in the back of Souji’s shoulder. “How’d I get so lucky? _Man_ , I wish I had more energy right now…”

Smiling softly, Souji just leaned back into his embrace. “You need sleep. I want sleep. We’ll have time, you know? Besides, there’s only two more weeks left before you finally quit.”

“Yeah.” Nuzzling Souji’s shoulder, Yosuke finally let go, yawning. “Then, apart from emergencies, I’ll be _free_.”

“And you can make the rest of the gang help out, as well, in emergencies. Especially Kanji and Naoto, they don’t have entrance exams this year.” As Yosuke mhm’d him, swaying a little unsteadily on his feet, Souji pushed him gently in the direction of the stairs. “Go lay out the futon, I need to grab my shower.”

“‘Kay.”

* * *

Souji - not as exhausted as Yosuke but still _very_ tired - took as quick a shower as he could; by the time his bedroom lights were off and he was climbing into the futon, however, Yosuke was already asleep, and Souji could hear the tiny, intermittent half-snore that happened whenever the brunette was completely worn out. Smiling softly, Souji wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. 

“Love you,” he murmured, closing his eyes.

Still asleep, Yosuke turned, muttered something, and wrapped his arms back around Souji, burying his face under the covers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **shogayaki** \- pan-fried soy/ginger pork  
>  **bento** \- a japanese lunchbox into which the food is placed directly


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 54 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Birthday time!
> 
> 2) The song Yosuke plays is [this](https://soundcloud.com/ersona4ancingllight/same-time-same-feeling). Full disclosure, I've never played DAN and I have no idea if this song has any meaning in the context of the game, but I love it and together with the title ("Same Time, Same Feeling") it's always made me think about Souji and Yosuke meeting up, time and again, lifetime after lifetime, always loving each other more than anything and anyone else. (Yep. I'm an incorrigible sap.)
> 
> 3) This is officially the longest fanfiction I have ever written.

“I _love_ it, big bro!” Nanako held the t-shirt up with shining eyes. “It’s Loveline’s favourite colours! Thank you!” 

Laughing quietly, Souji gently tugged on one of her ponytails. “It matches the hair clips dad got you, right?” The clips were Nanako’s newest prized possessions, as she was currently growing her hair out, and her eyes widened. 

“They do match! Big bro, I wanna wear it soon, can I?”

With a smile, he nodded. “Yep. How about we go on a picnic when school gets out?”

“Can we? With everybody? Even Rise-chan? She promised she’d be coming back to stay for the summer!” 

“Yep, with everybody, even Rise-chan.”

“Yay!”

* * *

When Nanako ran into her room to carefully put her new shirt away, Souji headed upstairs; he’d gotten his final paycheck from Junes that afternoon, and the rest of the group - even Teddie, which made Souji both proud and a little astonished - had already given him their contributions. Sitting down, he started counting it out at his desk - now made homey with a potted cactus (a gift from Nanako), several picture frames (a group shot from the last day of school and a picture Dojima had taken of Souji, Yosuke, and Nanako taken when she received an award at school for a picture she’d drawn), and a (handmade) stuffed cat that Kanji had given him. Three of the bills that Chie and Yukiko had given him were so new that they stuck together - leading to a very bad five minutes where he thought he was almost 10,000 yen short - but eventually he had everything sorted and, after checking the internet, reassured himself that he had enough. 

Now to Buy the Thing.

He knew that there was no way he could fit it on his scooter, and taking it on the train was a recipe for disaster - nevermind that he might run into Yosuke. That meant having to wait for a day that his dad had some free time and could take him to Okina City in the car - Souji felt guilty about it, but Dojima just laughed and said he had some shopping to do, too, so it was all well and good. 

They took Nanako - deciding to make a family day of it, with lunch and a kids’ movie she’d been wanting to see - and Souji’s errand was the last stop. It took a lot of willpower not to get distracted - it was his and Yosuke’s favourite store in Okina, after all - but he managed to get in and out relatively quickly. When he carried it out to the car, Dojima raised an eyebrow as he helped lift it into the trunk.

“Holy shi-” he glanced at Nanako. “Er, smokes, it’s big. You buy this thing on your own?” He eyed the box.

“No, we all went in on it. Rise, too.” Souji patted it, looking pleased, and Dojima chuckled. 

“Well, whatever makes you kids happy.”

* * *

Now that the Thing was Bought, the rest of the month passed far too slowly for Souji’s taste; although school and studies with Yosuke (and sometimes Chie and Yukiko) kept him relatively busy, he couldn’t stop daydreaming about Yosuke’s reaction when he opened it. It was currently sitting, carefully wrapped, in Nanako’s closet; the brunette was over often enough, and kept enough of his things in Souji’s room (and vice versa) that the silver-haired boy didn’t feel comfortable that his boyfriend wouldn’t find it one afternoon. 

As their birthday was on a school evening, the group decided not to do anything _too_ big. They’d all get Aiya’s after class, then go back to the Dojimas’ for cake and presents. Yosuke told Yukiko and Chie (Naoto had decided she was uninterested in the culinary arts) that they could bake the cake _if_ they did it at Souji’s house the night before; ostensibly so that Nanako could help, but really so that Souji could keep a wary eye on their use of salt, chili powder, and raw fish. While the girls knew perfectly well _why_ they had to, well, it meant baking with Nanako, so they agreed. After some thought, Naoto decided she’d join them, after all.

Souji - who spent the evening reading his law textbook at the kitchen table (Chie took one look, crossed her eyes, and told him he was nuts) - found that he only had to step in once, to support Naoto as she told Yukiko that no, tablespoons and teaspoons _weren’t_ ‘practically the same thing’, especially when it came to baking soda. Nanako got to ice the cake - Yukiko taught her how to make icing rosettes - and it was a successful evening.

When Souji was lying in bed that night (he was having trouble sleeping, having never been so excited about a birthday before, but then he’d never had a birthday worth being excited over before) his phone buzzed.

> u stil alive

> r did the grls poison u

Smiling, Souji rolled over to text Yosuke back. His boyfriend had been called in to help at Junes - not something they _wanted_ , but something they’d expected, and at least it was only the first time since he’d quit.

> I’m alive. The house is still standing. Nanako is not dead. No one was poisoned.

> gud thing, ‘d hate 2 hav 2 kil chie

> How was Junes? You didn’t have to work late, did you?

> nop, place stil sux tho

> I hope this doesn’t happen often.

> prob won’t, dad chewed sum1 out 4 tryin 2 get me 2 go bak

> he’s super siked abt the grade i got on that paper ur a lifesavr partner

> Yosuke, you did all the research yourself on that one. I just checked it for spelling and grammar. You didn’t even do too badly on that.

> <3 how abt u say that agin nxt time mom invits u 4 diner

It still took Soui time, occasionally, to interpret some of his boyfriend’s texts. Sighing with fond exasperation, he shook his head.

> Your texts, however...

> she duz want 2 c Nanako again btw

> wtf dude these r my happy place

> let me mispel in peas

> That… that had to be deliberate.

> ¯\\_(¬‿¬)_/¯

There was a break after that; Souji was just drifting to sleep when his phone buzzed again, the light of the screen enough to wake him up. Flipping open the phone, he saw another text.

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY PARTNER ♪oヽ( ´∀｀)っ┌iii┐

Blinking, Souji looked at the clock - 12:01 am. Feeling warm inside, he rubbed his thumb across the screen before responding.

> Happy birthday, Yosuke. <3

> wuz i the 1st

> To say happy birthday? Yes, since I’m in bed. You should be, too. 

> i am i just wantd 2 wait ^ 4 that

> luv u

> nite <3

> I love you, too. Sleep well. 

* * *

The next morning, Souji woke up - as usual - when Nanako tapped on his door; checking his phone, he saw that he already had a birthday text from Rise.

Nanako - who he’d been teaching to cook at the same time as Yosuke - had made him coffee and tamagoyaki that was only slightly scorched (but perfectly sweet); she told him that Dojima had been called into the office but that ‘they’d celebrate that night after his friends left.’

School was uneventful; there were a few handmade cards in each of their shoe lockers, but the day passed quickly enough. Dinner was fun, but halfway through, Yosuke leaned over to whisper in Souji’s ear.

“Dude, you okay? That’s the fourth time you’ve looked at the clock and you’re bouncing your leg. You never bounce your leg.”

Laughing guiltily, Souji looked down at his mapo tofu. “Sorry. I’m just really excited.” 

“Me too.” Yosuke gave him a little smile, squeezing his hand as it sat on the seat between them. “Even more now, since I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this worked up over something before.”

Chie, sitting across from them, sighed. “Come _onnnn_ , guys. I’ll give you a pass because it’s your birthday but jeeze! Stop being so gross!” 

Souji eyed her. “Chie, you’ve had your hand on Yukiko’s knee for the entire meal.”

As Chie turned red, Yukiko snorted and then burst out into a guffaw, at which point Chie turned even redder. “Come _on_ , Yukiko, that’s not making it any better!” It was mumbled, but everybody heard it; Yukiko just laughed harder, and everyone else joined in. 

Teddie, as always, saw his chance, and took it. “Oooh, oooh, does this mean that Chie-chan really _is_ Yuki-chan’s prince charming?”

“Nuh-uh.” Still giggling, Yukiko grinned. “She’s my princess!” 

“ _Oh god Yukiko that’s even worse!_ ” Chie sank her head into her hands as Yosuke just grinned.

“Oh, man, after all the crap you gave us? This is going to be _so much fun_.”

Chie kicked him under the table.

* * *

As much as she might have wanted to, Chie didn’t die from embarrassment, and Souji made it through the meal without exploding with impatience. When they got to the Dojimas’, Yukiko got drinks for everyone while Souji asked Kanji to help him carry out Yosuke’s present.

When they walked into the living room, carrying it, Yosuke - who’d just placed a sealed card in front of Souji’s seat - blinked at them, his eyes widening.

“What the- holy shit, dude, what the hell?”

“It’s from all of us,” Souji said, looking shy now that the time had actually come. 

Yosuke looked around the table, and the faces smiling at him - friends he knew he could never replace - made his cheeks flush. He shrugged, grinning. “All right, then. Here goes!”

He got the ribbon untied, but the tape defeated him, and he finally just grabbed a section of wrapping paper from the middle and _pulled_.

“Jeeze, dude, you must have used an entire roll of _oh my god you guys WHAT_.” 

When the logo on the box appeared he let go of the paper, sitting back down, heavily, a stunned expression on his face. “I just- I don’t- oh my god, guys, this is the coolest thing anybody’s ever given me.”

“Souji-kun came up with the idea,” Yukiko said, smiling. 

“Yeah, senpai paid for most of it, too. We just chipped in.” Kanji patted Souji on the shoulder; the silver-haired boy was bright red by this point, though the look on Yosuke’s face seemed to be everything he’d ever wanted. 

“Rise helped,” Souji mumbled, as Yosuke’s grateful gaze fell on him, making his fingers and toes tingle. The brunette just threw himself at his boyfriend, arms around his neck, and Souji hugged him tightly. 

“You like it, then?”

“ _Duh!_ ” Yosuke was so happy he was almost crying. “Dude. My gift isn’t half as good, though.”

“It’s from you, it’s already amazing.” 

Chie looked as if she wanted to gag, but she glanced at Yukiko and held her tongue; after a moment, Yosuke pulled away and pushed the card closer. 

“Well, go ahead.” 

He watched nervously as Souji slit the envelope open; he’d wanted to give this to Souji in private, but he knew that if he hadn’t had _something_ to give Souji the others would have given him hell, and if he’d said he was waiting they’d just assume the worst and, well, they’d find out at some point, anyway. 

Souji was as puzzled as the rest of the group. When he got the envelope open, he saw a birthday card - it looked like a generic Junes card, but there were a few paragraphs written on the inside, so he left it in the envelope. Anything Yosuke wanted to write in a birthday card wasn’t something he was willing to share with the rest of the group.

Inside the card was a printout folded around several smaller slips of paper, however, and Souji pulled them out. Unfolding the printout, he blinked; there were two sets of train tickets, two concert tickets - _L’Arc en Ciel!_ He gasped at that - and the printout seemed to be a reservation for two nights at a hotel in Ikebukuro. Souji blinked, his eyes wide, as Chie leaned over and gasped. 

“Whaaaat? A trip to Tokyo? A _hotel room?_ ” She looked at Yosuke, who was bright red by this point.

“It’s a concert! And I figured we could check out colleges, and see Rise, and…” 

Souji looked back down at the tickets, then up at Yosuke, a tempered smile on his face. “I’ll have to ask dad-”

“I, uh, already did.” Yosuke rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “He said that since it was during break it’d be okay provided we did good on our exams. _Well_. If we did _well_ on our exams.”

Souji’s wary smile broke into one that was so bright and sunny that nobody teased them when he leaned in, giving his boyfriend a grateful (if short) kiss. “It’s wonderful. Perfect. I can’t wait.” 

“Good.” Yosuke still looked embarrassed - especially at the kiss - but seeing Souji so happy was _worth it_ , dammit.

After a moment, Naoto broke the silence by clearing her throat and suggesting they all have cake; they’d just sliced into it when they heard the front door open and Nanako - who’d been at piano lessons - came flying into the room. 

“Big bro! Yosuke-nii! Happy birthday!” She threw herself at both of them, and they caught her together, laughing in one big group hug.

“Happy birthday, Souji. Yosuke.” Smiling, Dojima came in behind her. “We’re not too late for cake, are we?”

* * *

Once cake had been enjoyed, the rest of the group went home, albeit reluctantly - homework made no exceptions for birthdays, no matter how fun they might be. Dojima looked at the clock. 

“Well, I guess it’s time for us to give you our presents, Souji. Sorry, Hanamura, I should have realized that Souji would have you staying over-”

“Oh no no, it’s fine.” Yosuke waved his hands. “My folks didn’t get anything for Souji, don’t worry about it. Mom did tell me to tell you happy birthday, though, partner.”

Souji smiled as Nanako looked over at their father. “Does that mean it’s time?”

“Go ahead, Nanako. You go first.”

“Yay!” The little girl got up, running into her room; coming back a moment later, Souji was stunned to see her carrying her violin case with a large pink bow on it. “Um. Happy birthday, big bro!” 

When she handed it to him, he looked up at her, eyes wide. “Nanako, this isn’t- you can’t-”

“I want you to have it, big bro! You love it as much as I do and I know mom would have wanted you to have it.” 

Running his fingers across the case, he blinked hard before setting it aside to hug his little sister, tightly. She just returned the hug, smiling so happily that even the brunette felt himself tearing up, although he hid it by brushing his bangs out of his eyes. 

Dojima watched the siblings with a warm - if wistful - smile on his face; once they separated, he cleared his throat, standing up. “Nanako stole my thunder, but I kinda knew she would. It’s fine.” He walked over to the hallway closet, opening it; a large, wrapped box sat upright on one end. “Hanamura, can I get a hand?”

Yosuke, looking more than a little curious, scrambled to his feet. “Sure.” Running over, he helped Dojima lift the box; when they both had a good grip on it, he raised an eyebrow, catching Dojima’s eye. The detective just gave him a wry grin, and they carried it over.

Souji, by this point, was also eyeing the box. “Dad, you really didn’t-”

“I wanted to. Go ahead, open it.”

While Souji was usually a careful unwrapper, it was impossible to do anything other than rip the paper off with a box that large, although Souji was much neater about it than Yosuke had been. As the top of the box came into view, Souji blinked, and then just sat back, starting to laugh. 

“Are you serious?”

“Yep.” Dojima chuckled, and Nanako scooted around the table. 

“Ya-ma-ha. Hey, that’s what’s written on my teacher’s piano! I dunno what M-O-X-F-8 spells, though.” She looked over next to Yosuke. “Wow, Yosuke-nii has one, too!” 

“They’re keyboards,” Souji said, smiling. “It’s a workstation, which means I can hook it up to my laptop and compose songs.”

She looked at him, wide-eyed. “Like Rise-chan?”

“Yep, like Rise-chan.” Smiling, he ran his hand over the box before looking up at Dojima. “Dad, I-”

“Don’t say it, Souji. I know I didn’t have to but I wanted to. Happy birthday. Though, I don’t know what you kids are gonna do with _two_ of them…”

“Are you kidding?” Yosuke looked thrilled. “We can set them up for different keys and instruments, play songs together, dude I know you’re just starting but I’ve got the _best_ keyboard book, it’s seriously _so helpful_ and when you’ve learned the basics we can-”

Chuckling, Dojima cut him off. “All right, all right. It’s a school night, though, so talk about that stuff tomorrow afternoon, or this weekend. And don’t neglect your studies.”

Remembering that good exam scores stood between them and their trip, Yosuke swallowed. “Yessir. Uh, here, partner, I’ll leave mine down here, but I’ll help you carry yours upstairs.”

* * *

Yosuke got his shower first; while Souji took his, the brunette worked on setting up Souji’s workstation. Once it was assembled and plugged in, he couldn’t resist trying it out, touching a key here or there. 

When Souji walked in, Yosuke was so engrossed that he didn’t even notice. The silver-haired boy smirked, walking up behind his boyfriend. 

“Having fun?”

Yosuke smiled. “Yeah, dude, listen.” He hit play, and a song started. It was just a pre-recorded drum track topped by two or three layered keyboard pieces, but it was pretty - a bit sentimental, a bit wistful, and really good for having just been thrown together. Souji blinked, then smiled at Yosuke, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

“I like it.” Holding a hand out, he pulled Yosuke into his arms. “It’s been an amazing day.”

“Tell me about it, partner.” Smiling, Yosuke put his head on Souji's shoulder as they swayed to the music. “I can’t believe you got me a MOX. But, I mean, even without that…”

“I know what you mean.” Souji closed his eyes, touching his forehead to Yosuke’s briefly before pulling back. “And it’s not over yet.”

“That’s right, we’ve got the concert, and the trip.” Yosuke was starting to get excited again, but he stopped - mouth going suddenly dry - when he saw the _look_ Souji was giving him. 

“Mmmm.” Silver eyes half-lidded, smirk playing around the corners of his lips, Souji leaned in. “That too. I meant tonight, though.” 

It was all Yosuke could do not to whimper - well aware that they weren't alone in the house - when Souji kissed him sweetly, warmly, hungrily, as he slid his hand into the brunette's hair, pulling him even closer.


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 55 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I should have known better than to plan for the trip to only take one chapter.
> 
> I stayed in Ikebukuro recently, it's pretty nice! Summer in Tokyo is _way too hot_ , though. (Speaking of temp, since it's Japan, I used Celsius. 35 Celsius is approx. 95 Fahrenheit.)

“Uuuugggghhhhh, I knew I should have written _ammonium_ chloride instead of _sodium_ chloride!” Yosuke slumped backwards at his desk, waving his graded exam.

“Yosuke, you got an A-. You made it into the top five. It’s okay if you missed a few questions.” Souji patted the brunette on the shoulder as his boyfriend, looking up, gave him a grateful smile.

“It’s only because you’re dating Souji!” Chie looked grumpy - she hadn’t failed, nor had she done as badly as in prior years - but she hadn’t gotten anywhere near an A. “It’s like dating a walking cram school!”

Souji looked a little offended, as did Yukiko; Yosuke turned in his seat. “Dude that is completely unfair. Sure Souji helps me study, but he doesn’t take my tests for me! Plus, he gave us, like, four group study sessions. It’s not my fault if you got bored!”

“Didn’t you say that Yukiko was going to help you study?” Souji raised an eyebrow, looking at Yukiko’s score - an A-, like Yosuke’s, though she was a few places below him in the score rankings. “She seems to have done very well, too. Congratulations, Yukiko.”

“Thank you, Souji-kun.” She smiled at him before eyeing Chie, who turned bright red. 

“I- she did, but… dangit, I’m sorry, Yukiko.” Chie grimaced at her exam. “I just, man, I don’t even know if I _want_ to go to uni.”

“You don’t need to if you want to become a police officer, right? You’ll still have to get into the police academy, though.” Yosuke shrugged. “Not everybody goes to uni, you know? It’s no biggie.” He stretched. “You’re not going to college, right, Yukiko?”

“I’m still thinking about getting a trade certificate, but I can get that here.” 

Yosuke yawned. “See? You n’ Yukiko can figure it out. ‘Swhat Souji and I did.”

Chie sighed.“Yeah, I know. Sorry I snapped at you, Yosuke. Sorry, Souji, Yukiko.”

“It’s fine.” Souji smiled, pulling out bentos for himself and Yosuke. “I don’t think anybody’s _not_ stressed about the future, you know?” He handed a box to Yosuke, who cracked the lid with a fist-pump and a ‘yesss!’ when he saw that it was katsu curry. “I think we all understand.”

“You’re trying for Tokyo University, right Souji-kun?” Yukiko had her bento out now, and if Chie’s matched it, well, nobody said anything. “What about you, Yosuke-kun?”

“Dunno.” He rubbed his neck, smiling a little at Souji’s look of encouragement. “Maybe Tokyo College of Music. I’m gonna apply to the University of Arts, too, I mean, and maybe a couple of others… I dunno if any place will have me, but…”

“But nothing.” Souji pointed his chopsticks at the brunette. “You’ll be fine.”

“Easy for you to say,” Yosuke grumbled. “Mr. Number-one-in-class-who-never-misses-a-question.”

“That's how _I_ get a scholarship. You can also play circles around me, musically, and that’s how _you_ get a scholarship.”

“Well, at least we both passed.” Yosuke brightened. “Means your dad shouldn’t complain about the trip. I know my folks won’t.”

“When are you guys going?” Chie stuffed a beef-and-potato korroke into her mouth. 

“Right after summer break starts - like, in two weekends.” Yosuke used his last piece of katsu to scrape the last dregs of curry out of the corners of the box as Souji just sighed at him. 

“Isn’t Rise-chan coming to visit after that?” Yukiko smiled. “I’ll bet Nanako-chan is looking forward to that.”

“She is.” Souji smiled, taking Yosuke’s bento box away before he decided to lick the lid; his boyfriend made a face at him and he smirked. “We’re meeting Rise on Sunday and she’ll be taking the train back with us. Nanako has already been practicing a song she picked out to play just for her.”

“She’s _really_ enjoying those piano lessons, dude.” Yosuke grinned. “Maybe some day we’ll have her play some stuff with us.”

“Who knows?” Souji smiled. “I wouldn’t mind.”

* * *

“Oh man, this is super cool. I’ve never had a chance to take the shinkansen before - when we left Tokyo to come to Inaba, we drove because we had all the house stuff.” Yosuke settled down in his seat - his boyfriend had insisted he take the window seat, for which the brunette was grateful - as Souji stowed their bags on the upper racks. 

“It’s not bad. It’s certainly more comfortable than the express train.” Fishing two bottles of tea out of the lunch bag, he handed one to Yosuke before placing his in the drink holder on the back of the seat in front of his. Grabbing his small laptop bag, he took his seat just as the loudspeaker buzzed to life, telling everyone that they’d be leaving shortly.

“At least we slept on the train.” Yosuke rubbed his eyes. “Can’t believe I got 6am tickets.”

“It _is_ a seven-hour trip.” Souji smiled. “A two-hour nap was nice, and leaving that early means we’ll get to the hotel right in time to check in.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Yosuke pulled a crumpled map out of his hoodie pocket - no matter how warm the weather was, it was _cold_ on the train. “We should reach Tokyo station at noon, too. I can’t wait to get ramen!” He pumped his fist. “Used to go through that station all the time. It’s _huge_ , partner.” 

“Good, that means you can show me around.” Souji smiled. “I never traveled much when I was in town. I went through that station a time or two - like when I came to Inaba - but I was too busy following signs to care about what was there.” 

“Yeah, well, now you’ve got all the time in the world.” Youske grinned, bumping the silver-haired boy’s shoulder with his own. “There was this western-style bakery that had the best lemon cake oh my godddddd, I hope it’s still there.” Souji chuckled.

Suddenly remembering a stray thought he’d had that morning, Yosuke’s face fell, and Souji raised an eyebrow.

“What’s up?”

Fidgeting with the map, Yosuke focused on the crescent moon creases he was pressing into the paper with his thumbnail. “I never asked, and I don’t want to bring up bad memories, but where do your biologicals live? I know where you were gonna go to school, but that doesn’t mean it’s the same area, and I just want to make sure we’re not going to have to worry about… well… you know.”

Giving Yosuke a soft smile, Souji settled back in his seat. “It’s okay. They live in Shinjuku, but they’re out of the city again. Dad already checked for me.”

“Phew.” Yosuke exhaled a sigh of relief, and Souji - leaning across under the pretense of adjusting the window blinds to give them more light - gave him a quick kiss. The brunette just grinned, grabbing his boyfriend’s hand.

As the train pulled out of the station, Souji took some flash cards out of his laptop bag and handed them to Yosuke; the brunette blinked at him.

“Dude, what’s this?”

“Vocabulary cards. We’ve got five hours, and neither of us need to spend that much time on phone games.” 

“Whaaaa?” The brunette grimaced. “Are you kidding me? Besides, I just wanted to talk, I wasn’t gonna ignore you and play games!” At Souji’s raised eyebrow, he flushed. “Well, not much…”

“We can spend time together like this - and look at it this way, if we get in five hours of studying today we won’t have to feel so guilty about spending the entire weekend enjoying ourselves. You know we have to do this stuff when we can fit it in; when we’re at home it’s usually more important for us to practice.”

“Yeah, I know.” Yosuke exhaled. “Fine, you’re right, let’s do this.”

* * *

He had to admit that studying with Souji really wasn’t so bad - while quiet, his boyfriend had a _really nice voice_ and, _you know, we’re going to be together non-stop for three whole days, and it isn’t a big hotel room but the pictures online looked nice, with a double bed and a flat-screen tv and free wifi and a decent bathroom, and there’s a pool on the roof and a hot tub and, well, maybe there won’t be too many folks around, and_ -

“-suke.” 

_I mean it’s not like we’re not together a lot but there’s something about being alone together for three days - well, until we pick up Rise - I just hope it_ -

“ _Yosuke!_ ” Souji flicked him on the forehead.

“ _Ow!_ ” The brunette rubbed his forehead, then realized he’d been zoning out; he turned red. “Er, crap. Sorry, partner.”

“It’s okay.” Souji just sighed - half wryly, half in amusement. “It _has_ been a couple of hours. Want to take a break? I packed some snacks.”

“Heck yeah!” 

Standing, Souji rummaged in the lunch box for a moment, bringing out a wrapped packet of onigiri - half ume, half shredded beef and sesame. As Yosuke bit into one of the ume riceballs, Souji looked over.

“So, what were you daydreaming about?”

“Uh.” When the brunette flushed, Souji smirked, and Yosuke hit his knee. “ _Dude_. Not that. Well, not- just, ugh. I was thinking about the hotel and how we’ve never really had three days to ourselves like this or anything, and…” He trailed off, looking sheepish.

Laughing, his boyfriend handed him the plum out of his own riceball, knowing how much Yosuke loved them. “I’m looking forward to it, too. What’s the hotel like?”

“It’s really cool! It’s just around the corner from the station, and there’s a bunch of restaurants inside and they’ve got free breakfast and wifi and a pool and a hot tub, and it's got pretty good ratings.”

Looking thoughtful, Souji bit into one of the beef onigiri. “Wonder when the hot tub is going to be least crowded.” He gave Yosuke a _gentle_ look that made the brunette turn red again, feeling warm enough that he almost wanted to take off his hoodie. 

“Well, I dunno dude, we could probably ask at the desk?” The idea embarrassed him, _but after that look_ … he figured it would be worth it.

“Mmmm.” Souji just smiled at him again and put his head on the brunette’s shoulder. “You put a lot of thought into this trip. Thank you.”

“Hey, nothing but the best for my partner.” Yosuke grinned at him, leaning around to give him a kiss, though he could only reach his forehead. 

“I already have the best.” Souji squeezed his hand, and Yosuke turned pink, burying his embarrassment in another riceball.

* * *

“Wow, this is actually a nice room. Kinda small, but there’s still room to spread out.” Dropping his duffel on the rack next to the dresser, Yosuke flopped onto the bed. “Ooooh. It’s comfy.” 

“Nice view.” Souji pulled the curtains aside; it was just the time of day where the sun was angled away, so they had light without the blinding glare. “We’ve had lunch, and the concert isn’t until, what, eight tonight?”

“Yeah.” Pushing himself up off the bed, Yosuke looked at the clock. They had six hours, give or take. “Want to walk around? There’s a huge anime store a couple of blocks over, I used to go there some with my friends, and a bunch of stores in the station. We could explore, find a place to have dinner, it’s like a fifteen minute train ride to Bunkyo, where the Dome is.”

Souji took the tickets out of his wallet, handing one to Yosuke. “Do we have seats, or-” He looked at them as Yosuke chuckled.

“Yeah, partner, they’re kinda high up - sorry. But they’re in front of the stage, and I think they’re only using half of the Dome so we should still be able to see everything, I just didn’t figure you’d want to be in the standing-only section, and the other ones were _really_ expensive, and-”

“Yosuke. It’s perfect.” Smiling, the silver-haired boy put the ticket back into his wallet and leaned over, although this time he waited for Yosuke to stop talking - which he did, abruptly - before kissing him. 

When he pulled away, the brunette laughed, a little self-consciously. “I really have to stop worrying, don’t I?”

“Yep.” Souji smiled again. “While I want us to have good enough seats to be able to see and hear everything because you _paid for this_ and I want us to have fun, just being there with you is going to be great. We’ve got a great hotel, we had a great lunch, I’m sure dinner will be great, we’ve got an awesome concert tonight, and I’m here with you. Stop worrying. This has already been a great trip.”

“All right, partner. Thanks.” Yosuke took a deep breath before giving his boyfriend a goofy smile - Souji _always_ knew just what to say whenever he started to worry about not being good enough. Pulling out his phone to check the weather, he grimaced. “It’s 35 degrees outside. How about we do most of our exploring inside? There’s some big shopping complexes around here. We can pick out a place for dinner ahead of time, come back and shower and change - we’re going to want to after that heat - and then go eat and then grab the train.”

“Sounds perfect. I heard there’s a great viewing deck up on Sunshine 60, it’s just around the corner.” Souji looked interested, but Yosuke - surprisingly enough - seemed a little reluctant. 

“Nah, dude. It’s inside, and completely closed to the outside, and… just… nah. We can hit up Sunshine, there’s a lot of stuff there, but… don’t worry about the view, okay?” He fidgeted with his hoodie for a second before turning away to drop it on the bed.

Souji raised an eyebrow, but there was something about Yosuke’s expression that just made him smile and decide to go along with it; he knew Yosuke didn’t have a problem with heights, so it had to be something else. “Then lead on.” He held his hand out for his boyfriend’s; the brunette took it before grabbing the room key out of the light socket, letting the door fall shut behind them after making sure he had his wallet. Yosuke squeezed his boyfriend's hand - he could tell by the silver-haired boy’s smile that Souji had decided not to be curious, and for that, he was grateful; it was hard enough keeping his plans secret for that long.

“All right, let’s hit the town, partner!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **bento** \- a japanese lunchbox into which the food is placed directly  
>  **katsu** \- panko-breaded, fried cutlet, usually pork  
>  **korroke** \- croquettes, usually made from potato and stuffed with beef, chicken, cheese, etc.  
>  **shinkansen** \- high-speed bullet trains  
>  **onigiri** \- rice balls, usually formed into triangles with fillings pressed into the back, seaweed wrapped around them, and/or furikake (seasoning that often consists of salt, fish flakes, sesame seeds, flaked seaweed, and other items)  
>  **ume/umeboshi** \- pickled plum


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 56 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a few days since I posted anything - a lot of stuff has come up at work, and I've been feeling kind of down about my writing lately. I've still got plenty to write and plenty of inspiration, but it takes me a while to get rid of the 'everything I do sucks' feeling. Don't worry, though, I won't stop writing this story until it's complete, I promise!
> 
> Lots of fluff and innuendo in this one. Also, I headcanon that Yosuke is a blanket-burrower and usually ends up halfway down the bed.
> 
> I really miss the National Museum. It's one of my favourite places to go in Tokyo. Note that the scrolls I mention ('the first novel') are _The Tale of Genji_ , the oldest known novel, written by noblewoman Murasaki Shikibu in the early 1000s; the oldest surviving copies are actually located in museums outside of Tokyo, but you know... exhibits travel, right?

“That was _so cool!_ ” 

Yosuke had to shout to be heard above the crowd and the sound system, but the sparkle in his eyes was unmistakeable, and Souji nodded, enthusiastically. 

He tried to shout something back; Yosuke frowned and cupped his ear, and Souji just sighed and smiled wryly, giving Yosuke a thumbs up before pointing towards the exit. Nodding, Yosuke grabbed his boyfriend’s hand - the brunette was a lot more used to crowds than Souji was - and started to navigate their way through the thronging masses.

Once they were finally out into the main concourse, Yosuke pulled Souji into an out-of-the way corner under the stairs and near some coin lockers. “Holy crap I forgot how crowded these places get.”

“No kidding.” Souji was looking a bit shell-shocked. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in a place with so many people at once.”

“It was worth it, though, right?” Yosuke looked worried, and Souji chuckled.

“More than worth it. That _was_ really cool - they played our favourites, you know?” A smile as he squeezed his boyfriend’s hand. “Thank you.”

“Hey, this is the first time I ever came to a show with somebody else, and it made it that much cooler. You don’t have to thank me.” Yosuke grinned. “But we should probably get out of here. We don’t want to miss the last train.”

“Yeah.” They headed for the entrance; the crowds had died down somewhat on that side of the stadium, so they could finally talk without having to yell. “The opening band was really good.”

“Oh man, they were! I really loved their sound. I’ll have to see-” Yosuke paused for a second, as if remembering something, then shut his mouth and shrugged. “Uh, yeah, they were cool. Hey, let’s find a ramen place or something once we get back to Ikebukuro, I’m hungry.”

Souji raised an eyebrow at Yosuke’s sudden change of subject; he’d been waffling back and forth on ‘how cool’ the opening band was since he’d come back from the bathroom between sets. Given their trip to the anime store that afternoon - where Yosuke had excitedly grabbed the soundtrack to one of his newest favourite games, carried it around the store for an half-hour, and then appeared at Souji’s side without it and with a forced grin as he said something about ‘hearing it wasn’t very good after all’ - Souji was starting to do the math. 

“Sure, if you know any good places that are still open. My treat - I mean, you bought me train tickets, concert tickets, and a hotel room.”

“O-oh, sure, partner. Thanks!” Although Yosuke tried to hide his expression of relief, Souji was looking for it, and it was enough to convince him that his math was sound. Responding merely with a squeeze to Yosuke’s hand, he let the brunette lead the way to the station as he thought about the situation.

 _Given how much this trip is costing - shinkansen tickets, a hotel room, concert tickets? - he’s got to be on a tight budget. He probably forgot to add anything other than food and basic sightseeing expenses - or he just couldn’t afford it. I’m betting he stopped by the merch stand to see how much the CDs were, then decided not to talk about them any more since he couldn’t buy any_. Feeling a bit guilty - and very warm - he softly smiled at the back of Yosuke’s head as he watched the brunette navigate through the Bunkyo station.

* * *

After late-night ramen - there was something exciting about sitting in a well-lit, unfamiliar restaurant after midnight in the middle of a city that was still very much awake - they took a slow walk, hand-in-hand, back to the hotel. Souji had barely gotten the room door closed before Yosuke had him cornered, kissing his neck; this led to a very nice few minutes, but eventually Souji had to pull away.

“Let me- let me get a shower first? It’s still gross outside, and the concert wasn’t much cooler, even if it was indoors.”

“Yeah.” Yosuke put his hand up to feel how sticky his own neck was, and grimaced. “Yeah, we’ll both get showers. I’d say together, but-” 

“-but that bathroom is so small that one of us would end up hitting their head and probably dying.” Souji gave a chuckle. “It’s okay.”

“Yeah, it’d probably be me.” Yosuke gave a rueful smile. “All right, you get your shower first, and I’ll grab some drinks from the vending machine.”

By the time Yosuke was dry and in his pajamas, Souji had already finished half of his lemon tea and was feeling more than a little sleepy; that didn’t stop him from smiling, however, when Yosuke reached for him. He closed his eyes, ghosting a sigh of happiness as the brunette nuzzled his neck again; sliding a hand into his boyfriend’s hair, he’d just shifted to get a little more comfortable when he felt Yosuke stifle a huge yawn against his shoulder.

“Oh, _shit_ , I’m so sorry-” The brunette pulled back, looking mortified; Souji smirked, leaning up to give him a quick kiss. 

“Don’t be sorry. I think we’re both exhausted - our train left this morning at _six_ , remember? And it’s been a long day. I’m pretty tired myself.” 

“Ugh.” Yosuke just flopped down on top of Souji, resting his cheek on his boyfriend’s chest. “I guess you’re right.” 

The silver-haired boy reached above the headboard, dropping the air conditioning a few more degrees so that they could sleep comfortably before turning off the lamp. “That doesn’t mean we can’t pick this back up later.”

“Heh. Yeah. Yeah, we will.” Souji could hear the smirk in his boyfriend’s voice as he placed a kiss on Souji’s collarbone. “Night, Souji.”

“Night, Yosuke.” Smiling, Souji wrapped his arms around the brunette; they were both asleep within minutes.

* * *

They rarely ever woke up in the same positions they’d fallen asleep - it didn’t make much difference when they were sharing a single-person futon, but there was a lot more _room_ in a double bed. When Souji - somehow, _miraculously_ \- woke up before Yosuke, the brunette was curled up around a pillow, buried under the blankets.

Souji stifled a laugh, looking over at the bedside clock; it wasn’t _early_ \- likely the reason he’d woken up, as he rarely slept in - but it was early enough that there was no good reason to disturb Yosuke. Staring at the ceiling, Souji thought back to the night before; after a few minutes, a flash of resolve crossed his face and he slowly pulled himself out of bed, making sure not to wake his boyfriend. Getting dressed quietly - yet another skill he’d mastered in his years living in his biological home - he scribbled “grabbing coffee” on the hotel notepad before slipping out of the room. 

When he returned an hour later, carrying some bags - two of which he slipped into his suitcase, immediately, before stowing the other in the small fridge under the desk - Yosuke was still asleep, although he’d emerged from his cocoon halfway down the bed and was sprawled at an angle with his head on Souji’s pillow. The sight - of both boyfriend _and_ comfortable bed - made the taller boy yawn, so he changed back into his sleep clothes before slipping back into bed. 

No sooner had he laid down than Yosuke let go of the pillow he’d been holding and wrapped his arms around Souji’s waist, burying his face in his boyfriend’s shoulder. Souji smiled, pulling the brunette close before falling asleep again.

* * *

He was woken some time later by Yosuke crawling over him, out of the bed; it wasn’t until he heard the sink running and the bathroom door open again that he stretched, finally opening his eyes. Yosuke was standing next to the bed, looking at the notepad in his hand. 

“Grabbing coffee?” 

Smirking at his boyfriend’s bedhead, Souji nodded, twisting to one side to pop his back. “Yeah. I woke up earlier and decided to hit the konbini. There’s iced coffee and some chestnut cream puffs in the fridge.”

“ _Partner_ , you’re awesome.” Yosuke grinned, putting the notepad down. “Although, you know.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, using his hip to scoot Souji over. 

“Hmm?” Souji had just reached up to run his fingers through his own hair when he saw the look on his boyfriend’s face. He couldn’t help his goofy, blushing grin as Yosuke leaned over, putting a hand on either side of Souji’s waist, pinning him beneath the blankets. 

“Oh, I’m just thinking that there’s something else I’d rather have before breakfast, now that we’re both well-rested and all that.” His lips brushed Souji’s neck as the silver-haired boy shivered, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s chest. 

“I think that sounds like an amazing idea.”

* * *

It was a little before noon by the time they left the hotel; they’d decided to check out their respective colleges the next day, since the campuses would probably be least crowded on a Sunday. It was still way too hot, so they headed for Ueno Park where - after Yosuke’s insistence - Souji had picked out a few museums he was interested in visiting. 

“I used to come to the National Museum whenever I could,” Souji said as they walked up the wide stone steps. “I don’t know if you’ll find it very interesting, though.” He gave Yosuke a worried glance. “We really don’t have to-”

“Dude.” Yosuke chuckled. “History can be kinda cool if you’re not gonna make me write a paper about it. Don’t worry. I planned for this sort of thing, and it’s too hot to just wander around outside, anyway. Just expect me to ask a bunch of questions.”

“That’s fine.” Souji smiled, brushing his hand against his boyfriend’s, before linking their fingers together. “Ask about whatever you want.”

Truthfully, Yosuke hadn’t really been looking forward to the museums too much, but Souji’s enthusiasm was infectious. Watching his boyfriend’s excitement as he read historical plaques next to old scrolls (something about ‘the first novel,’ Yosuke hadn’t been paying _that_ much attention), or pointed out particularly amusing ukiyo-e pieces, made the brunette smile; he realised that even if this wasn’t what he would have picked to do himself, he was having _fun_. It didn’t hurt that the sword collection was really pretty cool, either.

* * *

They had a late lunch before hitting up an arcade - this time Yosuke’s choice, although Souji had just as much fun as his boyfriend despite being completely terrible at everything except the taiko game. They’d just finished a racing game when Yosuke looked up at the clock across the mall.

“Ah, crap, it’s close - hey, partner, we need to get going.”

Glancing at his watch, Souji saw that it was, indeed, getting late. He raised an eyebrow. “Do we have dinner plans?”

“Kinda.” Pausing for a second to pat his pocket, Yosuke nodded to himself before grinning. “Come on.” 

He led the way to the station, but instead of heading back to Ikebukuro - as Souji had expected - they ended up on a different train than they’d used that morning. He knew better than to ask, however; Yosuke clearly had something planned, and Souji was content to follow - just being together was enough for him. 

They got off the train at the Roppongi station; Souji was even more surprised at this, as he was somewhat familiar with the area. There were a handful of embassies in Minato-ku, and he’d been to a few formal dinners and meetings there with his biological family, though he’d never been into the Roppongi section of the ward. He _did_ know that it was an upscale area, however, and he wondered a little at what they were doing there - his musings from the night before came back, and he hoped Yosuke hadn’t planned something ridiculously extravagant. 

Souji’s worry grew as he glanced at a few menus in windows that they passed. _11,000 yen for one person? That’s insane!_ He didn’t say anything to Yosuke, but that didn’t stop him from starting to plan, in his head, the best way to convince his boyfriend that really, couldn’t they just find a yakiniku place, or ramen, or something? They also weren’t _dressed_ for the kinds of restaurants they were passing, so he had no idea what Yosuke was thinking.

When his boyfriend stopped in front of a McDonald’s, Souji almost laughed in relief. 

They’d just sat down with their trays - Yosuke had insisted, this time, on paying - when Souji realised that it still didn’t make sense. “So, wait - this is what we were almost late for? Wasn’t there a McDonald’s on the corner across from the arcade?”

“Er, yeah, but-” Yosuke glanced out the window, then back to Souji. “It’s not the food, it’s the location. Just- you’ll see.”

“All right.” Souji just smiled, picking up his burger.

* * *

Once they were done eating, Yosuke took the lead again. Instead of heading back to the station, the brunette headed across the street and into one of the skyscrapers; when Souji saw the “Roppongi Hills Mori Tower” sign, he started to figure out what was going on. Once they were on an elevator, Yosuke hit the button for the 54th floor; his eyes met Souji’s in the polished wall plate, and the brunette grinned.

Souji responded with a smile. “So, this is why you didn’t want to hit up the Sunshine 60 viewing deck.”

“Yeah.” Hands in his pockets, Yosuke leaned against the elevator wall next to his boyfriend. “Sorry for all the secrecy, but I really wanted to bring you out here - the view is amazing, and it’s open-air. I figured that’d be a lot cooler.”

“Literally.” The silver-haired boy chuckled as the doors opened and they were met by a nice breeze; while it wasn’t anywhere near cool enough to warrant a jacket, it was a lot more comfortable than ground level. The city lay before them, bright lights spreading in every direction as far as the eye could see; Souji looked around, more than a little awed. “ _Wow_.” 

“Yeah, wow is right.” Yosuke moved towards the railings. “Man, I’m glad I don’t have a problem with heights, because this is _badass_.”

“No kidding.” Souji joined him at the railing; they could see Tokyo Tower lit up and, in the far distance, the Odaiba ferris wheel. There was something about the view that made Souji happy; it was a little magical, and made him feel comfortable with its sheer scale. _Big problems feel a lot smaller in the grand scheme of things when you see the world spread out in front of you_. 

Yosuke, standing next to him, took his hand; they smiled at each other for a moment before looking back out at the view, and as they stood there, he felt the brunette’s thumb tracing small circles across his palm. It wasn’t until Souji felt something cold touch his hand that he looked down; his face blanked for a moment. 

_Is that_ -

It _was_. Yosuke had slipped a ring onto the middle finger of Souji’s right hand - the same finger on which the brunette wore his ring. When Souji looked up, his boyfriend was looking at him with a shy expression that was so adorable that if Souji hadn’t been so stunned, he would have _had_ to kiss him. As it was, he looked down again, unable to find his voice, and Yosuke nervously started to speak. 

“You gave me that ring back on V-day, you know, and… I mean… that was, like, a long time ago and I figured it was about time for me to make my own promise, you know? So I found that, and, I mean, I almost got you the same kind of ring you got me, but I figured that wouldn’t work, because we’re different people, and that’s a _good_ thing, and that one looked really cool, and…” Taking a breath, the brunette finally trailed off. “Oh jeeze, partner, say something.” He laughed, trying to hide his embarrassment.

Souji, who’d been staring at the ring - it was antiqued silver, with a wide band covered in patterns that looked Celtic or French, and a pitted, translucent green stone in the centre - looked up, and Yosuke shut his mouth abruptly when he realised that there were tears in the silver-haired boy’s eyes. Souji took a single step forward before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, leaning his head against the brunette’s.

“Yosuke, thank you… I love it, I love _you_ …” 

Exhaling softly, Yosuke returned the hug, holding Souji close as he felt the worry drain from his shoulders. “I love you, too. You... really like it?”

“I love it. I love what it means most of all, but the ring really is beautiful.” He buried his face in the brunette’s shoulder for a moment, breathing in his boyfriend’s scent. 

“Good.” Yosuke tried not to shiver as Souji’s breath tickled his neck. “The place I bought it said that it’s some kind of meteor stone, and that just sounded really cool.”

“Huh.” Tightening his arms briefly, Souji finally pulled back, looking down at the ring with an interested expression. “That is really cool.” Smiling he looked at Yosuke. “It’s amazing. You’re amazing. This is amazing.” He gestured to the view. 

“Good.” Feeling a bit steadier, Yosuke gave him a lopsided grin. “Nice to know I didn’t fuck it up since I’ve been planning this for, like, two months now.” 

“You didn’t fuck it up at all. It’s perfect. Here, come here.” Souji wrapped an arm around Yosuke’s waist, pulling him close as he stepped backwards towards the railing. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his cell phone, leaning in close. “I want a picture of this.” 

Smiling, Yosuke leaned in, resting his head on Souji’s shoulder as his boyfriend snapped a couple of shots. When they were done, Souji checked to see how they’d come out; with a pleased expression, he turned the phone to Yosuke. “Perfect.”

“Wait, did you already set that as your wallpaper?” Yosuke flushed, even as he took the phone to give it a closer look. “Uh, could you send me a copy?”

“Yep. And yep.” Grinning, Souji sent it off before sliding the phone back into his pocket. “The best souvenir I could ask for.” When his boyfriend elbowed him, looking embarrassed, he just laughed. “What are you getting shy for? You just _gave me a ring_. On top of a skyscraper. Looking out over an amazing night view.”

“You don’t have to rub it in,” Yosuke mumbled, shoving his boyfriend’s shoulder with his own. 

Souji just smiled, wrapping an arm around Yosuke’s waist to pull him close. “Hey.” His voice was quiet, and the teasing tone was gone. “I’m really happy right now.” 

“Good. That’s what I wanted.” Yosuke smiled; as he put his arms around Souji’s neck, his boyfriend kissed him. 

When they separated some time later, Souji looked at his watch. “So… this is amazing, but… how about we go back to the hotel? When I checked this morning, the desk clerk said that midnight was probably a good time to find the hot tub empty.”

A slow grin spread across the brunette’s face. “How about we grab a taxi?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **konbini** \- convenience store; Japanese konbini have a wide variety of drinks, snacks, and pre-made meals (anything from onigiri to salads, curry katsu, sushi, or even doria or pasta dishes) and many of them also have baked goods or fried foods that are cooked in-house  
>  **ukiyo-e** \- woodblock printing, popular from the 17th to 19th century; many famous pieces of Japanese art were done in this style, such as Hokusai's _The Great Wave off Kanagawa_  
>  **taiko** \- traditional drumming, using barrel-shaped drums that are struck with wooden sticks and mallets larger than modern drumsticks
> 
> The night view scene actually hit me when I was in Nagoya last month. We went to the top of the TV tower, which was an open-air box (a sort of chain-linked cage), and seeing the view with the breeze on my face was so much nicer than being inside. I though that would be the perfect sort of place for Yosuke to give Souji his return gift.
> 
> The ring, by-the-by, is [moldavite](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moldavite), one of my favourite stones. It's only found in one place, the result of an ancient meteorite crash in southeastern Europe. If you're interested in the _other_ reason I picked it, just check out the last part of the "uses" section of the linked wiki page.


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 57 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the hiatus! I got stuck on the confrontation part of this chapter, and then I ended up taking some time off to write a twinfic (What Came from the Shadows, and I'm totally in love with Yasu (s!Yosuke) now). I'm currently in the middle of taking fluff prompts on [tumblr](http://ohlookashinysquirrel.tumblr.com/), as well; they span the range of Souji/Yosuke pairings (shadows, adult, Yu/Yosuke, OT3, Yu/Yasu, etc) and once I've finished with them they'll be going up here as a series. If you're interested in seeing them as they come out, or want to send me a prompt (there's a list of fluffy things I'm pulling from), feel free to head over there and poke me.

They managed to be up early enough the next morning to take advantage of the breakfast buffet included with their room; they might be a bit sleepy, and they might blush ever-so-slightly whenever they passed the sign for the hot tub, but they were awake enough to make it to both campuses they wanted to check out, with more than enough time to thoroughly explore each of them. 

A few minutes before noon found them standing on the subway platform, bound for Shibuya. Yosuke couldn’t keep the grin off his face, and Souji chuckled at him.

“You liked it?”

“Oh, man, those _practice_ spaces! I mean, I know we only got to poke around a couple of buildings, but… the _equipment!_ ” He was practically vibrating. “I mean… I know I still have to pass all those exams, but… I totally feel inspired now to get working on my musical submission!” 

“Have you decided on what instrument you’re going to apply for?” There was a pause as the train arrived and they hopped on with the rest of the waiting passengers; there was just enough space for them to get seats in the corner, and once they were seated, Yosuke shook his head.

“Leaning towards piano, since I’m better at that than anything other than guitar. And I don’t do classical guitar. Not that I’m not interested, I just don’t have time to learn it well before I need to record a demo.” He pulled a folded sheet out of his pocket; it was a printout of the requirements for applying to the conservatory. “Look! I can already manage most of this. I need to work on my technique, and I’ve gotta practice composition, but… that’s not bad!” 

When he looked up at Souji with stars in his eyes, his boyfriend smiled. “So that means you’re going to spend all your free time working on it, right?”

“Yep.” The brunette nodded, and while Souji’s expression of surprise hid a quick flash of loneliness, he nodded as well.

“I think that’s reasonable. We’ll always have time together once submissions are sent out, and then we’ll be moving in together, hopefully, so-”

“Huh?” Yosuke cut him off. “What are you talking about? I said _free time_ , partner. If you think that my time with you is ‘free time’ then you seriously underestimate just how much I need you, both for myself and for my motivation.” Yosuke put his head on Souji’s shoulder and linked their arms. 

The silver-haired boy flushed, smiling a little as he looked down at his ring, but he shook his head. “Yosuke, I don’t want-”

“Souj.” Yosuke poked his nose. “Don’t. You know as well as I do that I’m not gonna let this chance slip away. You need to study, too. But we’ll do as much studying together as we can, even if it means that I’m writhing under the kotatsu as I subjugate english verbs while you study your crazy law books on the couch.”

Putting his hand over his mouth, Souji burst into laughter. “Conjugate. It’s _conjugate_ , not subjugate. Although, with the way _you_ handle them…” He grinned as his boyfriend poked him in the side, rolling his eyes. “Besides, I’d be there under the kotatsu with you. Don’t banish me to the cold sofa.” 

He gave Yosuke puppy eyes, and Yosuke just smirked. “If we’re both under the kotatsu, nothing’s going to get done.”

“ _Excuse_ me.” Souji pretended to look offended. “Then _you_ need to work on your willpower.”

* * *

They were still laughing when they pulled into Shibuya station; Yosuke noticed first that they were at their stop, and he managed to grab Souji’s hand and pull him out before the doors closed. The station was a large, busy one; stepping to the side, Yosuke texted Rise that they’d arrived and would be heading to the agency to meet her while they let the first rush of pedestrians through.

Luckily, as it was a Sunday, most of the crowd was headed out to shop and eat, especially given that Shibuya was such a popular weekend destination; there was a shopping mall over the station, Mark City, that Yosuke and Souji headed into, as it was a faster route to Rise’s office that kept them out of the heat. 

They were just passing a tonkatsu restaurant - Souji had to pull Yosuke away from the display since they were cutting it close for time - when they heard voices behind them.

“Holy shit, if it isn’t Hanamura.”

Stopping, they both turned around; two guys, who looked about their age, had just come out of the restaurant. Blinking, Yosuke froze for a second, and then a smile - hesitant at first, but then larger - broke across his face. 

“Holy shit, Urata? Dude! I haven’t heard from you in… forever!” 

Despite the smile on Yosuke’s face, Souji looked the others over with a dubious eye. Urata reminded him of too many people from his old school, as well as a couple of third years from Yasogami; smug and condescending. 

_It could also be that he knows Yosuke and I don’t know him_. He at least had to be honest with himself.

“Well, well.” Urata came closer. “Don’t tell me you’re back in Tokyo and you didn’t let me know. I could use some of those sweet, sweet Junes deals, you know?” He eyed Souji, and it was clear that he hadn’t missed the fact that the two were holding hands. “Or did you find somebody new to share your spoils with?”

Yosuke laughed a little, but his boyfriend could tell from the look on his face that the conversation was dredging up old memories that might not be so perfect. “Nah, dude, I’m just here for the weekend. We came for a concert and to check out colleges.”

“I’m hurt you didn’t let me know you’d be in town. Course.” He looked at Souji. “Looks like you found somebody else to run with. Here for the honeymoon? Jeeze, Hanamura, I’m not saying I’m surprised you ended up with a dork and if you squint I guess he could make up for not being able to get a girl, but-”

“Shut up.”

Yosuke - who was bright red and had a look on his face that hurt Souji’s heart - jerked his head around to stare at his boyfriend in surprise; Souji let Yosuke’s hand go, stepping forward as he crossed his arms. He didn’t get too close to Urata, but he stood between the two so that the smart-mouthed boy no longer had a clear view of the brunette. He was taller than Urata, meaning that the bully had to look up at him; this clearly didn’t sit well with him, as he tensed up, holding his hands as if he was ready to turn it into a physical confrontation at any time. Souji, however, just kept his arms crossed; he looked cold, and angry, and the boy next to Urata stepped back, keeping his mouth shut.

“What, going to protect your precious Hana-chan? What a joke.” Urata was clearly trying to sound as insulting as possible, but Souji’s expression didn’t change.

“You’re one of those so-called friends Yosuke left behind when he moved. Well, let me tell you - since you’re clearly upset that you’ve lost such a valuable acquaintance - that as one of Yosuke’s many _many_ new friends, there’s no way we’d let Yosuke come back to waste time with assholes like you. As for Yosuke not being able to get a girlfriend-” Souji looked at Urata, then the guy beside him, and then back at the bully “-I can see how you’d come to that conclusion given the vast number of girls who _clearly_ want to spend their weekends with you, but no. Let me assure you that I have no idea why Yosuke’s with me, either, however grateful I am that he is, but he’s had more than his fair share of girlfriends, including Rise Kujikawa.” 

Yosuke spluttered a protest, but Souji just turned his head and looked at him; the guy next to Urata blinked, glancing back and forth between Souji and Yosuke, and he looked as if he’d just had an epiphany. Urata - who’d turned bright red at the comment about his lack of female company - barked a laugh.

“Risette? Are you fuckin’ kidding me?”

Urata’s friend shuffled his feet. “Uh, dude, I don’t think they’re lying, in fact-”

The bully cut his friend off. “Yeah, right. There’s no way a loser like Hanamura could get a girl like that to pay attention to him even in his dreams, much less-”

He was interrupted by a familiar, high-pitched squeal and the sound of pounding high-heels. “YOSUKE-SENPAI! OhmiGOSH you’re finally HERE!” When they all turned to look, Rise - followed by several annoyed-looking men in suits - barrelled up and threw herself at Yosuke. The brunette, looking startled, managed to catch her; she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. It was affectionate enough that had Souji not understood what she was doing - and had Urata not been bug-eyed and red-faced at the sight - the silver-haired boy might have gotten jealous; as it was, he was more than grateful to the redhead and was already thinking about what token he could buy her as thanks. 

Rise finally let go of Yosuke, then turned to Souji; there was a glint in her eye that told Souji that, yes, she knew _exactly_ what was going on and she was doing _exactly_ what he assumed. It was gone in a flash, however, and she threw her arms around him, too. “ _♪♫Souuuuuuji-senpaiiii♪♫_ I missed you soooo much!” 

Chuckling, he returned the hug. “I missed you, too, Rise.”

Behind them, Urata - who seemed to be more than a little annoyed at being ignored - swore. “Oh, what the fuck ever. I’m outta here, come on.”

He said this last line to his friend; the other boy, however, shook his head. “Nah.” He didn’t say anything else, and the bully - looking even more livid - turned on his heel and stalked off. When he was gone, the guy shifted again, then looked around. 

“Sorry, I know he’s an asshole. I was trying to tell him, though. Weren’t you two in that video with Risette?”

Surprised, Souji looked at Yosuke; the brunette thought for a moment, and then made an ‘aha’ face as a lightbulb went off in his head. “You mean that live, right? The live recording of that new single?”

“Yeah.” The guy looked embarrassed. “My little sis is a big Risette fan and she’s watched that a bunch. You guys were pretty cool.”

Rise turned to him with a smile. “Aw, you gotta tell your sister that I said hi!” She turned to one of the men in suits, who’d caught up with them and were standing off to the side. “Hey, you’ve got stickers, right? I told you we should always carry stickers. Or photos. Or _something_ , in case we run into fans.”

After some discussion and digging in pockets and portfolios, they ended up with a photo, two stickers, and a sharpie; Rise asked the guy for his sister’s name, and signed everything, waving them gently with perfectly-manicured hands so that they’d dry, before handing them over. 

“You really should find a nicer friend. I can’t believe Yosuke-senpai had to put up with somebody like that at his old school. We’re so much better for you, senpai!” She pouted at the brunette, who smiled a bit sadly and patted her shoulder. 

“I know. Anyway.” He turned to the guy. “What’s your name, dude?”

“Kirishima.” He rubbed his neck before taking the hand that Yosuke held out, shaking it. “And, yeah. I guess you’re right. You know how it is in school, though, you’ve got who’s there and you just really kinda… hang out, even if you don’t really like each other.”

Souji nodded, looking at Yosuke. “I think we all know how that is, but it’s worth holding out for somebody you do like.” They smiled at each other, and Rise grinned. 

“Nevermind them, they’re goofy for each other. Anyway! If you email Yosuke-senpai your address I’ll make sure to send out a nice big box of goodies for your sister.”

Kirishima blinked, looking at Yosuke, who smiled and nodded; the brunette started to dig through his pockets for a piece of paper, but Souji was there first, handing him a notecard from his wallet. Yosuke borrowed Rise’s sharpie, and scribbled down his email address. “Here, dude.”

Looking down at it, Kirishima nodded. “I… thanks, Hanamura.” He smiled. “Maybe it’s worth holding out for some decent friends, after all.” He slipped it into his pocket, but before Yosuke could hand the sharpie back, the other guy cleared his throat. “Actually, could I get you two to sign these stickers? My sister really loves that video, and I think she thinks you’re both kind of cute.” He looked embarrassed at this; Rise gave a happy squeal behind them, and Souji and Yosuke blinked at each other.

“Huh - _us?_ ” Souji looked surprised, and Kirishima nodded. 

“Yeah.” He held the stickers out, and - still looking a bit stunned - the two boys signed them. “Legit, though, you two were pretty badass. Are you in a band?”

Smiling at Souji, Yosuke nodded. “Kinda. We play together, and we want to do the band thing during or after uni.” He handed the stickers back to Kirishima, who put them carefully into his wallet. 

“Well, I think that’d be really cool.” Nodding, he looked at his watch. “I guess I better get back, sis’ll want to see these. I’ll email you, dude. Sorry again about Urata.” He nodded to Rise. “Thanks again, Ms. Risette.”

“Of course!” She stood on tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek; Souji and Yosuke both muffled their laughter as he stumbled off, looking completely star-struck. 

Once he was gone, she turned back to them. “Seriously, Yosuke-senpai. Your old friend is an asshole.” 

Yosuke sighed; there was a wistful look on his face, and he didn’t say anything. Souji reached for his hand, squeezing it gently. “Let’s get lunch. We’re late, I’m starving, and there’s no reason to let that ruin the rest of our day, right?”

“Right!” Rise threw her fist into the air. “Okay, so, there’s this _really great_ seafood place down and around the corner, wait until you try their Earl Grey gelato…” She pushed herself between the boys, looping her arms through theirs, and they exchanged soft smiles over her head as they walked out of the mall, followed by her guards.

* * *

They had a nice, leisurely lunch; once it was over, they spent some time shopping - Souji bought Rise a pair of charm earrings she exclaimed over, and if she didn’t say anything about why, her smile said she understood completely. Then, it was back to the station, where the boys had stowed their bags in a locker; they made it to the train just in time for the guards to load up everyone’s luggage and make sure that Rise was settled (along with the guard who was coming along for the trip to Inaba to make sure no one harassed them). 

The boys settled into the seats behind Rise and her shadow. For a time, they were all busy chatting; eventually, however, Rise turned around to handle some texts, and Yosuke took Souji’s hand. 

“Hey.” His voice was quiet. “I’m sorry about earlier. You didn’t have to, you know, and-”

“And bullshit.” Souji frowned, squeezing his boyfriend’s hand. “You think I don’t see the look on your face when you think about your old friends, or someone mentions them? I’m still pissed that _anybody_ could have you as a friend and not realize how _lucky_ they are.” He huffed. “As if I could make up for not having a girlfriend, I-”

This time, it was Yosuke who shut Souji up with a kiss; his boyfriend blinked, and turned red, and Yosuke smiled. “Don’t even worry about it. As if I ‘traded them in’ for you or something, whatever. It’s Urata’s bad luck that he doesn’t realize just how amazing a boyfriend you are. Although I’m glad, because a dick like him doesn’t deserve to know.”

The silver-haired boy turned red, rubbing his nose. “ _Anyway_. You stuck up for me with my parents, it was the least I could do. And _I_ didn’t even do most of it, that was Rise.”

“Well, Rise’s not a six-foot-something, thirtysomething-year-old detective with a permanent scowl and four-o-clock shadow, which is who I had backing _me_ up.”

“You’re right. Dad’s not half as scary.” They laughed, and smiling softly, Souji put an arm around Yosuke’s shoulders. “Just know we’ll never, _ever_ abandon you like they did.”

“I know.” Yosuke’s smile was as soft as his boyfriend’s, but before he could lean in for another kiss, they realized that Rise was hanging over the back of the seat in front of them, grinning. 

“Nooooo, go ahead! Kiss! Souji-senpai deserves it for bravely daring to defend his beloved boyfriend!”

The silver-haired boy rolled his eyes, tweaking one of her pigtails; she giggled, then slapped a hand over her mouth. “Ooooooooooh, _senpai_ , is that a _new ring?_ ” 

Next to Souji, Yosuke sighed even as he chuckled. “Man, Rise, I gotta say… it’s good to have you back, even if it’s only for the summer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I miss Shibuya, I miss Mark City, I miss Wako (the tonkatsu place), I miss Kaikaya By the Sea (the seafood restaurant.) I miss Japan.


	58. Chapter 58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 58 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, I'm going to write a lot more of this in the coming week! I've beaten my brain into submission and I'm going to focus on this for several chapters at least before I head off to my next SouYo fic (which is a fake dating fic, of course ;).
> 
> Also work is exhausting and owns my soul.

Twilight was fading to night when the train pulled up to the Yasoinaba station; Souji was unsurprised to only see Nanako and Dojima waiting for them, along with Teddie; they’d already made group plans to get together the next morning, since he and Yosuke would be arriving so late.

When Souji stepped off the train, Nanako gave a little shriek of happiness and threw herself at him.

“Big bro, big bro! Welcome back!”

Souji caught her with a smile and an _oof_ \- _it seems like she’s bigger every time I turn around_ \- and kissed her forehead; Yosuke stepped out beside him, and Teddie ran towards the brunette.

“Big bro! Big bro! Welcome back!”

Dojima put a hand against his forehead, shaking his head; Yosuke grimaced and neatly side-stepped the boy as Souji and Nanako (who was giggling) looked on. Rise, who’d just finished talking to her bodyguard turned around just in time to receive the full brunt of Teddie’s embrace; for a second she froze, as if trying to decide whether to laugh or scowl, but one glance at _where_ Teddie had decided to bury his face decided it as she smacked him.

“Omg, Ted, _where are you putting your hands?_ ”

Shrinking back with a whine and a badly-hidden grin, Teddie rubbed his forehead; everyone else burst into laughter, and Nanako tugged Souji’s arm so that he’d put her down. Running over, she stopped just short of the redhead.

“Rise-oneechan! Welcome home! Look at my new shirt, I wore it just for you!”

A smile broke across Rise’s face at this; she leaned over, throwing her arms around the little girl. “ _Nanakooooo_ -chan I missed you _so much!_ ” They hugged for a moment, and then the idol stepped back. “And you look so cute! Oh gosh, you’ve grown since I left, it’s no fair!”

“I grew six centimetres since the New Year!” Nanako beamed. “Dad says I’m outgrowing all my clothes!” She looked proud, and everyone laughed as Dojima - who’d just finished helping the bodyguard load the luggage into the back of his car, sighed. Rise grinned.

“Well, then, that just means we have to go shopping together. You and me, maybe Chie, Yukiko, and Naoto, a girls' day! What do you say?”

The little girl gasped. “Whaaaa? Can I? Can I dad, please?”

Dojima just sighed. “We’ll talk about it later, okay? Come on, you guys. It’s dark, I promised Rise’s grandmother that I’d get her home for dinner, and Nanako’s been working all afternoon to cook dinner. Your folks said they’ll be home late, Yosuke, so you and Teddie can eat with us.”

As Teddie - who’d called shotgun already - gave a celebratory fist-pump, Yosuke smiled at Souji; Rise, meanwhile, who’d climbed into the back between the boys (Nanako was on Souji’s lap) pouted.

“No fair! I wanna eat Nanako-chan’s dinner, too!”

Next to her, Nanako giggled. “It’s okay, Rise-oneechan! I’ll cook again! And I’ll help big bro make bentos for the picnic he said we could have, okay?”

Rise sniffled. “Aw, Nanako-chan, I missed you so much!”

“We missed you, too, Rise-oneechan. But you’re home, now! We’ll have lots of fun this summer!”

“I’m counting on it!” Rise held up a hand, and the little girl gave her a high five while Souji and Yosuke grinned at each other.

* * *

Nanako, it turned out, had made curry rice, with only a little help (“Dad cut the beef and veggies but I cooked them myself!”) and she knelt at the table, nervously, while she watched big bro take his first bite; nobody else was allowed to try it until he gave his opinion. Souji carefully grabbed a spoon, tested the tenderness of a piece of beef, and then scooped it up with some sauce, rice, and a piece of potato; he ate it, looking thoughtful. Eventually, Yosuke poked his side.

“Dude. You’re killing Nanako, and _I’m_ starving. How is it?”

Breaking into a grin, Souji reached over, ruffling the little girl’s hair. “It’s great. You made the roux from scratch, didn’t you?” Eyes shining with happiness, Nanako nodded, and Souji continued. “The only suggestion I have is to add a little more garlic and to brown it with the onion, instead of afterwards.”

“But it’s good?” She looked dubiously excited.

“Omg, it’s great!” Yosuke had already stuffed his mouthful as he nodded, looking ecstatic. “Man, Nanako, I gotta study and catch up with you!”

“You also need to stop talking with your mouth full.” Souji grimaced, smacking his head with the back ends of his chopsticks. “Even Ted has better manners than you do right now.”

The brunette made a face at his boyfriend as Nanako and Teddie dissolved into peals of laughter; from the couch, Dojima watched with a smile on his face.

* * *

After dinner, of course, it was time for presents. Souji - continuing what was now a family tradition - brought Nanako back a t-shirt that said TOKYO with some cute characters on it; she hugged it happily, and when Yosuke handed her the tiny bedside lamp that matched one of the characters, she looked as if she’d died and gone to heaven.

“Oh, Yosuke-nii, it’s _so cute!_ Thank you so much!” She gave him a hug, and he just smiled and patted her back.

“Of course, Nanako. Next time you should go with us!” Nanako wiggled at this idea, and Yosuke turned his attention to Ted, who was making faces beside her. “Oh, here. Stop pouting, bear.” He handed the blonde a matching lamp of a different character, and Souji handed him a t-shirt like Nanako’s, only with the same character as his lamp, and the younger boy’s face lit up.

“Sensei! Sou-kun! You’re so beary, beary kind!” Ted threw his arms around Yosuke, who pretended to be annoyed even as he patted the boy on the back, giving a half smile at Souji.

Dojima, who’d just muttered something about not understanding all the bear jokes, shook his head as he stood up. “Okay, you all. Figure out who’s going to clean up. Nanako gets a late bedtime tonight to celebrate, but once it’s time for her to go to sleep, I expect the Hanamuras to head home. I’m sure your folks missed you, Yosuke.”

While the brunette would have _liked_ to have spent the night with Souji, he knew that the detective was right, so he just nodded. “Of course, sir. Thanks for letting Souji go on the trip with me.”

“Just as long as you boys had fun and behaved yourselves. Now, I’m going to head upstairs to get some work done. Welcome home, Souji.” He patted his son on the shoulder before grabbing a beer and heading upstairs.

* * *

Not wanting to risk letting Teddie break half of the Dojimas’ dishes, Souji and Yosuke took dishes duty while Nanako and Teddie pulled out her dolls and started to play house. Souji was just scrubbing the curry pot when next to him, Yosuke sighed.

“Sucks. I don’t want to go home.”

“I know what you mean.” Souji leaned over - hands still buried in the suds - and nudged the brunette’s shoulder with his own. “Dad’s right, though - I’m sure your folks missed you.”

“Yeah, I know, but it’s just gonna suck going from two days where we practically lived on our own back to grabbing sleepovers when we can. _Man_ , I can’t wait until we move in together, you know?”

“Yeah.” Souji’s voice was quiet, and he gave his boyfriend a small smile. “Though, it’s going to be a lot of work to get there.”

“So? If it means I get to live in an apartment with you, no matter how shitty, I will study my _ass_ off. Bring your worst English translations, I dare you!” He clenched his fist with a look of exaggerated fierceness, and Souji couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh, Yosuke. While I hope it’s not _too_ shitty an apartment, I absolutely agree.” Leaning over, he kissed his boyfriend on the cheek before murmuring, "And I hope you don't _completely_ study your ass off. I'd miss it." Yosuke turned pink, slugging Souji's shoulder as he tried not to look too embarrassed (but pleased).

* * *

Once the dishes were done, Souji nodded to the stairs. “I know you’re going to have to go soon, and I know we’re going to want to spend a little time with Nanako before bed, but let’s head up for a few minutes?”

“Sure.” Still looking a bit pink, Yosuke took the stairs, two-by-two, as his boyfriend followed; once they got inside, Souji side-stepped the brunette’s immediate embrace with a smirk.

“Not that I don’t want that, too.” He poked Yosuke’s nose as his boyfriend looked at him with a sulk. “But first, I’ve got something for you.”

At this, Yosuke blinked. “For me?”

“Mhm.” Reaching into his bag, Souji brought out the two plastic bags he’d bought the morning after the concert. “Here. You did so much for me on this trip, I just wanted to say thank you.”

Not even bothering to hide his curiosity, Yosuke peered into the first one; after a moment, however, his look of eagerness turned to one of puzzlement, and Souji found his stomach filling with nervousness. _Was I wrong? Maybe he didn’t like the band, maybe-_

Before he could completely give into the anxiety, Yosuke put his hand into the bag, pulling out a book. “Music law? Uh, Souj, I love you, but…”

 _Oh. Oh! Crap!_ “Oh, oops, sorry, I forgot I grabbed that, too.” He reached over and snagged the book out of the brunette’s hand. “Yeah, that one’s mine. Keep looking.”

Giving a half-smile, Yosuke shook his head as he looked back into the bag. When he did, his eyes widened and he looked back up at the silver-haired boy; this time, the expression was everything Souji had been hoping for, and the taller boy grinned.

“Keep going.”

Looking stunned, Yosuke opened the other bag; the expression only grew more disbelieving as he pulled out two CDs, one from the opening band, the other the soundtrack he’d been trying to pretend he wasn’t interested in. Looking back and forth between them, and then up at his boyfriend, he blinked.

“Souji, wha-?”

“Just my thanks for such a wonderful time.” Souji leaned over to kiss Yosuke’s temple. There was no need to bring money or his suspicions over the trip’s price into it; it was simply a token of his appreciation and his love for his boyfriend.

Not that Yosuke didn’t suspect, of course. Holding the CDs in one hand, he threw his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. “Dammit, Souj, you’re too much. Thank you!”

“Of course. Only the best for my boyf- _mmf!_ ”

The rest of Souji’s words were swallowed as Yosuke kissed him, pulling him backwards towards the couch; there were a few minutes where neither of them had anything to say (nor wanted to) before finally, the brunette pulled back.

“Best. Boyfriend. Ever.” Grinning, he leaned over to rest his forehead against Souji’s, then sighed. “Ahh, man. I don’t want to go home.”

“I know.” Souji leaned up and kissed him again. “But we’ll see each other in the morning, yeah? And we’ll definitely need to start making time to study, even with all the plans we have this summer.”

“Yeah.” Yosuke chuckled. “Only time I think I’ve ever looked forward to studying, even if you _do_ make sure we actually, you know, _study_.” Sitting back, he poked his boyfriend’s shoulder. “So. Music law, eh?”

“Yeah.” Nodding, Souji looked thoughtful. “Talking to Rise just got me thinking that really, it’s perfect, you know? If I start reading up on it now I might be able to help her a little bit when the time comes for her to renegotiate her own contract - especially knowing how awful the business can be for idols - and it can only help _us_ if I make it my focus. And even if I end up working in law for a bit while we try to get our music off the ground, well… I’ll still be in the business.”

Yosuke smiled, a bit ruefully. “Trust my partner to already have everything figured out.” Sighing, he leaned back, resting against Souji’s shoulder as his boyfriend put an arm around him. “I should probably start thinking about what I _really_ want out of music, too.”

“Take your time.” Souji smiled softly, resting his head against the brunette’s. “Obviously I believe it’s good to think about, but I also don’t think you should force it. Take your time, because it’s worth figuring out what you _really_ want instead of just going for what seems to be the ‘best bet’, yeah?”

“Yeah. Man, what would I do without your words of wisdom?” Yosuke laughed quietly as he leaned in; just then, there was a tap at the door.

“Big bro! Yosuke-nii! We’re gonna play Uno, wanna join us?”

They looked at each other for a moment, and Yosuke leaned in, giving Souji a hurried, breathless kiss before grinning at his speechless boyfriend.

“Sure thing, Nanako. We’re on our way down, go ahead and deal.” Holding out a hand, he smiled at Souji. “Come on, partner.”


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 59 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know I've been slow adding to this story; here's a little [update](http://ohlookashinysquirrel.tumblr.com/post/150937630097/writing-update) on what's going on for me, but the tl;dr is that I'm not stopping this story or writing fics in general, I've just been distracted, but I'm working to minimise that fact.

“Big bro! Big bro! It’s time to get up!”

Souji blinked, fuzzily, at Nanako, who was kneeling next to his futon. She was already dressed for the day, and there was a blinding smile of excitement plastered across her face; Souji rubbed his eyes, noting that there really wasn’t _that_ much light coming in through the window yet, so he started to feel around under his pillow for his phone. Pulling it out, he blinked, owlishly, at the time.

6:00 am.

_That can’t be right_. He turned his phone around, thinking that maybe he had it upside down.

_...No, it’s not 00:9 am._

“Nanako. It’s six in the morning.”

Her expression faltered. “Yeah, but... everybody’s coming over at ten, and I promised Rise-oneechan we’d have the bentos waiting, and... I didn’t want... to forget anything, and...”

As her face fell, Souji’s softened and he opened his arms. “C’mere, Nanako, it’s fine.” He yawned as she burrowed in for a hug. “Tell you what, let me get another hour’s sleep, and then we’ll absolutely start working. We can even eat breakfast as we cook, since we’ll be making tamagoyaki and rice, and miso doesn’t take any time.”

“Okay, big bro. I’m really sorry!” Just then, she yawned, too, and he chuckled as he flipped his phone open, setting an alarm for an hour later.

“Nothing to be sorry about. How about you take a nap with me?”

She was already looking sleepy; rubbing her eyes, she nodded. “Okay, big bro.”

* * *

When the alarm went off, Nanako was - of course - the first to be up and ready; Souji still _really_ didn’t want to get up, but he also didn’t want to disappoint Nanako, so he asked her to make coffee while he grabbed a shower.

The cold water helped him wake up enough that he was bleary, but functioning; slipping into a t-shirt and shorts, he headed downstairs to find that his sister had made him a cup of coffee just the way he liked it. Smiling, he downed half the cup before ruffling her hair and starting to rummage through the fridge.

“All right. Let’s go ahead and wash the rice and set it aside to dry before steaming the veggies, and... hmm. Onigiri, gomaae, chicken karaage, steamed carrots... what else? Potato salad?” Souji looked up at Nanako, who brightened at the idea.

“Yeah! With lots of cucumbers, I bought some yesterday!”

The silver-haired boy smiled. “Perfect. Anything else?” When she started to worry at her lower lip, he chuckled. “Go ahead.”

“Can we also have hotdog octopuses?”

“Of course.” Smiling, he grabbed the packet of sausages, as well as the onions and cucumbers, and stood up. “In fact, I’ll let you make those. Sound good?”

“Yay!” She clapped, helping him carry everything over to the table; setting her to wash the rice, he started to fill the steamer with carrots and spinach.

* * *

They’d all agreed to meet at ten, which meant that Yosuke headed for the Dojimas’ at nine to see if he could help. He half expected Rise to already be there, although he hoped - just a little - that he was the first; as much as he loved the others and as glad as he was that Rise was in town, he relished his time alone with Souji (and with Nanako, as they pretty much came as a package deal.)

There was a space of a minute or two after he rang the doorbell that told him that Rise must not be there yet; she would have already answered the door with some sort of teasing joke about how early he was (or how she’d beaten him there) if she had been. Finally, the door opened and he had to blink; it was Souji, with a warm, welcoming smile on his face, and a... rainbow-patterned apron?

Before they could even exchange greetings, Yosuke slapped a hand over his mouth to stifle a snicker.

“Partner, what are you _wearing?_ ”

“Oh.” Souji’s face turned red as he looked down. “Uh, shit. I forgot about this... I was making tamagoyaki earlier while also trying to keep the karaage from burning when I hit the frying pan with my elbow and knocked it off the stove.”

The brunette turned pale at this, grabbing his boyfriend’s arms. “Are you okay? Did you burn yourself?”

“Haha, I’m fine.” Souji smiled, stepping back and pulling Yosuke inside before leaning over to kiss him. “Some oil did splash my leg, but we’ve already cleaned it up and put aloe on it and it should be fine, it wasn’t terrible; the mess on the floor was worse, so be careful in the kitchen - I’m afraid the floor is still a bit slick. My apron took the main brunt of the oil, though, so Nanako made me borrow one of her spares. I’m just sorry there won’t be any chicken in the bentos today.”

Yosuke returned the kiss, although his face was still clouded. “Who gives a damn about chicken, you’d just better not be hiding it if it _is_ bad. I know you don’t want to worry me, Souj.”

“I’m not hiding anything, I promise.” Souji smiled as Nanako popped her head around from the kitchen.

“Yosuke-nii! Hi! I’m making hotdog octopuses!”

“Hey Nanako.” Yosuke gave Souji another worried smile before squeezing his hand and slipping out of his shoes. “Big bro didn’t get hurt too badly earlier, did he?”

“Yosuke...” Souji sighed as Nanako shook her head.

“Nope! It was just a little red and I put the bandage on myself! Don’t worry, Yosuke-nii.”

Souji put a firm-but-gentle hand on Yosuke’s back, pushing him towards the kitchen table. “See? I’m not lying. Sit down and I’ll get you some coffee. Did you eat breakfast?”

“Yeah, I had some cereal with Ted. He’s pulling some early hours at Junes this morning doing mascot work for a sales event, but he should be ready to meet us down by the river at noon.”

Setting a cup of coffee - made just the way his boyfriend liked it - in front of the brunette, Souji smiled as he went back to chopping cucumbers. “Is it just me or is he getting to be a lot more responsible, ever since we-” A pause as he looked over at Nanako, who had her tongue stuck out in concentration as she carefully cut a piece of kamaboko into eyes and mouths for her octopi. “Well, since we dealt with everything.”

Yosuke knew what he meant by ‘everything’, and nodded. “Yeah. He really is. I mean he’s still an idiot - you saw him with Rise at the station the other day - and he still likes to clown around, but I don’t have to worry so much about him getting into actual _trouble_ when I’m not around. Like, he actually helped me dye my hair the other day without making any fuss about doing his own. And he hasn’t gorged himself sick on topsicles once all summer, although I still don’t know how he eats _so many_.”

Souji chuckled quietly. “Yeah, he’s a bottomless pit, but we already knew that.”

Beside him, Nanako giggled. “Haha, Teddie loves topsicles as much as Chie-oneechan loves steak! Bottomless pit, haha!”

The brunette snickered. “That’s a good one, Nanako.” He grinned at her as she giggled, and then nodded at Souji. “He doesn’t get so lonely when I’m not around, either - I mean, he’s still annoying and follows me everywhere and I still have to give him the slip half the time when we go out on dates, but I don’t worry about leaving him at home any more; he’ll just play video games or watch DVDs or something. At this rate I won’t have to worry about leaving him once I go off for uni.”  


With a nod, Souji wiped his hands, having just finished mixing up the potato salad. Walking over to the table, he dropped a big bowl of rice down in front of the brunette. “All right, onigiri time.” He followed it up with some smaller bowls - umeboshi, chopped beef, salmon, and some furikake. “Time to make yourself useful, partner.”

“Okay, just as long as you handle the salmon. You know I’m iffy about fish.” He eyed the bowl, suspiciously, and Souji chuckled before flicking his wrist as he tried to eat a plum.

“Yeah, of course. Just don’t eat all the umeboshi, at least save them for lunch.”

Nanako pulled up a chair to join them; they were about halfway through when Souji looked up at Yosuke, who was concentrating on wrapping an onigiri without tearing the nori. “You know... next time you want to dye your hair I don’t mind helping.”

Yosuke looked up, surprised. “Nah, partner, you know you don’t have-” He paused, before realizing that Souji was looking a little _hopeful_. “Well, you know. It’ll be a couple of months, but I’ll let you know. It’s probably safer than if Ted does it, anyway.”

“Yeah.” Souji smiled. “Anyway. After this we just need to put everything together, and then we’ll be-”

The just then, the doorbell rang, interrupting their dialogue.

“I’ll get it!” Nanako dropped a finished onigiri onto the plate and ran for the door; when it opened, they heard Rise’s voice.

“Naaaanako-chaaan, you’re so cute in your apron! I came to help out, okay?”

“Yay, Rise-oneechan, come in! We’re about to start putting the bentos together!”

“Perfect timing!” The redhead walked into the kitchen, sniffing. “Souuuuji-senpai, it smells _soooo_ good, and-” A pause before she burst into peals of laughter. “-what are you wearing? Omigosh it’s so cute, I have to get a picture!”

Face red, Souji hurriedly jerked the apron off before the redhead could get any evidence; as she pouted, he sighed and chuckled.

“Good morning, Rise.”

Across the table, Yosuke snickered.

* * *

“Souji-kun, your lunches are always so amazing. I feel so jealous!” Yukiko held up a piece of tamagoyaki with her chopsticks.

The whole group had gathered by the river, and now that Ted was with them - he’d been a little late after having gotten held up at Junes - they were all digging into their meals. Sitting between Rise and Yukiko, Nanako nodded.

“Big bro is the best! I always said so!”

“Yes, you did!” Rise giggled. “But you helped too, didn’t you, Nanako-chan?”

“Yep! I, uhhh... I cut the tamagoyaki and washed the rice and peeled the potatoes and I made the hotdog octopuses all by myself!”

“Oh, wow, Nanako-chan!” Chie held one up. “It’s so cute! You’ll have to teach me how, okay?”

“Okay, Chie-oneechan!” As Nanako glowed, Kanji - sitting across from Chie and between Naoto and Souji - snickered.

“Gonna start makin’ bentos for Yukiko-senpai?”

Chie turned red at this. “That’s- none of your business!” Next to her, Yukiko giggled, and Kanji just grinned.

“Nothin’ wrong with cute things, yanno?”

The bubbly brunette still looked embarrassed. “Yeah, well... when are you gonna start making bentos for Naoto?”

At this, both Kanji and Naoto turned bright red, and Souji and Yosuke caught each other’s eyes; for once, they were glad not to be the centre of attention. With a smirk, Yosuke - who’d been lying on his stomach while shovelling potato salad into his mouth - put his chopsticks aside and rolled over, resting against Souji’s knee.

Kanji just looked away, rubbing his neck. “Dunno what the hell you’re talkin’ about, senpai.” Looking at Naoto, he mumbled, “Sorry ‘bout that.”

Naoto just shook her head, busying herself herself with her lunchbox. “This potato salad is quite tasty, Souji-senpai. Would you mind sharing the recipe with me?”

“Of course not, Naoto. I’ll email it to you.”

“Thank you.”

After they finished eating, Souji, Naoto, and Yukiko started to tidy up while Rise, Yosuke, and Chie took Nanako down to the water to watch for fish; Teddie had badgered Kanji into teaching him to make flower crowns because he wanted to make ‘one for _allll_ the ladies, especially Nanako-chan,’ so they were combing the overgrown areas for flowers.

When they were done cleaning, Yukiko went down to join the others at the river; Yosuke came back after she did, rubbing his arms.

“Man, fish eyes give me the creeps. Let the others fool around down there.” He flopped down on the blanket; next to him, Souji yawned, and the brunette raised an eyebrow. “You look pretty tired, partner.”

His boyfriend gave a small chuckle as Teddie bounced past them, heading for the picnic table nearby with his arms full of flowers; Naoto nodded to the boys and wandered off, and Souji stretched, laying back on the blanket next to the brunette.

“Yeah, Nanako got me up at six, although she let me nap until seven.”

“Ouch.” Yosuke winced, sympathetically. “And we were up late last night playing that new game.”

“Yeah.” Souji yawned. “It’s okay, I knew it would be an early morning.”

“Still.” Yosuke grabbed the second blanket they’d brought, just in case, folding it behind his back to prop himself up. With a smile on his face, he tugged at the silver-haired boy. “C’mere.”

Souji lay back against his chest and the brunette wrapped his arms around his boyfriend; as they got comfortable, they saw Naoto wander up to Kanji - who was picking flowers - far enough away that they could only barely hear the two.

“Uh, Kanji-kun... do you, uh, mind if I ask you something?”

Face red, Kanji looked up from the clumps of wild lavender that grew along the riverbank. “Eh? Course.” He wiped his hands on his pants, scrambling to his feet. “Sorry about Chie-senpai earlier, I-”

“No, it’s- it’s fine.” Naoto was red-faced, too.

Over on the picnic blanket, Souji turned, looking up at Yosuke with raised eyebrows, and Yosuke put a finger to his lips as they turned back. The detective looked just as embarrassed as Kanji, and Yosuke linked his fingers through Souji’s as they watched her struggle for words.

“Don’t- don’t worry about what senpai said, but I- was wondering, if I get that recipe from Souji-kun, er... would you mind trying it once I make it, to tell me if it’s okay?”

Kanji blinked down at her. “Uh. Wouldn’t Souji-senpai be a better person to ask? I mean-”

“ _Oh for crying out loud, Kanji!_ ” Yosuke grit his teeth as Souji reached up to put a hand over his boyfriend’s mouth as he muffled his own snicker; just then, Kanji’s eyes widened and he turned bright red as Naoto’s face fell.

“Oh! _Oh_ , uh, yeah, uh, I mean, _shit_ , sorry, I mean yeah, I’d like that, uhhh, I mean if you want I could bring a lunch and we could share, and-”

Naoto, who’d been looking discouraged, brightened up even as she turned a brighter shade of red, to match Kanji’s. “Um, yes, I think that- would be nice. Alright, um, I’ll let you... finish whatever you’re doing, thank you very much.”

Before Kanji could respond she turned around and practically ran down the riverbank, towards the other girls; the blonde watched her go, a stunned expression - and a small smile - on his face, and in the shade, Souji looked up at Yosuke, smiling.

Yosuke returned the grin with a wink before squeezing the silver-haired boy’s hand. Leaning over, he chuckled, murmuring in Souji’s ear before kissing him.

“About damn time.”

Souji, curling his fingers around the back of Yosuke’s neck to tug him closer, just smirked against his boyfriend’s lips as he nodded, closing his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **tamagoyaki** \- sweet rolled eggs  
>  **miso** \- soy paste, red or white  
>  **onigiri** \- rice balls, usually formed into triangles with fillings pressed into the back, seaweed wrapped around them, and/or furikake (seasoning that often consists of salt, fish flakes, sesame seeds, flaked seaweed, and other items)  
>  **gomaae** \- steamed spinach with sweetened soy sauce and sesame seeds  
>  **karaage** \- fried in oil, frequently chicken, but often fish or tofu (or other foods)  
>  **kamaboko** \- processed fish cakes, with a smooth texture, often white and pink  
>  **nori** \- one of many words for seaweed; used for wrapping onigiri (in strips or complete sheets)  
>  **umeboshi** \- pickled plum  
> 


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 60 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Festival fun~
> 
> (I know I make excuses every time I put out a chapter, and I'm not going to this time. I intend to write more in the next few days, we'll see what happens.)

“They both look good on you, Hanamura-kun. Which do you prefer?”

“Uh. Partner?” Yosuke’s eyes flickered to Souji, who was standing next to Mrs. Tatsumi with a finger on his chin as he examined the brunette; he saw his boyfriend’s gaze linger a little on the saffron fabric - no surprise, remembering how much he’d said he liked Yosuke in yellow - but he then looked at the blue and shook his head.

“They really do both look good on him. And it depends on what style of outfit we go with, as well.” As the seamstress nodded, Souji looked over at Yosuke. “Did you prefer the yukata or the jinbei?”

“Jinbei.” Yosuke’s response was automatic; it wasn’t that he disliked yukata, it was just that he felt awkward in them, like he didn’t know how to hold himself or where to put his hands. Souji wore them so effortlessly, but Yosuke knew he was a long way from the silver-haired boy’s level, if he ever even got there.

At this, Souji nodded. “The blue, then. It would be too busy and garish for a yukata.”

The brunette found himself feeling a little disappointed at this; knowing how Souji liked yellow, he’d actually kind of wanted to go for the saffron fabric - but he also trusted his boyfriend’s eye more than his own, and with the way Mrs. Tatsumi was nodding, it seemed like she agreed.

“I’ll have it done in a day or two, and I’ll have Kanji bring it to you. Now, are you sure you don’t want something for yourself? We’ve got some lovely fabrics that would look wonderful, especially with your hair and eyes.”

Smiling a little, Souji shook his head. “Oh, no. I already have too many outfits as it is, so…”

“But, that dark teal would really look good on you, partner.” Yosuke sidled up beside him. “And you know you grew a few inches; aren’t the ones you have already too short?”

“Indeed, Seta-kun.” Mrs. Tatsumi smiled, and Souji found himself slowly fingering the fabric in front of him. It _was_ nice - nicer than the blacks and greys which dominated the outfits he’d kept for himself, with its rich teal and muted cloud pattern - and Kanji’s mother nodded. “I’d be more than happy to make another trade with you, you know.”

Glancing sideways to see the glint in his boyfriend’s eye, Souji finally sighed, smiling. “All right, all right. Yes, ma’am. I do like this fabric, and I think that grey-and-white ginkgo pattern would make a good obi, and perhaps trim?”

“You’ve got a good eye, Seta-kun. ” Mrs. Tatsumi smiled, taking up the fabrics, as well as the blue one they’d picked out for Yosuke. “Now, let’s get your sizing…”

* * *

When they left the store to head home - Dojima was going to be home that night and Souji wanted to go home to cook dinner - the silver-haired boy noticed that Yosuke was being very quiet. Standing at the corner, waiting to cross the street, he rubbed his boyfriend’s arm briefly.

“What’s on your mind?”

A bit startled, Yosuke jerked his head up, telling Souji that he _had_ been lost in thought. After a second, however, he just smiled, shaking his head. “Thinking about the festival. It’s gonna be fun. Remember last year?”

With a low chuckle, Souji started across the street. “I do. Nanako desperately wanted to go, but dad was busy, so I said I’d take her. And then she made me dress up… and then we ran into you guys. I thought then that it was the last thing I’d wanted to deal with but… I think secretly I was kind of happy to see you, even if it only showed in how anxious I was.”

Yosuke laughed at this, grabbing Souji’s hand. “Anxious? I guess I can see that. You didn’t smile once, not even when Nanako was out there winning everybody’s hearts.” Souji’s laugh joined his, and the brunette looked sideways. “Did you wish for anything at the shrine that day?”

Souji shook his head. “I didn’t have anything to wish for - or, at least, I didn’t know that I did. Nanako made a wish to spend more time with dad, but that was the extent of it.”

“I did.” Yosuke’s voice had grown a little quieter, and he smiled down at their linked hands. Next to him, his boyfriend raised an eyebrow.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I made a wish to get to know you better.”

The silver-haired boy blushed a little at this, and Yosuke chuckled, tugging him along the street to the Dojima home; walking along behind the brunette, Souji gave a soft sigh, still smiling gently.

“I guess we’ll have to go to the shrine to say thank-you, then.”

“Yeah, about that-” They turned in at the little side street off which Souji’s house was located. “The festival runs for two days. We’re all going as a group the first day, but… do you wanna hit it up again the second day? Just us. I mean… there’s a chance we’ll run into the others there, but I think that everybody would be glad to spend the time doing their own thing, or at least, their own couple-things.”

Pulling out his keys - after the events of the year before Dojima insisted that the front door stay locked, even (especially) when Nanako or Souji were home alone - Souji nodded at Yosuke. “I’d really like that. You know I’ll never say no to time alone with you; there’s been less of that since Rise came back into town and while I won’t begrudge her anything, I do like having the chance to hang out together, just the two of us.”

“Great.” Yosuke grinned. “So, what’s for dinner?”

“Dad asked for soba.”

“The second meal you ever cooked for me was soba, do you remember? Nanako was psyched because you used her green onions in it.”

“Yeah.” Souji smiled softly. “It was the first time I played the violin for you, too. And we’ll be using more green onions from the garden this time around.”

Just as he opened the door, Nanako came running to meet them. “Big bro! Yosuke-nii! Welcome home!” She gave both of them a hug, and Yosuke grinned.

“Hey, Nanako. We were just talking about eating soba last year, and how awesome your flowers looked as a centerpiece.”

“I remember!” She looked excited. “Big bro, can I put flowers on the table again?”

“Of course.” He ruffled her hair and her face lit up; turning, she ran into the kitchen and grabbed a pair of scissors and a little basket, and then started to walk - quickly, if carefully - towards the patio door. “Get some green onions while you’re out there?”

“Okay!” She had already disappeared outside, and Souji smiled softly, then turned to his boyfriend.

“If you’re staying, you get to work for your dinner. Grate this.” He shoved a large daikon at Yosuke, who took it with a quiet chuckle.

“All right, all right. What a slave-driver.”

At this, the silver-haired boy’s eyebrow rose, and he had to hide the twitching of his lips. “Would you rather I have you make the soba?”

Yosuke, who’d already grabbed the grater and a plate, sidled over to the counter. “Nope. I’d rather watch _you_ make the soba.”

Chuckling, Souji bumped the bag of buckwheat flour gently against the side of his head. “You just want to ogle my hands.”

The brunette gave a self-satisfied smirk. “Guilty as charged.”

* * *

Their new outfits were ready by the end of the week, which left another week until the festival; for the most part, they spent it hanging out as a group - either at Junes, at the Dojimas’, or down on the floodplain - although there were days that Chie, Yukiko, and Kanji couldn’t make it due to work. One afternoon, Yosuke was absent - saying he had to help his family with a bunch of errands - but overall, Rise’s month with the group passed lazily and comfortably.

For the festival, they’d all agreed to meet up at the shrine gates; to Nanako’s delight, everyone had said they were going to dress up (even Teddie had a jinbei from Junes), and the little girl couldn’t stop talking about much she liked Souji’s new yukata as they headed for the shrine.

When they got there, only Yosuke and Teddie were missing; the girls, of course, were wearing yukata, but Souji was shocked to see that this time, _so was Naoto_. She looked shy, and a little uncomfortable, but he smiled.

“You look really nice, Naoto.”

“Don’t she, though?” Kanji was standing next to her - wearing a jinbei himself - and he looked pleased, if embarrassed. Naoto flushed again, and at that moment, Nanako cheered.

“It’s Yosuke-nii and Teddie! Ahh! You look so cool!”

Indeed, Souji had to smile when Yosuke walked up; the aqua colour looked good against his tan skin, and as much as he would have liked to see him in a saffron yukata, jinbei really looked good on the brunette. Mostly, he was just glad to be there together. “It looks really good, Yosuke.”

Yosuke, who’d been staring at Souji and thinking about how _good_ his shorter haircut looked with the teal of the yukata, blinked and smiled. “Glad you think so, since you helped me pick it out.” With a practiced flourish, he held out his arm. “Shall we?”

Souji turned a little pink at this, but at his side, Nanako giggled. “Go for it, big bro!” She pushed him over, and he slid his arm through his boyfriend’s, and this must have been a sign for the others because then Chie was putting her arm around Yukiko’s waist, and somehow _Kanji_ was offering his arm to Naoto, and they were both bright red, and then Nanako bounced over to Rise.

“I’m gonna go with Rise-chan, and Teddie!”

Rise just giggled at this. “You’re so cute, Nanako-chan, of course!”

Teddie, however, gasped and put his hand up to his chest. “Nana-chan! I’m honoured! I’ll be the best date ever, I promise.” He whistled a short tune. “Teddie gets not one, but _two_ pretty ladies!”

At this, Rise narrowed her eyes. “If you don’t behave yourself, bear…”

“I will, I will!” He waved his hands, and between them, Nanako giggled.

“It’s okay, Rise-chan! I’ll protect you.”

“Aw, Nanako-chan, you’re the best!”

* * *

They wandered around, eating festival foods and playing games and once it was time for the fireworks they all found an out-of-the-way spot to watch (Kanji, being the tallest, put Nanako on his shoulders so that she could see). Souji wrapped his arms around Yosuke, who put his head against his boyfriend’s shoulder; about halfway through the display, the brunette turned a little.

“Hey. About tomorrow. Would it be okay for you to wear this yukata again? It looks really good.”

Souji smiled at this, turning to nuzzle the side of Yosuke’s head. He still had the super-short haircut, and the silver-haired boy still loved it. “Yeah. I didn’t get anything on it today that would be gross, so I can wear it again. You like it that much, then?”

“I do.” He closed his eyes as Souji nuzzled him, then put a hand up to run his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. “Spend the night tonight?”

Souji gave a shy smile. “I’ll have to ask dad, but… yeah.”

* * *

The next morning, Souji had to go home until lunch to help Nanako take care of some of the chores; this time, he was going to meet Yosuke at his house and they’d go to the shrine together. He did a little spot cleaning of his yukata - he hadn’t spilled anything, but he wanted to look as good as he could - and aired it out in the sun; after lunch, he put it on and, after making sure Nanako was good for the afternoon, headed out.

At the Hanamuras’, Ted opened the door when Souji knocked.

“Souuuu-kuuun! You’re gonna go to the festival again, aren’t you? I wanna gooo!”

Souji just laughed, but as he did, he heard Yosuke’s voice off to his left, as the brunette came down the stairs. “We _talked_ about this, Ted. All you’d wanna do is eat more food and you can do that at Junes, for cheaper.”

“You just wanna get Sou-kun alone, sensei! I know how it is!”

The silver-haired boy gave a placating smile. “Ted, I promise we’ll all do something together soon, and-” As he was talking, Souji turned his head only to see Yosuke standing on the stairs wearing a saffron-yellow yukata; the obi was even made of the same grey ginkgo-patterned fabric as Souji’s. He stopped short, in the middle of his sentence; the brunette looked _amazing_ , and Souji couldn’t help staring.

Ted snickered. “Sou-kun’s in looo~oove!”

“Not like I’ve been trying to hide it,” Souji muttered. “Yosuke, what- I thought we were only going with the jinbei, when did you-?”

“Ted, did you finish cleaning the back porch like dad asked?” The blonde boy whined, before sticking his tongue out and running off; once he was gone, the brunette finished his walk down the stairs, rubbing his neck when he ended up at Souji’s side. “I, uh- well, I remembered how much you liked yellow, and I thought it might be nice to end up more formal on our date, and… well, I talked to Mrs. Tatsumi and she gave me a deal on it since I helped out around the shop doing some cleaning and maintenance for a day.”

A lightbulb went off in Souji’s mind. “Aha! That day you couldn’t hang out because you had ‘family’ things to do?”

“Yeah.” He was red-faced by this point. “So, uh, it looks-”

“-amazing.” Souji put an arm around the brunette’s waist, pulling him close as he leaned over. “God, that colour looks so good on you. It makes me want to-” Here, he put his lips to Yosuke’s ear, murmuring something; the brunette turned even more red at this, laughing as he shoved his boyfriend lightly.

“You dork. We’ve got a festival to get to, you know?”

“You don’t want to?” Souji pouted, and Yosuke just poked him.

“As if I ever said that. But we gotta go make wishes, you know. After what happened last year I’m not gonna risk missing out on it! Plus, I didn’t get any shaved ice yesterday.”

“Want to share some? Half melon, half orange?” Smiling, Souji let go of his boyfriend, and they headed out of the house - although Souji kept an arm lightly around Yosuke’s shoulders.

“Sounds perfect, partner.” Tucking his keys into the minuscule kinchaku Mrs. Tatsumi had made with scraps of the grey fabric, Yosuke smiled, slipping his arm through Souji’s. “Shall we?”

“We shall.” Souji pulled him close, and they started off for the shrine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **yukata** \- unlined kimono-like garments, usually for summer wear  
>  **jinbei** \- summer wear consisting of a baggy top, tied at the side, and short, wide pants, usually worn by men  
>  **soba** \- buckwheat noodles, often eaten cold in the summer  
>  **daikon** \- a large, white, mild radish  
>  **kinchaku** \- a small cloth bag with a drawstring used to carry personal items when wearing traditional clothes


	61. Chapter 61

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 61 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know why I put innuendo warnings on these chapters any more, haha. Oh well. More festival fun, gotta love summer!

“That’ll be 200 yen.”

Souji handed over the silver coins, taking the half-green, half-orange cup of shaved ice and bowing in thanks to the stallkeeper. Smiling, he handed it to Yosuke, who was standing beside him; the brunette was still red-faced (they’d been stopped by the ladies running the mugicha stall to tell them just how handsome they were, complimenting Yosuke’s yukata, and he was still embarrassed) but he smiled at Souji and took the ice, and then Souji took his other hand, and they headed for one of the small tables set up in a small clearing just off the path. The brunette sat down first; Souji pondered the table, and then sat next to him, and the grin that Yosuke gave him when he did made him happy.

“There are a lot less people around today.” Yosuke was sucking the orange syrup off his spoon as he looked around. “Guess everybody came yesterday.”

“Mmm. A lot _fewer_.” Yosuke sighed at him, and rolled his eyes, but then smiled, and Souji chuckled. “But yeah, I guess everybody got their fun in yesterday. There’s still stuff to do, though. And.” He touched Yosuke’s arm briefly before nodding behind him; Yosuke turned to see Kanji and Naoto - both in normal clothes, this time - walking along the path over nearest the shrine. They didn’t see the boys - which was fine with Souji - and they were just talking (and, of course, Kanji was beet-red), but Yosuke just turned back and grinned at Souji. 

“Well, well.” 

“Yeah.” Souji took another bite of his melon ice. “How’s the orange?”

“Great.” Smiling, Yosuke held his spoon out with a bite on it, and Souji blinked. Turning red, he glanced around for a second before leaning forward to eat it; Yosuke’s smile just got bigger at this. “So?”

“Yeah, it’s good.” Of course, the silver-haired boy’s voice was a little rough after he’d finished eating the ice, and his face was still red, but it _was_ good, and after a moment he got up the courage to offer Yosuke a spoonful of his melon. Which, of course, the brunette ate with gusto.

He was just smirking at Souji when they both heard a voice heading for their table.

“Oooooh, look at the love-birds!” 

Souji - who had already been red - blushed even harder; Yosuke just sighed as he turned his head.

“Chie, don’t you have something better to do? Like, I don’t know, _go spend time with your girlfriend?_ ”

When Souji looked over, he saw that Chie and Yukiko were standing on the walkway, grinning at them, arm-in-arm; the girls were wearing their yukata again, and Yukiko was holding a balloon yo-yo and her arm was through Chie’s, and the taller boy smiled. 

“You two look like you’re having fun.”

Yukiko smiled back at him. “So do you, Souji-kun. And we’re just passing by, I think we’re going to go get some yakisoba. You guys enjoy the rest of the festival, okay?”

Souji nodded, giving a little wave as Yukiko started to drag Chie off, and Chie was making a face in his general direction, and he looked over to see that Yosuke was also making a face at Chie and he just chuckled quietly.

“Nobody would ever believe that you two used to date, you know.”

Raising an eyebrow, Yosuke reached over to grab another spoonful of ice. “I guess. It was more of a friends-checking-out-the-boundaries thing, anyway, I guess. And I prefer it like this, of course.” He smiled at his boyfriend, who returned the smile.

“You have an orange tongue.”

“You’re one to talk. Yours is _green_.” 

“Oh.” Souji turned pink, looking at the ice, as if to debate whether or not he should eat any more; next to him, the brunette laughed.

“It’s a _festival_ , Souj. Eat your ice. Nobody is going to care!”

“Yeah.” Souji leaned over and took a bite - it was starting to melt, after all - but as he pulled back he found Yosuke’s arm around his shoulders; there was an impish grin on the brunette’s face as he pulled Souji close and into a long kiss as the ice melted on both their tongues. Souji _knew_ that he’d turned bright red again, but he couldn’t bring himself to care; he leaned in closer, putting an arm around his boyfriend’s waist. When he did, he could feel Yosuke smile against his lips and tighten the arm around his shoulders. 

When the brunette finally pulled back there was a smug grin on his face; he licked his lips, smirking at Souji, and Souji just continued to blush, although he couldn’t look away. “Well, if you have a green tongue I guess we both do, now.” 

“You’d better be glad Chie already left,” Souji muttered - although it wasn’t like he was displeased about the whole situation, just embarrassed.

“Eh, given that we caught her and Yukiko making out behind the practice building last month, I don’t think she has any reason to talk.” They both laughed, and the brunette slid his arm from Souji’s shoulder to his waist as he scooted closer. “Now, let’s finish up our ice, we haven’t even tried any of the games yet.”

* * *

Once the ice was eaten and the cup thrown away, they headed back into the sparse crowd; Yosuke tucked his arm through Souji’s, and Souji was back to his composed self, and they walked along the path where all the games had been set up.

“Any of them seem interesting to you?”

“Mmmm.” Yosuke looked around. “I’ll skip the gun game, although I bet Naoto won Kanji all kinds of cute toys - or, at least, she _better_ have. And the goldfish aren’t really my thing.”

“They’ve got a darts game.”

“They _do_.” The brunette brightened at this. “Sign me up!” 

He headed over to the stall, paying for a handful of darts; he tossed one in his hand as he familiarised himself with its weight and heft - as if they were miniature kunai - and eyed the balloons along the back wall. The stallkeeper watched, looking a little alarmed; behind Yosuke, Souji chuckled. _Not like high school kids usually know how to handle kunai or katanas or what-have-you._

Yosuke’s first throw was off, which clearly annoyed him, but after that the next two darts were both nice, clean throws. The stallkeeper eyed him for a moment, but then nodded to the back row of toys. “Well, take your pick.”

The brunette tilted his head, considering the prizes - mostly plushes - then turned to Souji. “Close your eyes.”

“Huh?”

His boyfriend shoved his arm. “ _Do it_.”

“Okay, okay.” He _wanted_ to look - it wasn’t as if he didn’t have an idea that Yosuke was picking something out for him - but he kept his eyes shut and tried not to listen to the murmuring between the brunette and the stallkeeper, and then he felt something soft being pushed into his arms. 

“Go ahead, look.”

Yosuke sounded a little shy; when the silver-haired boy opened his eyes, he found that he was holding a fluffy orange-and-white plush cat with green eyes and a goofy smile on its face. It was adorable, and he couldn’t help grinning, reaching down to pet its head. 

“It’s so cute - thank you, Yosuke.”

He smiled at his boyfriend, who smiled back, looking a little embarrassed as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I know you can’t have a _real_ cat because Dojima-san is allergic, but…”

“But yeah. Thanks.” He hugged it briefly before offering Yosuke his arm again; the brunette took it with a smile.

“And you know, maybe in college we’ll be able to get a cat? Or after college, or I dunno. We’ll talk about it. I wouldn’t mind it, though.”

“Yeah, I want one… I’d just be worried we wouldn’t be around enough. Especially if we ever start touring.”

“We could take it with us?”

“Maybe.” Souji looked dubious. “I’ve never heard of cats that liked to travel, but maybe.” 

“Well the point is, neither of us are allergic so we’ll get one some day, okay? I promise, partner.” Yosuke looked over at the cat in the crook of Souji’s arm. “Although man, the way you’re holding it, I’m almost jealous.”

His tone of voice was teasing, but Souji raised an eyebrow, looking over at his boyfriend with a calculating expression in his eyes. “You want me to carry you? You’re in a yukata, so it’ll have to be a princess carry, but-”

“Ack, _no!_ ” Yosuke spluttered at this, shoving Souj’s arm; the taller boy laughed at this. 

“Hey, you’re the one-”

“ _I was joking!_ ” 

They walked along, laughing; many of the older couples they passed watched them with a smile, although the boys were too engrossed in each other to really pay much attention. Finally, they found themselves in front of the shrine; they looked at each other, and nodded.

“First, gotta say thanks, then we gotta make wishes for this year.” Yosuke looked over at his boyfriend. “You know what you want to wish for?”

“Yeah.” Souji smiled. “And should we each fill out an ema after this? I’ve heard the ones at this shrine come true a lot.”

“Uhhhh.” The brunette got an awkward expression on his face at this. “Uh, yeah so you see, the thing about that is that you remember the fox, right? I used to help her out sometimes, and…”

As Yosuke spoke, Souji swore he heard what sounded like a cross between a fox’s bark and rough laughter coming from somewhere behind the shrine; after the brunette was done with his story, the taller boy just shook his head.

“If I didn’t know it was true, I wouldn’t believe it. I wondered why you did so much fishing even though you don’t like eating them that much.” He chuckled quietly. “ But, okay. We’ll skip the ema.”

“Yeah, because if I wrote something down about getting into uni, I’m pretty sure I’d come downstairs one morning to find my scholarship application open on the dining room table with fox footprints all over it. And while I’m grateful to her, I really… I think we can manage that ourselves. Or just wish for it. No ema.”

“No ema.” Souji had a hand over his mouth to hide his laughter; the brunette gave him a wry smile, and they stepped up to make their wishes. Souji’s was longer this time; he felt a little guilty about asking for so much, but he wanted to make sure he remembered Nanako and Dojima this time, asking for their health - especially his dad’s - as well as Yosuke’s, of course, and his friends. _And then there’s uni… and music… and making sure Yosuke gets in… and of course… Yosuke. Staying with Yosuke. I don’t care what else happens, I feel like I can do anything if I’m with him._

He smiled a little to himself before looking over at his boyfriend; the brunette’s head was still bowed, and he was chewing his lip, and Souji took that moment to admire how _nice_ he looked in his yukata, standing there as the sun cast long rays across the small shrine grounds. 

Yosuke - who _knew_ that there was something Special about this shrine, whether it was because of the fox (or vice-versa, and the fox was there because it was Special) - made sure to take his time, carefully phrasing his thoughts.

_I wished last year to get to know Souji, and I can easily say that came true. And then, the wish I had at New Years, for him to not have to deal with his parents - well, I’ll be back to say thank you for that one in the proper time. So I guess right now… keep everybody safe and happy. Help Souji and I get into the right colleges, and keep me at his side. I think we can handle ourselves, just so long as we can stay together. Don’t ever let him get tired of me, I know I’ll never get tired of him. Anyway. Babbling again, I guess. Thank you for last year and please help me again this year._

The brunette looked up to see Souji watching him with a soft smile very reminiscent of the one from New Year’s, and he chuckled. “Seems kind of familiar, doesn’t it?”

“Mhm. If I recall, this was where you told me I was your ‘first boyfriend of the year’.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I _really_ meant only boyfriend, ever.”

“I know.” Souji smiled, reaching for the brunette’s hand. “Hey. Spend the night tonight?” 

“Mmm?” Yosuke looked up as Souji tugged him off to the side, although there weren’t any other visitors that he could see. 

“Yeah, after the fireworks, I mean. And after we get some cotton candy for Nanako.”

“Yeah, of course. And I should buy a bag for Teddie, since I did tell him he couldn’t… come… along…”

As he spoke, Souji had leaned over, starting to kiss his neck; the silver-haired boy was lightly tracing his fingers up the edge of Yosuke’s yukata, along his collarbone, and the brunette lost his train of thought, shivering. After a moment, he caught his boyfriend’s hand in his own, giving it a gentle squeeze as he turned his head, putting his lips to Souji’s ear. 

“Save that for your room, partner.” His voice was low, and Souji chuckled quietly, exhaling warmly against his skin. “I’m pretty sure we’d get kicked out if anybody found us doing that here.”

“True, true.” Souji murmured against his neck. “Okay. We’ll get some yakisoba or yakiniku and then watch the fireworks and head home?”

“Yeah, I can’t wait.” Smiling, Yosuke traced a circle on Souji’s palm with his finger before linking their fingers together. “After all, you’re not the only one who thinks his boyfriend looks super hot in his yukata.”

“Mmmm, I do remember last night.” Souji smiled, turning pink, and Yosuke grinned.

“Then you know what to look forward to tonight.”

Smiling, Souji squeezed his hand, and they headed back to the main festival grounds. “I can’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **mugicha** \- barley tea, usually served cold in the summer, no caffeine  
>  **yakisoba** \- yaki (grilled) + soba (noodles), although the noodles used are often ramen or non-soba noodles, and are grilled with meat or veggies  
>  **kunai** \- dagger-like weapons that can also be used as pitons, throwing darts, and spear heads  
>  **yakiniku** \- yaki (grilled) + niku (meat), sticks of grilled meat, often chicken or beef (butaniku is pork, toriniku is chicken, gyuuniku is beef); often parts of the chicken other than the meat are eaten as well


	62. Chapter 62

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 62 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. I know it's been a while, but I just want to say thank you to everybody who's reached out to me or checked on me while I've been on hiatus, and while I really don't think I'll be writing as much as I did (I really just don't have time), I've been feeling a lot more like writing lately, so you should see a bit more of me from here on out. 
> 
> I'm really amazed that so many people have stuck around... I'm grateful for each and every one of you.

“Big bro! Big bro! I’m taller than you, big bro!” 

Yosuke looked up from the beach towel he was spreading out next to Souji’s to see Kanji wander over with Nanako. The blonde had been letting his hair grow out, it seemed - something that the brunette hadn’t noticed until he saw Nanako holding onto it as she sat on Kanji’s shoulders, giggling happily. This did, indeed, make her a great deal taller than _all_ of them, and next to him, Souji grinned up at the little girl.

“So you are, Nanako. I guess this means you can start tucking _me_ into bed at night.” 

“Uh huh!” The little girl giggled again and then leaned over to give Souji a kiss on top of the head - much like her older brother was wont to do to her - and Yosuke couldn’t help smiling at the sight. 

_I always think about how lucky I am in regards to Souji staying in Inaba, but I think it would have been just as much of a tragedy if he and Nanako had to be separated. Dojima-san too, of course._

By that point, Nanako was already steering Kanji towards the water so she could go show ‘Rise-chan and the others’, and Yosuke looked up to see Souji smiling at him. 

“It’s nice that we could get one last trip in before Rise left.” 

“Yeah. It’s gonna be great!” Yosuke gave a little fist pump of victory. “We’ve got a picnic and sodas and snacks and there’s not a cloud in the sky. And there’s hours until Dojima-san comes back to pick Nanako up!”

Pulling his t-shirt over his head and kicking his sandals off to the side, Souji nodded. “Looks like everybody’s still running around - do you want to get in some swimming before we start doing group things?”

Yosuke, who’d been staring at his boyfriend’s torso and realising that the taller boy had actually gotten a _tan_ (a light one, but still!) that summer, was just a split-second late on his response - _it’s not like I can help it! He’s distracting me!_ \- and the half-smirk that Souji gave him was just one more check on the list of ‘things he loved about Souji Dojima’. Smirking back at his boyfriend, the brunette nodded enthusiastically.

“Sure!” He shed his own shirt and sandals - gratified to see Souji give him the same sort of up-and-down look that he knew he’d been guilty of moments before - and then gave his boyfriend an impish grin. “First one to the rock wins?”

“Wins what?” Souji was following him down the beach, the smile on his face saying that no matter what, he’d already accepted the challenge, and Yosuke was pretty sure that ‘winning’ would just mean lazy sunshine kisses, so he didn’t bother to respond as he started to run for the water. Behind him, the taller boy gave a good-natured shout, and Yosuke could hear footsteps pounding behind him (although he also knew he was far and away the fastest runner in their group, so he wasn’t worried), and they were both laughing by the time they’d made it into the water. 

“Winning” turned out to be subjective; Yosuke was a faster runner, but Souji was a _really_ good swimmer, and he’d managed to catch up to his boyfriend - and instead of passing him, grabbed him and dunked him, which in turn led to Yosuke splashing him, and by the time they’d finished tussling, they were both sprawled out on the rock that had been their original destination without a clue or a care as to who’d pulled themselves onto it first. The sun above was _so_ bright, and the sky was _so_ blue, that Yosuke felt all of his troubles and worries melt away; sure, entrance exams were looming, along with all of the cares that accompanied them, and they still had to get through school this year but right now… right now, he had his partner at his side, his friends nearby, and nothing could bother him. 

He’d just put his head back with a sigh of happiness when a shadow fell across his face; opening an eye, he saw Souji leaning over him with the same blissful smile he knew he himself had, and then they were kissing, and honestly? The brunette wasn’t sure if there had ever been or would ever be anything better than kissing Souji in the sunshine and salt breeze. They were far enough from shore that nobody would really see them unless the others were _looking_ for them, and the two passed the next quarter-hour happily in their own little world.

* * *

By the time they heard Nanako calling for ‘Big bro! Yosuke-nii!’ they were growing a bit too warm in the full sun, so they exchanged one last, quick kiss (ignoring Rise’s catcalls) and swam back to shore. There, they found that Chie and Nanako had already started the long and arduous process of burying Teddie in the sand; the little blonde boy seemed ecstatic to be participating in ‘such a ritual of summer’, and Souji saw his boyfriend’s face light up at the opportunity as he hurried over to join them. Looking around, he saw that Naoto was sitting on her blanket nearby, with Rise kneeling behind her, braiding flowers into the detective’s hair. Kanji was, apparently, still acting as Nanako’s assistant - _I’ve got to find out later how_ that _came about_ \- carrying water to and fro for the diggers, and Yukiko was sitting near Chie, cheering the group on. 

Souji couldn’t help smiling at the whole picture - last summer at this point he’d still been rusty and cold, trying to ignore this group and wishing that Yosuke Hanamura would disappear off the face of the planet (or at least out of his life). He knew now that it had been the beginning of the end, for which he was grateful; he’d never believed it would be possible for him to make friends like this, much less find someone like Yosuke to spend his days with. 

_It’s such a small thing; I know this is… normal, for a lot of people. But it’s precious to me._

He debated joining the others, but as enjoyable as his ‘swim’ with Yosuke had been, he was itching to actually get a _real_ swim in, so he leaned in to tell the others that he was going to go back into the water for a bit. Yosuke looked up at him with a nod and a warm smile - there was sand on his cheek, and Souji couldn’t help laughing a little at it - and with that he headed back down to the water. 

Swimming in the ocean was something he’d always enjoyed, but had never really had much of a chance to do - in Tokyo, there had been an olympic-sized pool in his biological parents’ apartment building, and most of his schools had a pool, depending on where he was, so he’d always had a chance to swim, but trips to the beach were few and far between and always with whatever relative he’d been passed off to that time around. He struck back out, swimming between the shore and the rock he and Yosuke had used earlier, and spent a good half-hour in the water. 

By the time he made it back to shore, the others were helping Nanako put the final touches on the glorious disaster that was Teddie; as Souji walked up to the towels, he heard the younger boy calling “Sou-kun! Sou-kun! I’m a castle!” 

Chuckling, he grabbed his shirt to pull it over his head; it wasn’t until he had one arm through that he realised he hadn’t grabbed _his_ shirt, he’d grabbed Yosuke’s. Pausing for a moment, he debated returning it, but he inhaled, and it smelled like the brunette, and he found himself biting his lip as he finished pulling it on. _I keep meaning to ask Yosuke if I can have one of his shirts. I think… I’ll just keep this one._

He’d just reached for the cooler to grab a melon soda when the others broke up to head back to their towels - leaving Teddie behind, who started to protest and _try_ to squirm under the several pounds of sand, until Naoto took pity on him and called for Kanji to help her dig him out. Yosuke wandered up to stand next to him, and there was a split second before the brunette raised an eyebrow.

“You stole my shirt.”

Souji searched his face to see if this bothered the brunette - he didn’t want to make it a problem, after all - but he saw a look of happiness and… pride?... in his boyfriend’s eyes, so he just nodded, putting the soda bottle to his lips. 

“Yep. It’s mine now.”

Yosuke, for his part, found himself ridiculously happy to see Souji wearing his t-shirt; there was something personal about it, something that said “this person is mine” - and he had _no_ problems with that. Smirking at his boyfriend, he reached down to grab Souji’s shirt.

“Fine, then. I get yours.” Souji just grinned as Yosuke pulled it over his head, and once he had it on - noting that the shoulders were a bit loose, just as his was a bit big in general on Souji - he realised that it smelled like his boyfriend and _this was a really great idea._

“Hey. I’m keeping this.”

The grin Souji gave him said that he’d gone through the same thought process, and Yosuke was just leaning in for a kiss when Chie yelled something about “stop making out and come help us” and he realised that the others had the coolers and were laying out the food. He gave Souji a wry smile, and his boyfriend returned it; Yosuke reached down and brushed their hands together for a moment before they headed over to help.

* * *

The picnic - more of a supper than a lunch, as they were eating mid-afternoon, having all had late breakfasts - was long and lazy, and Nanako was in her element, serving everyone and telling them which dishes she’d made herself, and which ones big bro made, and which ones Yosuke-nii had helped with; Chie tried to tease Yosuke about this, but the brunette had gotten over it by this point and merely put an arm around Nanako’s shoulders proudly and made a face at the other girl. It was a few hours before Dojima was scheduled to come pick up Nanako and Souji - the silver-haired boy didn’t have a scooter of his own yet, and it was too far a ride for him to borrow a bicycle - when they were finally finished eating. Chie bounced up from her towel to challenge Yosuke to a race along the beach, and Teddie grabbed Nanako’s hand.

“Let’s go gather shells, Nana-chan!” 

Nanako looked at Souji with a hopeful expression, and he hesitated for a moment - not that he didn’t want her to go, but even if Teddie had become a lot more reliable lately, Souji still wasn’t sure he was enough of a guardian for the little girl. He’d just opened his mouth to say that he’d go with them when Yukiko stood up. 

“Don’t worry, Souji-kun. I’ll go with them.”

“Will you, Yukiko-nee?” Nanako clapped. “Yay! Can I go, big bro?”

Souji gave Yukiko a grateful smile and then nodded at his sister. “Absolutely, but you have to listen to Yukiko, especially if she says it’s time to come back. _Both_ of you.” He looked at Teddie, who merely nodded enthusiastically.

Once they’d headed off down the beach - there were rocks scattered nearby, which created interesting tide pools - Souji turned back to the remnants of the picnic that he’d been putting away, with Rise’s help. He reached for the pile of empty containers only to realise that the redhead was standing at his side, the bag into which she’d been piling leftovers hanging limply in one hand as she looked off across the beach. Following her gaze, he saw that Kanji and Naoto were sitting a ways away from the others, talking, and that Naoto had just hesitantly leaned against Kanji’s shoulder - at which, next to him, Rise gave a shuddering sigh. 

Gently, Souji touched her arm. “Rise. Is everything okay?”

When she turned to look at him, he was startled to see just how _lonely_ her expression was, and he immediately looked back at the couple out on the beach. Next to him, she drew an arm across her eyes for a moment before giving a shaky laugh.

“Yes. No? I don’t know.” 

Watching her, Souji recognised some of the same signs of uncertainty and confusion he himself had seen in the mirror so many times, and as she looked up at him, nodded. Clearly she was having mixed feelings about Naoto and Kanji - whether because of Naoto, or because of Kanji, he wasn’t sure. Gently taking the bag of leftovers that she was holding, he handed her the empty containers and nodded towards the cooler that they were repacking. Taking some time to weigh his words as she put them away, he slowly started to seal the half-empty bags of snacks that were scattered around. 

“It’s hard to figure out how you really feel about somebody. It took me months to realise that I was in love with Yosuke, not just jealous of him, or grateful for his friendship.” When he looked back at the redhead, she was watching him with a wistful expression. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that whatever you’re feeling is valid, and you know that Yosuke and I are here for you if you ever want to talk about it, once you figure things out.”

“Oh, Souji…” Giving another heavy sigh, Rise dropped the edge of the picnic blanket that she’d been holding and threw her arms around the silver-haired boy, hugging him tightly. He gave a half-smile - even if she was the one in pain, she was his friend, and he hated seeing his friends sad - and patted her back as Chie and Yosuke, both out-of-breath from their race, came walking up. The brunette eyed Rise.

“Heyyyy, Rise, what’s going on?”

Rise cracked one eye open and gave Yosuke an impish smile. “Careful, senpai, look away and I might steal your boyfriend!” 

Yosuke just rolled his eyes, putting an arm around Souji’s shoulders and giving him a look that said he’d figured out that something was up, but that he wasn’t going to ask, and Souji gave him an almost-imperceptible nod as the brunette turned his attention back to Rise. “As if. Nobody could steal Souji from me. Right, partner?”

“Right.” Souji gave him a smile, and next to them, Chie gagged. 

“Yeesh. Come on, guys! That’s so gross!” 

“Oh, come on, Chie-senpai! I saw you and Yukiko-senpai making out, like, an hour ago.” Rise giggled, and Souji was glad to see that she seemed to be feeling better, at least for the moment. Just then, Kanji and Naoto rejoined them, followed shortly by Yukiko, leading a tired-but-happy-looking Nanako by the hand, with Teddie bouncing along beside them. Nanako was holding a bag full of shells, and she brightened up when she saw Souji.

“Big bro! Look at all the shells we found!” 

Souji took the bag with a smile. “That’s awesome, Nanako. We’ll go through them and sort them and clean them tomorrow. For now, though, you should sit down and rest for a bit. Dad should be here soon, so we need to finish cleaning up.” He gave his sister a juice box, and she took a seat under the umbrella while the others made short work of the last clean-up. 

* * *

They’d just finished packing the last bag as they heard a vehicle in the distance; it was, indeed, Dojima, and the group divided up the bags and coolers to carry as Souji picked up Nanako, who’d fallen fast asleep. When they walked up, Dojima took one look at them - his sleeping daughter, a smile on her face as she held onto Souji’s neck, and his son with a tan and a smile of his own - and shook his head with a gentle expression on his face.

“Looks like you kids had fun.”

Chie was drooping by this point, as was Rise, and after a quick discussion they decided that Dojima would take Nanako, Teddie, Chie, and Rise back. Kanji would take Chie’s scooter, since it was larger, and they’d fit his bike and Rise’s scooter in the back of Dojima’s jeep. Souji would take Teddie’s place on Yosuke’s scooter, as the brunette had recently gotten a bike large enough for two people to legally ride - not something either of them complained about, although Dojima made sure that the silver-haired boy had his helmet on before he’d even let Yosuke start the ignition. 

Finally, they were all on the road, and Souji wrapped his arms more tightly around his boyfriend’s waist as he leaned in. It was a bit chilly, but sitting as he was, he was warm enough, and although the sound of the scooter was loud, it wasn’t so loud that they couldn’t talk, if he raised his voice. After a while, Yosuke half-turned his head. 

“So, what’s up with Rise?”

Souji took a moment to think before answering. “Honestly, I don’t really know. Have you noticed anything strange about the way she acts around Naoto or Kanji?”

The brunette was quiet for a few moments as he also thought, and then he shook his head. “Can’t say that I have.”

“Yeah.” Souji rested his cheek against Yosuke’s shoulder blade. “I think she’s still figuring it out. I told her that we were here for her, whatever it was, and that we’d be glad to talk if she needed us.”

“Yep.” For a brief second, Yosuke took one hand off his bike to rub Souji’s arm around his waist before putting it back to make the turn onto the road leading into Inaba. “Well, we’ll figure it out together. We always do.”


	63. Chapter 63

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 63 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is a cliffhanger, but I'm posting the next chapter shortly, so just make sure to read them together. It's been hard, juggling the need for All The Domestic Fluff with the need to keep things interesting; I hope this does the job. I feel like even in a 'destined relationship' like they have, there are going to be some misunderstandings and some obstacles. 
> 
> This is a longer chapter, and the next is shorter, but I couldn't really split them any other way, and all-in-one was too long.

“Oh, shit, sorry, partner. I’ve got something else I have to do, I can’t hang out today.”

A stunned expression on his face, Souji looked at the calendar, wondering if he’d gotten the date wrong; he hadn’t, it was Saturday, and they’d been planning for a week to go out to Okina. Taking a deep breath, he gripped his phone.

“It’s… fine, Yosuke. But what plans?” 

“Dad’s got some friend from the Tokyo office coming by. I guess he’s an exec or something? He’s doing a tour of the stores in our region, starting with ours.” That didn’t sound _too_ bad, but there was something about Yosuke’s voice that told Souji he wasn’t finished. The brunette paused for a second, as if gathering his thoughts, and then continued. “He’s got a daughter about my age, and Dad’s expecting me to keep her entertained.”

Souji’s stomach sank at this, and a burning sensation filled his chest. “I… see.” He forced himself to sound natural. “If I can help…”

His boyfriend’s voice softened. “I wish you could. I only found out this morning, so I told him that we could take her with us to Okina, but he just shook his head and said that she’d already said she wanted to go shopping… and suggested it would be best if I took her on my own, as she doesn’t really get along with a lot of people.” Souji could _hear_ the grimace over the phone. “I get the feeling I’m dealing with another Ai here, from back when I first knew her. And he didn’t _say_ anything, but… I know how important Dad’s career is and I don’t want to do anything that might cause him problems.”

“I understand.” Souji couldn’t say much more; after all, he understood what it was like to want to support your family - he would have done the same thing if Dojima had asked it of him - but he couldn’t get rid of the tightness in his chest. Still, he loved Yosuke, and cared a great deal for Mr. Hanamura - and who knew what kind of problems this guy could cause for them? Souji had finally gotten to stay in Inaba, but that didn’t mean that a sudden move wouldn’t take Yosuke away from him -  so all he could do was take another deep breath. “I love you, and you know you can text me at any time.”

“I love you too, partner. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

The day passed in a funk. Souji forced himself to study, after helping Nanako with the chores, but he was pretty certain he hadn’t gotten much out of it - which wasn’t good, given that fall was already on their doorstep. Yosuke texted him a few times, and it was clear that the brunette was doing everything he could to cheer his boyfriend up, for which Souji was immensely grateful - but it wasn’t until his phone lit up with a call as he was getting ready for bed that he finally felt himself relaxing. 

_The day is finally over. We can go back to normal tomorrow, everything’s fine._

Picking it up, he answered with a smile in his voice. “Yosuke! Hey! How was it?”

“Exhausting.” 

It was just one word, and Souji could _feel_ how tired the brunette was through the way he exhaled the syllables. There was something about the tone of his voice, however, that put Souji on guard. 

“At least it’s over now?”

“About that…” Yosuke’s voice was faint, and he sounded upset. “So, apparently Dad’s friend is leaving Kimiko with us for the week while he's touring the area. Dad didn’t drop the part about her staying until dinner - I don’t even know if it was planned until today. I might have to miss a day or two of class, depending. Kind of like when Yukiko has to work overtime at the inn.”

“But that’s for business!” Souji knew he shouldn’t be angry, but he couldn’t help it. “You can’t tell me this girl can’t entertain herself for a handful of hours every day - this is for your _career_ , Yosuke!” 

“I know!” For a moment, the brunette’s voice was sharp, but he softened it immediately. “I _know_ , partner. I know I used to joke about not coming to school and everything, but believe me when I say I don’t _want_ this. I know how important my studies are! I _need_ to get into uni with you! I don’t like the idea of spending half of my week looking after some girl I don’t even know, and who’s-” Here, he paused. “Staying with us, so I’ll just say that. She’s got my room, I’m going to be sleeping with Ted.” There was a pause, and an exhale. “I’m sorry, Souji… I _missed_ you today…”

Souji couldn’t help feeling guilty. “I missed you, too, Yosuke. A lot.”

“Anyway, I’m definitely coming to school tomorrow. We’ve got English and I’ve got band practice. The rest of the week, I don’t know about - we’ve got Thursday off, too - but I guess we’ll just take it one day at a time.”

It was small comfort to Souji. He’d already identified the tightness in his chest as jealousy - far worse than any he’d ever felt about Yosuke’s exes - and he didn’t know _how_ he was going to manage an entire week of it.

 _But I have to. If I’d gone back to Tokyo, we would have gone months or more without seeing each other, or even talking. We were certain we could handle that then, so I can handle this now. Get a grip, Souji! You trust Yosuke, you_ know _how much he loves you, you_ know _nobody’s going to replace you. It’s just because you don’t know this girl, and because you’re used to spending all your time together._

“Yeah, we’ll manage. And you know I’ll help in any way I can, Yosuke.”

“Yeah.” His boyfriend’s voice was soft. “I love you so much, Souji. I’m so glad you’re here.”

* * *

Yosuke was waiting for him at their usual place the next morning, and if there were too many people around for them to do anything too untoward - even _Souji_ had to resist the urge to pull his boyfriend into a kiss, and he vaguely wondered how they’d ever handle being apart for more than a day - the brunette still took his hand tightly, lacing their fingers together. Class passed normally, and Souji had packed lunch for both of them, which they ate behind the building. It wasn’t the _best_ place for an impromptu makeout session - but it didn’t seem to bother either of them. All-in-all, it was a normal day, and by the end of it, Souji was feeling much better.

It lasted until they left the school building. Yosuke was already tense - Souji could see that he was dreading the afternoon and evening - and Souji had wrapped an arm around his boyfriend’s waist to give him a little more comfort; they were going to walk together to the Hanamuras’, so that the boys could be together for as long as possible, and then Souji would pick up something for dinner and go back home to Nanako. As soon as they got into the school yard, however, Souji felt Yosuke tense further; he followed his boyfriend’s gaze to see a girl standing at the gates, and he knew immediately that it was Kimiko. It wasn’t the chic hairstyle, it wasn’t the perfectly-manicured nails holding the cute handbag, it wasn’t the trendy outfit - it was the look of unabashed _disdain_ with which she was watching them. As soon as she could tell that they'd seen her, she hurried towards them. Her jealous expression didn’t escape Souji; he knew he’d been feeling the same way for the last twenty-four hours. _So she_ does _have a thing for Yosuke. I expected as much._

“Yooooosuke! Yoooosuke! I was sooo bored so I decided to come pick you up!” She stopped in front of them, and out of instinct, Souji pulled away from Yosuke (he was grateful, at least, that it hadn’t been Yosuke who had pulled away from him), and as soon as he did she pushed herself between the two, wrapping her arm around the brunette’s. “Guess what? I begged your dad and he said you don’t have to come to school for the rest of the week!” She flashed a glance at Souji, and her victorious expression set his teeth on edge. “Isn’t that awesome? It’s not like there’s a ton to do here, but we can hang out _all_ week!”

The look on Yosuke’s face was as stunned as the one Souji knew he had on his own. “I- but my studies-”

“Oh, pssssh, that’s fine! I know how smart you are, Yosuke, you’ll be fine! You can miss a few days for _me_ , can’t you?” 

She was already dragging the brunette along at this, and Yosuke turned, a panicked look on his face. “Souji, I’ve got to go, but I’ll text you, I promise-”

For his part, Souji couldn’t say anything, he could only watch his boyfriend being dragged off with an expression on his own face that he knew was _not_ complimentary - and he was too tired to hide it. 

* * *

Yosuke, of course, made sure to text Souji as often as he could throughout the week - calling whenever it was feasible - and continued to reassure the silver-haired boy as much as he could. He _knew_ his boyfriend was jealous, and didn’t blame him - it wasn’t like it wasn’t painfully obvious that Kimiko was trying to flirt with him, and it took all of his charm to walk the fine line between insulting her, and leading her on. He never brought Souji up directly, but he was clear that he was in a relationship; she was also just as clearly annoyed every time the subject came up, and frankly… it was _exhausting_.

Despite how tiring it was to keep up with Kimiko, however, Yosuke couldn’t help feeling a little relief, having so much free time; it wasn’t that he hated school, and he knew that his studies were important… but there was just _so much_ , and he couldn’t _remember_ the last time he and Souji had taken a break. Back with Rise and the beach, he supposed, but that was… weeks ago. A month, at least. Their day in Okina was _supposed_ to be a day off, but that hadn’t happened, had it? Guiltily, he realised that Souji had probably spent the day studying.

 _He’s got a tendency to overwork himself, and I cancelled on him at the last moment. Not to mention that we haven’t had_ any _time to ourselves this past week, I haven’t even_ seen _him since I ran into him at Junes two days ago… I’ll bet he’s been spending every day buried in his books, and here I am, dicking around. Ugh. I shouldn’t feel so relieved to have time off._ He knew he wasn’t dicking around - just like he knew that if he’d had a choice, he would have gone to school every day, no matter how boring it was - but that didn’t stop the guilt. 

_I’ll have to do something to make it up to him once Kimiko is gone. A day off, something relaxing, I’ll make sure he doesn’t have to do anything that day -  maybe I’ll talk to Nanako about seeing if we can go together on a vacation-from-everything day for him. I should bring him here. The music is great, the atmosphere isn’t too adult, it seems pretty clean. The food is good, too._

They were at a restaurant-club and a blues band was playing. It wasn’t a full bar - Kimiko had strongly hinted that she wanted to find one, but Yosuke was _not_ interested in getting into trouble, so they found a place that had live music that also served food. She seemed a bit bored, but Yosuke decided he didn’t care; he’d spent all week catering to her wishes, and he knew that it was a trendy enough spot that she wouldn’t complain _too_ much. 

Once dinner was over, she insisted on hitting a few more stores, but eventually they were on the train home. It wasn’t _too_ late - he couldn’t have been more grateful that she was staying with him, because he could always use his parents as an excuse as to why he needed to get back before curfew - and he knew Souji would still be up. Struck with an overwhelming _need_ to see his boyfriend, he looked at his phone. 

“Oh, hey, Souji just texted. He’s got some forms I need to go by and pick up, something about career discussions at school.” He felt a little guilty for lying, but it was a white lie, and it was better than telling her that he needed time away from her voice, her perfume, time to lose himself in a pair of clear silver eyes, to breathe in his boyfriend’s scent and forget that the week wasn’t over yet. _Two more days. Just two more days, then it’ll be over, and we can go back to normal_. 

As expected, her mouth pressed into a little line. “I’ll go with you-”

“Oh, I couldn’t ask that.” He flashed her a wide smile that he didn’t feel. “You’ve been walking all day, you deserve some time to relax and rewind. I won’t be gone too long.” 

The look on her face was one of extreme dissatisfaction, but as she’d been complaining all day about the new shoes she was wearing (he wondered if she’d been wanting him to carry her, or piggy-back her, but as he was _already_ carrying her bags, it would have been impossible) she couldn’t contradict him, and he felt a small sensation of victory. 

Feeling bolstered by the fact that he was going to get to see Souji tonight - he’d already texted his boyfriend to say that he’d be over in about half-an-hour - Yosuke got Kimiko home and settled before practically running out the door. His feet flew along the familiar paths to the Dojimas’ house, and Souji must have been watching for him, because before he could even knock the door flew open and he found himself pulled into an embrace he’d missed too much this past week. 

“Oh, Yosuke, I missed you _so_ much.” 

The brunette let himself melt into the taller boy’s arms, inhaling his boyfriend’s scent, relaxing as he listened to the familiar heartbeat. “I missed you, too, Souji.” He looked up, and was immediately struck by how _tired_ his boyfriend looked, and it made him feel even more guilty at the wear this week was putting on him. 

Wear or not, however, there was still a smile on Souji’s face, and he leaned in for a kiss that started sweet, but eventually got so hungry that Yosuke had to pull back. “Careful, partner,” he whispered. “Your dad would be pissed if Nanako ended up seeing too much.” 

His boyfriend chuckled, and _god_ , how Yosuke had missed the sound. “Yeah. And I know you said you can’t be gone long, so we shouldn’t go upstairs. Outside?”

“Yeah. Probably safest.” While the brunette wanted nothing more than to drag Souji upstairs and not come down again until morning, he knew that for now, that wasn’t an option. Yosuke took his boyfriend’s hand, Souji closed the door behind them, and they headed out into the garden, where there was a little bit of privacy. 

Yosuke would have been happy to just sit with Souji - he _definitely_ didn’t want to talk about Kimiko, at least until she was gone and the ordeal was _over_ \- but he remembered his thoughts from dinner, so he poked Souji in the side, gently. 

“Hey, partner. I found this really awesome restaurant, it’s got live music. We should go whenever Kimiko is gone. We could make a relaxing day of it, do some shopping, check out the music store. It felt good get out, and I know you’ve been studying so much lately, and-”

He was trying to keep his voice cheerful, meaning to reassure his boyfriend that everything was okay, but after a moment he realised that it might not have been the best idea as Souji’s eyes narrowed. 

“Yosuke, you’ve been out of school for days. You’ve missed three days of class and at least four study sessions. I would say you’ve already _had_ your ‘relaxing day’ - more like a relaxing _week_.” 

His boyfriend’s tone felt like a slap, and Yosuke pulled away. “What the hell, Souji? I’m not talking about myself, I’m talking about you-”

“Don’t use me as an excuse to waste time, Yosuke. I’m not interested in frivolity. You might not care about your entrance exams, but _I_ do, and we’re running out of time-”

“Oh my god! Souji, listen to yourself! It’s been _one week!_ You know as well as I do that I couldn’t say no, and you know that I’ve been busting my _butt_ to study as hard as I can! Kimiko’s going to be gone in two days. We can study as much as we want after that! I’m trying to get _you_ to take a break, but you’re too busy being jealous!” 

At the word ‘jealous’, Souji winced, and Yosuke couldn’t help feeling guilty. He _knew_ that as hard as this week had been on him, it had been worse on his boyfriend - and while Souji’s self-esteem had been getting better since they’d been together, it was still fragile, and he was still a worrier. But Yosuke had been looking forward so much to seeing Souji _happy_ at finding out that the brunette had been planning a ‘day’ for him that it hurt when his boyfriend didn’t react the way he’d wanted him to. They stared at each other - both angry, both guilty - and while Yosuke knew that all it needed was for one of them to apologise, well… he didn’t see why it had to be _him_ this time. After all, he’d been having a bad week of it, too, and it wasn’t like he _wanted_ Kimiko to be here, and… 

_Dammit, I’m going home._

He turned away, starting to walk towards the street; behind him, he heard Souji call his name, faintly, and grab his hand. He paused for a moment - underneath the pain and anger, he _loved_ Souji, so much, _so_ much - but he was still mad. Shaking the hand off, he shrugged. 

“I’ll text you later.” 

Souji didn’t make another move to stop him - Yosuke found himself wishing that he had, but he also knew that his boyfriend had probably withdrawn into himself. The brunette wanted nothing more than to turn around and comfort him, but the niggling little voice of anger wouldn’t leave him alone, and he knew he’d just say something else he would regret, so he squared his shoulders and started running, heading home.

He knew they’d both been at fault, and that they both had reasons - even if they’d handled them poorly. He knew that Souji was jealous, but that Souji had put up with a _lot_ this past week - and that this probably hadn’t been the best time to bring up taking a day off. He knew that he was tired, that Kimiko had been wearing his nerves down, and that Souji really _could_ get tunnel vision when it came to studying and exams.

That didn’t stop the tears of anger and guilt from filling his eyes as he ran home.


	64. Chapter 64

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 64 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to read Ch 63, as they were published in quick succession, and this is a resolution to the cliffhanger.
> 
> Definite innuendo at the end, and a lot of fluff to round out the angst.

_We fought, and he hates me, and he’s never going to talk to me again. Why did I say that? Who cares if he studies? I shouldn’t force him to do anything, I just want Yosuke back, I want my boyfriend back, I miss him, he’s going to hate me forever…_

It was Saturday, and for the first time Souji had called out sick from class. He felt like death - it might have been emotional sickness, but it was enough to convince both his dad and Nanako - and he lay in bed all day, hating himself, thinking about how much he’d screwed up, regretting almost every word he’d said to Yosuke.

They’d exchanged texts the night before, after the fight, after Yosuke had left him. He’d finally sent his boyfriend a text just saying “I’m sorry, I was wrong,” and he’d gotten one back a lot more quickly than he’d expected that said “me 2, we’ll talk l8r”.

It was the ‘we’ll talk’ that did him in. Text apologies weren’t enough for the fight they’d had, and the longer it went the more he was _convinced_ that Yosuke hated him, was going to break up with him, would realise that it was a lot more fun being with some trendy, vivacious girl than it was to be with Souji - if not Kimiko, somebody like Rise. Even if he _knew_ , deep down inside, that he and Yosuke were linked - it wasn’t like he could ever _forget_ the Shadow world, or their fight with Izanami - it didn’t stop him from thinking _what if it’s not enough?_

Nanako was a darling. She brought him tea and broth and made him eat, and when he wasn’t tearing himself to pieces, he slept for most of the day. It didn’t help that Yosuke hadn’t texted him since the night before; just that, Souji felt, was a sign that Things Were Over, and he didn’t know how he was going to manage. Sure, he was in Inaba now, so that was at least one thing better about his life - but how was he going to face school every day when Yosuke hated him?

Eventually, he was startled awake by a tapping at his window. He sat up, blearily, rubbing his eyes; the first thing he noticed was that it was late - nearly midnight - and the second thing was that there was a very familiar silhouette against his window shades. Heart in his throat - a million thoughts running through his head, none of which he wanted to focus on - Souji scrambled out of his futon to hurry over and open the window, and his boyfriend slipped into the room. 

Joy and fear mixed in the silver-haired boy’s heart, but it was all eclipsed by the confusion he felt over seeing the brunette standing before him in a tuxedo. A well-fitted, very _nice_ tuxedo that hugged him in all the right places and _oh my god Souji stop that you shouldn’t be having those thoughts right now. Why would he be in a tuxedo? Was he on a date with Kimiko?_ The thought soured his stomach.

Yosuke was watching him, and something of his anxiety must have shown on his face because the brunette took his hands; the look on his face was one of chagrin and regret. “Souji. I’m _so sorry_ about last night. I was thinking more about myself and my plans than I was you and your feelings, and I should have apologised immediately, I was just being so _selfish_ and angry…”

Souji felt tears prickle his eyes. _He doesn’t hate me?_ Putting both hands up to his face, he tried to stifle a hiccup. “I’m sorry, so sorry, Yosuke, it was my fault, I was so jealous, I am jealous, I’ve been _so_ jealous, I know you were trying to be nice to me but all I could do was lash out at you, and I’m afraid you’re going to break up with me, and-”

“And nothing.” A pair of arms folded around him and Souji found himself being held close. He wanted to pull away - after all, he was dishevelled and had been in bed all day and probably needed a shower, and Yosuke looked _amazing_ and smelled even better - but the arms tightened and he felt his boyfriend press a kiss to the back of each of his hands. “I’m not breaking up with you, I won’t! I can’t, Souji, I love you way too much.” 

Souji took a deep breath, finally moving his hands from his face, and he allowed himself to relax in his boyfriend’s arms as relief coursed through his veins and the knots in his stomach eased. They stood like that for a few moments before he thought to ask why Yosuke was there, wearing a tux; before he could, however, the brunette sighed heavily. 

“I have to apologise for more than that.” The words made Souji tense, and Yosuke followed up, hurriedly. “It’s nothing bad! I promise. I just had to go to a party tonight with Kimiko - her father’s back, and he’d brought a handful of execs and managers from other stores, and they had party at one of the hotels, and I had to escort her. I went because I knew it was the last day and that it didn’t mean anything - it’s not like I haven’t told her a thousand times that I’m in a relationship.”

Souji didn’t like the sound of this, but he also trusted Yosuke when he said that it was ‘nothing bad’, so he just sat down on the couch, quietly, to listen. Yosuke hesitated for a moment, and then sat next to him.

“All I could think about tonight was you, anyway - I didn’t want to just apologise over text, you deserved more than that - and then, as the party was winding down, Kimiko cornered me. She told me to break up with you, offered to pay my way through college _and_ yours if I’d date her, and I just… I lost it. I chewed her out, and then left.”

While it wasn’t an exact scenario that Souji had imagined, he’d come close, and he still couldn’t help worrying that Yosuke might resent him over losing a free college education - he didn’t care about himself, he knew he could get a scholarship. He was _happy_ that Yosuke had blown her off, but-

“Are- are you sure?” He had to clench his hands to keep them from trembling. “Yosuke, you’d be guaranteed entrance into whatever college you wanted, and-”

“Don’t even say it, don’t even _think_ it.” The brunette’s voice was sharp as he put a hand over his boyfriend’s mouth, but the _look_ he gave Souji was enough to say that he wasn’t _mad_ , he was determined. “Maybe once upon a time I would have thought about it for your sake, but I’m _past_ that. You wouldn’t be willing to give _me_ up for a free ride, and I won’t give you up, either. Like I said at the festival, I’m gonna do this myself, I’m not gonna be dependant on someone else’s money, and I’d never give you up for _anybody_ \- you’re way too important.”

The look in his eyes was so fierce, the tone of voice so vehement that Souji couldn’t help laughing, he was so relieved. “Oh, Yosuke… I love you so much, I don’t deserve you…” He threw his arms around the brunette, who exhaled heavily and rested his chin on his boyfriend’s shoulder before laughing a little wryly. 

“Kimiko’s mad, of course. I pulled my dad aside before I left, and told him everything. He understands - he said he thinks it’ll be okay, that he doubts that was an offer approved by Kimiko’s dad, anyway - but also suggested that it would be better if I stayed here tonight, so as not to annoy her further, as long as you’re okay with it…”

Souji snorted. “Of course I’m okay with it. I _missed_ you. Let me go leave dad a note on the kitchen table, I don’t think he’ll mind, but I also don’t want him to get mad because we didn’t tell him. I’ll just tell him you ended up with too many folks at your place and needed somewhere to crash.”

He got up to do it before he could get _too_ lost in Yosuke’s arms - knowing that if he let himself get trapped, he’d forget about everything until the next day - but he was back within ten minutes. Walking into the room, he saw that Yosuke had leaned back against the couch, eyes closed for a moment; he looked tired, but he also looked _amazing_ in his suit, and their week apart was quickly pushing all of Souji’s anxieties out the window. Still, he couldn’t help teasing his boyfriend a little - he considered it payback for how much worry he’d gone through that week - and he crossed his arms with an audible ‘hmph’. Yosuke looked up at this, his face questioning as he saw Souji’s stance.

“Partner?” There was a note of worry in his voice, and it was everything Souji could do not to just rush over and hug him. Walking slowly to the couch, he put his hands on his hips. 

“I didn’t even know you owned a tuxedo. What kind of secret is that to hide from your boyfriend? And you let her see it before me!” 

An anxious look flitted through Yosuke’s eyes. “I rented it, I swear! You’ve been through my closet, you know I don’t own anything like this-” As Souji sat down, Yosuke’s eyes narrowed. “Wait. You’re giving me hell, aren’t you?” 

It had been long - _too_ long - since they’d last been together, and Souji found himself smirking as he leaned towards the brunette. “It looks good.” 

An answering smirk crossed Yosuke’s lips as he reached for Souji’s shoulders. “We’ll have to take advantage of it while I have it, then.”

“Oh, I plan on it.” Something about the mix of anxiety, jealousy, love, and relief had touched a fuse inside the silver-haired boy, and he pushed Yosuke back against the arm of the couch, holding the brunette’s hands down as he started to kiss his boyfriend’s neck, sucking on the soft skin at the curve of his throat. Below him, Yosuke shuddered. 

“I meant… taking you out for a nice dinner…” The brunette was squirming by now, but he wasn’t trying to get away; his words grew halting as Souji started to turn his attention to licking and kissing other spots. “But… _mmmmm_ … this is… good too…”

Souji loved Yosuke’s voice, but he was tired of hearing _words_ , so he captured the brunette’s lips in a deep, hungry kiss as he began to use one hand to unbutton the ‘offending’ tuxedo - the other hand still holding down both of his boyfriend’s wrists - and soon neither of them were talking.

* * *

Hours later, they lay in Souji’s futon, exhausted. They’d had a shower, and Souji was asleep against the brunette’s chest; Yosuke was tired, too, but he found himself drifting drowsily as he softly stroked his boyfriend’s hair. Souji had been an absolute wildcat that night, and even though Yosuke had _no_ intention of ever getting into another situation like the one they’d just been through, he couldn’t help wondering if there was another way to bring that side of his boyfriend out. It was so rare for Souji to take charge, but when he did, the brunette loved every minute of it. 

_Still, there’s time. Like I told him, I’m not going to let him go. We were meant to be together. Whatever’s waiting for us, we’ll face together._

He yawned, and Souji nuzzled against him in his sleep. 

_And maybe I should look into buying a tuxedo of my own..._


	65. Chapter 65

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 65 of Thawing a Frozen Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I haven't dropped this story - but my time to write is very rare. I'll try to update more often!
> 
> Just some clean-up after the mess of the last couple of chapters~

When Souji woke several hours later, it was barely light, and his desk clock showed that it was just before sunrise. They hadn’t set an alarm -  had been too busy - and although it was Sunday, they shouldn’t sleep it away, so he reached for his clock. As soon as he stretched his arm out of the covers he winced; their exertions from the previous night were catching up to him and he was more than a little sore. Blushing a little, as he hadn’t realised he’d been quite so… _intense_ … he hurriedly set the alarm and snuggled back under the blanket. It was still early fall, but nights could be chilly. 

As he did, Yosuke mumbled something in his sleep and rolled towards his boyfriend. Wrapping an arm around the brunette’s shoulders, Souji smiled a little; he thought back to the last couple of days, however, and sighed quietly. 

_I’m glad we sorted things out, but… I can’t help worrying about what this is going to do to Mr. Hanamura. If Kimiko was the daughter of an influential executive…_

Influential men did not like to be embarrassed, and if Kimiko was as much of a daddy’s girl as it sounded, her father could well be angry, and take it out on the Hanamuras.

_Not that what she did was right, but is he going to see it that way?_

Feeling guilty, he reached for his phone. He wasn’t going to wake Yosuke up, and if his boyfriend had been awake he still might not have mentioned his worries - the brunette was already stressed about the situation, and Souji’s musings wouldn’t help. 

Rise, though - Rise had shown, time and again, that more than anyone other than his partner, she could understand his anxieties and worries, and she was a good friend to the both of them. Not that they weren’t all friends - and if something actually _did_ happen to Yosuke, they’d all deal with it together - but he felt like, of the group, Rise most understood the familial and societal pressures that both Souji and Yosuke were used to dealing with. Yukiko might, perhaps, but she at least had the blessings of the town. Like Souji, Rise was used to trying to live up to impossible ideals - and like Yosuke, she was used to dealing with a public that would turn on you in a second.

Although the fact that she was awake so early didn’t make him happy, he knew that her practice schedule often had her up before dawn, and he wasn’t surprised - and was actually relieved - when he got a response to his initial text. Next to him, Yosuke shifted again; there was a focused, almost unhappy look on the brunette’s face, and Souji worried that he was dreaming about something bad - but when the silver-haired boy snuggled back under the blankets, the unhappy look shifted to one of contentment as a pair of arms snaked back around Souji’s waist and he felt his boyfriend’s face against his shoulder. Smiling a little, Souji ran a hand across the brunette’s hair before turning his attention back to his phone.

* * *

His conversation with Rise lasted for a good half-hour, and by the end of it, Souji was feeling better - and a little hopeful. He wasn’t sure Rise could actually _do_ any of the things she was suggesting, but then he wasn’t asking her to, anyway. Just having talked things out with her made him feel better, and it was nice to hear someone else say that everything hadn’t been his fault. Even if he _knew_ it wasn’t, it was hard not to feel the anxiety.

Still, when he finally lay back down with Yosuke’s arms around him and the brunette’s head shifting from his shoulder to his chest, it was a lot easier to remember that whatever had happened, it was Yosuke’s choice to make, and Yosuke had chosen Souji - a fact that made him feel warm all over again. They’d manage, somehow. They’d been through a lot more than this.

* * *

When Yosuke woke the next morning, he found himself squinting blearily at the alarm clock that he hadn’t remembered setting. In his arms, Souji mumbled something and buried his head under the covers; as much as Yosuke would have loved to indulge his boyfriend, they had set an alarm for a reason, and they should be getting up to-

 _Oh. Oh, right._ He remembered the night before and sighed. _I have to go talk to Dad, see what kind of penance I’m going to have to pay. I’ll probably have to apologise in person to Kimiko and her dad… might have to beg a little bit, do some hours in the store… I’m_ not _going back on what I said, though!_ He looked down at the sleepy silver head still buried under the covers, and then leaned over to kiss it. _Souji needs me, and I need him. I’d never give that up_.

He took a couple of minutes to wake Souji up - his boyfriend, of course, was always slow in the mornings - and it was comforting to spend a little time together, cuddled in bed, kissing lazily and talking quietly before he had to get up. Then, he grabbed a shower, ate with Souji and Nanako, and headed home (carrying the suit - he always had a couple of changes of clothes in Souji’s room, and vice versa.) At least he’d had his father’s dubious blessings to spend the night at the Dojimas’ and wasn’t going to have to explain where he’d been.

He was lucky that his father was home. It would have _sucked_ if he’d had to go to Junes for this discussion; he didn’t have much to do with the part timers any more, but he still didn’t need curious parties listening in on something that was going to be at least embarrassing, and possibly worse. His parents were at breakfast when he came in; he looked around, feeling nervous, and his father shook his head.

“Murai left already, don’t worry. Go put your stuff up and come back to join us. I’m sure you ate at Dojima’s, but you can have some juice. How is Dojima-san?”

“He’d already gone to work when we got up.” Yosuke hurried upstairs, dropping the suit on the bed before returning; when he did, he found a glass of juice and a plate of eggs waiting for him. 

“That’s good to hear. Nanako-chan and young Dojima are doing all right as well, I assume?”

Yosuke nodded at this, staring at his juice. _Get to the point, dad! I need to know what’s going to happen!_ There was a spell of silence, and then his father sighed. His first words, however, had the brunette staring at him in shock.

“Yosuke, I owe you an apology.” When he saw his son blinking at him, he gave a wry smile. “I shouldn’t have left you to manage Kimiko-chan by yourself. I knew where her interests lay, and although I knew that you would be able to handle her, I shouldn’t have left you to do so alone. I am sorry.”

It wasn’t that Yosuke’s father never apologised to him, but Yosuke had come home expecting a lecture, _not_ an apology. Before he could do much other than stammer out an acceptance, his father continued.

“However, you also should have come to me, especially when she started attempting to bargain with you. I _am_ your father, and it’s my place to deal with those sorts of things, and not leave them to a seventeen-year-old. You handled yourself as well as such a situation can allow, but at least until you head off to university, leave those sorts of situations to me, all right?”

It was more like what Yosuke had been expecting, and he nodded. When he did, his father set down his now-empty coffee mug. “All right. Now that we’ve covered that, we’ll need to speak with Murai - he and Kimiko are staying at the civic centre hotel, and we can probably see them before they leave. Let me-”

At that moment, his cell rang, and he sighed. “It’s Murai. We’ll finish talking after this call.”

Feeling his heart drop into his stomach, Yosuke swallowed and then nodded, looking down at his half-eaten eggs. He couldn’t help thinking about the tamagoyaki Souji had made that morning for breakfast, and he found himself wishing, with all his heart, that everything could just be _over_ so that things could go back to normal. It was at that moment he realised that his father’s tone of voice had shifted from tired and apprehensive to confused and relieved; jerking his head up, he found himself on the receiving end of an indecipherable look.

“I don’t- well, yes, that’s definitely great news, although I’m not sure what he- mmhm, of course, yes. I’m sure he did. Yes, he’s forward-thinking like that. Oh, thank you, I’ll be sure to tell him. No, no, of course it’s not a problem, no worries at all. Please don’t mention it, I’m sure she’s just enthusiastic- oh, well, no, I don’t think that’s going to work, but thank you. Of course, of course, you’re too kind. Of course, I’ll talk to you later. Yes, goodbye.”

Mr. Hanamura hung up, and although Yosuke wanted nothing more than to immediately ask what the call was about, he knew better than to harass his father at this moment. There was a long pause as the tired manager stared at the phone in his hands; it looked as if he was trying to gather his thoughts. Finally, he looked up at Yosuke.

“So, that was Murai.” When the brunette nodded, inwardly screaming _I know that but what happened_ , his father gave an unexpected chuckle. “You can calm down, son. He was just telling me that he’d gotten a call from Takura Productions this morning. Apparently the execs have been shopping around for a celebrity to star in Junes’s newest commercial, and your good friend Risette says she wants to do it - she even _requested_ it. Apparently she had so much fun performing at our little branch here in Inaba, and apparently some of her _best friends_ work for Junes, and she just _loves_ the company. Isn’t that unexpected?”

Of all the things Yosuke had expected to hear, this was not one of them. He _was_ the IT’s leader, however, and connecting facts had always been his strongest suit, so it was easy enough to figure out what had happened, and he couldn’t help but shake his head in relief. “I see that Rise’s being her usual self. I didn’t say anything to her, though. If that’s what you’re implying.”

“Mmm, well, however she got the idea, Murai is convinced that you did it, and honestly, I’m not inclined to disabuse him of the notion. He praised you for your forward thinking and desire to help the company, and says that he’s _terribly_ sorry for Kimiko’s capriciousness. Of course, he followed up with a remark that he liked to see that kind of drive in a young man of your caliber, and if you _were_ interested in Kimiko, he might see what he could do?” When Yosuke blanched at this, his father gave a wry shake of his head. “Don’t worry, I told him it wasn’t going to work and he’s too elated over the news about Risette to really care, and I’ve known him long enough to know that he’ll have forgotten by next week. Kimiko, too, probably. I think she was just enjoying the novelty, to be honest.”

While the idea that Yosuke was “just novelty” kinda stung a bit, the brunette was quick to nod - whatever the reasoning, he didn’t want to deal with Kimiko again and the fact that everything had been packaged in such a neat and tidy parcel really took a load off his mind. He was just trying to think of a way to thank Rise - and Souji, because if _Yosuke_ hadn’t told the idol, there was only one other person who _could_ have - when he realised that his father was still smiling at him, and that the smile had turned into one of those very alarming “father expressions.”

“Of course, even if everything is finally settled, this week has been hectic. While I appreciate all that you and Dojima did to work things out - it seemed that Yosuke’s father wasn’t too far behind his son in putting two and two together - this weekend has still been rough and we’re behind at the store. You two won’t mind putting in a few hours next weekend to help out, I’m sure.”

Swallowing, Yosuke shook his head. “Of course not, dad. I’ll tell Souji, I’m sure we’ll both be able to manage it.”

He escaped up to his room as soon as he could, finally allowing himself to breathe a sigh of relief. All-in-all, it could have been worse, if all they got away with was having to spend an afternoon stocking shelves at Junes. Taking out his phone, he scrolled down to find Souji’s number. 

After all, he had to tell Souji about their job the next weekend - and he had a few questions he wanted to ask his boyfriend.

* * *

“Yooske! _Yoooooosuke!_ ” 

Souji looked up from the shelf that he was stocking in time to see Ted barrel down the aisle, arms spread, as he threw himself at the brunette. “Yoooosuke! You’re here! It’s so beary good to see you, and Sou-kun too!” When Yosuke put a hand out, holding the boy (rotating arms and all) at a distance and rolling his eyes at his boyfriend, Souji chuckled. 

“It’s just for the afternoon, Teddie, but it’s good to see you, too.”

“You’re so kind, Sou-kun! We should all hang out after work is done!”

“Sorry, bear.” Yosuke had dropped his arm, putting up with the subsequent sticky hug as Teddie then bounced over to hug Souji, as well. “We’ve got plans, gonna study.”

“Awwww, you two just studied last night!” When Ted pouted, Yosuke crossed his arms.

“Yeah, and we also watched, like, four Disney movies last night. All of which _you_ picked.”

“Fiiiiine.” Realising he wasn’t going to get his way, the young blonde boy sighed. “I’ll see if Kanji wants to hang out. _He_ loves me.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Souji and I gotta work, Ted. And _so do you_.” When Teddie made a face and ran off, Yosuke turned to Souji, who was just finishing the end cap of baking supplies. “Well, that’s it for this area, we need to head over to the toy department next.”

“Hey, Yosuke.” While Souji was half-listening to his boyfriend, he was also thinking about an idea he’d been playing with since the weekend before. 

“What’s up, partner?” As the brunette raised an eyebrow, Souji ran a finger along the edge of a package of flour, feeling a little nervous. After all, the fight they’d had about this topic had been no joke.

“Well… about tonight. We should probably still do some flashcards and stuff, but… I was thinking. How about we get dinner afterwards? Maybe…” he hesitated for a moment, then smiled. “Maybe that restaurant you told me about? With the live music?”

Yosuke’s wary expression was no surprise. “Wait. You want to go there? But you said-”

Feeling chagrined - he’d expected the response - Souji opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, the brunette’s look shifted to a smile. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I know we talked it out - and I’d love to go there. I owe you a date, you know? After everything that happened.”

It was Souji’s turn to look surprised, although he knew he shouldn’t have been. _He’s always one step ahead, figuring things out - that’s why he’s our leader._ Smiling, he reached for Yosuke’s hand for just a minute, letting the stack of empty boxes hide the gesture from anyone who might be passing by. “You mean we owe Rise.”

Grinning, Yosuke squeezed his hand - and refused to let it go. “Yeah, we owe Rise - but I’m well aware that she wouldn’t have even _known_ anything was up if she hadn’t gotten a late-night text from someone. Tonight is us. We’ll do something with Rise another time.” Before Souji could say anything, the brunette stepped backwards, tugging his boyfriend with him, and suddenly they were blocked from the public by not only the boxes, but also a large column and a handy cardboard cutout of a cartoon character. The kiss Yosuke stole was quick, but the suspense made it warm and breathless and Souji’s lips were still tingling when they reemerged, with no-one else the wiser. 

And then, Yosuke was smiling at him with an expression that was far too innocent for the look in his eyes and the smirk ghosting his lips. “So, is it a date?”

Souji found himself smiling in return, which only made the look in Yosuke’s eyes grow warmer. _As if there was any other response to give_. “It’s a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **tamagoyaki** \- sweet rolled eggs


End file.
